As she spoke, Mrs Elmโs eyes came alive, twinkling like puddles in moonlight.
โBetween life and death there is a library,โ she said. โAnd within that library, the shelves go on for ever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be di๏ฌerent if you had made other choices . . . Would you have done anything di๏ฌerent, if you had the chance to undo your regrets?โ
โSo, Iย amย dead?โ Nora asked.
Mrs Elm shook her head. โNo. Listen carefully.ย Betweenย life and death.โ She gestured vaguely along the aisle, towards the distance. โDeath is outside.โ
โWell, I should go there. Because I want to die.โ Nora began walking. But Mrs Elm shook her head. โ๎ขat isnโt how death works.โ
โWhy not?โ
โYou donโtย goย to death. Death comes to you.โ
Even death was something Nora couldnโt do properly, it seemed.
It was a familiar feeling.ย ๎ขis feeling of being incomplete in just about every sense. An un๏ฌnished jigsaw of a human. Incomplete living and incomplete dying.
โSo why am I not dead? Why has death not come to me? I gave it an open invitation. Iโd wanted to die. But here I am, still existing. I am still aware of things.โ
โWell, if itโs any comfort, you are very possiblyย aboutย to die. People who pass by the library usually donโt stay long, one way or the other.โ
When she thought about it โ and increasingly she had been thinking about it โ Nora was only able to think of herself in terms of the things she
wasnโt.ย ๎ขe things she hadnโt been able to become. And there really were quite a lot of things she hadnโt become.ย ๎ขe regrets which were on permanent repeat in her mind.ย I havenโt become an Olympic swimmer. I havenโt become a glaciologist. I havenโt become Danโs wife. I havenโt become a mother. I havenโt become the lead singer ofย ๎ปe Labyrinths. I havenโt managed to become a truly good or truly happy person. I havenโt managed to look a๎er Voltaire. And now, last of all, she hadnโt even managed to become dead. It was pathetic really, the amount of possibilities she had squandered.
โWhile the Midnight Library stands, Nora, you will be preserved from death. Now, you have to decide how you want to live.โ
