A clap of thunder jolts me awake.
I sit up, blinking in the darkness that surrounds me. The ship shakes violently, nearly tipping me from the cot. Rain pelts the porthole, the sound echoing off the glass.
I sit there, stunned by how quickly the weather turned. Our second day at sea had been eerily peaceful, dragging on as I read to Kai and milled about the deck.
Another sharp turn of the ship has my books toppling to the floor with a soft thud I hardly hear over the roll of thunder. Another crack of lightning follows a beat after, illuminating the room with a fleeting flash of light. I can feel each angry wave against the boat, hear the roar of rushing water so close beyond these wooden walls.
Muffled shouts echo from the main deck. I stand, legs shaking atop the unsteady floor. The ship dips into a crashing wave, pitching me forward before I can find my footing. I collide with the wall, bracing my arms against it until I trust myself to take another step.
Managing to stumble toward the door, I reach for the handle, fingers slipping as I’m flung forward once again. The dresser creaks behind me, mimicking each chilling groan from the ship.
When I finally throw open the door, I screech at the figure standing behind it.
“Kai!” I’m forced to yell over the storm despite my relief at seeing him. “What is—”
My eyes fall to the dark shadow spilling slowly down the hallway. It takes me a moment to realize what it is I’m looking at. And what it means.
Water.
The waves are crashing over the ship, readying to swallow us all—
His hands are suddenly on my hips, pushing me back. “You need to stay in this room!”
Thunder growls all around us, shaking the very floors we stand on. Kai is kicking the door shut, closing us in this room, this watery grave. I shake my head at him, at the feel of panic rising up my throat. “No. No, I can’t be locked in here, Kai! Not now!”
A crack of lightning shadows his stern features. He cups my face, holding me steady when the ship lurches. “Do you trust me?”
A trickle of water seeps beneath the door. Like Death’s cold finger, it reaches for me.
“Pae?”
His shout forces my gaze back to him. I nod shakily. “I do. I did even when I shouldn’t have.”
“I know the feeling.” He presses his forehead to mine, breathing soft words across my skin. “So I need you to stay in this room with me until we are told otherwise.”
My pounding heart drowns out every crashing wave, every desperate shout from the crew who wrestles them. The cabin seems to close in on me, growing smaller with the echoing thought that I can no longer leave it. The sea rages all around me, and yet it may be my own claustrophobia that drags me into death.
The room is growing smaller, the ocean yawning larger. I’m going to suffocate in this cabin before the water even rushes into my lungs.
My lungs.
They can’t seem to find air. I’m choking on a different type of sea. It’s this shallow space, this ever-shrinking cabin come to crush me.
My knees buckle beneath me before I’m sinking to the floor. Ears ringing, I can barely hear Kai’s shouted concern behind me. He’s holding my crumpled body against his as we rock back and forth with the churning waves.
Something cold laps against my leg. Hazily, I look down to find Death’s icy finger grazing my skin. A caress and reunion all at once. He’s found me once again. The last time we met he brushed sandy fingers against my cheek in the Scorches. Now, it’s the raging sea he commands to drag me back to him.
A muffled shout against my ear has me stirring. I place a palm in the puddle of water as if to shake Death’s hand. Commend him for his resilience.
“Pae!”
Lightning flashes across the room at the same moment my name rings out into it. His head is tucked into my shoulder, breath warm against the bare skin there. “We are going to be fine,” he reassures sternly. “You’ve survived the Scorches more than once. Now you’ll do the same for the Shallows.”
I nod, forcing my breath to slow. We sit on the floor, holding each other while the boat tries to throw us apart. I cling to him, every finger fisted into his crumpled shirt. He strokes my hair, whispers words of comfort.
My anchor in the storm.
“I have something for you,” he murmurs.
Still struggling to swallow my panic, I croak, “A distraction, I hope.”
“Something like that.” He unwraps an arm from me, never fully letting me go as he struggles to shrug something from his shoulders. It’s only when he sets the pack atop the damp floor that I notice it for the first time. Reaching inside, he pulls out a thinly wrapped sphere.
I don’t even have to ask what it is. I know that shape. Know that smell.
Honey.
Tears prick my eyes. “You brought that from Ilya?”
Another streak of lightning allows me to see the slight smile gracing his features. “Just for you.”
Kai lets me do the honors of unraveling the sweet dough. The honey coating my fingers has a smile tipping my lips. I forget every chilling wave that tries to tear the ship apart, every fear lodged deep in my throat. It’s this sticky bun I focus on instead, and the memory of every one I’ve shared before.
My eyes flutter shut when I finally take a bite. This dough holds every happy moment I’ve had in this life, and if I am to die tonight, I want it to be with this honey on my tongue. This reminder of my home—Adena.
“It might be a bit stale by now,” Kai starts softly.
“No,” I choke out. “It’s perfect. That’s exactly how I always ate them. How we always ate them.”
Thunder roars as we sway on the floor with each roll of the ship. I sink my fingers into the sticky bun, pulling it in half. Kai looks surprised when I offer him a piece. “This is for you. Your distraction,” he says firmly.
“I want you to share it with me. Please.” I wave the dough in front of him in that way Adena always used to do. “I don’t know how to eat one of these alone.”
Graciously, he nods in understanding before plucking the piece from between my fingers. I flinch at the echoing shouts that are quickly carried away on the whipping wind. “You deserve a distraction too,” I say as softly as the stormy sea will allow.
He brushes cool knuckles down the side of my cheek. “You are forever my distraction, darling.”
Water pools around my ankles, and yet, I sit here with my head against his chest. We eat this sticky bun on the floor of my cabin, in the middle of a raging sea, and somehow find tranquility in the violence.
As if I’ve found the eye of the storm within him, and he in me.
I wake to a soft pillow beneath my head.
I certainly didn’t put it there. Nor did I lift my body onto the bed last night. But here I lie, snuggled beneath the covers with hands that are clean of honey.
Blinking my tired eyes into focus, I sweep them over the damp floor and the spot we had occupied last night. We sat there for hours, talking over the storm and bracing ourselves against each shuddering wave. I must have dozed off in his arms before they lifted me onto the cot.
Beyond the porthole is a sky of gray, and beneath is a riled sea, likely embittered by this ship still being afloat.
The ship is still afloat.
A relieved smile settles on my lips as I sit up. I’ve survived my first storm on the Shallows. Whether I live to see the next is a worry for another time.
Standing to my feet, I pad across the damp floor and unlatch my trunk. A heap of neatly folded clothes greets me, though I’m quick to rummage through them in search of something comfortable to wear. I settle for a pair of fitted black pants beneath a loose blouse.
Pulling my olive vest on, I run my fingers down the fraying seams and stretched pockets. It feels as though I’ve barely worn the gift since returning to Ilya. Instead, I’ve been shoved into gowns that make me think of Adena and how she can no longer make them, even in death, with those broken fingers.
Dipping my hands into the fresh water basin atop the dresser, I banish the thought from my head with a cool splash across the face. With a slight shiver, I pat my skin dry and—
And my books are on the floor.
“No, no, no,” I murmur, rushing over to collect the delicate stories. The ship still rocks enough to have me struggling with my footing, so I drop to my knees before the waves send me sprawling.
I quickly gather the books into my arm, noting their rippled pages from the seawater. Cursing under my breath, I stand and head for the door. The damp spines stick to my palm as I march out onto the deck and greet the dreary sky above.
Wind whips at my unbound hair, sending silver strands to obscure my vision. I fight to free my gaze, only to stop suddenly at the devastation I see. Large chunks have been torn from the railing where the sea has sunk its icy teeth into the wood. Tangled ropes lie strewn across the deck, littering the floor alongside other miscellaneous debris.
The captain’s bellowed commands ensure that no crew member stands idly. The ship teeters beneath me, and I stumble on legs not accustomed to the sea. The sailors surrounding me sneer at the sight before continuing to stride utterly unfazed across the slippery dock.
I straighten my vest and gather what is left of my dignity as I walk carefully toward an unmarred section of railing. The wind cuts through me, stinging and salty. I lean over the railing, watching the water rush below. Its light blue and green coloring is deceitfully inviting, despite the great depth beneath its surface. And that is precisely how it earned the name Shallows for itself.
Clutching three of the books tightly beneath my arm, I lift one into the air, letting the pages flutter in the wind. It’s not the most ideal way to dry them, but it will certainly be the fastest.
Snickers behind my back tell me that the crew have taken a liking to laughing at my expense. I ignore them, as I’ve done with every haughty Elite I’ve been forced to live alongside, and switch books.
That is when the boat dips into a wave, spraying water across the deck to thoroughly drench me. More laughter fills the air as I stand there, shivering and clutching the last piece of my childhood against a constricting chest.
“Need some help, darling?”
I spin on my heel, nearly tipping over when the ship bucks beneath us. But there he stands, hands shoved into pockets nearly as deep as the dimple peeking out at me. Damn him.
Damn him.
With the way he’s looking at me, I might have just mumbled the words out loud. Nothing and no one has ever devastated me more. Not the sand, the sea, the slow brush of Death’s hand. Because maybe, just maybe, he is the most ruinous thing of them all.
He shrugs off his coat to reveal a fitted black shirt. “Don’t look at me like that.”
Those words seem to stir something within me, a fleeting memory muffled by several glasses of champagne. The fragile thought shatters with the chattering of my teeth. “And h-how am I looking at you?”
His responding grin has blood rushing to my numb cheeks. He steps close, swinging the coat around my shoulders before tugging it closed. I watch his mouth form a response I never get to hear.
“Oi, that was quite the storm last night!”
I barely know the man, and yet, I recognize his voice from across the ship. Turning, I find Torri trudging toward us, long hair knotted at the base of his neck. “But she pulled through,” he continues, running a hand over the chipped railing. “Though, I fear this is only the beginning. The Shallows will not continue to be so kind.”
I clutch my books tightly beneath Kai’s draped coat. If it was kindness the sea showed us last night, I’m not sure I’ll live long enough to see land.
“Cheer up, girl!” The captain laughs at whatever it is he sees on my face. “You only need to last four more days. And then, well, the trip back, but we won’t concern ourselves with that just yet.”
He finds that funny as well and continues his chuckling all the way to the helm. I turn back toward Kai, giving him an exasperated look that never fails to make him smile.
“What was it you were about to say?” I ask, curiosity momentarily grabbing hold of my tongue.
He seems to ponder this as his gaze drifts out over the water. “Nothing I haven’t said before.”
And that is the only answer he offers before extending a hand to me. “Now, put me to work. These books need to dry before you read one to me tonight.”
I huff in amusement before placing one of the damp covers in his awaiting palm. Flipping open to a particularly crinkled page, Kai holds the book into the wind. I do the same, my teeth chattering beside him.
We must look ridiculous, leaning against the rail and holding literature in the air. I almost laugh at the odd picture we paint, but the view of rushing water around us steals my frigid breath away. The horizon stretches in every direction, nothing but a rippling blanket of blue.
“Do you ever wonder if there is anything else out there?” I ask, my words nearly snatched away by the wind’s cold fist.
Kai flips to another page. “Well, other than the myths?” He shrugs. “I’m not sure.”
“The myths?”
His brows lift. “Have you never heard of Astrum? The birthplace of shadows and the death of a great love?” He recites this as though I should know the phrase by heart.
“My father”—I nearly stumble over the word, now knowing the truth and mystery behind it—“didn’t waste his time teaching me myths. In fact, he barely had time to educate me on things that actually do exist,” I finish with a pointed look at the prince.
“Of course. Yet, he had time to read you a story about…” He thumbs through several pages of the book between his fingers. “A horse with fangs and—”
“That’s enough,” I laugh, snatching the book from him.
“Shit, no wonder you’re afraid of horses, Gray.”
I roll my eyes. “You were saying? About Astrum?”
Kai throws me a grin before flipping open another damp book. “Well, many people believe Astrum existed long before Ilya. There, they live in a constant state between dawn and dusk, thanks to the separated lovers—the sun, Solis, and the moon, Luna.” He continues despite the skeptical look I give him. “Shadows are precious there. They are a power that can be stolen.” I startle when he snaps the book shut. “You know what, I bet the captain has a copy.”
A hoarse laugh falls from my mouth. “There’s a book about this?”
Kai’s already set a steady pace toward the captain’s quarters. “Of course there is. Torri likely has one because every sailor does. They are always looking for the city, hoping they can be the first to find it.”
I shake my head at his back. “This is absurd.”
“You live in Ilya, home of Elites, and you think this is absurd?”
I hum in agreement. It is the most I will do to acknowledge that he may be right.
Before pushing through the double doors that lead to our rooms, Kai turns to face me. “It’s called Shadow and Soul.” The corner of his mouth twitches. “And I’m looking forward to hearing you read it tonight.”
