Paedyn
รขโฌลRemember to keep your back straight. Oh, and do try to look pleasant.รขโฌย
I make a face behind the dressing curtain, fully aware that Ellie canรขโฌโขt see it from where she stands on the other side. รขโฌลPleasant?รขโฌย
I can hear the hesitant smile in her voice. รขโฌลYou know, maybe smile a bit. No scowling at court members.รขโฌย
รขโฌลBut that is so much more pleasant for me,รขโฌย I say wistfully. Because that is the truth, in more ways than one. It hurts less to scowl. There is no sharp, searing sensation that accompanies the downward turn of my lips. But a smile has quickly been associated with pain, leaving little joy to remain in the action.
My fingers deftly trail the jagged scar running down the side of my neck, stopping only when it reaches my collarbone and the carving beneath it. Like braille, the severed flesh tells a story. Each drag of the kingรขโฌโขs sword is traced along my skin, embedded into my very being.
รขโฌลAre you all right back there?รขโฌย Ellieรขโฌโขs voice grows closer. รขโฌลHere, let me help youรขโฌโรขโฌย
รขโฌลNo,รขโฌย I order, the word harsh enough to shock even me.
The command is met with a long, unbearable silence from the other side of the screen. Until finally, a soft รขโฌลOh, okayรขโฌย shyly meets my ears.
I take a deep breath, already regretting my clipped command. But I wonรขโฌโขt let her see my marred skin, the O branded above my heart. That piece of myself has only ever been shared with Kai. And I intend to keep it that way.
My fingers fiddle with the line of little buttons cascading down the dressรขโฌโขs center. Mumbling under my breath, I finally manage to secure the last one. Only then, after ensuring that the square neckline thoroughly covers the branding of my weakness, I reveal myself to a fidgeting Ellie.
รขโฌลOh, itรขโฌโขs lovely.รขโฌย She moves to step behind me, hesitating slightly. รขโฌลUm, may I tighten this tie for you?รขโฌย
I swallow, once again ashamed that Iรขโฌโขd snapped at her. My apology takes the form of a slightly pained smile. รขโฌลYes, of course.รขโฌย
She makes quick work of the tie, stealing my breath with each tug. รขโฌลDo you think Adena would like this dress?รขโฌย
Ellieรขโฌโขs question makes me pause, and her sudden stillness tells me that she hadnรขโฌโขt intended on asking it. But for the first time since her death, the sound of Adenaรขโฌโขs name doesnรขโฌโขt feel like a twisted knife to the gut. No, I want to remember her like this. See her in the stitching of a dress or in the rays of the sun. Watch her shine through every second for as long as I remain breathing the air she no longer can.
I glance at the mirror beside me, studying the planes of the dress. รขโฌลSheรขโฌโขd like the color,รขโฌย I say softly. Ellieรขโฌโขs relieved breath tickles the back of my neck. รขโฌลShe would say that the deep blue brings out my eyes. But Plague knows sheรขโฌโขd ensure the skirt wasรขโฌยฆ ugh, what would she say?รขโฌย I stare at the draping fabric until my eyes are crinkling with sudden recollection. รขโฌลVoluptuous. Thatรขโฌโขs the word.รขโฌย
Ellie giggles softly, stepping beside me to examine the dress fully. รขโฌลYes, that does sound like her.รขโฌย
I run my sweaty palms over the tight bodice, avoiding my own gaze in the mirror. รขโฌลCome,รขโฌย Ellie says softly. รขโฌลLetรขโฌโขs make those blue eyes pop even more.รขโฌย
She ushers me to the vanity, where I sit stiffly atop the cushioned bench. My lashes are soon lined with coal, face powdered, and bruises concealed. She paints my lips a deep red, perhaps to match the blood forever coating my handsรขโฌโ
My breath catches at the comparison my muddled mind has made. I keep my gaze lowered after the jarring thought, hiding from my own reflection in the mirror. Because Iรขโฌโขm scared of what Iรขโฌโขll see there. Will it be the broken girl staring back, or the traitor queen Iรขโฌโขll soon become?
รขโฌลPaedyn?รขโฌย
รขโฌลHmm?รขโฌย My gaze lifts to Ellie, finding her staring at me in question. รขโฌลSorry, did you say something?รขโฌย
She smiles comfortingly. รขโฌลYes, I asked what you wanted me to do with your hair.รขโฌย
รขโฌลOh, um, just leave it.รขโฌย I nod distractedly. รขโฌลIt will help cover my scar.รขโฌย
Another sad smile. Itรขโฌโขs not the first sheรขโฌโขs given me. รขโฌลRight.รขโฌย Stepping away, she scans my face. รขโฌลYou lookรขโฌยฆรขโฌย
Ellie trails off, and that worries me greatly. รขโฌลWhat? If I look ridiculous, please tell me.รขโฌย
รขโฌลNo. No, not at all.รขโฌย Her gaze lingers over the length of me. รขโฌลYou lookรขโฌยฆ hardened, in a way.รขโฌย
Those words donรขโฌโขt surprise me. But her next ones do.
รขโฌลIn fact, you look like a queen.รขโฌย
I spin my fatherรขโฌโขs ring beneath the massive table, if only to distract myself from the foreign one now encircling a nearby finger.
Shifting in my plush chair, I sneak a glance down the length of wood to find that nearly every gaze is already pinned on me. I lift my chin slightly before mustering a cool facade as my only defense against so many prying eyes.
The colossal table sits in the center of the throne room, and even despite its impressive size, the court is thoroughly cramped around it. My gaze climbs from the expanse of dark wood until it lands onรขโฌยฆ
Comfort. Relief. Him.
Gray eyes flick between mine, soft in that way they only are when looking at me. That tether between us grows taut, heavy with the weight of so many unspoken words. But even the strongest of ties wear over time. It will be the slow death of us, spending every day alongside each other but never truly together.
Kaiรขโฌโขs gaze tears from mine when the looming doors swing open.
Every body clumped along the tableรขโฌโขs edge clambers to its feet when the king enters the room. Having spent my life learning how to blend in, I quickly stand alongside them. When my eyes lift to find Kitt, itรขโฌโขs his brother they find their way back toรขโฌโa repetition of the past I canรขโฌโขt seem to escape. His black tunic is cut close to the body beneath, inky like the ebony waves that fall over his brow. As if feeling my gaze, he pulls those strong arms behind his back and tosses me a quick wink.
I dip my head, hiding the twitch of my lips. Then I tuck our moment into that quiet part of my mind, right alongside the others. Just in case we never get the chance to share another.
Kitt strides to the head of the long table, where Kai flanks his right and I his left. Itรขโฌโขs only after the king lowers himself into his extravagant seat that the court follows, numbly sitting back into their own.
รขโฌลGood afternoon,รขโฌย Kitt greets warmly. รขโฌลIรขโฌโขd like to first thank you allย for joining me in this meeting. I know there is much to discuss and even more to answer.รขโฌย
The sheer kingliness he exudes is still jarring, in a mournful sort of way. I miss the carefree boy he was before a crown was pushed onto his head. Before I pushed him to be like this.
But his very life has led up to this moment, this ruling of a kingdom. And it suits him more than I could have imagined. Or perhaps itรขโฌโขs my revived hope for Ilya that has me suddenly looking at him with respect rather than revulsion.
Everything changed in that study, history unwritten and loyalties reformed. Kitt seems equally as unenthusiastic about our engagement, and I warily wonder about his feelings for me. How much does the king despise me for killing the father he once cared so dearly for? Our marriage will be nothing more than a political union, but if we are meant to spend the rest of our lives together, I hope to restore some semblance of the friendship we once had. That is, if he even wants it.
รขโฌลTo begin, I will first address the terrible misunderstandings we all believed to be true.รขโฌย Kittรขโฌโขs gaze travels around the table. รขโฌลI hope then that the reasonings behind my decision will become clear.รขโฌย
I take a deep breath, straightening my spine like Ellie suggested. But I donรขโฌโขt, however, arrange my features into something that resembles pleasantry. Instead, I remain stern, feigning strength in the face of a kingdom so eager to cut me down.
รขโฌลDecades ago, Healers claimed to have found an undetectable disease hidden within the blood of Ordinaries.รขโฌย Kittรขโฌโขs voice carries, sounding so much like the king before him that I nearly flinch. รขโฌลWith prolonged exposure, that disease was said to weaken the powers of Elites. And since becoming your king, I have discovered this story to be a lie.รขโฌย
Chaos erupts around the table. I sit silently within it, my heartย pounding as Kittรขโฌโขs liberating words hang in the air. I never thought Iรขโฌโขd hear the truth from a kingรขโฌโขs lips.
I lean in slightly, searching his face. But he doesnรขโฌโขt meet my gaze, doesnรขโฌโขt glance in my direction at all as he states, รขโฌลSeeing that Ilya was such a weak kingdom before the Plague, King Edric did what he believed was bestรขโฌโbanished the Ordinaries. He did this to preserve our Elite strength, offering a story that the Healers eagerly backed. Youรขโฌโthe peopleรขโฌโneeded little convincing to rid our kingdom of those lacking power.รขโฌย
Confused glances are thrown around the table, followed by hushed accusations. The kingรขโฌโขs voice cuts through them all. รขโฌลMy father strengthened our kingdom greatly in the past, and for that, we should all be thankful. But now he has unwittingly weakened us by cutting off our resources, leaving me to do what I must to save us.รขโฌย A long pause, a sinking in of words. รขโฌลSo we will welcome the Ordinaries back into Ilya.รขโฌย
My lips twitch into a smile.
After decades of lies, us Ordinaries deserve a far grander reveal, a proclamation across the kingdom. But this is the best apology an Elite king will give. So I revel in it.
Kittรขโฌโขs words spark an eruption that ripples down the table. Men and women of all ages push to their feet, shouting incoherently as the world they once ruled now shifts beneath them. Kitt raises a hand in a feeble attempt to regain control. But the chaos continues its destructive course, forcing me to dodge a flying elbow to my right.
รขโฌลIf you wish to lose your tongue, by all means, continue speaking over your king.รขโฌย
Kaiรขโฌโขs casual threat carries across the room, clamping shut even the most eager of mouths. With one final glance at the court, the Enforcer gestures casually to his king, urging him to continue.
Kittรขโฌโขs green gaze brims with gratitude. He looks at Kai like he onceย hadรขโฌโlike a brother. But the moment passes too quickly. Without warning, heรขโฌโขs suddenly morphed back into a king addressing his court. รขโฌลI know this is an adjustment. I was shocked to learn of my fatherรขโฌโขs deceit, though it benefitted us all. He was a harsh man who would happily kill for powerรขโฌโas do most kings. And after speaking with Calum, I realized that the Resistance was simply a voice for those harmless Ordinaries.รขโฌย He lets the words sink in before uttering more. รขโฌลBanishing them, as my father once had, strengthened our city once. Allowing them back in now will do the same.รขโฌย
My ears ring slightly as I release a shaky breath. I never thought this day would come, never imagined living in a world where I no longer had to hide what I wasnรขโฌโขt. Kitt may only be allowing Ordinaries back in Ilya to appease the surrounding kingdoms, but it is a start.
A man shoves to his feet across the table, and my eyes fall to the pin of Ilyaรขโฌโขs crest that names him the courtรขโฌโขs spokesperson. His head of mint hair is next to draw my attention, followed by the words he utters evenly. รขโฌลEven without a disease, theyรขโฌโขll dwindle our power if we reproduce with them.รขโฌย
Them.
I hadnรขโฌโขt realized my hands were curled into fists beneath the table until my nails threaten to draw blood. รขโฌลOver time, maybe,รขโฌย Kitt was saying. รขโฌลFor all we know, there may be benefits to mixing the blood of Elites and Ordinaries. But you will find that Ordinaries willing to procreate with an Elite are few and far between.รขโฌย
Questions begin flying around the room, echoing off the many marble pillars framing it. รขโฌลAnd what about her?รขโฌย My head snaps toward the shouted accusation to find a bearded man pointing his thick finger at my face. รขโฌลWhat about your heirs? Will you taint your royal line with the blood of an Ordinary?รขโฌย
My stomach twists, lungs suddenly too tight beneath theย constricting fabric of my dress. Kai jerks to his feet and nearly topples the chair behind him. I stand too, readying myself to step between my Enforcer and the man testing his patience.
รขโฌลEnough.รขโฌย Itรขโฌโขs the king who says this, defusing Kai with the stern word. รขโฌลI will not have my judgment questioned, nor my future lineage. If the heir to my throne possesses less power, then so be it. That is a small price to pay for a thriving kingdom.รขโฌย
His words should startle me more, but Iรขโฌโขve always known of Kittรขโฌโขs love for Ilya. That alone is why heรขโฌโขs willing to sacrifice power. Not for the Ordinaries. Not for me.
A woman stands on heeled shoes, her gown pristine. She is the perfect picture of Offensive Elite privilege. รขโฌลNone of this changes the fact that she is a criminal. A king killer!รขโฌย
I canรขโฌโขt help my wince at the uproar that follows her words. Hands rise in objection, their voices doing the same. My gaze slowly climbs to Kitt, awaiting what words he strings together. Itรขโฌโขs my lifeรขโฌโor rather, my imminent deathรขโฌโthat he now holds in the palm of his hand.
A terrifying realization courses through me, heating my cheeks with the blood Kitt likely wishes to spill. He must ache to grant these shouted requests for justice. After everything I did, he was going to kill me. That is, until I became useful to him.
Kittรขโฌโขs voice is even, eyes expertly avoiding mine. รขโฌลPaedyn was defending herself.รขโฌย Itรขโฌโขs a simple, defiant explanation that no one will dare oppose. รขโฌลMy father suffered a deep blow to the head during the chaos before stumbling into Paedyn. Due to his injuries, he was confused and not at all in his right mind. In his hazy state, he came after her, forcing Miss Gray to defend herself against him. Now, I will hear nothing more on the matter.รขโฌย
The scar above my heart sears, as if to remind me what truly happened that day.
รขโฌลรขโฌยฆ I will leave my mark upon your heart, lest you forget whoรขโฌโขs broken it.รขโฌย
My eyes fall to the fisted hands in my lap. They shake slightly, rippling the blue fabric beneath. I can feel the imprint of the swordรขโฌโขs hilt, remember the exact amount of pressure used to drive the blade through Edric Azerรขโฌโขs chest. Feel the flick of a dagger, the release of a bowstring, the plunging of a sword.
Every death Iรขโฌโขve doled lives in the lines of these hands. And I fear who will find themselves beneath their next calloused touch.
รขโฌลFliers will be distributed throughout the city.รขโฌย I blink back to the present, Kittรขโฌโขs words filling my muffled ears. รขโฌลThey will announce our engagement to Ilya, but most importantly, to the surrounding cities. I will send messengers to Dor and Tando while searching for a way to deliver the news to Izram. On these scrolls will be what we spoke of today, every reasoning and explanation. In two daysรขโฌโข time, we will host a parade in celebration. And any remaining Ordinaries within the kingdom, or anyone outside it, for that matter, are to be welcomed.รขโฌย
Mouths open in unison around the table, but the king is speaking before sound is able to escape them. รขโฌลThat will be all. Thank you for your time.รขโฌย
I can practically hear jaws snapping shut at the dismissal. Kitt then stands, and after a moment of hesitation, extends a hand to me. My eyes slide to Kai, even as I slowly reach for his brother. But he doesnรขโฌโขt look at me. No, the Enforcerรขโฌโขs gaze is on the palm Iรขโฌโขve placed atop the kingรขโฌโขs, growing darker with every second our skin grazes.
And as we stride from the room, hand in hand, I will Kai to meet my eyes and read the message within them.
Pretend.
