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Chapter no 23

These Hollow Vows (These Hollow Vows, 1)

Iโ€™M IN A LARGE FOUR-POSTER BEDย in a room I donโ€™t recognize. The curtains are drawn and the room is dark, but as my eyes adjust, I see Finn sitting in an upholstered chair on the opposite side of the room, his wolves on either side of him.

I draw a deep breath and painstakingly push myself up. โ€œWhat happened?โ€ My voice is hoarse. I remember the fire. Going after Jas. The old house that couldnโ€™t have been there because it was burned down when I was eight. It had all looked so real. Judging by the rawness in my throat, the fire certainly had been.

I sweep aside blankets to look down at my legs, prepared to see bandages, burns, or worse, but thereโ€™s no sign of injury. I shake my head, trying to weed out illusion from reality.

โ€œThe Sluagh lured you into the woods by the Golden Military burial grounds.โ€

I swallow past the burn in my throat. โ€œHow?โ€

โ€œMind games. Illusions,โ€ he says. He closes the book I hadnโ€™t noticed on his lap and tucks it under an arm as he stands. โ€œThey tap into your worst memories and trap you inside them.โ€ He lights a candle on the bedside table and studies me as I study him. His dark skin looks paler than Iโ€™ve ever seen it, and as he makes his way back to the chair, I notice that heโ€™s limping.

Did he get hurt rescuing me? Somehow I know he wouldnโ€™t want me to ask. โ€œHow long was I out?โ€

โ€œA full day. Pretha healed you as best she could, and then we brought in a true healer to do the rest. Your leg was broken and you were covered in burnsโ€”mostly superficial, thank the gods. That level of magic is taxing for a human, so the healer put you into a deep sleep to help you recover.โ€

Pretha healed me, not him. Does he have no magic or does he just choose to let others do the work for him? For someone who seems to hold so much sway over the magical creatures around him, I canโ€™t imagine him having no abilities of his own.

โ€œHowโ€™d you find me?โ€

โ€œDara and Luna sensed you were in trouble. They led me to you.โ€

I nod, as if this all makes perfect sense. As if running into monsters who can recreate my worst memories is something that happens every day, as if itโ€™s totally normal to have a pair of wolves acting as my guardian angels.

โ€œYouโ€™re lucky. A few more minutes, andโ€”โ€

โ€œI know,โ€ I blurt, cutting him off. I donโ€™t want to hear the rest. I know

what would have happened. Momโ€™s healer friend may have taken away the burns nine years ago, but he hadnโ€™t erased the memory of the flames licking my skin or the smoke in my lungs. I know all too well how it feels to be dying in a fire. I shake my head again. โ€œBut . . . It wasnโ€™t real? Or was it?โ€

โ€œThe Sluaghโ€™s illusion becomes real when you engage with it. The fire

was very real because the Sluagh became the fire when you believed it was. And you ran right into it.โ€

โ€œI heard screaming.โ€

โ€œYour sister?โ€ he asks. โ€œThatโ€™s why you ran into the flames?โ€

I nod. โ€œIt seemed . . . real.โ€ Iโ€™m glad Iโ€™m still in bed, lying against pillows, but my hands tremble nevertheless. โ€œSo the fire was real, but she wasnโ€™t?โ€

โ€œThere was no one else in the forest with you. When we chased away the Sluagh, you were alone.โ€

โ€œMy satchel?โ€ I ask, moving to stand.

โ€œStay where you are.โ€ He bends to get something from under his chair.

When he returns to the bed, he places my satchel gently in my lap. โ€œI warned you not to use that mirror.โ€

โ€œYou did.โ€ I lift my chin, but Iโ€™m not feeling very confident in my decisions now. The mirror tricked me into going to the cemetery. It led me right to the Sluaghโ€™s trap.

โ€œYou canโ€™t trust it,โ€ he says.

โ€œI know,โ€ I grit out. Though I donโ€™t. Not really. It seems to work

sometimes, but obviously not always. It showed my mother alive and well and showed her as a corpse in some sort of tomb. Both cannot be true.

โ€œThen why were you out there?โ€ He holds my gaze and waits. โ€œWhat were you looking for?โ€

โ€œNothing. It . . . it doesnโ€™t matter.โ€ I look away. Iโ€™ve proved myself to be a careless, human fool, and part of me wishes he would leave so I could

hide under the blankets. Another part of me would cry out if he walked away.ย He saved my life. Again.

โ€œThe mirror hasnโ€™t worked properly in years,โ€ Finn says. โ€œIt was created eons ago, when the Seelie and Unseelie rulers had an alliance. They made several magical items with their combined powers and divvied them up between the courts as a show of good faith. But the magic was corrupted when the Seelie Court stole it for themselves.โ€

โ€œIt works sometimes,โ€ I say, sounding like a petulant child.

He shakes his head. โ€œYou can still ask it to show you someone or

something, but you canโ€™t trust what you see. Corrupted magic is dangerous. The things it shows you can lure you into danger.โ€

โ€œMaybe you couldโ€™ve mentioned that sooner?โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t realize thatย Donโ€™t use itย was a complicated order.โ€ He sighs and softens his tone. โ€œA mirror like that is dangerous for someone like you.โ€

I roll my eyes. โ€œA human?โ€

โ€œNo. Someone with so much hope in her heart.โ€

So much hope?ย Does he not know me at all? Iโ€™m the least hopeful person I know.

Then suddenly Iโ€™m aware of where I am. In a bed. In his house. โ€œIs thisย your . . .ย room?โ€ I almost sayย bedย but catch myself. Somehow thatโ€™s even more embarrassing.

โ€œYes. It was the easiest place to watch over you, and the bed is big

enough to give the healer room to work. But now that youโ€™re awake and more or less healed, I can get you moved to the spare room.โ€

Why is he being so kind to me? I think he hates me half the time, and the other half . . . I donโ€™t like to think about what I feel between us then. โ€œI need to get back to the palace.โ€ I push myself out of bed, and the room spins. I sit down again and fall back onto my pillows.

โ€œStay put,โ€ Finn says. โ€œYouโ€™re healed, but youโ€™ll be weak for a few days.โ€

โ€œI canโ€™t just disappear. Theyโ€™ll come looking for me.โ€ โ€œPretha has taken care of it.โ€

I donโ€™t like this. I could miss something important and make the queen angry. What if she wonโ€™t let me remain at the palace and makes me go home before Iโ€™ve gotten the final artifacts for Mordeus?

โ€œAs yourย tutor,โ€ Finn explains, โ€œshe was able to get permission to take you away from the palace for a few days of training. You are currently visiting a city to the south thatโ€™s known for their musical performances.โ€

โ€œOh.โ€ I sag into the pillows. I really am very tired, and the idea of returning to the palace and pretending Iโ€™m well? I donโ€™t think I could pull it off just yet. โ€œShe told me about your brother. Vexius? Iโ€™m . . . Iโ€™m sorry.โ€

He nods, but his eyes avoid mine. โ€œMe too.โ€

What was it Pretha said when Finn was commanding her to heal me?

Stop making the same self-righteous mistakes that made me a widow.ย I want to know what she meant, but I know Finn wonโ€™t answer.

โ€œDo you have any other siblings?โ€

โ€œNone I care to claim.โ€ He rolls his shoulders back as if suddenly realizing how stiff he is from hours of sleeping in the chair. โ€œRest, Princess,โ€ he says. โ€œAll your problems will still be here tomorrow.โ€

I donโ€™t want to listen like an obedient pup, but I settle into my pillows anyway and feel my eyes drifting closed.

โ€œYou must be hungry. Iโ€™ll call for a tray.โ€

โ€œFinn?โ€ He stops at the door and turns. โ€œThank you. For saving me.

Again.โ€

His throat bobs as he swallows. โ€œI hope that whatever you were looking for was worth it.โ€ His gaze dips to the satchel in my lap. โ€œDonโ€™t trust that mirror.โ€

 

 

โ€œAny leads on the Grimoricon?โ€ Finn asks the next morning. Weโ€™re in the library, and his wolves are sleeping on the floor on either side of himโ€”

where they seem to prefer to stay.

Considering that he just saved me from the trouble I got into by following the mirror, I donโ€™t want to tell him about the library it showed me. โ€œNot really. Do you have any ideas?โ€

โ€œThe Grimoricon scares the queen, so I donโ€™t think sheโ€™d keep it close to her. My sources tell me itโ€™s never been at the Golden Palace.โ€

Great.ย โ€œWell, tell yourย sourcesย that it would be helpful if they could be more specific.โ€

He grunts. โ€œIโ€™ll do that.โ€

Iโ€™m feeling well enough to be playing with my power, though Finn wonโ€™t let me do much. So far all Iโ€™ve done is learn to wrap items in shadow so I

can hide them on myself. I want to practice turning others to shadow, but Finn said thatโ€™s too draining, so Iโ€™ve been working up to bigger and bigger objects. I sheath a sword at my side and wrap it in shadow before looking at Finn.

โ€œWell done,โ€ he says, but he doesnโ€™t sound impressed. Nothing Iโ€™ve done with my magic impresses the shadow prince. Not that I care. โ€œHowโ€™s the boy treating you? Does his schedule allow him time to woo you?โ€

I frown. โ€œWhat boy?โ€

โ€œPrince Ronan, the golden childโ€”I believe you call himย Sebastian?โ€

I snort. โ€œWhy would you call Sebastian aย boy?ย Heโ€™s twenty-one.โ€ Finn ignores me, but I consider my own question. โ€œHow old areย you?โ€

โ€œOlder than he is.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s not an answer.โ€

He absently scratches the head of a sleeping wolf. โ€œOld enough that I fought in the Great Fae War and young enough that I donโ€™t remember a time that our courts werenโ€™t determined to destroy each other.โ€

That puts him somewhere between fifty and five-hundred years old. Also not an answer, but more information than I had before. I tilt my head to the side and study him. Heโ€™s obviously older than Sebastian, but he looks the

same age. Whereas Arya and Mordeus look older. If they were human, Iโ€™d guess theyโ€™d be my motherโ€™s age. Then thereโ€™s Lark, who seems to be aging like a human child. โ€œHow does aging work with the fae anyway?โ€

He sighs. โ€œIt depends on the race. Some have very short life spans. Most sprites, for example, live less than five years. Other fae can live for thousands of years.โ€

Why must he always be so obtuse? โ€œIโ€™m asking about fae like you, and you know it.โ€ When he seems reluctant to answer, I say, โ€œIf you donโ€™t

answer, Iโ€™ll just have Sebastian tell me.โ€

โ€œThe elven fae,ย like me,โ€ he says, โ€œtypically age much like humans until puberty, then age significantly slower after that. Several hundred years between us might look like a decade to your human eyes.โ€

โ€œTypically? When do you age in a nontypical way?โ€

He shrugs. โ€œArya, for example, is closer to my age than to Mordeusโ€™s.โ€ โ€œJalek said sheโ€™s dying. Thatโ€™s why she looks so much older?โ€

โ€œItโ€™s your turn to answer questions,โ€ he says. โ€œHowโ€™s the golden prince treating you?โ€

โ€œSebastianย is fine,โ€ I say. I frown, realizing I donโ€™t know much about how he spends his time. โ€œItโ€™s true heโ€™s busy, but if you think Iโ€™m going to tell you something that can be used against him, you donโ€™t know me at all.โ€

โ€œOh, I already know youโ€™ll protect him,โ€ he says, his silver eyes narrowing. โ€œYouโ€™ve made that abundantly clear. To be fair, heโ€™s been protecting you too.โ€ He nods at my wrist, where my scar remains glamoured away. It used to startle me to see it missing, but I forget about it most of the time now.

โ€œHow is hiding my scar protecting me?โ€

He stiffens, then shakes his head. โ€œI meant the Barghest attack.โ€ But did he?

โ€œHas he gotten you to change your mind about becoming his queen yet?โ€ โ€œNo.ย Why do you assume I will?โ€

โ€œBecause youโ€™re in love with him.โ€

โ€œWhat does one have to do with the other?โ€ I form a soft ball of shadow in my hand and throw it at his chest.

He grabs it and holds it in the palm of his hand before setting it spinning. โ€œTypically, when you love someone like that, you find a way to be with them.โ€

โ€œOnce he realizes that Iโ€™ve been stealing from him, Iโ€™m pretty sure heโ€™s not going to want me anyway.โ€

The spinning ball of shadow disintegrates. โ€œAh. So the truth is revealed.

Itโ€™s not that you donโ€™t want to be with him. Itโ€™s that you think he canโ€™t forgive you for what youโ€™re doing to save your sister.โ€

โ€œWhy are you pushing this? Do youย wantย me to be his queen?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t want any surprises,โ€ he bites out, standing and heading to the door. โ€œPretha will escort you back to the palace.โ€

โ€œWhy donโ€™t you ever use your magic?โ€ I blurt before he can leave.

He turns slowly back to me and cocks his head to the side, making one of those dark curls fall in his eyes. โ€œI use my magic.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve never seen it.โ€

โ€œMy gifts are not meant for your entertainment, Princess.โ€

I roll my eyes. I understand his response for what it isโ€”an evasion. Finn has no desire to reveal why he doesnโ€™t use his powers. And why would he?

If, for some reason, he truly isnโ€™t able to use them, that would be an incredible weakness. One that could get him killed if his enemies found out.

I still canโ€™t help but think it has something to do with his fatherโ€™s crown and the wrong male ruling the Court of the Moon.

โ€œFinn, you deserve to be on that throne. Once I find my sister and get her home safely, Iโ€™d like to help you find your fatherโ€™s crown.โ€

He steps back, eyes flashing. He opens his mouth, and I think heโ€™s going to scold me, but he snaps it shut again, then turns on his heel and storms from the library.

His wolves rise from where they were sleeping, and I swear thereโ€™s disgust in their eyes as they look at me before following their master.

I sink into a chair and swallow back tears. I want to help, but they donโ€™t trust me enough to let me. Sure, Iโ€™m gathering the relics that will

supposedly help his kingdom in the long run, but Iโ€™m being kept in the dark about so much, I donโ€™t even understand how that will help.

I pull out the mirror and stare at my reflection. Iโ€™ve known that the crown was missing, so why did I never think to ask the mirror?

Because you canโ€™t trust it.

But sometimes itโ€™s right. And maybe this will be one of those times.

โ€œShow me King Oberonโ€™s crown,โ€ I say softly. But the image in the glass doesnโ€™t change, and no matter how many times I ask, I remain staring at my own reflection.

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