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Chapter no 22

Great Expectations

The pale young gentleman and I stood contemplating one another in Barnardโ€™s Inn, until we both burst out laughing. โ€œThe idea of its being you!โ€ said he. โ€œThe idea of its beingย you!โ€ said I. And then we contemplated one another afresh, and laughed again. โ€œWell!โ€ said the pale young gentleman, reaching out his hand good-humouredly, โ€œitโ€™s all over now, I hope, and it will be magnanimous in you if youโ€™ll forgive me for having knocked you about so.โ€

I derived from this speech that Mr. Herbert Pocket (for Herbert was the pale young gentlemanโ€™s name) still rather confounded his intention with his execution. But I made a modest reply, and we shook hands warmly.

โ€œYou hadnโ€™t come into your good fortune at that time?โ€ said Herbert Pocket.

โ€œNo,โ€ said I.

โ€œNo,โ€ he acquiesced: โ€œI heard it had happened very lately.ย Iย was rather on the lookout for good fortune then.โ€

โ€œIndeed?โ€

โ€œYes. Miss Havisham had sent for me, to see if she could take a fancy to me. But she couldnโ€™t,โ€”at all events, she didnโ€™t.โ€

I thought it polite to remark that I was surprised to hear that.

โ€œBad taste,โ€ said Herbert, laughing, โ€œbut a fact. Yes, she had sent for me on a trial visit, and if I had come out of it successfully, I suppose I should have been provided for; perhaps I should have been what-you-may-called it to Estella.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s that?โ€ I asked, with sudden gravity.

He was arranging his fruit in plates while we talked, which divided his attention, and was the cause of his having made this lapse of a word. โ€œAffianced,โ€ he explained, still busy with the fruit. โ€œBetrothed. Engaged. Whatโ€™s-his-named. Any word of that sort.โ€

โ€œHow did you bear your disappointment?โ€ I asked.

โ€œPooh!โ€ said he, โ€œI didnโ€™t care much for it.ย Sheโ€™sย a Tartar.โ€

โ€œMiss Havisham?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t say no to that, but I meant Estella. That girlโ€™s hard and haughty and capricious to the last degree, and has been brought up by Miss Havisham to wreak revenge on all the male s*x.โ€

โ€œWhat relation is she to Miss Havisham?โ€

โ€œNone,โ€ said he. โ€œOnly adopted.โ€

โ€œWhy should she wreak revenge on all the male s*x? What revenge?โ€

โ€œLord, Mr. Pip!โ€ said he. โ€œDonโ€™t you know?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ said I.

โ€œDear me! Itโ€™s quite a story, and shall be saved till dinner-time. And now let me take the liberty of asking you a question. How did you come there, that day?โ€

I told him, and he was attentive until I had finished, and then burst out laughing again, and asked me if I was sore afterwards? I didnโ€™t ask him ifย heย was, for my conviction on that point was perfectly established.

โ€œMr. Jaggers is your guardian, I understand?โ€ he went on.

โ€œYes.โ€

โ€œYou know he is Miss Havishamโ€™s man of business and solicitor, and has her confidence when nobody else has?โ€

This was bringing me (I felt) towards dangerous ground. I answered with a constraint I made no attempt to disguise, that I had seen Mr. Jaggers in Miss Havishamโ€™s house on the very day of our combat, but never at any other time, and that I believed he had no recollection of having ever seen me there.

โ€œHe was so obliging as to suggest my father for your tutor, and he called on my father to propose it. Of course he knew about my father from his connection with Miss Havisham. My father is Miss Havishamโ€™s cousin; not that that implies familiar intercourse between them, for he is a bad courtier and will not propitiate her.โ€

Herbert Pocket had a frank and easy way with him that was very taking. I had never seen any one then, and I have never seen any one since, who more strongly expressed to me, in every look and tone, a natural incapacity to do anything secret and mean. There was something wonderfully hopeful about his general air, and something that at the same time whispered to me he would never be very successful or rich. I donโ€™t know how this was. I became imbued with the notion on that first occasion before we sat down to dinner, but I cannot define by what means.

He was still a pale young gentleman, and had a certain conquered languor about him in the midst of his spirits and briskness, that did not seem indicative of natural strength. He had not a handsome face, but it was better than handsome: being extremely amiable and cheerful. His figure was a little ungainly, as in the days when my knuckles had taken such liberties with it, but it looked as if it would always be light and young. Whether Mr. Trabbโ€™s local work would have sat more gracefully on him than on me, may be a question; but I am conscious that he carried off his rather old clothes much better than I carried off my new suit.

As he was so communicative, I felt that reserve on my part would be a bad return unsuited to our years. I therefore told him my small story, and laid stress on my being forbidden to inquire who my benefactor was. I further mentioned that as I had been brought up a blacksmith in a country place, and knew very little of the ways of politeness, I would take it as a great kindness in him if he would give me a hint whenever he saw me at a loss or going wrong.

โ€œWith pleasure,โ€ said he, โ€œthough I venture to prophesy that youโ€™ll want very few hints. I dare say we shall be often together, and I should like to banish any needless restraint between us. Will you do me the favour to begin at once to call me by my Christian name, Herbert?โ€

I thanked him and said I would. I informed him in exchange that my Christian name was Philip.

โ€œI donโ€™t take to Philip,โ€ said he, smiling, โ€œfor it sounds like a moral boy out of the spelling-book, who was so lazy that he fell into a pond, or so fat that he couldnโ€™t see out of his eyes, or so avaricious that he locked up his cake till the mice ate it, or so determined to go a birdโ€™s-nesting that he got himself eaten by bears who lived handy in the neighbourhood. I tell you what I should like. We are so harmonious, and you have been a blacksmith,โ€”would you mind it?โ€

โ€œI shouldnโ€™t mind anything that you propose,โ€ I answered, โ€œbut I donโ€™t understand you.โ€

โ€œWould you mind Handel for a familiar name? Thereโ€™s a charming piece of music by Handel, called the Harmonious Blacksmith.โ€

โ€œI should like it very much.โ€

โ€œThen, my dear Handel,โ€ said he, turning round as the door opened, โ€œhere is the dinner, and I must beg of you to take the top of the table, because the dinner is of your providing.โ€

This I would not hear of, so he took the top, and I faced him. It was a nice little dinner,โ€”seemed to me then a very Lord Mayorโ€™s Feast,โ€”and it acquired additional relish from being eaten under those independent circumstances, with no old people by, and with London all around us. This again was heightened by a certain gypsy character that set the banquet off; for while the table was, as Mr. Pumblechook might have said, the lap of luxury,โ€”being entirely furnished forth from the coffee-house,โ€”the circumjacent region of sitting-room was of a comparatively pastureless and shifty character; imposing on the waiter the wandering habits of putting the covers on the floor (where he fell over them), the melted butter in the arm-chair, the bread on the bookshelves, the cheese in the coal-scuttle, and the boiled fowl into my bed in the next room,โ€”where I found much of its parsley and butter in a state of congelation when I retired for the night. All this made the feast delightful, and when the waiter was not there to watch me, my pleasure was without alloy.

We had made some progress in the dinner, when I reminded Herbert of his promise to tell me about Miss Havisham.

โ€œTrue,โ€ he replied. โ€œIโ€™ll redeem it at once. Let me introduce the topic, Handel, by mentioning that in London it is not the custom to put the knife in the mouth,โ€”for fear of accidents,โ€”and that while the fork is reserved for that use, it is not put further in than necessary. It is scarcely worth mentioning, only itโ€™s as well to do as other people do. Also, the spoon is not generally used over-hand, but under. This has two advantages. You get at your mouth better (which after all is the object), and you save a good deal of the attitude of opening oysters, on the part of the right elbow.โ€

He offered these friendly suggestions in such a lively way, that we both laughed and I scarcely blushed.

โ€œNow,โ€ he pursued, โ€œconcerning Miss Havisham. Miss Havisham, you must know, was a spoilt child. Her mother died when she was a baby, and her father denied her nothing. Her father was a country gentleman down in your part of the world, and was a brewer. I donโ€™t know why it should be a crack thing to be a brewer; but it is indisputable that while you cannot possibly be genteel and bake, you may be as genteel as never was and brew. You see it every day.โ€

โ€œYet a gentleman may not keep a public-house; may he?โ€ said I.

โ€œNot on any account,โ€ returned Herbert; โ€œbut a public-house may keep a gentleman. Well! Mr. Havisham was very rich and very proud. So was his daughter.โ€

โ€œMiss Havisham was an only child?โ€ I hazarded.

โ€œStop a moment, I am coming to that. No, she was not an only child; she had a half-brother. Her father privately married againโ€”his cook, I rather think.โ€

โ€œI thought he was proud,โ€ said I.

โ€œMy good Handel, so he was. He married his second wife privately, because he was proud, and in course of timeย sheย died. When she was dead, I apprehend he first told his daughter what he had done, and then the son became a part of the family, residing in the house you are acquainted with. As the son grew a young man, he turned out riotous, extravagant, undutiful,โ€”altogether bad. At last his father disinherited him; but he softened when he was dying, and left him well off, though not nearly so well off as Miss Havisham.โ€”Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying oneโ€™s glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on oneโ€™s nose.โ€

I had been doing this, in an excess of attention to his recital. I thanked him, and apologised. He said, โ€œNot at all,โ€ and resumed.

โ€œMiss Havisham was now an heiress, and you may suppose was looked after as a great match. Her half-brother had now ample means again, but what with debts and what with new madness wasted them most fearfully again. There were stronger differences between him and her than there had been between him and his father, and it is suspected that he cherished a deep and mortal grudge against her as having influenced the fatherโ€™s anger. Now, I come to the cruel part of the story,โ€”merely breaking off, my dear Handel, to remark that a dinner-napkin will not go into a tumbler.โ€

Why I was trying to pack mine into my tumbler, I am wholly unable to say. I only know that I found myself, with a perseverance worthy of a much better cause, making the most strenuous exertions to compress it within those limits. Again I thanked him and apologised, and again he said in the cheerfullest manner, โ€œNot at all, I am sure!โ€ and resumed.

โ€œThere appeared upon the sceneโ€”say at the races, or the public balls, or anywhere else you likeโ€”a certain man, who made love to Miss Havisham. I never saw him (for this happened five-and-twenty years ago, before you and I were, Handel), but I have heard my father mention that he was a showy man, and the kind of man for the purpose. But that he was not to be, without ignorance or prejudice, mistaken for a gentleman, my father most strongly asseverates; because it is a principle of his that no man who was not a true gentleman at heart ever was, since the world began, a true gentleman in manner. He says, no varnish can hide the grain of the wood; and that the more varnish you put on, the more the grain will express itself. Well! This man pursued Miss Havisham closely, and professed to be devoted to her. I believe she had not shown much susceptibility up to that time; but all the susceptibility she possessed certainly came out then, and she passionately loved him. There is no doubt that she perfectly idolized him. He practised on her affection in that systematic way, that he got great sums of money from her, and he induced her to buy her brother out of a share in the brewery (which had been weakly left him by his father) at an immense price, on the plea that when he was her husband he must hold and manage it all. Your guardian was not at that time in Miss Havishamโ€™s counsels, and she was too haughty and too much in love to be advised by any one. Her relations were poor and scheming, with the exception of my father; he was poor enough, but not time-serving or jealous. The only independent one among them, he warned her that she was doing too much for this man, and was placing herself too unreservedly in his power. She took the first opportunity of angrily ordering my father out of the house, in his presence, and my father has never seen her since.โ€

I thought of her having said, โ€œMatthew will come and see me at last when I am laid dead upon that table;โ€ and I asked Herbert whether his father was so inveterate against her?

โ€œItโ€™s not that,โ€ said he, โ€œbut she charged him, in the presence of her intended husband, with being disappointed in the hope of fawning upon her for his own advancement, and, if he were to go to her now, it would look trueโ€”even to himโ€”and even to her. To return to the man and make an end of him. The marriage day was fixed, the wedding dresses were bought, the wedding tour was planned out, the wedding guests were invited. The day came, but not the bridegroom. He wrote her a letterโ€”โ€

โ€œWhich she received,โ€ I struck in, โ€œwhen she was dressing for her marriage? At twenty minutes to nine?โ€

โ€œAt the hour and minute,โ€ said Herbert, nodding, โ€œat which she afterwards stopped all the clocks. What was in it, further than that it most heartlessly broke the marriage off, I canโ€™t tell you, because I donโ€™t know. When she recovered from a bad illness that she had, she laid the whole place waste, as you have seen it, and she has never since looked upon the light of day.โ€

โ€œIs that all the story?โ€ I asked, after considering it.

โ€œAll I know of it; and indeed I only know so much, through piecing it out for myself; for my father always avoids it, and, even when Miss Havisham invited me to go there, told me no more of it than it was absolutely requisite I should understand. But I have forgotten one thing. It has been supposed that the man to whom she gave her misplaced confidence acted throughout in concert with her half-brother; that it was a conspiracy between them; and that they shared the profits.โ€

โ€œI wonder he didnโ€™t marry her and get all the property,โ€ said I.

โ€œHe may have been married already, and her cruel mortification may have been a part of her half-brotherโ€™s scheme,โ€ said Herbert. โ€œMind! I donโ€™t know that.โ€

โ€œWhat became of the two men?โ€ I asked, after again considering the subject.

โ€œThey fell into deeper shame and degradationโ€”if there can be deeperโ€”and ruin.โ€

โ€œAre they alive now?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€

โ€œYou said just now that Estella was not related to Miss Havisham, but adopted. When adopted?โ€

Herbert shrugged his shoulders. โ€œThere has always been an Estella, since I have heard of a Miss Havisham. I know no more. And now, Handel,โ€ said he, finally throwing off the story as it were, โ€œthere is a perfectly open understanding between us. All that I know about Miss Havisham, you know.โ€

โ€œAnd all that I know,โ€ I retorted, โ€œyou know.โ€

โ€œI fully believe it. So there can be no competition or perplexity between you and me. And as to the condition on which you hold your advancement in life,โ€”namely, that you are not to inquire or discuss to whom you owe it,โ€”you may be very sure that it will never be encroached upon, or even approached, by me, or by any one belonging to me.โ€

In truth, he said this with so much delicacy, that I felt the subject done with, even though I should be under his fatherโ€™s roof for years and years to come. Yet he said it with so much meaning, too, that I felt he as perfectly understood Miss Havisham to be my benefactress, as I understood the fact myself.

It had not occurred to me before, that he had led up to the theme for the purpose of clearing it out of our way; but we were so much the lighter and easier for having broached it, that I now perceived this to be the case. We were very gay and sociable, and I asked him, in the course of conversation, what he was? He replied, โ€œA capitalist,โ€”an Insurer of Ships.โ€ I suppose he saw me glancing about the room in search of some tokens of Shipping, or capital, for he added, โ€œIn the City.โ€

I had grand ideas of the wealth and importance of Insurers of Ships in the City, and I began to think with awe of having laid a young Insurer on his back, blackened his enterprising eye, and cut his responsible head open. But again there came upon me, for my relief, that odd impression that Herbert Pocket would never be very successful or rich.

โ€œI shall not rest satisfied with merely employing my capital in insuring ships. I shall buy up some good Life Assurance shares, and cut into the Direction. I shall also do a little in the mining way. None of these things will interfere with my chartering a few thousand tons on my own account. I think I shall trade,โ€ said he, leaning back in his chair, โ€œto the East Indies, for silks, shawls, spices, dyes, drugs, and precious woods. Itโ€™s an interesting trade.โ€

โ€œAnd the profits are large?โ€ said I.

โ€œTremendous!โ€ said he.

I wavered again, and began to think here were greater expectations than my own.

[Illustration]

โ€œI think I shall trade, also,โ€ said he, putting his thumbs in his waist-coat pockets, โ€œto the West Indies, for sugar, tobacco, and rum. Also to Ceylon, especially for elephantsโ€™ tusks.โ€

โ€œYou will want a good many ships,โ€ said I.

โ€œA perfect fleet,โ€ said he.

Quite overpowered by the magnificence of these transactions, I asked him where the ships he insured mostly traded to at present?

โ€œI havenโ€™t begun insuring yet,โ€ he replied. โ€œI am looking about me.โ€

Somehow, that pursuit seemed more in keeping with Barnardโ€™s Inn. I said (in a tone of conviction), โ€œAh-h!โ€

โ€œYes. I am in a counting-house, and looking about me.โ€

โ€œIs a counting-house profitable?โ€ I asked.

โ€œToโ€”do you mean to the young fellow whoโ€™s in it?โ€ he asked, in reply.

โ€œYes; to you.โ€

โ€œWhy, n-no; not to me.โ€ He said this with the air of one carefully reckoning up and striking a balance. โ€œNot directly profitable. That is, it doesnโ€™t pay me anything, and I have toโ€”keep myself.โ€

This certainly had not a profitable appearance, and I shook my head as if I would imply that it would be difficult to lay by much accumulative capital from such a source of income.

โ€œBut the thing is,โ€ said Herbert Pocket, โ€œthat you look about you.ย Thatโ€™sย the grand thing. You are in a counting-house, you know, and you look about you.โ€

It struck me as a singular implication that you couldnโ€™t be out of a counting-house, you know, and look about you; but I silently deferred to his experience.

โ€œThen the time comes,โ€ said Herbert, โ€œwhen you see your opening. And you go in, and you swoop upon it and you make your capital, and then there you are! When you have once made your capital, you have nothing to do but employ it.โ€

This was very like his way of conducting that encounter in the garden; very like. His manner of bearing his poverty, too, exactly corresponded to his manner of bearing that defeat. It seemed to me that he took all blows and buffets now with just the same air as he had taken mine then. It was evident that he had nothing around him but the simplest necessaries, for everything that I remarked upon turned out to have been sent in on my account from the coffee-house or somewhere else.

Yet, having already made his fortune in his own mind, he was so unassuming with it that I felt quite grateful to him for not being puffed up. It was a pleasant addition to his naturally pleasant ways, and we got on famously. In the evening we went out for a walk in the streets, and went half-price to the Theatre; and next day we went to church at Westminster Abbey, and in the afternoon we walked in the Parks; and I wondered who shod all the horses there, and wished Joe did.

On a moderate computation, it was many months, that Sunday, since I had left Joe and Biddy. The space interposed between myself and them partook of that expansion, and our marshes were any distance off. That I could have been at our old church in my old church-going clothes, on the very last Sunday that ever was, seemed a combination of impossibilities, geographical and social, solar and lunar. Yet in the London streets so crowded with people and so brilliantly lighted in the dusk of evening, there were depressing hints of reproaches for that I had put the poor old kitchen at home so far away; and in the dead of night, the footsteps of some incapable impostor of a porter mooning about Barnardโ€™s Inn, under pretence of watching it, fell hollow on my heart.

On the Monday morning at a quarter before nine, Herbert went to the counting-house to report himself,โ€”to look about him, too, I suppose,โ€”and I bore him company. He was to come away in an hour or two to attend me to Hammersmith, and I was to wait about for him. It appeared to me that the eggs from which young Insurers were hatched were incubated in dust and heat, like the eggs of ostriches, judging from the places to which those incipient giants repaired on a Monday morning. Nor did the counting-house where Herbert assisted, show in my eyes as at all a good Observatory; being a back second floor up a yard, of a grimy presence in all particulars, and with a look into another back second floor, rather than a look out.

I waited about until it was noon, and I went upon โ€™Change, and I saw fluey men sitting there under the bills about shipping, whom I took to be great merchants, though I couldnโ€™t understand why they should all be out of spirits. When Herbert came, we went and had lunch at a celebrated house which I then quite venerated, but now believe to have been the most abject superstition in Europe, and where I could not help noticing, even then, that there was much more gravy on the tablecloths and knives and waitersโ€™ clothes, than in the steaks. This collation disposed of at a moderate price (considering the grease, which was not charged for), we went back to Barnardโ€™s Inn and got my little portmanteau, and then took coach for Hammersmith. We arrived there at two or three oโ€™clock in the afternoon, and had very little way to walk to Mr. Pocketโ€™s house. Lifting the latch of a gate, we passed direct into a little garden overlooking the river, where Mr. Pocketโ€™s children were playing about. And unless I deceive myself on a point where my interests or prepossessions are certainly not concerned, I saw that Mr. and Mrs. Pocketโ€™s children were not growing up or being brought up, but were tumbling up.

Mrs. Pocket was sitting on a garden chair under a tree, reading, with her legs upon another garden chair; and Mrs. Pocketโ€™s two nurse-maids were looking about them while the children played. โ€œMamma,โ€ said Herbert, โ€œthis is young Mr. Pip.โ€ Upon which Mrs. Pocket received me with an appearance of amiable dignity.

โ€œMaster Alick and Miss Jane,โ€ cried one of the nurses to two of the children, โ€œif you go a bouncing up against them bushes youโ€™ll fall over into the river and be drownded, and whatโ€™ll your pa say then?โ€

At the same time this nurse picked up Mrs. Pocketโ€™s handkerchief, and said, โ€œIf that donโ€™t make six times youโ€™ve dropped it, Mum!โ€ Upon which Mrs. Pocket laughed and said, โ€œThank you, Flopson,โ€ and settling herself in one chair only, resumed her book. Her countenance immediately assumed a knitted and intent expression as if she had been reading for a week, but before she could have read half a dozen lines, she fixed her eyes upon me, and said, โ€œI hope your mamma is quite well?โ€ This unexpected inquiry put me into such a difficulty that I began saying in the absurdest way that if there had been any such person I had no doubt she would have been quite well and would have been very much obliged and would have sent her compliments, when the nurse came to my rescue.

โ€œWell!โ€ she cried, picking up the pocket-handkerchief, โ€œif that donโ€™t make seven times! Whatย AREย you a-doing of this afternoon, Mum!โ€ Mrs. Pocket received her property, at first with a look of unutterable surprise as if she had never seen it before, and then with a laugh of recognition, and said, โ€œThank you, Flopson,โ€ and forgot me, and went on reading.

I found, now I had leisure to count them, that there were no fewer than six little Pockets present, in various stages of tumbling up. I had scarcely arrived at the total when a seventh was heard, as in the region of air, wailing dolefully.

โ€œIf there ainโ€™t Baby!โ€ said Flopson, appearing to think it most surprising. โ€œMake haste up, Millers.โ€

Millers, who was the other nurse, retired into the house, and by degrees the childโ€™s wailing was hushed and stopped, as if it were a young ventriloquist with something in its mouth. Mrs. Pocket read all the time, and I was curious to know what the book could be.

We were waiting, I supposed, for Mr. Pocket to come out to us; at any rate we waited there, and so I had an opportunity of observing the remarkable family phenomenon that whenever any of the children strayed near Mrs. Pocket in their play, they always tripped themselves up and tumbled over her,โ€”always very much to her momentary astonishment, and their own more enduring lamentation. I was at a loss to account for this surprising circumstance, and could not help giving my mind to speculations about it, until by and by Millers came down with the baby, which baby was handed to Flopson, which Flopson was handing it to Mrs. Pocket, when she too went fairly head foremost over Mrs. Pocket, baby and all, and was caught by Herbert and myself.

โ€œGracious me, Flopson!โ€ said Mrs. Pocket, looking off her book for a moment, โ€œeverybodyโ€™s tumbling!โ€

โ€œGracious you, indeed, Mum!โ€ returned Flopson, very red in the face; โ€œwhat have you got there?โ€

โ€œIย got here, Flopson?โ€ asked Mrs. Pocket.

โ€œWhy, if it ainโ€™t your footstool!โ€ cried Flopson. โ€œAnd if you keep it under your skirts like that, whoโ€™s to help tumbling? Here! Take the baby, Mum, and give me your book.โ€

Mrs. Pocket acted on the advice, and inexpertly danced the infant a little in her lap, while the other children played about it. This had lasted but a very short time, when Mrs. Pocket issued summary orders that they were all to be taken into the house for a nap. Thus I made the second discovery on that first occasion, that the nurture of the little Pockets consisted of alternately tumbling up and lying down.

Under these circumstances, when Flopson and Millers had got the children into the house, like a little flock of sheep, and Mr. Pocket came out of it to make my acquaintance, I was not much surprised to find that Mr. Pocket was a gentleman with a rather perplexed expression of face, and with his very grey hair disordered on his head, as if he didnโ€™t quite see his way to putting anything straight.

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