I stare at the shadows clinging to the canopy above me.
Despite the impressive comfort of the bed beneath my back, I can’t seem to let sleep claim me. Thoughts swirl behind my eyes, making it impossible to shut them even as tiredness tugs at my body.
I can think of nothing but my reunion with doom.
My future haunts my present—and it is grim.
I have to endure another set of Trials.
Only, this time, I’ll be facing Death alone. Fear twists in my gut, tugging at the heart I’m not sure will still be beating after this. I nearly died in the Purging Trials, more than once. The thought of willingly stepping back into an awaiting grave has me panicking.
Worse than the imminent danger is the constant reminder of Adena’s death. I may have survived the last set of Trials, but my light did not. My A left me to decorate the sky. And I don’t know how to live, how to survive, without her at my side.
Sweat dampens my brow as panic swells within me. I can’t go back. I can’t lose any more of that warmth Adena planted within me.
What if I’m forced to kill? Coat my hands with more blood?
I don’t know what I’m capable of without Adena’s light to scatter my darkness.
These Trials could ask anything of me. Though, it is fitting that the three B’s I’ll be tested on belonged to the king I killed. Ironic that they have now become the way I will prove myself to rule the kingdom he built—or rather, rebuild it.
I roll over, spitting stray strands of hair from my mouth. My eyes squeeze shut as I attempt to find sleep one last time.
Ten lazy beats of my heart, and I’m crawling out of bed.
My mind aches for a distraction from the deafening thoughts. And my body, tired as it is, itches to move. Or maybe I’m tired of feeling useless, feeling trapped in this life I don’t know how to live. Plagues, I was just beginning to figure out how to live the unfortunate one I had before everything went to shit.
I’m suddenly striding down a dark hall, arms crossed over the thin sleeping shirt I wear. The most I’d done before stepping out of my room was slip on my boots. Changing before this impulsive escapade might have been a good idea, but I’m already nearing the door I know leads to the training yard beyond.
The guards stationed there shift on tired feet at the sight of me, their masks doing nothing to conceal the clear disdain beneath. They know better than to stand in my way, not with the ring that glitters on my finger. So, with my head raised stubbornly high, I stride past and push through the door.
The night is cooler than I’d anticipated, each whisper of wind pebbling the skin on my bare arms. Moonlight pools on the path long worn into the ground. Following it, I lift my gaze to the black sky draped above and speckled with stars. They seem to blink back at me, leaning in to help guide my steps.
The first circle of dirt comes into view, blanketed in shadows. I follow the path, letting it lead me between each training ring. Flickering flame floods the farthest circle of dirt to illuminate a formidable shadow, sharp like the sword he holds. I know who stands within that halo of light.
But when a second figure flickers into focus beside him, I falter.
“… couldn’t sleep, but it seems you can’t either.”
Kitt.
My breath catches.
I would rather not let my betrothed know I came out here to meet his brother.
With that in mind, I crouch low to the ground and creep silently to a ring beside the brothers. Shadows clothe me from sight until I’ve slipped behind the weapons’ rack. Blowing out a breath, I peek through one of the many gnarled holes in this wall of wood, my gaze narrowing on the king and his Enforcer.
“I thought I might find you out here,” Kitt was saying. “It’s good to be back in this training yard with you. Just like old times.”
“If it were really like old times,” Kai muses, “you would be sprawled in the dirt already.”
Kitt laughs, a sound so genuine I nearly startle. It’s as though I’m suddenly back beside that fountain in the gardens, splashing a boyish prince unashamedly. “You think you could still take me, Brother? We haven’t sparred since you found a better partner.”
The tips of my ears burn.
“Come on, Kitt.” The Enforcer’s tone is deceptively casual. “That was during the Purging Trials. Things haven’t been like that for a long while.” Despite knowing the truth of our relationship, Kai’s nonchalance still manages to sting me. “Besides,” he sighs. “You’re the one who’s marrying her.”
And there is that twinge of jealousy.
“It is what needs to be done. You understand that.” Kitt runs a hand through his hair, looking younger beside his brother. “For the kingdom. And for us.”
Kai stifles his scoff. “For us?”
“Yes.” It’s a simple word, yet it holds so much defiance from the king. “I know your relationship with Father was strained. More than strained,” he amends quickly. “I don’t want that for us. What I want is to be brothers again, without orders you detest shoved between us. And with the Ilya I am rebuilding, you won’t need to hunt down Ordinaries anymore.” Knowing his brother more than most, he reassures, “I won’t make you hurt anyone.”
I can’t make out Kai’s face in the flickering torchlight, but I know gratitude paints the planes of it. “Thank you, Brother.”
Kitt nods earnestly, waiting a long moment before speaking again. “But after this bombing at the parade, I’ve been advised to ensure our army is ready for whatever threats may arise. Especially now that our borders have opened. You know how Father grew a bit lax with training over the years.”
“He didn’t believe we would need to fight very many battles,” Kai recalls.
My legs ache from kneeling on the hard ground, but I don’t dare shift this close to the keen Enforcer. I watch as Kitt absentmindedly crushes clumps of dirt beneath his shoe. “Now anything could happen. So I need you to focus your attention on rebuilding our forces and training new recruits.”
“New recruits?” Kai echoes.
I can just make out the smile that transforms the king’s tired face. “I want you to train Ordinaries.”
My heart stalls its rhythmic beat.
“After the bombing,” Kitt continues, “it became clear to me how vulnerable Ordinaries really are in this kingdom—”
“No shit,” I breathe recklessly into the darkness.
“—so I want to offer them the chance to defend themselves.” The king takes a breath. “They will train with you alongside the other Imperials.”
“Are… are you serious?” Kai stumbles over the string of words, holding in his shocked laugh. “Don’t mess with me, Kitty.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Kitt’s chuckle seems to light the darkness. “And I already have some Ordinaries for you. The few we captured from the Bowl after that third Trial.”
Shock sweeps over me.
He didn’t kill them.
Kai echoes my surprise. “They are still in the dungeons?”
“I wasn’t sure what to do with them,” Kitt says, sounding as though there is a shrug lodged in his throat. “But after that bombing, it seems time they are freed and trained.”
The Enforcer shakes his head. “You’re really going to do this? Let them go after what happened?”
“Huh.” Kitt huffs out a dull laugh. “I suppose I am.”
Clapping a hand on his brother’s shoulder, Kai murmurs, “I’m proud of you. And I’m honored to help rebuild and protect this kingdom by your side.”
They look at each other, seemingly untouched since the day I met them. In this moment, their bond resembles the one I thought I had broken. And the realization that they are stronger than my vengeance makes me smile.
“You and me, Brother.” Kitt takes a slow step back. “Always.”
When he strides back onto the path, I’m forced to press my back against the weapons’ rack and silently beg that shadows cloak me from the corner of his sight. I don’t breathe as my betrothed walks past, not even when Kai’s words have him halting.
“Try to get some sleep.”
Kitt flashes his Enforcer a smile. “You first, Kai Pie.”
I wait there until long after the king has vanished and my heartbeat has slowed. Standing on sore legs, I watch Kai rotate a sword in his hand, the motion fluid and precise. His back is to me, bare and slithering with strands of darkness as I step to the ring’s edge. When he turns to face me, I’m slightly offended by the lack of surprise at my presence.
“Couldn’t sleep without me?” he muses, sword glinting in the flickering light.
I frown. “How did you know I was here?”
“I knew you couldn’t stay away from me for much longer.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” My arms cross over the thin shirt I’m suddenly all too aware of. “How did you know?”
He gives me an unsure tilt of his head. “I guess I can sense you, in a way. It sounds odd, but the darkness helps me focus. Everything is heightened.” Kai waves a hand, as if to slash through the words he’s just spoken. “I just knew.”
“Hmm. Yet another perk of being Elite,” I say, my tone bittersweet.
He shakes his head. “Well, I’m assuming you heard everything, then?”
“I did. Thought it best he didn’t see me out here with you.” My foot taps a steady beat atop the dirt. “This is good, right? I thought he had killed those Ordinaries from the Bowl.”
Kai runs a hand through his tousled hair. “It seems good. He seems good. Wanting to train Ordinaries is not something I expected from him.”
I nod distantly, my mind a mess of fractured pieces. Lost among my thoughts, I nearly miss Kai’s sly words. “Did the burning desire to see me wake you?”
I slowly steal the space between us, stepping quietly into the ring. My smile is sharp. “No. But the sudden urge to hit you did.”
He looms over me, his bare chest nearly brushing mine. “If you want to put your hands on me, just say that.”
A bead of water falls from the dark sky, splattering my bare shoulder. He watches it roll down my skin before swiping it away with his thumb. His rough palm grazes my arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind.
I lift a hand, my fingers boldly skimming across his stomach. This seems to startle him enough to suck in a quick breath, and the sound has a satisfied smile curling my lips. The tips of my fingers trail higher, tracing every dip and groove of muscle. He seems to have stopped breathing.
My eyes lift to his, and whatever it is he sees within them has the Enforcer looking at me as though I’ve already become his queen. And some possessive part of myself aches to command him to never look away.
My touch travels lazily up his chest, fingers outlining the swirling tattoo etched above his pounding heart. The sky cries steadily above, speckling us with water. But Kai barely seems to notice, his attention fully on my hand now twining around his neck.
His sword clatters to the ground. Strong arms wrap suddenly around my waist before another drop of rain can fall from the sky. I’m being pulled closer, pressed flush against his solid body. With a tilt of my chin, he murmurs against my lips. “My pretty Pae. Tell me you missed me.”
Our lips brush, and I can taste his desperation for me. I smile.
My response is a swift hook of my foot behind his. With a firm tug, I accomplish something few have ever done.
I send the Enforcer sprawling into the dirt.
My voice drifts into the night like the cloud of dust between us. “I missed kicking your ass.”
“Oddly enough”—his smile is crooked—“so did I.”
He attempts to pull me down with him, but I dance away from his grasp with a laugh. “I have more Trials to train for. So no more distractions.”
“You started it, Gray.” He seems content to stare up at the starry sky, even as it cries steadily. “I was trying to keep my hands to myself.”
“Well, don’t,” I offer. “Fight me.”
My words have him sitting up solemnly, ignoring my request. “I hate that you’re being thrown back into this.” I feel his head shake. “You should have never agreed to these Trials.”
“Well, it was nice to have a choice this time.” I swallow my bitterness. “Besides, it was the only way. I mean, you saw how the court reacted—”
“Yes, because they want to watch you die.” He tears himself off the ground, standing swiftly to his feet.
“So I won’t,” I say, with much more confidence than I feel. “I need to do this. And if I die, then make me a martyr.”
“A martyr, Paedyn?” His laugh is void of humor. “Do you even hear yourself? Part of you has already given up before even starting.”
“I’m not giving up; I’m being realistic.” My words are clipped. I’m stunned by how suddenly this conversation escalated. “I could die—”
He closes the distance between us, pressing rough palms against my cheeks. “So damn the Trials. Pae, let me force every person in this kingdom to their knees for you.”
“This is so much bigger than me now.” I shake my head in his hold. “I have to do this.”
His hands slip from my face, wet with rain. “Just like you have to marry Kitt?”
The words hit me hard, as if we were fighting with our fists. It pains me, that look in his eyes. The one that pleads for a different, happier ending to our story. “Yes,” I whisper. “Just like I have to marry Kitt.”
He lets out a slow, steadying breath. I watch him regain his slipping composure. His next words are blunt, laced with defeat. “Fine. It seems you’ve already decided your fate. And I won’t be in it.”
“But I want you in it,” I force out. “We just need to be careful. Kitt can’t see us together. It… it will only make everything more complicated.”
“Right.” He stiffens slightly. “Pretend.”
“And if I want to survive this, I should train,” I add quickly.
Kai takes a step back, his head shaking. The movement is more terrifying than him swinging a sword at me. “If you want me to fight you, I won’t, Paedyn. I told you in that field of poppies how I would never do that again. That when I lay a hand on you, it would only ever be in a caress.” Raindrops drip from his lashes, but he doesn’t dare blink as he murmurs, “And I plan to keep that vow.”
A long moment passes between us, in which I attempt to fathom just how much he cares for me. And nothing has ever felt so right, vowing to never fight the Enforcer again. So I smile up at him, a bead of water sliding down my nose as I attempt to tease. “If you were sick of getting your ass kicked, just say that.”
The corner of his mouth lifts begrudgingly. “Oh, is that what you think?”
“Let’s just say I can sense it.” I lean in, whispering, “I’m kind of a Psychic.”
The last thing I see is a shake of his head before the world flips upside down. I squeal when he throws me over his shoulder, hair dangling and face angled toward the now-muddy ring.
“Did you sense that coming, Little Psychic?” he calls over the shoulder I’m currently slung over. I laugh despite myself, body swaying with each one of his steps.
“Where are you taking me?” I’m breathless and gripping the waist of his pants for dear life.
He’s quiet for several steps. “Somewhere even the future can’t find us.”
I smile sadly. “The willow tree?”
“The willow tree.”
