โHey, there you are,โ Aunt Rachel said when I unrolled my purple yoga mat and sat down next to her. โIโve missed you the last couple of days.โ
โYeah, well,โ I said, โsomebody tipped me off that Ianโs been keeping you company.โ
Wit had thought I was taking too big a risk by coming over to the Camp this morning, but Iโd covered his mouth midprotest and told him I needed to do this. I needed to calm and center myselfโฆand if that wasnโt possible, I needed toย think.
โYou assumed we sided with him, didnโt you?โ Aunt Rachel asked. โPledged our allegiance?โ
I gave her a look. โAunt Julia announced over a megaphone that I was leaving the beach!โ
โOh, Julia.โ My aunt laughed. โI probably shouldnโt say this, but it was all part of her master planโโ She dropped off, took my hand, and pressed it to her belly. โThe babyโฆโ
โHeโs kicking,โ I breathed, feeling the little punting. โLike a baby bronco.โ
She groaned. โIโm so done with being pregnant.โ
โWhat were you going to say?โ I asked a minute later. โBefore? About Aunt Juliaโs master plan?โ
Aunt Rachel smiled. โIanโs been assassinated,โ she told me. โJuliaย assassinated him last night. We invited him over to bake cookies with the
kids, and when he left, she followed him back to the Cabin.โ I gasped. โBut heโs her godson!โ
โI know.โ She nodded. โThatโs why she didnโt pursue him earlier. She said it was โmutually beneficialโ to leave him in the gameโthe more people he picked off, the closer she was to the showdown.โ She sighed. โBut he wasnโt making any progress.โ
So Aunt Julia and I think alike, I thought.ย The same strategy, except one of us pulled the trigger, and the otherโฆ
I needed to do it.
I needed to be like Aunt Julia. Iย neededย to kill Wit.
The thought made my stomach squirm.
โAlthough hereโs the twist,โ Aunt Rachel continued. โIan never had you, Mer.โ
My eyes widened. โWhat?โ
โIt was a ruse so youโd focus on him and feel secure with everyone else.โ
A classic Claire Fox stratagem, I realized. Spreading false information around The Farmโafter watching her win so many times, my cousin had caught on and learned something. Perhaps my alliance had failed this year, but Ian had played well.
โI donโt know who heโs working with,โ Aunt Rachel said before I could ask. โI just know the name on Juliaโs new slip isnโt yours.โ
I released a deep breath.
โAnd on that noteโฆโ She smiled. โShall we begin?โ โYes.โ I smiled back. โWe shall.โ
But when we closed our eyes, Luli came to mind.ย Youโve been thinking about yourself and only yourself.
I mean, she wasnโt wrong there. Now that Wit and I were spending so much time together, our pactย hadย become stronger than my alliance with my
friends. It was an alliance in itself. I hadnโt meant for it to happen, but it had. It was hard for it not to when we fell asleep together every night.
I couldnโt find that vital balance between friends and boyfriend. Ben had been all I needed after Claireโs death. I didnโt need to go shopping or get coffee or just hang out with my friends. I shouldโve, but I didnโt. School, bagel shop job, and Benโthat was all I could handle. When Claire had died, fun died with her. It was like I was walking through a thick fog and needed to cling to someone so I didnโt get lost.
Wit was different, though, right? I wasnโt clinging to him; it was more like we were tangled together, an invisible string connecting us. He was my friend, my partner in crime, the person who made me laugh so hard before lulling me to sleep with his heartbeat and adorable mouth breathing.
Iโm going to try, I wanted to tell Luli.ย Iโve made so many mistakes, but Iโm going to try my best to do better. Weโve been friends foreverโI want toย stayย friends forever.
By the time Aunt Rachel and I wrapped up our session, Iโd decided that I would talk with Luli. Her hurtful comments still stung, but I regretted not saying more, not trying harder.
โWhereโre you headed next?โ Aunt Rachel asked as we rolled up our mats, and I said I was going on a hike.
Because the Nylon Condo Complex was exactly that.
* * *
After leaving the Camp, I set off across the lawn, only to encounter Michael walking down the Pond Houseโs road wearing last nightโs clothes: the same black sweatshirt with the Saintsโ gold fleur-de-lis logo, the same jeans. I sped up, quick and quiet steps, and soon was at his side. โGood morning,โ I said casually and laughed when he flinched with surprise. โYou get some good sleep?โ
โYes, as a matter of a fact,โ he said, fully owning his walk of shame. โI did finally.โ He yawned, then smiled to himself. โI never sleep well when weโre apart.โ
A lump formed in my throat.
โSpeaking of,โ Michael said, โwhereโs Witty?โ
โAs far as I know,โ I told him, โheโs still in bed.โ
โGreat.โ He clapped his hands together. โIโm in the mood for a run.โ
All was silent at the Nylon Condo Complex when I arrived. It was early enough that most people were still sleeping, but some had probably gotten up and dragged themselves over to Moor House for breakfast with the Duprรฉ clan. That kitchen could hold an army, and Jeannie was more than capable of feeding one. โYeah, the woman canย cook,โ Eli had said after Iโd raved about the gumbo. โYou should try her spin on eggs Benedict.โ
Iโll go over for breakfast, I decided before circling the tents until I found the magenta one, the tent Luli was sharing with Pravika and her sister. They were both early risers, but not Luli. Her longest sleep was sixteen hours straight.
Heart racing, I attempted to knock on the nylon. Of course weโd grown up not needing to knock on the house doors, but this was a tent, and I felt like I had to now. โHello?โ I said when my knuckles just slid down the thin fabric. โLuli?โ
There was no response at first, but soon someone unzipped the tentโs front flap. Luliโs dark bedhead looked like a nest around her face. โMeredith,โ she said, voice a grumble. โHi.โ
We stared at each other for a few seconds, and then I blinked and pretended my pulse wasnโt pounding so hard. โCan we talk?โ I asked. โI have something to tell you.โ
Luli grandly gestured inside. โWelcome.โ
Her tent was much messier than Eli and Jakeโs. I glanced around to see an air mattress, sleeping bag, and pillow arranged in each personโs corner, but
there were also exploding duffel bags and backpacks. Various clothes and shoes and towels were strewn across the floor, and sand had inevitably been tracked in from the beach. I suddenly felt guilty for not offering up Claireโs bunk in the Annexโand, since I technically hadnโt slept there, mine as well.
โNot exactly Moor House,โ Luli commented. โOrย anyย house.โ โBut itโs fun, right?โ I said tentatively. โYouโre having fun?โ
โYes,โ she said. โThe Nylon Condo Complex has seen plenty of fun.โ I nodded back, and again, things went silent between us.
Luli broke it this time. โSo you said you had something to tell me.โ She crossed her arms over her oversize T-shirt. โWhat is it?โ
โOh,โ I said, inviting myself to sit down. Luli stayed standing. โItโs about Assassin. I have some news for you.โ
โFrom Wit?โ
โNo.โ I shook my head. โAunt Rachel.โ Luli arched an eyebrow.
I took that as my cue, telling her all about Aunt Julia and what had gone down between her and Ian last night. Her original strategy, the cookies, the delayed eliminationโ
โBut how does this involve me?โ Luli asked before I could finish. โIan wasย yourย assassin, so now Aunt Julia has you. I have no part in this.โ
โWell, thatโs the thing,โ I said. โIt was all a cover-up. Ian took Claireโs false intel tactic to the next level, actuallyย actingย like he had me. Showing up at Aunt Rachelโs morning meditations, tracking me in the Varsity Room.โ I shook my head. โIt was a farce. Someone in his secret alliance has me, not himโand not Aunt Julia.โ
Luli sighed. โHow do you know for sure?โ
โBecause I have this,โ I said, pulling up a photo on my phone: a laminated piece of paper with Luliโs name on it. She stiffened. โItโs Aunt Juliaโs,โ I
continued. โAunt Rachel snuck into their bedroom while she was still sleeping and brought it out to show me.โ
Donโt spread this around, my aunt had said.ย Use it wisely.
Iโd say I was using it as wisely as I knew how.
Luli stared at the photo, rubbed her eyes, then stared at it again. I kept quiet. โThank you,โ she eventually whispered. โFor the heads-up.โ
โYouโre welcome,โ I said and added, โIโve always got your back.โ
Luliโs face twisted into something I couldnโt read, but I took my chance anywayโI apologized. I apologized for the last eighteen months. โYou were the best,โ I told her, โreaching out so often, but I just couldnโt respond most of the time.โ My eyes welled up. โI tried to, but I physically couldnโt do it. My fingers would shake, my throat would thicken, or I would literally start crying.โ Tears trickled down my face now, too. โBeing in my house was a constant reminder that she was gone. I mean, for a while, I tried to convince myself that she was just away at college, but I felt like talking about it with you would make things worse. Each text, each FaceTime, each Snapchat was another reminder that sheโs gone.โ I shook my head. โIโm sorry. I shouldโve handled it differently. You didnโt deserve to be ignored.โ
โNo, I didnโt,โ Luli said numbly and turned away from me. โAll I wanted was to be there for you, to be a good friendโa good cousin.โ
โYouย areย a good cousin,โ I said. โYou are so special.โ
Luli considered, her back still facing me. โCould you please leave, Meredith?โ she asked after a few frantic heartbeats. โI need some space.โ
โOhโฆokay, sure.โ I scrambled up from the ground and wiped away my tears, even though I felt another rush coming. โIโll see you later?โ
By way of an answer, Luli nodded.
* * *
The wedding receptionโs white tent looked like a billowing cloud in the beyond-blue sky, and as I got closer to the Big House, I noticed Aunt
Christine supervising the tentโs construction while Honey also hovered on the lawn. But instead of eagle-eyeing the crew, she was offering the builders glasses of her homemade iced tea and chocolate chip cookies.
The Big House is truly perfect, I thought.ย Truly perfect for a wedding.
Apparently, there had been some back-and-forth about where on The Farm the reception should be held, but in the end, Wink and Honeyโs home trumped all. โIt has the best view,โ Sarah had said. โThe ocean, the ponds, the starsโyou can see everything, and I want that night to be everything.โ
Wink was relaxing on the front porch, reading a book. โMorning, Mer,โ he said as I collapsed on the hammock. โAny updates?โ
I closed my eyes. โYeah,โ I said, โIโm in a food coma from breakfast at Moor House. Jeannie made me her eggs Benedict. You know she adds fried green tomatoes and grilled red tomatoes?โ I sighed. โItโs delicious.โ
โMmm, yes,โ my grandfather agreed. โWhen Honey and I went to visit Sarah and Michael this winter, she and Oscar invited us over for brunch. Tomatoes are a very Creole fruit, you know.โ
โShe mentioned that,โ I said, then swallowed hard. Iโd texted Pravika that I was coming for breakfast, so she, Eli, and Jake had saved me a seat at the long kitchen table, but their faces when they saw meโฆ
I knew that they knew about Luliโs and my fight. She mustโve told them yesterday. โShe didnโt mean any of it,โ Pravika said once I sat down and picked up my utensils. โNot a word.โ
โDid she tell you that?โ I asked. โNo,โ Pravika said, โbutโโ
Eli cut her off. โMeredith, I wouldnโt say she didnโtย meanย it.โ I waited for him to say more.
He didnโt, so Jake sighed and stepped in. โYou ghosting her really bummed her out, Mer. I mean, it really bummed all of us outโโhe glanced around the table, and the others noddedโโbut her the most. Sheโs always
thought of you and Claire as sistersโฆso after Claireโฆโ He paused. โShe wanted to be there for you, but she also needed you to be there forย her.โ
I winced. He was right, and I was an idiot. Iโd never thought of it that way before, that Luli wanted to be both comforting and comforted.
โGive her time to process,โ Eli said after I told them about my apology. He put an arm around me. โSheโs upset. Itโll take her some time to calm down, but itโll happen.โ He gave me a look. โOkay?โ
I bit my lip. โOkay.โ
It was silent for a minute, and then Pravika spoke up. โNew topic?โ she suggested. โFun topic?โ
โLike what?โ I asked.
โIsnโt it obvious?โ she said, giggling. โYour hot-and-heavy wedding hookup?โ
Now, in the Big Houseโs hammock, my heart sank. โWell, do you think youโre going to be able to do it?โ Wink said.
I blinked. โHuh?โ
My grandfather closed his book. โDo you think youโre going to be able to do it?โ he asked again.
All I could do was gape at him.ย He knew?
Wink nodded. โYou started out so strong, MerโฆRachel and her meditation, Daniel in Edgartownโand from the Jeep, no less!โOscar during bocce, and Sarahโsย odiousย friend Vivian.โ He leaned forward in his Adirondack chair. โBut Iโve been watching you. Youโve been carrying around your Super Soakerโโhe pointed his book at the water gun, propped up against a porch columnโโfor two days now yet haveย nothingย to show for it.โ He leaned back in his chair. โSo tell me, does he know?โ
I sighed. โHe guessed.โ
Wink whistled. โHis nickname is apt.โ
โBut I lied,โ I admitted, covering my face with my hands. โIย liedย to him and said I had Luli instead.โ
โAh.โ
โI shouldโve told him the truth,โ I said anxiously. โI shouldโve been honest, and we couldโve made some sort of deal.โ
โBut you didnโt,โ my grandfather said, โand youโre worried that if you come clean now, heโll feel betrayed.โ
I nodded.
Tell me what to do, I thought.ย Please.
โHmm,โ was all Wink said before opening his book again. He wasnโt going to tell me anything. And why would he? Yes, he was my grandfather, but he was also the Assassin commissioner! He couldnโt advise or show any favoritism.
I stood up to leave.
His voice stopped me. โKeep in mind, Meredith,โ he said, โthat only one person can win.โ
* * *
Even though the wedding ceremony rehearsal was this afternoon, Wit had been more than game when I told him about driving out to Beach Road and jumping off the Jaws Bridge. It was the borderline between Edgartown and Oak Bluffs, but the landmarkโs true claim to fame was its appearance in the movieย Jaws, which had been filmed on the Vineyard in the 1970s. โYou have to do it,โ Iโd said. โItโs pretty much a rite of passage for tourists.โ
The bridge sat twelve or fifteen feet above the water, and there were signs that read KEEP OFF BRIDGE RAIL! and NO JUMPING OR DIVING
FROM BRIDGE! but everyone ignored those. Claire and I first made the great jump when we were thirteen and twelve. We jumped holding hands, and six launches later, we were doing swan dives and flips (with a few belly flops mixed in).
โOh, Iโm so down,โ Wit said once Iโd explained the tradition, nodding quickly. โSoย down.โ
We agreed to meet at the Annex, so after slipping into a swimsuit, I sat down on the front steps to wait.ย All set, I DMed @sowitty17.
And then I just scrolled through Instagram, eventually finding myself on Sarahโs account. Her latest post was from Back Door Donuts, a video Iโd filmed of her double-fisting Boston cream donuts. โWatch it, cuz,โ I heard myself say. โYou might not fit in your dress.โ
โOh, Iโll fit,โ she said through a big bite. โI might not be able toย breathe, but Iโll fit!โ
#HurrayShesADuprรฉ.
Sarah doesnโt have many videos, I realized, so I continued to scroll past pictures of her brunching with friends, on the sidelines of a Saintsโ game, at a Mardi Gras celebration, and posing with the Duprรฉ family during her engagement party. Sarah had her hand on Michaelโs chest, her gigantic ring glittering in the light. Her smile was a mile wide.
But eventually, there one wasโanother video, buried deep among the photos. My heart stopped, immediately recognizing the person in the thumbnail. At first glance, it couldโve been Sarah, with the cascading auburn hair and glassesโฆbut the off-the-shoulder blouse she wore?
It was mine. Claire had asked if she could borrow it when packing for her trip.
That was my sister, right there.
Donโt watch it, I thought.ย Donโt even think aboutโ
I tapped the video. It didnโt have a caption, but the location tag wasย Basin Seafood and Spirits Restaurant. My face prickled.
Claireโs last night.
When I tapped the video to turn on the sound, Sarah was speaking. It was difficult to hear in the humming restaurant, but I did my best. โWatch her,โ she said. โWatch whatโs happening over there.โ She zoomed in on Claire and her salad, which she was enthusiastically rearranging with her knife and fork. โShe hasnโt taken a single bite.โ
โAnd I donโt think heโs noticed,โ Michael chimed in. โDo you?โ
Sarah giggled. โI think he has,โ she said, tilting up to Claireโs face. She literally could not keep her mouth shut; it was moving as fast as her utensils. โI think heโs being sweet, politeโoh, look! His eyes just dropped down to her plate. Heโs on to her.โ
My spine straightened, because I suddenly had a feeling I knew who they were talking aboutโฆand when Sarah moved her camera again, there he was next to my sister.
Wit.
โHey!โ he shouted from across the table. โAre you filming us?โ
He looked the same but different. His sandy hair was a bit shorter, and of course his face was unblemished. No bruise, no sunburn.
โI donโt remember signing a waiver,โ he said. โDo you, Claire?โ
My sister laughed, and just like that, my fingers began trembling, my phone shaking. I hadnโt listened to Claireโs laugh in over a year. Her gorgeous, dazzling laugh. The world felt so quiet without it.
I let my phone drop lifelessly to the grass, but I snatched it right back up once I heard Witโs voice in real life. โIโm ready!โ he called out, walking toward me in striped trunks with a towel thrown over his shoulder. โAreย youย ready?โ
He grinned and tried to kiss me after I rose from the deckโs steps, but I twisted away from him. I held up my phone and managed to choke out, โWhat the hell is this?โ
Witโs eyebrows furrowed. โUh, your phone?โ
โOh.โ I realized Iโd locked it, the screen now dark. โHang on.โ I quickly entered my passcode and queued up the video, sound and all. โWhat,โ I repeated, โis this?โ
I watched his face fall as the video played, my eyes pooling at Claireโs laughter. โListen,โ he murmured, โI can explainโโ
โYou knew Claire?โ I interrupted, my voice shrill. โYouย knewย my sister?โ
A beat of hesitation, and then a nod.
Needles pricked the back of my neck. โI canโt believe you didnโt tell me,โ I said. โI canโt believeโฆโ I trailed off, unsure how to continue. My vision blurred with oncoming tears.
โPlease let me explain,โ Wit said, putting a light hand on my arm. I shook it off and brushed past him into the open field. Part of me wanted him to tell me everything, but the rest didnโt want to hear a word. โMeredith!โ Wit caught up to me, matched his pace to mine. โI tried to tell you,โ he said. โIโve been trying to tell you.โ
โWhen?โ I snapped.
โYesterday,โ he replied. โWhile we were hiking. You said it was like I knew her?โ
I stopped walking. We were in the tall grass, both looking out at the dunes.ย You sound like you knew her, Iโd said after Wit had complimented Lokiโs water bottle drinking abilities, but I hadnโt thought much of it, chalking it up to me talking about Claire so much. But then, yes, something had shifted, and heโd looked away from me.ย Meredith, I vaguely remembered him saying,ย I think I need to clear something upโฆ
Then thunder had cracked.
โWell you shouldโve triedย harder,โ I told him now, not caring how loud my voice sounded. โYou shouldโve told me on the way home, or before gumbo, or later that day!โ
Wit scrubbed a hand through his hair. โI thought you knew,โ he said softly. โYou cut me off so abruptly, saying we had to run back to the car.โ
โNo, theย thunderย cut you off,โ I countered, heart hammering. โWeย did
have to run back!โ
โMeredith, it wasย oneย rumble. I thought you knew what I was about to say and didnโt want to hear it.โ He swallowed. โI wanted to respect that.โ
There was a weird crunching noise in the tall grass behind us, but I was too frustrated to look. It was probably Loki or Clarabelle or one of the other
dogs.
I clenched my teeth. โSo is that also why you didnโt say anything on Monday?โ I asked as another clue came to mind from Wink and Honeyโs dinner, where Sarah had told the story about the salad. Sheโd said sheโd forgotten who Claire was sitting with at Basinโmaybe that was true, maybe it wasnโt, I didnโt really careโand Wit had kept shifting on Claireโs stool. โWhen we were talking about her?โ
Wit was quiet. Again, I heard that crunching noise, but all I could focus on was waiting for him to speak. โYou were shivering,โ he murmured. โIt was warm out, but you were shivering.โ My arms were crossed over my chest, but a few of his fingers began brushing through my hair, subtly and smoothly, like they had that night. I resisted the urge to close my eyes and let myself cry. โI never wouldโve done that to you.โ
โBut you still kept it a secret,โ I said. โYou kept it a secret forย wayย too long. I mean, were youย everย going to tell me?โ I stepped away from him. โI gave you every opportunityโtalking about her, telling all those stories.โ I shook my head. โMaybe ifโโ
I couldnโt finish the sentence, because a surge of something hit me square in the back.
Well, not a surge ofย something. A surge ofย water.
Wait, what?ย I thought as Wit and I turned to see Uncle Brad grinning like the most cunning of foxes. It took a second for things to sink in, but once they didโฆ
I was speechless.
Youโve been assassinated, I told myself.ย Youโve blown it.
My stomach dropped. I was supposed to do this for Claire. I was supposed toย winย for her.
โCough it up,โ Uncle Brad said, gesturing toward my shorts pocket with his water gun. โTight schedule today, with the ceremony rehearsal and
dinner and all.โ
โYeah.โ My throat was dry. โOkay.โ I slid my hand into my pocket for my Assassin slip, but slowly, so I could throw a quick look Witโs way. โRun,โ I muttered to him.
Uncle Brad still had his gun raised, and my anger at Wit aside, I did not want my uncle knocking off two targets within a mere minute of each other.
Wit narrowed his eyes. โWhat?โ โAny day now, Merโฆโ
โRun,โ I mumbled again.
โNo,โ Wit said as I tugged my target slip from my pocket. I held it facedown, name pressed against my chest. โWe arenโt finished talking. Just hand it overโโhe motioned to Uncle Bradโโso we can work this out. Iโm not leaving.โ
Body angled away from Uncle Brad, I flipped the paper over so Wit could see his name on it. His turquoise eyes widened while the rest of his face went slack. โStephen,โ I said firmly. โRun.โ