My mouth tastes like death.
I manage to pry my eyes open and immediately feel the wrath of hell ripping through my right arm. My hand has been bandaged in so many layers of gauze itโs rendered my 5 fingers immobile and I find Iโm grateful for it.
Iโm so exhausted I donโt have the energy to cry.
I blink.
Try to look around but my neck is too stiff.
Fingers brush my shoulder and I discover myself wanting to exhale. I blink again. Once more. A girlโs face blurs in and out of focus. I turn my head to get a better view and blink blink blink some more.
โHowโre you feeling?โ she whispers.
โIโm okay,โ I say to the blur, but I think Iโm lying. โWho are you?โ
โItโs me,โ she says. Even without seeing her clearly I can hear the kindness in her voice. โSonya.โ
Of course.
Sara is probably here, too. I must be in the medical wing. โWhat happened?โ I ask. โHow long have I been out?โ She doesnโt answer and I wonder if she didnโt hear me.
โSonya?โ I try to meet her eyes. โHow long have I been sleeping?โ โYouโve been really sick,โ she says. โYour body needed timeโโ โHow long?โ My voice drops to a whisper.
โThree days.โ
I sit straight up and know Iโm going to be sick.
Luckily, Sonyaโs had the foresight to anticipate my needs. A bucket appears just in time for me to empty the meager contents of my stomach into it and then Iโm dry-heaving into what is not my suit but some kind of hospital gown and someone is wiping a hot, damp cloth across my face.
Sonya and Sara are hovering over me, the hot cloths in their hands, wiping down my bare limbs, making soothing sounds and telling me Iโm going to be fine, I just need to rest, Iโm finally awake long enough to eat something, I shouldnโt be worried because thereโs nothing to worry about and theyโre going to take care of me.
But then I look more closely.
I notice their hands, so carefully sheathed in latex gloves; I notice the IV stuck in my arm; I notice the urgent but cautious way they approach me and then I realize the problem.
The healers canโt touch me.