It was fortunate for me that I had to take precautions to ensure (so far as I could) the safety of my dreaded visitor; for, this thought pressing on me when I awoke, held other thoughts in a confused concourse at a distance.
The impossibility of keeping him concealed in the chambers was self-evident. It could not be done, and the attempt to do it would inevitably engender suspicion. True, I had no Avenger in my service now, but I was looked after by an inflammatory old female, assisted by an animated rag-bag whom she called her niece, and to keep a room secret from them would be to invite curiosity and exaggeration. They both had weak eyes, which I had long attributed to their chronically looking in at keyholes, and they were always at hand when not wanted; indeed that was their only reliable quality besides larceny. Not to get up a mystery with these people, I resolved to announce in the morning that my uncle had unexpectedly come from the country.
This course I decided on while I was yet groping about in the darkness for the means of getting a light. Not stumbling on the means after all, I was fain to go out to the adjacent Lodge and get the watchman there to come with his lantern. Now, in groping my way down the black staircase I fell over something, and that something was a man crouching in a corner.
As the man made no answer when I asked him what he did there, but eluded my touch in silence, I ran to the Lodge and urged the watchman to come quickly; telling him of the incident on the way back. The wind being as fierce as ever, we did not care to endanger the light in the lantern by rekindling the extinguished lamps on the staircase, but we examined the staircase from the bottom to the top and found no one there. It then occurred to me as possible that the man might have slipped into my rooms; so, lighting my candle at the watchmanโs, and leaving him standing at the door, I examined them carefully, including the room in which my dreaded guest lay asleep. All was quiet, and assuredly no other man was in those chambers.
It troubled me that there should have been a lurker on the stairs, on that night of all nights in the year, and I asked the watchman, on the chance of eliciting some hopeful explanation as I handed him a dram at the door, whether he had admitted at his gate any gentleman who had perceptibly been dining out? Yes, he said; at different times of the night, three. One lived in Fountain Court, and the other two lived in the Lane, and he had seen them all go home. Again, the only other man who dwelt in the house of which my chambers formed a part had been in the country for some weeks, and he certainly had not returned in the night, because we had seen his door with his seal on it as we came upstairs.
โThe night being so bad, sir,โ said the watchman, as he gave me back my glass, โuncommon few have come in at my gate. Besides them three gentlemen that I have named, I donโt call to mind another since about eleven oโclock, when a stranger asked for you.โ
โMy uncle,โ I muttered. โYes.โ
โYou saw him, sir?โ
โYes. Oh yes.โ
โLikewise the person with him?โ
โPerson with him!โ I repeated.
โI judged the person to be with him,โ returned the watchman. โThe person stopped, when he stopped to make inquiry of me, and the person took this way when he took this way.โ
โWhat sort of person?โ
The watchman had not particularly noticed; he should say a working person; to the best of his belief, he had a dust-coloured kind of clothes on, under a dark coat. The watchman made more light of the matter than I did, and naturally; not having my reason for attaching weight to it.
When I had got rid of him, which I thought it well to do without prolonging explanations, my mind was much troubled by these two circumstances taken together. Whereas they were easy of innocent solution apart,โas, for instance, some diner out or diner at home, who had not gone near this watchmanโs gate, might have strayed to my staircase and dropped asleep there,โand my nameless visitor might have brought some one with him to show him the way,โstill, joined, they had an ugly look to one as prone to distrust and fear as the changes of a few hours had made me.
I lighted my fire, which burnt with a raw pale flare at that time of the morning, and fell into a doze before it. I seemed to have been dozing a whole night when the clocks struck six. As there was full an hour and a half between me and daylight, I dozed again; now, waking up uneasily, with prolix conversations about nothing, in my ears; now, making thunder of the wind in the chimney; at length, falling off into a profound sleep from which the daylight woke me with a start.
All this time I had never been able to consider my own situation, nor could I do so yet. I had not the power to attend to it. I was greatly dejected and distressed, but in an incoherent wholesale sort of way. As to forming any plan for the future, I could as soon have formed an elephant. When I opened the shutters and looked out at the wet wild morning, all of a leaden hue; when I walked from room to room; when I sat down again shivering, before the fire, waiting for my laundress to appear; I thought how miserable I was, but hardly knew why, or how long I had been so, or on what day of the week I made the reflection, or even who I was that made it.
At last, the old woman and the niece came in,โthe latter with a head not easily distinguishable from her dusty broom,โand testified surprise at sight of me and the fire. To whom I imparted how my uncle had come in the night and was then asleep, and how the breakfast preparations were to be modified accordingly. Then I washed and dressed while they knocked the furniture about and made a dust; and so, in a sort of dream or sleep-waking, I found myself sitting by the fire again, waiting forโHimโto come to breakfast.
By and by, his door opened and he came out. I could not bring myself to bear the sight of him, and I thought he had a worse look by daylight.
โI do not even know,โ said I, speaking low as he took his seat at the table, โby what name to call you. I have given out that you are my uncle.โ
โThatโs it, dear boy! Call me uncle.โ
โYou assumed some name, I suppose, on board ship?โ
โYes, dear boy. I took the name of Provis.โ
โDo you mean to keep that name?โ
โWhy, yes, dear boy, itโs as good as another,โunless youโd like another.โ
โWhat is your real name?โ I asked him in a whisper.
โMagwitch,โ he answered, in the same tone; โchrisenโd Abel.โ
โWhat were you brought up to be?โ
โA warmint, dear boy.โ
He answered quite seriously, and used the word as if it denoted some profession.
โWhen you came into the Temple last nightโโ said I, pausing to wonder whether that could really have been last night, which seemed so long ago.
โYes, dear boy?โ
โWhen you came in at the gate and asked the watchman the way here, had you any one with you?โ
โWith me? No, dear boy.โ
โBut there was some one there?โ
โI didnโt take particular notice,โ he said, dubiously, โnot knowing the ways of the place. But I think thereย wasย a person, too, come in alonger me.โ
โAre you known in London?โ
โI hope not!โ said he, giving his neck a jerk with his forefinger that made me turn hot and sick.
โWere you known in London, once?โ
โNot over and above, dear boy. I was in the provinces mostly.โ
โWere youโtriedโin London?โ
โWhich time?โ said he, with a sharp look.
โThe last time.โ
He nodded. โFirst knowed Mr. Jaggers that way. Jaggers was for me.โ
It was on my lips to ask him what he was tried for, but he took up a knife, gave it a flourish, and with the words, โAnd what I done is worked out and paid for!โ fell to at his breakfast.
He ate in a ravenous way that was very disagreeable, and all his actions were uncouth, noisy, and greedy. Some of his teeth had failed him since I saw him eat on the marshes, and as he turned his food in his mouth, and turned his head sideways to bring his strongest fangs to bear upon it, he looked terribly like a hungry old dog. If I had begun with any appetite, he would have taken it away, and I should have sat much as I did,โrepelled from him by an insurmountable aversion, and gloomily looking at the cloth.
โIโm a heavy grubber, dear boy,โ he said, as a polite kind of apology when he made an end of his meal, โbut I always was. If it had been in my constitution to be a lighter grubber, I might haโ got into lighter trouble. Similarly, I must have my smoke. When I was first hired out as shepherd tโother side the world, itโs my belief I should haโ turned into a molloncolly-mad sheep myself, if I hadnโt a had my smoke.โ
As he said so, he got up from table, and putting his hand into the breast of the pea-coat he wore, brought out a short black pipe, and a handful of loose tobacco of the kind that is called Negro-head. Having filled his pipe, he put the surplus tobacco back again, as if his pocket were a drawer. Then, he took a live coal from the fire with the tongs, and lighted his pipe at it, and then turned round on the hearth-rug with his back to the fire, and went through his favourite action of holding out both his hands for mine.
โAnd this,โ said he, dandling my hands up and down in his, as he puffed at his pipe,โโand this is the gentleman what I made! The real genuine One! It does me good fur to look at you, Pip. All I stipโlate, is, to stand by and look at you, dear boy!โ
I released my hands as soon as I could, and found that I was beginning slowly to settle down to the contemplation of my condition. What I was chained to, and how heavily, became intelligible to me, as I heard his hoarse voice, and sat looking up at his furrowed bald head with its iron grey hair at the sides.
โI mustnโt see my gentleman a footing it in the mire of the streets; there mustnโt be no mud onย hisย boots. My gentleman must have horses, Pip! Horses to ride, and horses to drive, and horses for his servant to ride and drive as well. Shall colonists have their horses (and blood โuns, if you please, good Lord!) and not my London gentleman? No, no. Weโll show โem another pair of shoes than that, Pip; wonโt us?โ
He took out of his pocket a great thick pocket-book, bursting with papers, and tossed it on the table.
โThereโs something worth spending in that there book, dear boy. Itโs yourn. All Iโve got ainโt mine; itโs yourn. Donโt you be afeerd on it. Thereโs more where that come from. Iโve come to the old country fur to see my gentleman spend his moneyย likeย a gentleman. Thatโll beย myย pleasure.ย Myย pleasure โull be fur to see him do it. And blast you all!โ he wound up, looking round the room and snapping his fingers once with a loud snap, โblast you every one, from the judge in his wig, to the colonist a stirring up the dust, Iโll show a better gentleman than the whole kit on you put together!โ
โStop!โ said I, almost in a frenzy of fear and dislike, โI want to speak to you. I want to know what is to be done. I want to know how you are to be kept out of danger, how long you are going to stay, what projects you have.โ
โLookโee here, Pip,โ said he, laying his hand on my arm in a suddenly altered and subdued manner; โfirst of all, lookโee here. I forgot myself half a minute ago. What I said was low; thatโs what it was; low. Lookโee here, Pip. Look over it. I ainโt a-going to be low.โ
โFirst,โ I resumed, half groaning, โwhat precautions can be taken against your being recognised and seized?โ
โNo, dear boy,โ he said, in the same tone as before, โthat donโt go first. Lowness goes first. I ainโt took so many year to make a gentleman, not without knowing whatโs due to him. Lookโee here, Pip. I was low; thatโs what I was; low. Look over it, dear boy.โ
Some sense of the grimly-ludicrous moved me to a fretful laugh, as I replied, โIย haveย looked over it. In Heavenโs name, donโt harp upon it!โ
โYes, but lookโee here,โ he persisted. โDear boy, I ainโt come so fur, not fur to be low. Now, go on, dear boy. You was a sayingโโ
โHow are you to be guarded from the danger you have incurred?โ
โWell, dear boy, the danger ainโt so great. Without I was informed agen, the danger ainโt so much to signify. Thereโs Jaggers, and thereโs Wemmick, and thereโs you. Who else is there to inform?โ
โIs there no chance person who might identify you in the street?โ said I.
โWell,โ he returned, โthere ainโt many. Nor yet I donโt intend to advertise myself in the newspapers by the name of A.M. come back from Botany Bay; and years have rolled away, and whoโs to gain by it? Still, lookโee here, Pip. If the danger had been fifty times as great, I should haโ come to see you, mind you, just the same.โ
โAnd how long do you remain?โ
โHow long?โ said he, taking his black pipe from his mouth, and dropping his jaw as he stared at me. โIโm not a-going back. Iโve come for good.โ
โWhere are you to live?โ said I. โWhat is to be done with you? Where will you be safe?โ
โDear boy,โ he returned, โthereโs disguising wigs can be bought for money, and thereโs hair powder, and spectacles, and black clothes,โshorts and what not. Others has done it safe afore, and what others has done afore, others can do agen. As to the where and how of living, dear boy, give me your own opinions on it.โ
โYou take it smoothly now,โ said I, โbut you were very serious last night, when you swore it was Death.โ
โAnd so I swear it is Death,โ said he, putting his pipe back in his mouth, โand Death by the rope, in the open street not fur from this, and itโs serious that you should fully understand it to be so. What then, when thatโs once done? Here I am. To go back now โud be as bad as to stand groundโworse. Besides, Pip, Iโm here, because Iโve meant it by you, years and years. As to what I dare, Iโm a old bird now, as has dared all manner of traps since first he was fledged, and Iโm not afeerd to perch upon a scarecrow. If thereโs Death hid inside of it, there is, and let him come out, and Iโll face him, and then Iโll believe in him and not afore. And now let me have a look at my gentleman agen.โ
Once more, he took me by both hands and surveyed me with an air of admiring proprietorship: smoking with great complacency all the while.
It appeared to me that I could do no better than secure him some quiet lodging hard by, of which he might take possession when Herbert returned: whom I expected in two or three days. That the secret must be confided to Herbert as a matter of unavoidable necessity, even if I could have put the immense relief I should derive from sharing it with him out of the question, was plain to me. But it was by no means so plain to Mr. Provis (I resolved to call him by that name), who reserved his consent to Herbertโs participation until he should have seen him and formed a favourable judgment of his physiognomy. โAnd even then, dear boy,โ said he, pulling a greasy little clasped black Testament out of his pocket, โweโll have him on his oath.โ
To state that my terrible patron carried this little black book about the world solely to swear people on in cases of emergency, would be to state what I never quite established; but this I can say, that I never knew him put it to any other use. The book itself had the appearance of having been stolen from some court of justice, and perhaps his knowledge of its antecedents, combined with his own experience in that wise, gave him a reliance on its powers as a sort of legal spell or charm. On this first occasion of his producing it, I recalled how he had made me swear fidelity in the churchyard long ago, and how he had described himself last night as always swearing to his resolutions in his solitude.
As he was at present dressed in a seafaring slop suit, in which he looked as if he had some parrots and cigars to dispose of, I next discussed with him what dress he should wear. He cherished an extraordinary belief in the virtues of โshortsโ as a disguise, and had in his own mind sketched a dress for himself that would have made him something between a dean and a dentist. It was with considerable difficulty that I won him over to the assumption of a dress more like a prosperous farmerโs; and we arranged that he should cut his hair close, and wear a little powder. Lastly, as he had not yet been seen by the laundress or her niece, he was to keep himself out of their view until his change of dress was made.
It would seem a simple matter to decide on these precautions; but in my dazed, not to say distracted, state, it took so long, that I did not get out to further them until two or three in the afternoon. He was to remain shut up in the chambers while I was gone, and was on no account to open the door.
There being to my knowledge a respectable lodging-house in Essex Street, the back of which looked into the Temple, and was almost within hail of my windows, I first of all repaired to that house, and was so fortunate as to secure the second floor for my uncle, Mr. Provis. I then went from shop to shop, making such purchases as were necessary to the change in his appearance. This business transacted, I turned my face, on my own account, to Little Britain. Mr. Jaggers was at his desk, but, seeing me enter, got up immediately and stood before his fire.
โNow, Pip,โ said he, โbe careful.โ
โI will, sir,โ I returned. For, coming along I had thought well of what I was going to say.
โDonโt commit yourself,โ said Mr. Jaggers, โand donโt commit any one. You understandโany one. Donโt tell me anything: I donโt want to know anything; I am not curious.โ
Of course I saw that he knew the man was come.
โI merely want, Mr. Jaggers,โ said I, โto assure myself that what I have been told is true. I have no hope of its being untrue, but at least I may verify it.โ
Mr. Jaggers nodded. โBut did you say โtoldโ or โinformedโ?โ he asked me, with his head on one side, and not looking at me, but looking in a listening way at the floor. โTold would seem to imply verbal communication. You canโt have verbal communication with a man in New South Wales, you know.โ
โI will say, informed, Mr. Jaggers.โ
โGood.โ
โI have been informed by a person named Abel Magwitch, that he is the benefactor so long unknown to me.โ
โThat is the man,โ said Mr. Jaggers, โin New South Wales.โ
โAnd only he?โ said I.
โAnd only he,โ said Mr. Jaggers.
โI am not so unreasonable, sir, as to think you at all responsible for my mistakes and wrong conclusions; but I always supposed it was Miss Havisham.โ
โAs you say, Pip,โ returned Mr. Jaggers, turning his eyes upon me coolly, and taking a bite at his forefinger, โI am not at all responsible for that.โ
โAnd yet it looked so like it, sir,โ I pleaded with a downcast heart.
โNot a particle of evidence, Pip,โ said Mr. Jaggers, shaking his head and gathering up his skirts. โTake nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. Thereโs no better rule.โ
โI have no more to say,โ said I, with a sigh, after standing silent for a little while. โI have verified my information, and thereโs an end.โ
โAnd Magwitchโin New South Walesโhaving at last disclosed himself,โ said Mr. Jaggers, โyou will comprehend, Pip, how rigidly throughout my communication with you, I have always adhered to the strict line of fact. There has never been the least departure from the strict line of fact. You are quite aware of that?โ
โQuite, sir.โ
โI communicated to Magwitchโin New South Walesโwhen he first wrote to meโfrom New South Walesโthe caution that he must not expect me ever to deviate from the strict line of fact. I also communicated to him another caution. He appeared to me to have obscurely hinted in his letter at some distant idea he had of seeing you in England here. I cautioned him that I must hear no more of that; that he was not at all likely to obtain a pardon; that he was expatriated for the term of his natural life; and that his presenting himself in this country would be an act of felony, rendering him liable to the extreme penalty of the law. I gave Magwitch that caution,โ said Mr. Jaggers, looking hard at me; โI wrote it to New South Wales. He guided himself by it, no doubt.โ
โNo doubt,โ said I.
โI have been informed by Wemmick,โ pursued Mr. Jaggers, still looking hard at me, โthat he has received a letter, under date Portsmouth, from a colonist of the name of Purvis, orโโ
โOr Provis,โ I suggested.
โOr Provisโthank you, Pip. Perhaps itย isย Provis? Perhaps you know itโs Provis?โ
โYes,โ said I.
โYou know itโs Provis. A letter, under date Portsmouth, from a colonist of the name of Provis, asking for the particulars of your address, on behalf of Magwitch. Wemmick sent him the particulars, I understand, by return of post. Probably it is through Provis that you have received the explanation of Magwitchโin New South Wales?โ
โIt came through Provis,โ I replied.
โGood day, Pip,โ said Mr. Jaggers, offering his hand; โglad to have seen you. In writing by post to Magwitchโin New South Walesโor in communicating with him through Provis, have the goodness to mention that the particulars and vouchers of our long account shall be sent to you, together with the balance; for there is still a balance remaining. Good-day, Pip!โ
We shook hands, and he looked hard at me as long as he could see me. I turned at the door, and he was still looking hard at me, while the two vile casts on the shelf seemed to be trying to get their eyelids open, and to force out of their swollen throats, โO, what a man he is!โ
Wemmick was out, and though he had been at his desk he could have done nothing for me. I went straight back to the Temple, where I found the terrible Provis drinking rum and water and smoking negro-head, in safety.
Next day the clothes I had ordered all came home, and he put them on. Whatever he put on, became him less (it dismally seemed to me) than what he had worn before. To my thinking, there was something in him that made it hopeless to attempt to disguise him. The more I dressed him and the better I dressed him, the more he looked like the slouching fugitive on the marshes. This effect on my anxious fancy was partly referable, no doubt, to his old face and manner growing more familiar to me; but I believe too that he dragged one of his legs as if there were still a weight of iron on it, and that from head to foot there was Convict in the very grain of the man.
The influences of his solitary hut-life were upon him besides, and gave him a savage air that no dress could tame; added to these were the influences of his subsequent branded life among men, and, crowning all, his consciousness that he was dodging and hiding now. In all his ways of sitting and standing, and eating and drinking,โof brooding about in a high-shouldered reluctant style,โof taking out his great horn-handled jackknife and wiping it on his legs and cutting his food,โof lifting light glasses and cups to his lips, as if they were clumsy pannikins,โof chopping a wedge off his bread, and soaking up with it the last fragments of gravy round and round his plate, as if to make the most of an allowance, and then drying his finger-ends on it, and then swallowing it,โin these ways and a thousand other small nameless instances arising every minute in the day, there was Prisoner, Felon, Bondsman, plain as plain could be.
It had been his own idea to wear that touch of powder, and I had conceded the powder after overcoming the shorts. But I can compare the effect of it, when on, to nothing but the probable effect of rouge upon the dead; so awful was the manner in which everything in him that it was most desirable to repress, started through that thin layer of pretence, and seemed to come blazing out at the crown of his head. It was abandoned as soon as tried, and he wore his grizzled hair cut short.
Words cannot tell what a sense I had, at the same time, of the dreadful mystery that he was to me. When he fell asleep of an evening, with his knotted hands clenching the sides of the easy-chair, and his bald head tattooed with deep wrinkles falling forward on his breast, I would sit and look at him, wondering what he had done, and loading him with all the crimes in the Calendar, until the impulse was powerful on me to start up and fly from him. Every hour so increased my abhorrence of him, that I even think I might have yielded to this impulse in the first agonies of being so haunted, notwithstanding all he had done for me and the risk he ran, but for the knowledge that Herbert must soon come back. Once, I actually did start out of bed in the night, and begin to dress myself in my worst clothes, hurriedly intending to leave him there with everything else I possessed, and enlist for India as a private soldier.
I doubt if a ghost could have been more terrible to me, up in those lonely rooms in the long evenings and long nights, with the wind and the rain always rushing by. A ghost could not have been taken and hanged on my account, and the consideration that he could be, and the dread that he would be, were no small addition to my horrors. When he was not asleep, or playing a complicated kind of Patience with a ragged pack of cards of his own,โa game that I never saw before or since, and in which he recorded his winnings by sticking his jackknife into the table,โwhen he was not engaged in either of these pursuits, he would ask me to read to him,โโForeign language, dear boy!โ While I complied, he, not comprehending a single word, would stand before the fire surveying me with the air of an Exhibitor, and I would see him, between the fingers of the hand with which I shaded my face, appealing in dumb show to the furniture to take notice of my proficiency. The imaginary student pursued by the misshapen creature he had impiously made, was not more wretched than I, pursued by the creature who had made me, and recoiling from him with a stronger repulsion, the more he admired me and the fonder he was of me.
This is written of, I am sensible, as if it had lasted a year. It lasted about five days. Expecting Herbert all the time, I dared not go out, except when I took Provis for an airing after dark. At length, one evening when dinner was over and I had dropped into a slumber quite worn out,โfor my nights had been agitated and my rest broken by fearful dreams,โI was roused by the welcome footstep on the staircase. Provis, who had been asleep too, staggered up at the noise I made, and in an instant I saw his jackknife shining in his hand.
โQuiet! Itโs Herbert!โ I said; and Herbert came bursting in, with the airy freshness of six hundred miles of France upon him.
โHandel, my dear fellow, how are you, and again how are you, and again how are you? I seem to have been gone a twelvemonth! Why, so I must have been, for you have grown quite thin and pale! Handel, myโHalloa! I beg your pardon.โ
He was stopped in his running on and in his shaking hands with me, by seeing Provis. Provis, regarding him with a fixed attention, was slowly putting up his jackknife, and groping in another pocket for something else.
โHerbert, my dear friend,โ said I, shutting the double doors, while Herbert stood staring and wondering, โsomething very strange has happened. This isโa visitor of mine.โ
โItโs all right, dear boy!โ said Provis coming forward, with his little clasped black book, and then addressing himself to Herbert. โTake it in your right hand. Lord strike you dead on the spot, if ever you split in any way sumever! Kiss it!โ
โDo so, as he wishes it,โ I said to Herbert. So, Herbert, looking at me with a friendly uneasiness and amazement, complied, and Provis immediately shaking hands with him, said, โNow youโre on your oath, you know. And never believe me on mine, if Pip shanโt make a gentleman on you!โ