(HERO, MARGARET and URSULA.)
HERO
Good Margaret, run thee to the parlor. There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice.
Whisper her ear and tell her I and Ursley walk in the orchard, and our whole discourse is all of her.
MARGARET
I’ll make her come, I warrant you.
(Exit MARGARET.)
HERO
Now Ursula, when Beatrice doth come, our talk must only be of Benedick.
When I do name him, let it be thy part to praise him more than ever man did merit. My talk to thee must be how Benedick is sick in love with Beatrice.
(Enter BEATRICE.)
Look where Beatrice like a lapwing* runs close by the ground, to hear our conference. URSULA
The pleasantest angling is to see the fish cut with her golden oars the silver stream and greedily devour the treacherous bait.
So angle we for Beatrice, who even now is couched in the woodbine coverture.* Fear you not my part of the dialogue.
HERO
Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing of the false sweet bait that we lay for it.
URSULA
But are you sure that Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely?
HERO
So says the Prince, and my new-trothed lord.
URSULA
And did they bid you tell her of it, madam?
HERO
They did entreat me to acquaint her of it; but I persuaded them, if they loved Benedick, to wish him wrestle with affection and never to let Beatrice know of it.
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URSULA
Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman deserve as worthy a companion as Beatrice?
lapwing – small bird:(a kind of plover), woodbine coverture – honeysuckle concealment
HERO
O God of love! I know he doth deserve as much as may be yielded to a man; but Nature never framed a woman’s heart of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice.
URSULA
Sure, I think so; and therefore certainly it were not good she knew his love, lest she make sport of it.
HERO
Why you speak truth.
I never yet saw man, how wise, how noble, young, how rarely featured, but she would spell him backward: if fair-faced, she would swear the gentleman should be her sister;
if speaking, why, a vane* blown with all winds; if silent, why, a block moved with none.
So turns she every man the wrong side out.
URSULA
Sure sure, such carping* is not commendable.
HERO
But who dare tell her so?
If I should speak, she would mock me into air, she would laugh me out of myself, press me to death with wit. Therefore let Benedick, like covered fire, consume away in sighs, waste inwardly.
It were a better death than die with mocks, which is as bad as die with tickling.
URSULA
Yet tell her of it. Hear what she will say.
HERO
No; rather I will go to Benedick and counsel him to fight against his passion. And truly, I’ll devise some honest slanders to stain my cousin with.
One doth not know how much an ill word may empoison liking.
Go in with me. I’ll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel which is the best to furnish* me tomorrow.
URSULA
She’s hooked, I warrant you. We have caught her, madam.
HERO
If it proves so, then loving goes by haps;* some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.
(Exeunt HERO and URSULA.)
BEATRICE
What fire is in mine ears?
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Can this be true? Stand I condemned for pride and scorn so much? Contempt farewell, and maiden pride adieu. And Benedick, love on! I will requite* thee, taming my wild heart to thy loving hand.
For others say thou dost deserve, and I believe it better than reported. (Exit BEATRICE.)
vane – weathervane, carping – faultfinding, furnish – dress, haps – chance, requite – repay
Act 3, Scene 2 Leonato’s garden
(DON PEDRO and CLAUDIO, then enters DON JOHN.)
DON JOHN
My lord and brother, God save you.
DON PEDRO
Good den,* brother.
DON JOHN
If your leisure serve, I would speak with you.
DON PEDRO
In private?
DON JOHN
If it please you. Yet count Claudio may hear, for what I would speak of concerns him.
DON PEDRO
What’s the matter?
DON JOHN
(To CLAUDIO.) Means your lordship to be married tomorrow?
DON PEDRO
You know he does.
DON JOHN
I know not that when he knows what I know.
CLAUDIO
If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.
DON JOHN
I came hither to tell you the lady is disloyal.
CLAUDIO
Who? Hero?
DON JOHN
Even she–Leonato’s Hero, your Hero, every man’s Hero!
CLAUDIO
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Disloyal?
Good den – Good evening
DON JOHN
The word is too good to paint out her wickedness.
I could say she were worse; think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Go but with me tonight, and you shall see her chamber-window entered, even the night before her wedding-day.
If you love her then, tomorrow wed her. But it would better fit your honor to change your mind.
CLAUDIO
May this be so?
DON PEDRO
I will not think it.
CLAUDIO
If I see any thing tonight why I should not marry her,
tomorrow in the congregation where I should wed, there will I shame her.
DON PEDRO
And as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.
DON JOHN
I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses. Bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself.
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(Exeunt.)
Act 3, Scene 3 The town square
(Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, SIMPLE, NYM, HUGH OATCAKE and GEORGE SEACOLE.)
DOGBERRY
Are you good men and true?
VERGES
Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation.*
DOGBERRY
Nay, that were a punishment too good for them.
VERGES
Well, give them their charge,* neighbor Dogberry.
DOGBERRY
First, who think you the most desertless* man to be constable?
NYM
Hugh Oatcake sir, or George Seacole, for they can write and read.
DOGBERRY
Come hither, neighbor Seacole.
You are thought here to be the most senseless* and fit man for the constable of the watch, therefore bear you the lantern.
This is your charge.
You shall comprehend* all vagrom* men.
You are to bid any man stop, in the Prince’s name.
SEACOLE
How if he will not stop?
DOGBERRY
Why then, take no note of him, but let him go, and thank God you are rid of a knave.
VERGES
If he will not stop when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince’s subjects.
DOGBERRY
True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince’s subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets;
for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable,* and not to be endured.
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SIMPLE
We will rather sleep than talk.
salvation – he means damnation, charge – orders, desertless – he means deserving, senseless – he means sensible,
comprehend – he means apprehend, vagrom – vagrant, tolerable – he means intolerable
DOGBERRY
Why you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend. Only have a care your pikes be not stolen.
You are to call at all the ale-houses and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.
SEACOLE
How if they will not?
DOGBERRY
Why then, let them alone till they are sober.
SEACOLE
Well, sir.
DOGBERRY
If you meet a thief, you may suspect him to be no true man; and the less you meddle with him the more is for your honesty.
SIMPLE
If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands upon him?
DOGBERRY
Truly you may, but I think they that touch pitch shall be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do meet a thief,
is to let him show himself what he is, and steal out of your company.
VERGES
If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.
SEACOLE
How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?
DOGBERRY
Why then, depart in peace and let the child wake her with crying.
Well masters, good night. If there be any matter of weight chances, call up me. Come, neighbor.
SEACOLE
Well masters, we hear our charge.
Let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two, and then all to bed.
DOGBERRY
One word more, honest neighbors. I pray you watch about Signior Leonato’s door; for the wedding being there tomorrow, there is a great coil* tonight.
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Adieu. Be vigitant,* I beseech you.
(Exeunt DOGBERRY and VERGES.)
coil – confusion; bustle, vigitant – he means vigilant
(Enter BORACHIO and CONRADE.)
BORACHIO
Conrade!
CONRADE
Here man. I am at thy elbow.
BORACHIO
Stand thee close; and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.
SEACOLE
(Aside.) Some treason masters. Stand close.
BORACHIO
Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.
CONRADE
Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?*
BORACHIO
Didst thou not hear somebody?
CONRADE
No; ’twas the vane on the house.
BORACHIO
Know that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero’s gentlewoman, by the name of Hero. She leans me out at her mistress’ chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good night–
I tell this tale vilely–I should first tell thee how the Prince, Claudio and my master, planted and placed and possessed* by my master Don John,
saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.
CONRADE
And thought they Margaret was Hero?
BORACHIO
Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my master knew she was Margaret. Away went Claudio enraged;
swore he would meet her, as he was appointed, next morning at the temple,
and there before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw overnight and send her home again without a husband.
SEACOLE
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We charge you in the Prince’s name, stand!
dear – expensive, possessed – deluded
OATCAKE
Call up the right master constable.
We have here recovered* the most dangerous piece of lechery* that ever was known in the commonwealth.
CONRADE
Masters, masters–
NYM
Never speak! We charge you let us obey you* to go with us.
(Exeunt.)
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recovered – he means discovered, lechery – he means treachery, obey you – he means order you
Act 3, Scene 5 The street in front of Leonato’s house
(LEONATO, DOGBERRY and VERGES.)
LEONATO
What would you with me, honest neighbor?
DOGBERRY
Marry, sir, I would have some confidence* with you that discerns* you nearly.
LEONATO
Brief, I pray you, for you see it is a busy time with me.
DOGBERRY
Marry, this it is sir.
VERGES
Yes, in truth it is, sir.
LEONATO
What is it, my good friends?
DOGBERRY
Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter.
An old man sir, and his wits are not so blunt* as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.
VERGES
Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man living, that is an old man, and no honester than I.
DOGBERRY
Comparisons are odorous.*
LEONATO
Neighbors, you are tedious.
DOGBERRY
It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor Duke’s officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a King,
I could find it in my heart to bestow it all on your worship.
LEONATO
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All thy tediousness on me, ah?
confidence – he means conference, discerns – he means concerns,
blunt – he means sharp, odorous – he means odious
DOGBERRY
Yea, for I hear as good exclamation* on your worship as of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.
VERGES
And so am I.
LEONATO
I would fain* know what you have to say.
VERGES
Marry sir, our watch tonight have taken a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina.
DOGBERRY
A good old man, sir; he will be talking. As they say, ‘When the age is in the wit is out.’ And two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind.
All men are not alike, alas, good neighbor.
LEONATO
Indeed neighbor, he comes too short of you.
DOGBERRY
Gifts that God gives.
LEONATO
I must leave you.
DOGBERRY
One word, sir.
Our watch sir, have indeed comprehended* two aspicious* persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship.
LEONATO
Take their examination yourself and bring it me. I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you.
DOGBERRY
It shall be suffigance.*
LEONATO
Drink some wine ere you go. Fare you well.
(Enter NELL.)
NELL
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My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband.
exclamation – he means acclamation, fain – be eager to, comprehended – he means apprehended,
aspicious – he means suspicious, suffigance – he means sufficient
LEONATO
I’ll wait upon them. I am ready.
(Exeunt LEONATO and NELL.)
DOGBERRY
Go good partner, go! Get you the Sexton. Bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the jail. We are now to examination* these men.
VERGES
And we must do it wisely.
DOGBERRY
We will spare for no wit, I warrant you.
Only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication.* Go!
(Exeunt.)
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