She sleeps soundly to my right, just as she always does.
Shoulder to shoulder, fabric to face, gaze to stars.
Rough beneath my back lies the rug, piled with scraps of cloth that tickle my skin. The night is a comfort, combing cool fingers through my hair, tucking me in beneath a blanket of stars. They glint above while winking lazily down on the familiar pair of us.
This is home, however unconventional. However broken its inhabitants.
The bleak thought startles me into a sitting position.
Because I am the only bleak thing occupying this fort.
Adena is whole and bright and unbelievably unblemished. I turn to face her, my eyes heavy with the haze of sleep. Raising a sluggish hand, I brush aside the uneven bangs curling atop her brow. When my fingers meet her skin, I pull back sharply at the frigid feel of it.
She feels like death itself.
No, that can’t be right.
Adena is the most alive person I know. She could never feel like anything less.
Hesitantly, I reach for her again. My finger traces the curve of her cold cheekbone, right beneath the crescent of dark lashes fanning over her skin. The moon casts a sickly sheen over her once glowing skin. No, not the moon—it’s Death’s shadow she wears.
Eyes widening, I lean over her fully.
My mind grows foggy, focused wholly on the familiar figure who, at the moment, looks nothing like the girl I know. My palm finds her cheek, patting lightly at her icy skin.
Nothing.
I shake her unmoving shoulders.
A pleading whisper trips off my tongue.
“Adena, wake up. I need you.”
Then I shout at her death-drenched form to live. I might have even screamed.
“A, please!”
A dull thud meets my ears, sounding equally near and far.
My head swivels in search of the ominous repetition. I scan the darkened alley, squinting into the shifting shadows.
Another thud, this one louder than the last. The sound is crisp, clear enough to have me frantically whipping my head in every direction as I search for the source. And when I finally glimpse the gruesome picture that accompanies it—
A strangled gasp claws up my throat, tearing through the shuddering silence.
There’s a bloody branch skewering Adena’s chest.
I bite back a scream, my lungs too tight. Blood blooms beneath the lavender shirt, staining her favorite color with dwindling life.
I watch in horror as the branch lifts, as though being guided by some invisible hand, and begins a sickening plunge back into her chest. It sinks deep enough to pound against the hard carpet beneath, resulting in that horrific thud.
I scream again. Scream each time that branch lifts and lowers, over and over again.
I claw at it, fighting against every sickening beat. Rough bark bites into my palm, springing sticky blood from the torn skin. I tug at the branch and still it relentlessly sinks into her chest.
My hands shake, tears stream.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
It pierces through her, stopping only when it meets the rug. But still, it does not halt for my screams or pleading whimpers.
She’s gone. She’s gone. She’s—
My eyes fly open, only to be greeted by shadow.
A figure looms over me, and I don’t hesitate before slipping my hand beneath a pillow to find the knife I’d snatched from my dinner tray. Not my first weapon of choice, but it’s probably sharp enough to provide a painful end to whoever it is that—
“Pae.”
His voice calms the sea of panic beginning to swell in my chest. A calloused hand catches the wrist I’ve raised toward his throat, halting the swift arc of my borrowed blade. “Easy,” Kai breathes, body tense as it leans over mine.
Eyes adjusting to the dim light, I can just make out his fuzzy figure at the edge of my bed. I’m nearly teetering off it, skin sticky and chest heaving. His body shifts closer, one hand cupped around my lifted wrist while the other is braced beside my head, sinking into the plush pillow.
“It was just a nightmare,” he whispers, slowly lowering our joint hands until the blade tumbles onto the mattress. “You’re okay. I’m right here.”
A nightmare is an understatement. That… that was torture.
I blink up at the face I cannot see, and yet, I picture it all the same. “How… how did you get in here?”
His fingers graze my forehead, sweeping away the sticky strands of hair there. “I heard you scream. And nothing… nothing has terrified me more.” I hear him swallow. Feel a swipe of his thumb across my cheekbone. “And it didn’t stop. You just kept screaming. So…” A pause. “We both know it will take more than a locked door to keep me from you.”
My eyes travel over his shadowed shoulder to find a gaping hole where my door once stood. Now it decorates the floor, having ungracefully toppled to the ground.
The thudding in my dream. That was real—that was this.
He had kicked the damn door down.
“Can I get no privacy around here?” I joke weakly, voice still shaky with the remnants of my nightmare.
“Privacy?” His chuckle skitters up my spine, awakening my sleepy senses. “Darling, I’d be in this bed beside you if my brother hadn’t slipped a ring onto your finger.”
His mouth hovers dangerously close to my own. Especially so considering the distraction I’m seeking—and every inch of him will most definitely do the trick. I want him desperately. Recklessly. And the embodiment of those feelings falls from my lips in the form of a single, traitorous sentence. “So slip it off.”
I feel his head shake above me, feel his nose rub against mine. He groans softly in a way that tells me he’s restraining himself from happily obeying my command. The rough fingers that aren’t currently cupping my jaw find their way to the band around my finger. “I could,” he murmurs. “So easily, I could.” His thumb slides over my knuckles. “The problem wouldn’t be taking that ring off. It would be getting me to put it back on.”
I shut my eyes, as though that could hide me from his words. From the reminder of my fate. I am betrothed to the king, and yet, my heart beats for his brother. “I know,” I whisper, unable to muster anything more.
Several long, silent moments slip between us. His thumb brushes idle circles across the top of my hand—a delicate comfort, and yet, I might crumble beneath the feel of it. Then his touch shifts to stroke the short strands of hair behind my ear. I feel his following murmur on my skin, hear the smirk hidden between each syllable. “A butter knife? Really?”
“It’s all I have at the moment,” I grumble.
“Well, that just won’t do.” He flicks my nose lightly. “What if someone had broken into your rooms?”
I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me. “It seems someone already has. But don’t worry, Prince.” My fingers fiddle with a lock of inky hair falling over his forehead. “I can do plenty of damage with a shoe.”
“Oh, I’m well aware.” His words are a whisper against my lips. “You are devastating, Pae.”
And then he’s scooping me into his arms.
I squeal in surprise, having been swept from the mattress. Blankets slide off my skin, slipping away from the silky sleepwear Ellie had set out for me. A strong hand cups the back of my knees while the other is wrapped around my bare shoulders. The heat of his body seeps through my thin pants and accompanying tank as I sling a steadying arm around his neck. “What—” He turns, causing me to pause my accusation as he casually steps across the fallen door. “What are you doing?”
“Stealing you away,” he says simply.
I open my mouth to protest, but his whispered words against my ear have me falling silent.
“Tonight, we pretend.”
Branches drag along the ground, encircling us in a leafy embrace.
Kai’s hand is firm around mine as he guides me beneath the weepy underside of the willow tree. Moonlight streams through thin branches, dappling the ground with slivers of silver light. At the center of it all lies a looming trunk, its roots clinging to the earth and rippling through the soft grass.
My palm slips from Kai’s when he suddenly sinks to the ground, sprawling atop it with a sigh. He doesn’t offer an explanation before sitting up and planting firm hands on my hips. I’m being pulled toward the grass before even getting the chance to protest.
Tangled in his arms, my body topples over him ungracefully. He embraces my clumsy descent, happily wrapping his arms tighter around me even after I’ve knocked the air from his lungs. I laugh, shoulders shaking from where I lie crookedly across his chest. At the rare sound, his calloused fingers tighten atop the thin fabric of my tank, catching on the silk.
My head leans against his. “This is most definitely not allowed.” He hums in question, the sound vibrating against my back. “Us being out here. Alone. In the dead of night.”
“It could be worse,” he murmurs. “We could have stayed in the queen’s quarters. Alone and in the dead of night.”
My cheeks flush. “On second thought, I much prefer the night air.”
He chuckles beside my ear, forcing me to suppress a shiver. My fingers find one of the hands he’s sprawled across my stomach, feeling the rough skin splattered with scars. It’s only when I brush over his knuckles that I still in his hold.
“That’s why you heard me scream.” I turn my face toward him, voice soft. “You were up training.”
His skin is scabbed over, knuckles hardened with the remnants of blood. The sad smile he wears shines through his voice. “Nothing gets past you, Little Psychic. I was heading to my room after being out in the training yard most of the night. Couldn’t sleep,” he adds, the clarification an afterthought. “That’s when I heard you.”
I nod slowly, gathering my courage. “I was dreaming about her.”
I feel his chest halt beneath me. He knows exactly who it is I’m referring to. “I’m guessing it wasn’t a pleasant dream.”
“No.” I almost laugh. “It started that way, which somehow made it all so much worse.”
His voice is rough. “I’m sorry you’re forced to relive that moment every time you shut your eyes.”
“Not every time.” I shift, slipping off his chest to sit beside him. “Not when I’m with you.”
He props himself up on an elbow, tugging at my tank until I’m leaning down toward him. “Then I’ll never leave your side.”
I give him a look. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“It’s not promises I care to keep—it’s you.”
His words never fail to have my stomach flipping, heart fluttering, lips falling silent. So, I flick the tip of his nose with a soft “You’re quite the poet, Prince.”
Moonlight pools in the dimple that accompanies his grin. “And you the muse, darling.”
My silk-clad knees sink into the dew-kissed grass, growing damper by the second. “Is this going to be our lives?” I whisper suddenly, avoiding his gaze. “Forever pretending, sneaking away from reality to steal a few moments together?”
“You know,” he sighs, “I pictured a different forever for us. One that took place far from here. But if this is all we get…” He pauses, eyes as silver as the moonbeams pouring down on us. “Then we’ll make the most of it. I will be your Enforcer. Your rival. Your secret waiting beneath the willow.”
Mention of the tree cocooning us has my gaze wandering down to its large base and the lapping grass there.
His sister is buried beneath this patch of earth, her body cradled by twining roots.
My voice is oddly hushed. “Is it okay that I’m here? Under her willow?”
“I’m sure Ava won’t mind the company.” His smile is bright against the darkness, unexpected within this moment. “Besides, this isn’t your first time here. I did nearly undress you beneath these very branches during the second ball.”
Memory of the seizing panic that night comes flooding back, along with the unforgettable feel of his fingers undoing the laces of my dress. “Oh, yes, I remember.”
“Fondly, I hope.”
I scoff lightly before leaning closer. “I also recall the game we played under this tree. And how I beat you at it.” He’s shaking his head at me. “Now that is a fond memory.”
“First,” he starts coolly, “the game was a thumb war. Second, you’re full of shit, Silver Savior.”
My mouth opens, appalled by his accusation. But it’s a gasping giggle that escapes when he sits up suddenly to tug me closer by the waist. I’m pulled onto his lap within the next thundering beat of my heart. He wraps my legs behind his back, leaving me fully perched atop his crossed ones.
“Fine.” I smile. “Rematch.”
“Oh, my pretty Pae.” His words are a murmur against my lips. “For once, it is I who will be your undoing.”
And in this moment, I would beg him to be just that. Would give anything to live out the rest of my days under this willow and in his arms.
So, I memorize every shadow of his face, every shade of this vivid fantasy before me.
He kisses the pad of my thumb before the war begins.
