13
MEGAN
I t’s funny. I thought resonance would solve all my problems. I thought once I resonated, I’d be so
bowled over with everything that all my anxieties would go away. I’d be so blown away with lust for
my mate and happiness with the pregnancy that I’d finally feel like part of the tribe and I could stop
worrying over everything.
Hasn’t happened.
I feel the same this morning as I did yesterday morning, but now everything in my unstable world has changed again.
I head back to my cave after filling a basket with leather cord. I chatted with Josie a bit, but her enthusiasm and rosy view of my new mating just makes me feel worse. Why aren’t I completely in love with Cashol overnight? She thinks I am, no matter that I hint otherwise. She still thinks resonance will solve everything.
Maybe it will in time, but I still feel the need to show I can be a good, hard worker. So…macramé it is.
When I get back to my new cave, Cashol is nowhere to be seen. There’s some new stuff in baskets, a plate of food, and a tea pouch hanging over the coals of the fire, but Cashol isn’t here. I glance back outside into the main cave and don’t see him anywhere, so I sit down to eat. Maybe he’ll be back soon.
But as time passes and Cashol doesn’t return, I feel…hurt. Stupid. Why did I think he’d want to spend the day with me? I tie a few cords to the bone macramé ring, loop it onto my big toe, and start to braid the belt I’ve decided to make for my new mate. His is faded and worn, and I noticed it slung low on his hips and he had to hitch it up more than once. A new belt would look good on him, and this is something I can do. So I weave the leather cords, letting my mind wander, and wonder what I did wrong.
He’d hinted that he wanted to spend time with me today, but the moment he had the chance, he left. Is it… me? Did I do something wrong? Am I annoying to be around? I think of last night, and how incredibly hot the sex was. How despite the initial “shyness” of my mate, we were all over each other until dawn. Once resonance was fulfilled, I thought maybe that’d be the end of it, that I wouldn’t be all that interested in another round, but I find myself thinking about his feet, and his big hands, and his goofy smile that stretches his narrow
face.
Cashol is really cute.
Just thinking about him makes me ache. I really want this to work. Maybe I was too pushy last night?
Maybe I need to give him space? He’s been living on his own for a long time. Maybe having me around is going to be hard for him. That…sucks. If he needs time, I need to give it to him, though.
As I weave the leather cords, I come up with a plan. It’s similar to the current plan of “work hard and make everyone in the cave like me” plan. With Cashol, I’ll be the same. I’ll give him space and stay busy. I’ll be so agreeable and such a good homemaker he’ll realize that it’s nice to be around me. That he doesn’t have to run off at dawn—I’ll give him space, even if I don’t want to.
And then maybe all of this will work out. I hope.
CASHOL
By the time I’ve set my last trap, I have a plan in place.
I am going to have to seduce my mate. Not in the furs—it is clear we are very compatible when it comes to that. But her words to Jo-see still ring in my ears. She does not know if she is happy. She does not feel secure.
As her mate, it is my job to ensure that she is both. And I want her to fall in love with me. I want her to give me her heart. So I must be the most attentive male ever. I must shower her with affection, make her laugh and blush. I should spend every moment I can with her, and that means no long hunting trips.
None of this is a hardship, truly. Already I miss her. I wonder if she has spent the day with Jo-see and the other females, laughing and enjoying herself, or if she misses me? Has she thought about me at all?
Has she thought about mating again?
Because I have thought about it. A lot. Coming together with her was incredible in all ways. I rub my mouth, hungry for another taste of her…but Vektal was right. I pushed too hard and did not realize she was wanting to mate to ensure her safety here. I cannot push her into more matings. They must be her idea. I will simply wait for her to approach me, then. Meh-gan is a bold enough female—last night was evidence of that— and so if she wishes to mate, she will simply slow me.
I just have to wait for her signal.
Resolved, I return to the cave, my traps laid and my leather boots wet from the snow. It is late enough that I have missed the evening meal, but next time I will not have to take quite so long when I go out. Perhaps Meh-gan will want to check traps with me? I like the thought of spending the day with her, seeing her nose grow pink with cold as we trek through the snow.
Perhaps we will stop at a hunter cave and she will let me lick her cunt until she tries to pull my horns off again. I grin to myself at the thought. Last night, ahhhh. Last night was the best night of my life.
I want so many more nights like last night.
I do not see my mate as I cut through the main cavern, so I bound through, moving past cookfires and heading straight for my cave. The privacy screen is up and I hesitate for a moment. Do I go inside? Or do I leave it as it is? After a pause, I push my way in, deciding to chance it.
Meh-gan is inside, knotting and weaving one of her leather projects. She looks up as I enter, a beaming smile on her face. “Hey, you.”
“Hello, pretty one. Did you have a good day?”
“It was great,” she says enthusiastically. “I got so much done. It was nice and quiet in here and I was able to work undisturbed.”
I keep smiling, but her answer is…distressing. She got so much done because I was gone? That is not the answer I wished to hear. But I want her to feel as if she is free to do as she chooses. “I am glad. I set down a bunch of traps, myself.” I strip off my wet boots and spread them on stones near the fire. “It was a good day to go hunting. Nice weather.”
“Very nice weather,” she agrees, and then we both fall silent again.
This is not how I imagined talking to my mate when I returned. I hoped to be greeted with enthusiastic mouth-matings, declarations of how much she missed me…and instead, we are speaking of the weather.
I watch as her nimble fingers work, trying to think of something to say. Nothing comes to mind, and I sit in silence, wishing I could think of easy words to say to her. Why is it I can think of things when I wish to flirt, but the moment she becomes my mate, my mind goes blank? “Would you like to go hunting with me in the morning?” I blurt out.
She pauses, thinking, and looks over at me. “You want me to go hunting with you?”
“Yes. It would be a good opportunity for you to learn.” She seems so very eager to learn everything lately.
Meh-gan smiles, but it seems more polite than enthusiastic. “Of course I’d love to go. Thank you for inviting me.”
She is nice…and yet she feels remote. I do not know what to make of it, and I think of her conversation with Jo-see.
I won’t be safe here until I’m pregnant.
Now that she is pregnant, is she…tired of me? I smack my fist against my brow, frustrated with myself. I should have wooed her like Vektal said, not jump into the furs at the first opportunity. I have messed
everything up.
I must somehow slow everything down.
I look around the small cave. I see the furs, neatly made, and it looks like far too small a space to share with someone if I am to be going “slow.” There is enough room for both of us, but I know I will end up touching her. I will reach for her soft curves and her glorious teats, I will brush against her pale skin and then I will be utterly lost. There is a bundle of furs in the back of the cave, and I leap to my feet and grab them.
Separate furs. That is how we slow things down.
Proud of myself for thinking of it, I gesture at the furs happily. “Look. We have enough for two sets. That means we do not have to share.”
She blinks at it for a moment, and then puts another one of those blank smiles on her face. “Great.”
I am not sure if she is pleased, or sad. It is so hard to tell with her, because she gives me the same polite smile for everything.
