gentle skill building: the five things tidying
method
when you look at very messy space, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Take a few minutes to speak some compassionate words to yourself and take a deep breath. Although it looks like a lot, there are
actually only five things in any room: (1) trash, (2) dishes, (3) laundry, (4) things that have a place and are not in their place, and
(5) things that do not have a place.
- The first step is to take a trash bag and pick up all the trash.
Throw it away into the bag. Take large trash items like boxes and stack them together and place the trash bag with it. Do not take the trash out.
- Next gather all of the dishes and place them in your sink or on your counter. Do not do the dishes.
- Take a laundry basket and pick up all the clothes and shoes. Place the laundry basket next to the trash pile. Do not do the laundry.
- Next pick a space in the room like a corner or a desk and put all the items there that have a place back in their place. Then put the items that have no place in a pile. Move to the next
space and repeat until all things are back in their spots.
- Now you will have a pile of things that do not have a place. It will be easier now that the space is clear to tackle this
category. You may choose to get rid of some items that have no place and are contributing to clutter. For important things, you can find them a permanent place.
- Take out your trash to the bin; throw laundry into the wash or laundry room. Now your space is livable. I always save the dishes for another day.
why the five things tidying method works
The Five Things Tidying Method helps the brain know exactly what it is looking for, so instead of seeing a sea of clutter and being
paralyzed, it can start to see individual items. Ignoring everything but that one category helps to keep you on track and not get distracted. You can move faster when you know what you are looking for. Trash, laundry, and dishes are being placed into their own containers, so you are not spending lots of time walking around your house putting things away in different places. This makes things get tidier faster.
Lastly, completing a category gives you a little dopamine reward. No more spending hours trying to clean and seeing no progress. Our
brains need to see progress or they get discouraged. Category cleaning gives your brain multiple, quick finish lines to feel good about.
The categories can be tackled all at once or over a few days. You can choose to do only trash today, only dishes tomorrow, et cetera. You can also institute the timer technique. Decide that you are going to do twenty minutes a day, starting with the categories. Perhaps it
takes you three days to get all the trash, but you stick with only trash until it’s done. Music, a Netflix show, a podcast, a timer, racing to see how fast you can go, a friend to help you tag team, rewarding
yourself with something when you are done—all of these are tools you have to help you.
Lastly, the order of the categories is such that even if you don’t finish all the categories, you will be prioritizing removing the items most likely to create health hazards and attract bugs. If you are very
overwhelmed, it is an excellent accomplishment to just remove the trash and dishes from your space.
what to do with donations
Listen to me. Picture my hands cupping your face and my eyes
looking directly into yours. Take a deep breath. Heed these words: It’s okay, friend. Throw it away.
The clothes you’ve been meaning to donate that have been sitting there for six months—throw them away.
The items you’ve been planning to sell that have been making your room unfunctional for months—throw them away.
I’m not anti-donation, I’m just pro-realism and pro-accessibility. Today is about getting back to functioning. If you have not done it yet, it’s not going to get done. Throw. It. Away. It’s okay—really.
