โWELL, IT WASNโT GREAT,โ I admitted, โbut it could have been much worse.โ
โTell your daughter to give herself more credit,โ Marid insisted.
Mom and Dad smiled, and I was glad weโd run into them in the hallway. Dadโs voice, above all the others, would help me sort out exactly what Iโd just said and done.
โWe try, Marid, I assure you.โ Dad took a sip of his wine before setting it down, pushing it far away, and pouring himself a cup of tea, just like Mom.
The doctor said an occasional drink was fine, but she clearly wasnโt interested in risking it, and I wasnโt surprised Dad would follow her lead.
โHowโs your mother?โ Mom asked. The set of her lips made me feel like sheโd been dying to ask the question.
Marid grinned. โShe never slows down. Sheโs sad, of course, that she canโt do bigger things, but she works diligently to take care of those near us in Columbia. Even a small bit of good is better than none.โ
โAgreed,โ Mom replied. โWould you please tell her I think of her often?โ
She flicked her eyes toward Dad, who remained unreadable, but Marid seemed pleased. โI will. And I can assure you, she feels the same.โ
The conversation paused, and everyone focused on their drinks for a moment. Finally, Dad saved us from the silence.
โSo it sounds like that one couple was borderline vicious. The wife, what was her name?โ
โSharron,โ Marid and I chorused back.
Dad shook his head. โShe came in with an agenda.โ
โThey all did,โ I said. โBut wasnโt that the point? Everyone probably has a specific idea of how to improve their day-to-day life. The hard part wasnโt that they had those thoughtsโit was how they were trying to get them across.โ
Mom nodded. โThere has to be a way to do something like this without all the arguing. It slows everything down.โ
โIn some ways, but in others it adds to the discussion,โ Marid claimed. โOnce they were reminded of who they were speaking with, the conversation became much clearer.โ
โI definitely think there was more positive than negative today,โ I added.
Dad was looking down at the table. โDad? Donโt you think so?โ
He looked up at me, smiling. โYes, dear. I do.โ He sighed, straightening his posture. โAnd I owe you thanks, Marid. A move like this is certainly progress, not just for the palace, but for the countryโand it was a very good idea.โ
โI will pass along your thanks to my father. He put the idea in my head years ago.โ
Dad grimaced. โThen I also owe you an apology.โ He tapped his finger on the table, collecting his thoughts. โPlease tell your parents they neednโt stay away. Just because we disagreed on methods doesnโt meanโโ
Marid raised his hand. โSay no more, Your Majesty. My father has said on more than one occasion that he stepped over the line. I will urge him to call. Soon.โ
Dad smiled. โIโd like that.โ โMe, too,โ Mom added.
โAnd you are welcome to visit as often as you like,โ I added. โEspecially if you have any more thoughts on how to reach our people.โ
Maridโs face was triumphant. โOh, I have plenty.โ
The following morning I was almost first to the office, beating everyone except for General Leger, who was rooting around rather forcefully in my fatherโs desk drawers.
โGeneral?โ I asked, announcing myself.
He bowed curtly and went back to his search. โSorry. Your father has broken his glasses, and he said there was another pair in his desk. Iโm having no luck at all.โ
His voice was gruff, and he shoved the drawer closed before turning around to scan the shelf behind him.
โGeneral Leger?โ
โHe said they would be here. Are they right in front of me and Iโm missing them?โ
โSir?โ
โOne thing, thatโs all I had to do. I canโt even find a pair of glasses.โ โGeneral?โ
โYes?โ he replied without looking at me. โAre you all right?โ
โOf course.โ He searched and searched, not pausing until I laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.
โYou wouldnโt lie to my father. Please donโt lie to me.โ
He finally looked up from his task, bewilderment in his eyes. โWhen did you get so tall?โ he asked. โAnd so eloquent? I feel like it was just yesterday that your mother was rushing into the room to get us to come watch your first steps.โ He smiled a little. โI donโt know if you know, but Ahren nearly beat you to the punch. But even back then, you werenโt going to let anyone show you up.โ
โYou still havenโt answered my question. Are you okay?โ
He nodded. โI will be. Iโve never been good at accepting defeat, even when it was the best thing. Lucyโs actually taking this better than I am, though not by much.โ He squinted. โI assume you know what Iโm talking about.โ
I sighed. โI do. But only barely. Iโm embarrassed to admit Iโve been so focused on myself I didnโt realize how much youโd struggled. I wish Iโd been more sensitive about all this.โ
โDonโt blame yourself. We donโt live in the palace, and not having a family isnโt something we willingly chat about. Besides, thereโs nothing anyone can do about it.โ
โNothing?โ
โLike I said, weโre accepting defeat. In the beginning we thought we had so much time, and when we tried to get help, it just kept falling through. Lucy canโt take it anymore.โ He paused, swallowing before he gave me a weak smile. โI hope Iโve done right by you. As an official, as a friend. Youโre the closest Iโll ever have to a daughter, so that matters to me.โ
I found myself near tears, thinking of how Iโd called him a backup parent not that long ago. โYou have. Of course you have. And not just by me but by every other child in this palace you helped raise.โ
He squinted.
โMr. Woodwork had a broken leg when Kile was ready to learn to ride a bike. I remember you running behind him on the gravel in front of the palace until he finally figured out how to balance.โ
General Leger nodded, the ghost of a grin on his face. โThatโs true. I did that.โ
โAnd Mom and Dad were in New Asia when Kaden lost his first tooth, right? Miss Lucy was the one who helped him get it out. And she taught Josie how to put on eyeliner. Donโt you remember how she bragged about it for weeks?โ
โWhat I remember is Marlee telling her to wipe it off,โ he said, his spirits rising.
โAnd you taught Ahren and Kaden how to handle a saber. Kaden recently suggested a duel, and the first thing I thought of was how he would have won hands down thanks to you.โ
General Leger watched me. โI treasure those memories. I do. Iโd defend all of you to my last breath. Even if I wasnโt essentially paid to.โ
I giggled. โI know. Which is why thereโs no one else Iโd trust with my life.โ I reached out for his hand. โPlease take the day off. No oneโs going to invade today, and if they do, Iโll call you,โ I added quickly when I could see he was going to protest. โGo spend time with Miss Lucy. Remind her of every good thing youโve been to each other, and remind her of everything youโve been to us. I know itโs not a reasonable substitute, but do it all the same.โ
โI havenโt found the glasses yet.โ
โIโm sure heโs left them in the parlor. Iโll take care of it. You go.โ
He gripped my hand one last time before letting it go and dropping into a bow. โYes, Your Highness.โ
I watched him leave, leaning against the desk as I considered the general and Miss Lucy and their life together. Theyโd faced so much sadness, so much disappointment, and yet he still showed up every day, ready to serve. So did Miss Lucy. It was a strange thing to measure them beside my parents, whose lives had seemed to fall into place perfectly.
I was surrounded by examples of how love, real love, could make you less bothered by your circumstances, whether it was facing the greatest disappointment of your life or shouldering the weight of a country. And suddenly, for the life of me, I couldnโt remember why Iโd been so afraid of it.
I mentally thumbed through my list of suitors. Kileโs sweetness, Foxโs enthusiasm, Henriโs joy . . . these were all things that drew me in. But, beyond that, was there something beautiful and lasting?
I still didnโt know. But finding out no longer looked so frightening.
I shook the thought away for the moment and headed into the parlor. Sure enough, Dadโs glasses were sitting, unfolded and upside down, on a pile of books. I carried them toward his room, still wondering about the future. In an effort to keep from waking Mom, in case she was sleeping, I knocked on the door to his personal study.
โYes?โ he called.
I walked in to find Dad at his desk, squinting at some papers.
โI found these,โ I said, holding up his glasses and wiggling them between my fingers.
โAh! Youโre a lifesaver. Whereโs Aspen?โ he asked, happily taking the glasses and popping them on his face.
โI told him to take the day off. He seemed a little down.โ Dadโs head snapped up. โWas he? I didnโt notice.โ
โYes. He, and I think maybe Miss Lucy, are having a bad day.โ At the mention of her name, he seemed to understand.
โWell, now I feel awful for not saying something.โ He leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his temple.
โHave you been sleeping much?โ I asked, fiddling with a paperweight.
He smiled. โIโm trying, honey, really. But if your mom makes so much as a peep, Iโm instantly awake, and I end up watching her for an hour before Iโm calm enough to sleep again. That heart attack sneaked up on us. If anything, Iโd have expected for something to happen to me.โ
I nodded. So many times recently Iโd found myself watching him, wondering if he was okay. But Mom? She blindsided us all.
โYour mom keeps talking about going on theย Reportย tomorrow like itโs some sign of things getting back to normal. As if, since she can do that, I should go back to work. And I know the second I go back to work, she will, too. Iโm not saying I want her to sit around and twiddle her thumbs, but the thought of her going back to being the queen, all day, every day . . . I donโt know how to take it.โ
He rubbed his eyes and gave me a humorless smile. โAnd the truth is, itโs been nice to pause, take a breath. I donโt think I realized how hard Iโd been running until I had to stop.โ He looked up at me. โI canโt remember the last time I had ten undisturbed hours with my wife. Sheโs got these pretty little laugh lines by her eyes.โ
I smiled. โWell, you tell a lot of horrible jokes, Dad.โ
He nodded. โWhat can I say? Iโm a man of many talents. But thatโs almost as hard to take: when she goes back to being queen, I need to go back to being king. And I donโt know when Iโll get another week like this, where itโs just her and me.โ
โSo, what if she didnโt?โ
He squinted. โWhat do you mean?โ
โWell . . .โ It had been circulating in my head since the town hall meeting yesterday. Iโd probably never be able to help all my people, but I could reach a few. That thought thrilled me more than I imagined possible. And, at the very least, I could help my parents, which recently started feeling like a monumental accomplishment. Still, as the words came out, I knew they were pure insanity. โWhat if she wasnโt queen anymore? What if I was?โ
Dad stilled, staring at me in disbelief.
โI donโt mean it as an insult,โ I stammered. โI know youโre fully able to lead . . . but youโre right. Momโs going to want to go back to the complete role of being a queen. If I was queen, sheโd have to do something else.โ
His eyes widened as if he hadnโt considered this option.
โAnd if she wasnโt queen and you werenโt king, and this time it happened to be while she wasnโt recovering from a heart attack, maybe you could do
more than sit around. Maybe you could travel or something.โ He blinked, astonished at the possibility.
โWe could do it this week even. I can have a coronation dress made, Lady Brice and Neena can organize everything, and you know General Leger would make sure the entire event was safe. You wouldnโt have to worry about a thing.โ
He swallowed, looking away. โPlease, Dad, I donโt mean it as an insult. I
โโ
He held up a hand, and I silenced myself, stunned to see tears in his eyes
when he turned back to me. โIโm not insulted,โ he answered gruffly before clearing his throat. โIโm just so proud of you.โ
I smiled. โSo . . . youโll let me ascend?โ
โYouโll have a difficult time,โ he said seriously. โThe people are restless.โ โI know. Iโm not scared. Well, notย thatย scared.โ
We shared a laugh. โYouโll be wonderful.โ
I shrugged. โIโm no you. And Iโm definitely no Mom. But I can do this. I have help, and Iโll still have the both of you. And between all of us, Iโll probably come out looking like a decent queen.โ
He shook his head. โYou are more than decent, Eadlyn. Maybe I havenโt told you enough, but youโre an extraordinary young woman. Bright and funny and capable. What a privilege it will be to be your subject.โ His words were so genuine that I found myself blinking back tears.
I didnโt realize how much his opinion of my actions mattered until that moment. I should have, though, considering how many steps Iโd taken at his suggestion. It meant the world that he approved of ones I was taking on my own.
He took a deep breath. โOkay, then.โ Standing, he walked around the table and slid his signet ring off his ring finger and onto the middle finger of my hand. His eyes, the clearest Iโd seen them in days, stared deeply into mine. โThat looks rather nice on you.โ
I tilted my head. โNearly everything does.โ