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Chapter no 41

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

The doctor was an old man; a very nice, kind-looking old man when I got him up. I told him me and my brother was over on Spanish Island hunting yesterday afternoon, and camped on a piece of a raft we found, and about midnight he must a kicked his gun in his dreams, for it went off and shot him in the leg, and we wanted him to go over there and fix it and not say nothing about it, nor let anybody know, because we wanted to come home this evening and surprise the folks.

โ€œWho is your folks?โ€ he says.

โ€œThe Phelpses, down yonder.โ€

โ€œOh,โ€ he says. And after a minute, he says:

โ€œHowโ€™d you say he got shot?โ€

โ€œHe had a dream,โ€ I says, โ€œand it shot him.โ€

โ€œSingular dream,โ€ he says.

So he lit up his lantern, and got his saddle-bags, and we started. But when he sees the canoe he didnโ€™t like the look of herโ€”said she was big enough for one, but didnโ€™t look pretty safe for two. I says:

โ€œOh, you neednโ€™t be afeard, sir, she carried the three of us easy enough.โ€

โ€œWhat three?โ€

โ€œWhy, me and Sid, andโ€”andโ€”andย the guns;ย thatโ€™s what I mean.โ€

โ€œOh,โ€ he says.

But he put his foot on the gunnel and rocked her, and shook his head, and said he reckoned heโ€™d look around for a bigger one. But they was all locked and chained; so he took my canoe, and said for me to wait till he come back, or I could hunt around further, or maybe I better go down home and get them ready for the surprise if I wanted to. But I said I didnโ€™t; so I told him just how to find the raft, and then he started.

I struck an idea pretty soon. I says to myself, sposโ€™n he canโ€™t fix that leg just in three shakes of a sheepโ€™s tail, as the saying is? sposโ€™n it takes him three or four days? What are we going to do?โ€”lay around there till he lets the cat out of the bag? No, sir; I know whatย Iโ€™llย do. Iโ€™ll wait, and when he comes back if he says heโ€™s got to go any more Iโ€™ll get down there, too, if I swim; and weโ€™ll take and tie him, and keep him, and shove out down the river; and when Tomโ€™s done with him weโ€™ll give him what itโ€™s worth, or all we got, and then let him get ashore.

So then I crept into a lumber-pile to get some sleep; and next time I waked up the sun was away up over my head! I shot out and went for the doctorโ€™s house, but they told me heโ€™d gone away in the night some time or other, and warnโ€™t back yet. Well, thinks I, that looks powerful bad for Tom, and Iโ€™ll dig out for the island right off. So away I shoved, and turned the corner, and nearly rammed my head into Uncle Silasโ€™s stomach! He says:

โ€œWhy,ย Tom!ย Where you been all this time, you rascal?โ€

โ€œIย hainโ€™t been nowheres,โ€ I says, โ€œonly just hunting for the runaway niggerโ€”me and Sid.โ€

โ€œWhy, where ever did you go?โ€ he says. โ€œYour auntโ€™s been mighty uneasy.โ€

โ€œShe neednโ€™t,โ€ I says, โ€œbecause we was all right. We followed the men and the dogs, but they outrun us, and we lost them; but we thought we heard them on the water, so we got a canoe and took out after them and crossed over, but couldnโ€™t find nothing of them; so we cruised along up-shore till we got kind of tired and beat out; and tied up the canoe and went to sleep, and never waked up till about an hour ago; then we paddled over here to hear the news, and Sidโ€™s at the post-office to see what he can hear, and Iโ€™m a-branching out to get something to eat for us, and then weโ€™re going home.โ€

So then we went to the post-office to get โ€œSidโ€; but just as I suspicioned, he warnโ€™t there; so the old man he got a letter out of the office, and we waited a while longer, but Sid didnโ€™t come; so the old man said, come along, let Sid foot it home, or canoe it, when he got done fooling aroundโ€”but we would ride. I couldnโ€™t get him to let me stay and wait for Sid; and he said there warnโ€™t no use in it, and I must come along, and let Aunt Sally see we was all right.

When we got home Aunt Sally was that glad to see me she laughed and cried both, and hugged me, and give me one of them lickings of hern that donโ€™t amount to shucks, and said sheโ€™d serve Sid the same when he come.

And the place was plum full of farmers and farmersโ€™ wives, to dinner; and such another clack a body never heard. Old Mrs. Hotchkiss was the worst; her tongue was a-going all the time. She says:

โ€œWell, Sister Phelps, Iโ€™ve ransacked that-air cabin over, anโ€™ I bโ€™lieve the nigger was crazy. I says to Sister Damrellโ€”didnโ€™t I, Sister Damrell?โ€”sโ€™I, heโ€™s crazy, sโ€™Iโ€”themโ€™s the very words I said. You all hearn me: heโ€™s crazy, sโ€™I; everything shows it, sโ€™I. Look at that-air grindstone, sโ€™I; want to tellย meโ€™t any cretur โ€™tโ€™s in his right mind โ€™s a goinโ€™ to scrabble all them crazy things onto a grindstone, sโ€™I? Here sich โ€™nโ€™ sich a person busted his heart; โ€™nโ€™ here so โ€™nโ€™ so pegged along for thirty-seven year, โ€™nโ€™ all thatโ€”natcherl son oโ€™ Louis somebody, โ€™nโ€™ sich everlastโ€™n rubbage. Heโ€™s plumb crazy, sโ€™I; itโ€™s what I says in the fust place, itโ€™s what I says in the middle, โ€™nโ€™ itโ€™s what I says last โ€™nโ€™ all the timeโ€”the niggerโ€™s crazyโ€”crazy โ€™s Nebokoodneezer, sโ€™I.โ€

โ€œAnโ€™ look at that-air ladder made outโ€™n rags, Sister Hotchkiss,โ€ says old Mrs. Damrell; โ€œwhat in the name oโ€™ goodnessย couldย he ever want ofโ€”โ€

โ€œThe very words I was a-sayinโ€™ no longer ago thโ€™n this minute to Sister Utterback, โ€™nโ€™ sheโ€™ll tell you so herself. Sh-she, look at that-air rag ladder, sh-she; โ€™nโ€™ sโ€™I, yes,ย lookย at it, sโ€™Iโ€”whatย couldย he a-wanted of it, sโ€™I. Sh-she, Sister Hotchkiss, sh-sheโ€”โ€

โ€œBut how in the nationโ€™d they everย gitย that grindstoneย inย there,ย anyway? โ€™nโ€™ who dug that-airย hole?ย โ€™nโ€™ whoโ€”โ€

โ€œMy veryย words, Brer Penrod! I was a-sayinโ€™โ€”pass that-air sasser oโ€™ mโ€™lasses, wonโ€™t ye?โ€”I was a-sayinโ€™ to Sister Dunlap, jist this minute, howย didย they git that grindstone in there, sโ€™I. Withoutย help, mind youโ€”โ€™thoutย help! Tharโ€™sย wher โ€™tis. Donโ€™t tellย me, sโ€™I; thereย wuzย help, sโ€™I; โ€™nโ€™ therโ€™ wuz aย plentyย help, too, sโ€™I; therโ€™s ben aย dozenย a-helpinโ€™ that nigger, โ€™nโ€™ I lay Iโ€™d skin every last nigger on this place butย Iโ€™dย find out who done it, sโ€™I; โ€™nโ€™ moreover, sโ€™Iโ€”โ€

โ€œAย dozenย says you!โ€”fortyย couldnโ€™t a done every thing thatโ€™s been done. Look at them case-knife saws and things, how tedious theyโ€™ve been made; look at that bed-leg sawed off with โ€™m, a weekโ€™s work for six men; look at that nigger made outโ€™n straw on the bed; and look atโ€”โ€

โ€œYou mayย wellย say it, Brer Hightower! Itโ€™s jist as I was a-sayinโ€™ to Brer Phelps, his own self. Sโ€™e, what doย youย think of it, Sister Hotchkiss, sโ€™e? Think oโ€™ what, Brer Phelps, sโ€™I? Think oโ€™ that bed-leg sawed off that a way, sโ€™e?ย thinkย of it, sโ€™I? I lay it never sawedย itselfย off, sโ€™Iโ€”somebodyย sawedย it, sโ€™I; thatโ€™s my opinion, take it or leave it, it maynโ€™t be no โ€™count, sโ€™I, but sich as โ€™t is, itโ€™s my opinion, sโ€™I, โ€™nโ€™ if any body kโ€™n start a better one, sโ€™I, let himย doย it, sโ€™I, thatโ€™s all. I says to Sister Dunlap, sโ€™Iโ€”โ€

โ€œWhy, dog my cats, they must a ben a house-full oโ€™ niggers in there every night for four weeks to a done all that work, Sister Phelps. Look at that shirtโ€”every last inch of it kivered over with secret African writโ€™n done with blood! Must a ben a raft uv โ€™m at it right along, all the time, amost. Why, Iโ€™d give two dollars to have it read to me; โ€™nโ€™ as for the niggers that wrote it, I โ€™low Iโ€™d take โ€™nโ€™ lash โ€™m tโ€™llโ€”โ€

โ€œPeople toย helpย him, Brother Marples! Well, I reckon youโ€™dย thinkย so if youโ€™d a been in this house for a while back. Why, theyโ€™ve stole everything they could lay their hands onโ€”and we a-watching all the time, mind you. They stole that shirt right off oโ€™ the line! and as for that sheet they made the rag ladder out of, therโ€™ ainโ€™t no telling how many times theyย didnโ€™tย steal that; and flour, and candles, and candlesticks, and spoons, and the old warming-pan, and most a thousand things that I disremember now, and my new calico dress; and me and Silas and my Sid and Tom on the constant watch dayย andย night, as I was a-telling you, and not a one of us could catch hide nor hair nor sight nor sound of them; and here at the last minute, lo and behold you, they slides right in under our noses and fools us, and not only foolsย usย but the Injun Territory robbers too, and actuly getsย awayย with that nigger safe and sound, and that with sixteen men and twenty-two dogs right on their very heels at that very time! I tell you, it just bangs anything I everย heardย of. Why,ย speritsย couldnโ€™t a done better and been no smarter. And I reckon they must aย beenย speritsโ€”because,ย youย know our dogs, and therโ€™ ainโ€™t no better; well, them dogs never even got on theย trackย of โ€™m once! You explainย thatย to me if you can!โ€”anyย of you!โ€

โ€œWell, it does beatโ€”โ€

โ€œLaws alive, I neverโ€”โ€

โ€œSo help me, I wouldnโ€™t a beโ€”โ€

โ€œHouse-thieves as well asโ€”โ€

โ€œGoodnessgracioussakes, Iโ€™d a ben afeard toย liveย in sich aโ€”โ€

โ€œโ€™Fraid toย live!โ€”why, I was that scared I dasnโ€™t hardly go to bed, or get up, or lay down, orย setย down, Sister Ridgeway. Why, theyโ€™d steal the veryโ€”why, goodness sakes, you can guess what kind of a flusterย Iย was in by the time midnight come last night. I hope to gracious if I warnโ€™t afraid theyโ€™d steal some oโ€™ the family! I was just to that pass I didnโ€™t have no reasoning faculties no more. It looks foolish enoughย now, in the daytime; but I says to myself, thereโ€™s my two poor boys asleep, โ€™way up stairs in that lonesome room, and I declare to goodness I was that uneasy โ€™t I crepโ€™ up there and locked โ€™em in! Iย did. And anybody would. Because, you know, when you get scared that way, and it keeps running on, and getting worse and worse all the time, and your wits gets to addling, and you get to doing all sorts oโ€™ wild things, and by-and-by you think to yourself, sposโ€™nย Iย was a boy, and was away up there, and the door ainโ€™t locked, and youโ€”โ€ She stopped, looking kind of wondering, and then she turned her head around slow, and when her eye lit on meโ€”I got up and took a walk.

Says I to myself, I can explain better how we come to not be in that room this morning if I go out to one side and study over it a little. So I done it. But I dasnโ€™t go fur, or sheโ€™d a sent for me. And when it was late in the day the people all went, and then I come in and told her the noise and shooting waked up me and โ€œSid,โ€ and the door was locked, and we wanted to see the fun, so we went down the lightning-rod, and both of us got hurt a little, and we didnโ€™t never want to tryย thatย no more. And then I went on and told her all what I told Uncle Silas before; and then she said sheโ€™d forgive us, and maybe it was all right enough anyway, and about what a body might expect of boys, for all boys was a pretty harum-scarum lot as fur as she could see; and so, as long as no harm hadnโ€™t come of it, she judged she better put in her time being grateful we was alive and well and she had us still, stead of fretting over what was past and done. So then she kissed me, and patted me on the head, and dropped into a kind of a brown study; and pretty soon jumps up, and says:

โ€œWhy, lawsamercy, itโ€™s most night, and Sid not come yet! Whatย hasย become of that boy?โ€

I see my chance; so I skips up and says:

โ€œIโ€™ll run right up to town and get him,โ€ I says.

โ€œNo you wonโ€™t,โ€ she says. โ€œYouโ€™ll stay right wherโ€™ you are;ย oneโ€™sย enough to be lost at a time. If he ainโ€™t here to supper, your uncle โ€™ll go.โ€

Well, he warnโ€™t there to supper; so right after supper uncle went.

He come back about ten a little bit uneasy; hadnโ€™t run across Tomโ€™s track. Aunt Sally was a goodย dealย uneasy; but Uncle Silas he said there warnโ€™t no occasion to beโ€”boys will be boys, he said, and youโ€™ll see this one turn up in the morning all sound and right. So she had to be satisfied. But she said sheโ€™d set up for him a while anyway, and keep a light burning so he could see it.

And then when I went up to bed she come up with me and fetched her candle, and tucked me in, and mothered me so good I felt mean, and like I couldnโ€™t look her in the face; and she set down on the bed and talked with me a long time, and said what a splendid boy Sid was, and didnโ€™t seem to want to ever stop talking about him; and kept asking me every now and then if I reckoned he could a got lost, or hurt, or maybe drownded, and might be laying at this minute somewheres suffering or dead, and she not by him to help him, and so the tears would drip down silent, and I would tell her that Sid was all right, and would be home in the morning, sure; and she would squeeze my hand, or maybe kiss me, and tell me to say it again, and keep on saying it, because it done her good, and she was in so much trouble. And when she was going away she looked down in my eyes so steady and gentle, and says:

โ€œThe door ainโ€™t going to be locked, Tom, and thereโ€™s the window and the rod; but youโ€™ll be good,ย wonโ€™tย you? And you wonโ€™t go? Forย myย sake.โ€

Laws knows Iย wantedย to go bad enough to see about Tom, and was all intending to go; but after that I wouldnโ€™t a went, not for kingdoms.

But she was on my mind and Tom was on my mind, so I slept very restless. And twice I went down the rod away in the night, and slipped around front, and see her setting there by her candle in the window with her eyes towards the road and the tears in them; and I wished I could do something for her, but I couldnโ€™t, only to swear that I wouldnโ€™t never do nothing to grieve her any more. And the third time I waked up at dawn, and slid down, and she was there yet, and her candle was most out, and her old gray head was resting on her hand, and she was asleep.

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