Everything was teeth and breathless pain.
Evangeline tried to escape. She tried to cry out.
She thought she heard Honora cry out as well. But Chaos didn’t release her. One of his hands held her neck while his lips drank her blood. He drank and drank, draining her with violent pulls of his mouth and tongue and the occasional scrape of teeth, piercing more skin and drawing more blood. She could feel it rushing from her veins to his mouth,
leaving so fast her heart couldn’t keep up.
Honora started pleading.
Evangeline tried to hit Chaos, but she couldn’t muster the strength to move her hands. She couldn’t even open her eyes. Her body was heavy, and her head was light. All she could feel were Chaos’s teeth, cutting deeper to take even more—
“Castor, no!” Jacks shouted.
The vampire was wrenched away.
Evangeline started to fall, and then Jacks was there. Her eyes were too heavy to open—but she could feel him. He held her with the type of intensity that only happens when a person wants something that isn’t quite theirs.
But she was. She just needed to tell him she loved him.
“Evangeline—” His voice was hoarse. “Come back to me.…”
I’m not dead, she tried to say. But there was something wrong with her throat. And it seemed Jacks couldn’t hear her thoughts.
He silently held her tighter and pressed his forehead to hers. She wasn’t sure if he was crying or if she was, but there was wet on her cheeks. It felt a lot like tears. And then she felt …
Nothing.
THE END
Chapter no 44.2
Evangeline was beginning to fear that time was fueled by emotions and that things like dread made it move faster. There was a curvy black glass clock atop the fireplace mantel in Jacks’s room. Her palms started to sweat as she watched the spinning of the second hand, twirling faster and faster each minute.
Soon it would be nightfall. Soon she would forget him.
She would forget this version of her life.
The door creaked open. Evangeline looked away from the clock to find Chaos standing in the doorway.
He was dressed more like a warrior than a prince, in red velvet and leather and gilded weapons. There was only one other time she’d seen him in something aside from leather armor, yet she couldn’t shake the sense she’d seen him dressed like this before. “Ready, Princess?”
“No,” Evangeline blurted. She would never be ready to have her life erased and replaced. “Don’t we need to wait for Jacks?”
She stole what she hoped was a covert glance down the hall in search of the errant Prince of Hearts.
“He won’t be joining us,” Chaos said. “I’m going to bring him the stones after you’ve opened the arch.”
“Actually, I changed my mind.” Jacks swaggered down the hall, a stunning young woman at his side. She had painted red lips, shimmering black hair, and a slip of a dress that didn’t even look like enough to be a nightgown.
Evangeline felt a surge of jealousy and confusion.
“What is she doing here?” Chaos gave a tight nod to the girl in the slip.
Jacks shrugged. “I thought you might need a snack when you get your helm off.”
Chaos made a sound like grinding teeth. “I’ll be fine.” “I’m sure you will. But—”
“No,” Chaos said sharply.
“What if we just leave her in the carriage?” Jacks waved a thoughtless arm at the girl. She didn’t even move. Doll-like, the girl stared straight ahead, clearly under Jacks’s control.
“I agree with Chaos,” Evangeline said. “I won’t let you drag this poor girl around.”
“I’m hardly dragging her around.” Jacks flashed a dimple at the girl. “Isn’t that right, pet?”
“I’m happy to be here,” the girl said cheerfully. “I’ve always wanted to meet a vampire. I wore this dress so there would be lots of places—”
“Get rid of her,” Chaos interrupted. “Evangeline doesn’t want the girl to come with us.”
Jacks glared at Evangeline, but something about it was off. The firm set of his mouth was angry, but his eyes were filled with something else—pain. You’re picking the wrong thing to be stubborn about, he thought to her.
Why do you even care how I feel? she thought back tartly. It’s not as if I’ll remember any of this anyway.
Jacks worked his jaw.
She hoped that he would argue with her—she hoped that he would fight for her. She hoped despite everything that he
would choose her. But after dismissing the girl, Jacks and Chaos and Evangeline walked in silence to the carriage.
 |
The ride to Wolf Hall was excruciating. Evangeline’s heart felt especially fragile in her chest as they drew closer to the castle. These were her last moments with Jacks, and although he sat across from her, he wouldn’t even look at her.
He stared out the frosted window as if he wished the night were already over and the past were already changed.
Evangeline wished he’d have second thoughts about his plans, but he looked more unyielding than ever. She wished she knew what to say to make him change his mind, but she didn’t want to convince him to do anything. She wanted him to make the choice. And she feared she was running out of time.
Instead of time moving like sand slowly pouring through an hourglass, she felt as if the hourglass had cracked open and all the sand was quickly spilling out. She didn’t know if it was her fear or if it was something else, but she kept losing moments.
She didn’t recall arriving at Wolf Hall, but suddenly, they were there. Then, it was as if she’d blinked and they were back at the library door with the wolf head on it, ready to enter the room with the Valory Arch.
Chapter no 45.2
The room was just as Evangeline remembered—crumbling floors, gray walls, fossilized air that scratched at her throat, and a giant arch guarded by a pair of warrior angels.
With a click, Chaos unlocked the small iron trunk holding the first three stones.
The air immediately changed, glitter swirling through the room like dust.
Evangeline stole a look back at Jacks. Once she opened the arch, the stones would be his to use as he pleased. She wished that he’d change his mind, that this night wouldn’t end with her forgetting him. But he was still refusing to look at her. As if one glance her way might change his mind, and then the whole world might come crashing down around them.
Reluctantly, she looked away, and one by one, Evangeline put the first three stones in the arch. They looked duller than she’d remembered. She hoped that maybe they’d already been used to change time. Then she instantly felt guilty. Evangeline hated the choice that Jacks was making, but she didn’t want it taken away from him. Instead, she hoped, one final time, that he would make a better choice. With that, she put the fourth stone inside the arch.
Welcome back, it whispered.
Chaos held out one of his daggers, and Evangeline carefully pricked her finger.
As soon as she touched her blood to the stones, the room exploded with light. The angels glowed like a slice of sun. Evangeline had to shield her eyes until the angels dimmed.
When she could see again, the stone angels lowered their swords, and behind them waited a great wooden door with an iron knocker shaped like a wolf’s head. Chaos pressed one gloved hand against the door as if to test if it was real. Then he took his dagger and sliced off a lock of her pink hair.
She jolted back. “Why did you do that?”
“The hair is to break the curses on you and Apollo—just wait here while I go inside.”
“I think Evangeline should just leave.” Jacks gave her a bloodshot glare.
Evangeline felt briefly stunned. Was this supposed to be his version of goodbye? And when had his eyes become so red? She told herself not to worry, but she suddenly felt as if something was very wrong. “Jacks, are you all right?”
“No.” In a flash, his red eyes narrowed. His mouth pulled tight, and his voice turned to venom. “I’m confused as to what you’re still doing here. Do you think you’re still needed?”
“Jacks—”
“I know my name. There’s no need for you to keep repeating it.”
Evangeline flinched at the malice in his tone.
Even Chaos looked surprised. Then, as if not wanting to be a part of their final argument, he slipped through the door to the Valory.
Evangeline and Jacks were alone.
A muscle throbbed in Jacks’s neck as he continued to hold her gaze. “What are you still doing here, Evangeline? Did you expect a teary goodbye?” He sneered. “I’ve told you before that you are nothing but a tool to me. Now your purpose has been fulfilled.”
Embarrassment burned her cheeks. But she couldn’t bring herself to move. Evangeline didn’t know what she’d expected. She’d hoped that Jacks would change his mind, but even if he didn’t, there was no reason for him to be like this after all that they’d been through. “Why are you being so cruel?”
“Because you won’t leave!” Jacks shouted. “And if you stay, you will die. Chaos hasn’t fed in hundreds of years. I know he thinks he can control his hunger, but he can’t. That’s why they put the helm on him.”
“You could have just said that. If you don’t want me to say goodbye or you want me to leave, you don’t have to hurt me to get me to do it.”
“I’m not—I—” Jacks broke off abruptly. His eyes were no longer just red, they were blazing with fear. She’d never seen him look so terrified before. She’d been poisoned, shot, lashed across the back, and Jacks had always kept his calm until now.
With a great deal of effort, he took a deep breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was soft but uneven. “I’m sorry, Little Fox. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just—”
He looked suddenly at a loss for words, as if whatever he said next might be the wrong thing. He’d never looked at her like this before.
“Jacks, please, don’t use the stones tonight. Come with me instead.”
He took a jagged breath. For a second, he looked torn. He raked a hand through his hair, his movements jagged.
Evangeline took a step closer.
He shuttered his expression and took a step back. “This doesn’t change anything. I still can’t have you in my life. You and I aren’t meant to be.”
“What if you’re wrong?”
Jacks worked his jaw and clenched his fists.
Evangeline had once heard a tale about a pair of doomed stars, drawn across skies toward each other’s brightness, even though they knew that if they drew too close, their desire would end in a fiery explosion. This was how Jacks looked at her now. As if neither of them would survive if they drew any closer.
“Evangeline, you need to go.”
A thunderous roar poured out from the Valory, so loud it shook the arch and the angels and the ground at Evangeline’s feet.
“Get out of here,” Jacks said.
She held his gaze, one final time, wishing she knew how to change his mind. “I wish our story could have had another ending.”
“I don’t want a different ending,” Jacks said flatly. “I just want you to leave.”
Chapter no 46.2
Everything hurt. It was the sort of pain that made it hard to breathe.
All Evangeline wanted was to run back to Jacks. But she forced herself to keep walking. She made herself exit the library and turn down the emptiest hall she could find, where no one could hear her cry.
She pressed her hands to her eyes as the tears flowed harder. She didn’t want to cry. But it truly felt over. And it hurt. It hurt so much. It hurt in her chest, and it hurt in her heart. Because he didn’t want her heart. The thought made her cry harder. She cried until she couldn’t see straight, until she was in some unknown corridor, clutching her stomach and biting her arm, trying to silence the sobs as she sank to the floor.
Maybe it would be better to forget him. She hadn’t wanted the forgetting before, but she wanted it now.
She wanted the pain to end. She wanted to forget his dimpled smile, his brilliant blue eyes, the way he called her Little Fox. And suddenly, her chest was tight at the thought she might never hear that nickname again. And she didn’t want to forget. She didn’t want to forget at all.
She didn’t want the memories erased or rewritten; she wanted more of them.
She didn’t want to say goodbye. She still wanted Jacks to change his mind. To find a way to another true love.
It hit Evangeline then, how she could save Jacks. It was so simple, she cursed herself for not considering it before. Love was how she could save him. She didn’t just care about him or want him. She loved him. She just needed to tell him that.
Love was the most powerful magic of all. If he loved her the way she loved him, they could find a way to make it work.
It didn’t matter if he stayed forever cursed. All that mattered was that he stayed, that he chose her instead of fear.
Evangeline started back toward the arch. She needed to find him; she needed to tell him how she felt before it was too late. She needed to do it before he used the stones and she forgot they’d ever met.
He couldn’t have used them yet, because she still remembered him. Evangeline picked up her pace to a run, chest heaving and slippers slapping hard against the castle floors. She must have gone farther than she’d thought and stayed there longer than she’d realized. Wolf Hall was waking up. She could hear servants moving down other halls and see the flicker of freshly lit candles lighting her way back to the library.
It felt like forever before she reached the room with the arch.
The air still swirled with magic and hints of power that felt like a storm. The arch was the same as when she had left. The ancient door was still there, and so were all the stones.
Evangeline felt a rush of relief. If Jacks hadn’t taken the stones, maybe he’d already changed his mind? Although …
if he’d changed his mind, it seemed odd he’d have just left the stones for someone else to take.
Something was wrong. She knew it even before she noticed the drops of gold-flecked blood spattered across the wings of the warrior angels.
A tremor of fear moved inside her. What if Chaos had fed on Jacks? Or what if something else from inside the Valory had hurt him? She still didn’t know what was inside of it.
Evangeline reached for the door. But it was already opening.
She jumped back.
“It’s all right,” Apollo said as he appeared in the archway, his broad shoulders nearly filling it.
Evangeline tensed and took another step back.
Apollo slowly raised his hands. “Please, don’t be scared. I’m not going hurt you.” He looked down at her with warm brown eyes; the red was gone, along with the anguish. “The curse is lifted, Evangeline.”
“How?”
“A woman—she didn’t tell me her name, but she was some sort of healer. She found me, cut some of my hair, said a few words I didn’t understand, then I felt it vanish.” Apollo took a shuddering breath. “As soon as it was lifted, I told her that I needed to find you, and she showed me an old arch that led me here.” He looked around the ancient room as if trying to figure out where he was, but then his eyes quickly returned to Evangeline’s.
They really were beautiful eyes, rich and brown, and when he looked at her, his gaze was so full of emotion it made her chest ache again. She didn’t know what he wanted to say, but she knew she couldn’t stay. She had to find Jacks.
And yet, it felt callous to just run from Apollo. He’d been cursed three times now. She had no idea if he even knew
why. He didn’t look haunted or desperate like the last time she’d seen him, but there was something terribly vulnerable about him as he stood in the door with his palms still raised and his smile fading. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“It’s not your fault—you were cursed.”
“I should have fought it harder.” Apollo slowly lowered his hands. “I shouldn’t have come to your room last night. I should have run away so that I wouldn’t hurt you.”
He shook his head remorsefully. His dark hair had grown longer. It fell over one eye, making him look suddenly younger as he said, “I’ve had a lot of time to think. But mostly, I’ve just thought of you.”
Evangeline’s heart cracked a little. Weeks ago, this was what she wanted to hear Apollo, uncursed, saying: he wanted her. And a part of her still wished she could want it. It made far more sense to fall in love with the prince than with the villain. But Evangeline didn’t want love that made sense, she wanted love that made her feel, love that made her want to fight and hope for the impossible.
“Whatever you’ve thought, it’s only because of the Archer’s curse. Jacks said—”
“You can’t trust anything he says,” Apollo snapped, and for a second, he looked murderous.
Evangeline backed away a step.
Apollo scrubbed a hand down his face. The rage vanished, replaced by pain. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. He’s just done so much to both of us. He’s clearly used some of his magic to make you trust him.”
Evangeline almost didn’t reply. Apollo was justified in his anger. But she didn’t want him blaming Jacks for crimes he hadn’t committed. “I know he’s done a lot of terrible things, but he hasn’t used any magic on me, and if it weren’t for him, neither of us would be alive.”
“No, Evangeline. If it weren’t for Jacks, neither of us would have ever been in danger.” Apollo dragged a hand through his hair. “I wish he didn’t have this hold on you.”
“I wish he didn’t, either,” she confessed. And she would have told Apollo that she’d really tried to love him. But that confession almost seemed as unkind as some of the things that Jacks had done. “I’m sorry, Apollo.”
He looked at her with wounded eyes. “I am, too.” But there was something off about the way he said it.
A warning pulsed inside Evangeline, telling her she needed to leave. But Apollo was too quick. She tried to dart past him, but he grabbed her and pressed her back to one of the stone angels, holding her in place with his chest and one heavy arm around her waist.
“Apollo—stop. Let me go!” She shoved against him.
“Shh, sweetheart.” He stroked her hair, unmoved by her protests. “I didn’t want to do this, but it’s for the best.”
He brushed his thumb across her temple, terrifyingly soft and sweet, and she felt the fight draining out of her limbs.
“What did you just…” Her head was too heavy to finish the question.
“It’s all right. I’ve got you.” His arm tightened around her waist.
She tried again to struggle, but she was pathetically weak—as if she were a ball of yarn trying to battle a great cat.
Apollo cupped her face with one large hand. His touch was soft, but it felt wrong, as if he wasn’t just caressing her. It felt as if he were reaching into her, as if there were invisible fingers digging into her mind, taking things they shouldn’t. Memories.
“No!” Evangeline tried in vain to struggle as she felt him snatch away the first night they met—the night Evangeline kissed him, up in the tree after Jacks had painted her lips
with his blood. Although … the memory of that was fading as well.
“Don’t!” she cried. “Stop!” But Apollo merely held her tighter.
“It will be better soon.” He stroked her cheek, and the memory of the last time they’d been together, when they’d been kissing in the bed, when he’d wrapped his hands around her throat, when Jacks had stormed into the room and carried her away—it all disappeared.
There was a blankness in her mind. She knew something had been stolen, but she had no idea what it was.
With her body weakened, she fought to lock him out of her mind, to hide her remaining memories, but one by one he plucked them out.
The night in the crypt with Jacks … gone.
Marrying Apollo … gone.
Her friendship with LaLa … gone.
Apollo infected with the Archer’s curse … gone.
Jumping off the cliff with Jacks— “No!” she screamed.
… gone.
The wonder of the Hollow … gone.
Jacks bandaging her wounds … gone.
Jacks confessing he was the Archer … gone.
“Please, stop,” she begged.
She held tight to the memories of her parents, of the curiosity shop, of all the fairytales her mother had ever told her. Evangeline tried to hold them in her head like a child with a precious blanket, as if they might protect her, since she couldn’t seem to protect them.
“Please—stop! Please, stop!” she cried. “Please—”
She cried until her throat went raw. Until she wasn’t even sure who she was begging.
She was crying so hard she could barely see.
But she knew that she was alone. Not just alone in this strange place but alone in the world. She felt it down to her bones.
