The cook dished out hearty stew into bowls and plopped a thick slice of black rye bread on top. Jase had brought in field cooks from the Ballenger lumber camps. If you included Wren, Synovรฉ, and me, there were about an equal amount of Vendans and Ballengers. Thirty of them, thirty of us, and as each person got their dinner they filed off to sit with their own.
The Ballenger crew sat on one side of an oak, and the Vendans on the other, which prevented any conversation between them, but maybe that was the goal. This was going to be a long, dreary evening, maybe even a contentious one if someone took a sharp word too personally. A small fire burned in a ring in the center, ready to stave off darkness as dusk rolled in. There were some benches and chairs from among the Vendan belongings, but not enough for everyone, and so they perched on the sides of empty wagons or on stacked lumber as they ate their meal.
Jase was the last to arrive at the cook wagon. As he got his meal, Titus called to him, offering a seat on a crate beside himโon their side. He didnโt even look for me, and I wondered if my encounter with the dogs in the tunnel had created a permanent distance between us.
I noted that the Vendans still watched Jase closely. When we had unloaded wagons, I heard their sentiments, ranging from disbelief to continued wariness, but knew they all felt cautious gratitude. Mostly, they were still puzzled by this new development. Many eyes glistened with tears as they unloaded their goods to a designated spot beneath a strung canvas.
There was no question that this was a site that held more promise than the last. One woman had openly wept, but now, as we sat eating, they kept their words quiet and emotions in check, as they had learned to do around outsiders.
But there was a curiosity, tooโon both sides. I saw the glances. Even the camp cook had regarded them with something that wavered between worry and compassion. He was generous with their portions.
โWell, would you look at that,โ Synovรฉ said. Her eyes directed us to Gunner across the way. โThe nasty one keeps looking at Jurga.โ
Sheโd been the one weeping earlier today.
โHow can you be sure heโs looking at her?โ I asked. There were several Vendans huddled close to her.
โBecause sheโs looking back.โ
I watched more closely and it was true, but Jurga was careful, only looking sideways at him through lowered lashes when he looked away.
Maybe the divide wasnโt as great as I thought. If the nasty one could catch softhearted Jurgaโs eye, maybe the divide only needed a little help to narrow.
โIโll be right back,โ I said. I strolled across the empty expanse, and several pairs of eyes followed me, like I was a plow churning up a furrow of soil in my wake. Gunner didnโt like me. Heโd made that clear, but the feeling was mutual so I didnโt hold it against him. Once I signed the letter to the queen, my purpose was done, and I was dead to him. When I stopped in front of him, he looked at me like I was a swarm of flies blocking his view. โShe wonโt bite, you know? You could go over and say hello.โ
โIโm just eating my dinner. Donโt know what youโre talking about.โ โYour bowl is empty, Gunner. Your dinner is gone. Would it be the end
of the world to get to know some of the people youโre building shelters for?โ
I reached down and took the bowl from his lap and set it aside, then grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. โHer name is Jurga. Did you see her weeping today? It was with gratitude for what you Ballengers have done.โ
He yanked his hand loose. โI already told you, I donโt know what youโre talking about. Let me finish my dinner in peace.โ
We both looked at his empty bowl.
โHello.โ
Jurga had come up behind us.
Perhaps seeing me talking to Gunner had given her courage to do the same. I wasnโt sure, but Gunner calmed, shifting awkwardly on his feet, and I stepped away, leaving the finer points of introduction to the two of them.
Now I turned my attention to another Ballenger.
I walked over to one of the older Vendan boys testing notes on a flute. I asked him if he knew โWolf Moon,โ a common Fenlander song that Synovรฉ sometimes hummed. He did, and when he started playing the first tentative notes, I ambled over to Jase, still deep in conversation with Mason and Titus, and I curtsied in front of him, quickly getting their attention. โWe never got to dance last night,ย Patrei. Would now be a good time?โ
He looked at me uncertainly. โWhat about your ankle?โ
โIโve ridden for hours, dug up a barrel of parsnips and potatoes, and helped unload two wagons today, and now youโre worried about my ankle? Maybe it isย yourย delicate feet that are too weary? Are you trying to get out of this dance,ย Patrei? Just say so and Iโll find someone else toโโ
Jase was on his feet, his arm sliding around me, pulling me to the center of the Ballenger-Vendan divide. The truth was my ankle was still tender, but Jase seemed to sense this in spite of my protest, and he limited our dancing to gentle swaying.
โI think this is the least we can do to warm the chill between these two camps,โ I said.
โSo this is all for show?โ โWhat do you think?โ
โI think I donโt care anymore, as long as youโre in my arms.โ
The tune was slow and dreamy, the notes gliding through the air like birds heading home through a dusky sky to roost. Jase pulled me closer, his lips resting against my temple. โEveryoneโs watching,โ he whispered.
โThat is entirely the point.โ
โNot entirely.โ His mouth edged closer to my lips.
The question of whether it was a show was swept aside, forgotten. There may have been other secrets between us, but this much was true and honest
โI wanted to be in his arms, and he wanted to be in mine.
Maybe that was enough.
Maybe moments like this were all the truth we could expect to get from the world. I held on to it as if it were.
โLast time we danced we were knee deep in grass,โ I said.
โAnd now thereโs not even a chain between us,โ Jase whispered. โMaybe we donโt need one anymore.โ We were in the wilderness again,
and it felt easy and natural to allow ourselves to slip through a hole that was familiar.
I had an awareness of others joining us, but my eyes were locked on Jaseโs and his on mine, and as I heard more feet shuffling, others dancing around us, I wondered if they had fallen through that same hole with us, and I wondered if, this time, we would be able to make it last.
* * *
Tell me a riddle, Kazi.
Jase had seen me, restless, walking, organizing supplies that were already ordered. Everyone else was asleep on their bedrolls. He came up behind me, his hands circling my waist. โI canโt sleep either,โ he said. His lips grazed my neck, and he whispered, โTell me a riddle, Kazi.โ
We laid out a blanket on a bed of grass, the stars of Hetishaโs Chariot, Eagleโs Nest, and Thievesโ Gold lighting our way, far from everyone else.
I settled in next to him, laying my head in the crook of his shoulder, his arm wrapping around me, pulling me close.
โListen carefully now, Jase Ballenger. I wonโt repeat myself.โ โIโm a good listener.โ
I know you are. Iโve known that since our first night together. Thatโs what makes you dangerous. You make me want to share everything with you.ย I cleared my throat, signaling I was ready to begin.
โIf I were a color, Iโd be red as a rose,
I make your blood rush, and tingle your toes,
I taste of honey and spring, and a good bit of trouble, But I make the birds sing, and all the stars double.
I can be quick, a mere peck, or slow and divine, And that is probably, the very best kind.โ
โHmmโฆโ he said, as if stumped. โLet me think for a minuteโฆโ He rolled up on one elbow, looking down at me, the stars dusting his cheekbones. โHoney?โ He kissed my forehead. โSpring?โ He kissed my chin. โYou are a good bit of trouble, Kazi of Brightmist.โ
โI try my best.โ
โI may have to take this one slowlyโฆโ His hand traveled leisurely from my waist, across my ribs, to my neck, until he was cupping my cheek. My blood rushed; the stars blurred. โVery slowly โฆ to figure it all out.โ And then his lips pressed, warm and demanding onto to mine, and I hoped it would take him an eternity to solve the riddle.
* * *
Wren, Synovรฉ, and I sat on a stack of lumber, fanning ourselves in the shade and taking a break from leveling a foundation. It was midmorning but already sweltering with the height of summer.
I thought Jase would be gone by now, that all the family would be on their way back home this morning, along with us, but Jase got caught up in discussions with Caemus about the barn and then with Lothar, one of his hired workers he was leaving to supervise the crews, and then when he watched stonemasons moving in to lay the foundation for one of the sheds, he decided it needed to be a bit larger first, and then he paused, eyeing the whole valley, the children swinging from the oak tree, and his gaze fell on the future shed again. He turned to Mason and said, โIโm thinking they need a root cellar too. Why bother with a bigger garden if they have no cool storage? If we put our backs behind it, we should be able to dig it in a few hours.โ
A root cellar?
I wasnโt sure I could believe what I was hearing.
It became a competition between Jase, Mason, and Samuel digging on one side, and Aram, Gunner, and Titus on the other. A slow competition. They were feeling the heat too, their shirts long shed. Sweat glistened on their backs. They stopped to wipe their brows often and drink long gulps of water from buckets brought from the river. Sometimes they just poured the water over their heads.
Synovรฉ was mostly silent, her eyes wide, forgetting to blink. โI swear, Iโve never seen so much beautiful artwork on skin in all my life.โ
โWe should probably get back to work,โ I said.
โHellโs bells we shouldnโt,โ she said firmly. โIโm certain we need to rest a bit longer.โ
We didnโt need much encouragement. None of us moved.
Wren took a long sip of water. โIt looks like a whole flock of beautiful, muscled birds taking flight.โ
Their tattoos were all differentโsome on chests, some on shoulders, backs, or armsโbut they all had some form of the Ballenger crest on them, the wings of eagles fluttering in front of us. I stared at Jaseโs, as taken with it now as the first time I had seen it. Synovรฉ was right; it was a work of art, one that I happily gazed upon.
He looked up, catching me watching him. He smiled and flames shot through my belly. โHalfway done,โ he called.
Halfway.
Thatโs what I felt like. I was halfway between worlds, trying to find a story that fit neatly into both. When the root cellar was finished, he moved onto the barn, and then the waterwheel and a sluice from the river. A day passed, and then another. Four days, four nights. The valley was alive with banging, hammering, and sawing. Gunner went back to Torโs Watch. Titus went back. Aram and Drake went back. There was business to tend to. But Jase stayed. He was giving up tomorrows he didnโt have to spare, tomorrows I had been unable to promise to him.
I began to wonder if Iโd been wrong about everything, wrong about the way they ruled Hellโs Mouth, wrong about their history and place among the kingdoms, wrong about their right to govern. Their work here wasnโt just a grudging gift to fulfill an agreement. It felt like far more. It felt like a wish stalk pressed to a blistered foot, like words spoken under a midnight moon to lull me to sleep.
* * *
We stood together at the cookwagon, waiting in line for our food. Jase was close behind me, his hip brushing mine, a reminder that he was there, and I suddenly thought there were things I was hungrier for than dinner.
โTen?โ
A whisper.
My shoulders went rigid. The question came from somewhere behind me. I didnโt dare turn with recognition, but it came again, louder this time.
โTen?โ
A girl circled in front of me. โIโm sorry, but arenโt you Ten? Iโve been trying to place you ever since the first day, and I just remembered. My family was in Sanctum City for a year whenโโ
I shook my head. โIโm sorry. Youโve mistaken me for someone else.โ โButโโ
โMy nameโs Kazi,โ I said firmly. โBogeve ya.โ Move on.
Her eyes shifted to Jase and then she quickly looked down, as if she realized her mistake. โOf course. Iโm sorry to bother you.โ
โNo bother.โ
โTen?โ Jase said as she walked away. โWhat kind of name is that?โ I shrugged. โI think itโs a highland nameโshort for Tenashe.โ โIโm surprised she didnโt already know that your name was Kazi.โ
โThere are a lot of new names to learn. She probably just got confused.โ
I was grateful that Jaseโs attention turned back to food as the cook cut off a slab of venison for our plates, and I decided I was glad that we were returning to Torโs Watch in the morning after all.
Just before dusk, Aleski rode in with news that made our return more urgent. It was a message from Gunner.ย Come home. A letter has arrived from Venda. The queen is on her way.