ARWEN
LAZARUS DIDNโT SO MUCH ASย smirk as I joined him.
His eyes were unreadable, trained on mine, and I remembered he
could read my thoughts as plainly as if Iโd screamed them at him.
He said nothing as I stepped one foot down into the shallow steps, and then descended until my body was submerged. The rush of flowing water and bubbling of springs filled my head and I dipped myself under.
Enveloped by warm silence, all I could hear was my own pulse in my eardrums.
Liquid, peaceful stillness.
When I emerged and wiped my eyes, Lazarus wasnโt even looking.
โQuite the performance,โ he said, his back to me as he surveyed his steamy, water-lush domain. โIโd title itย Woman Proves She Is Different Now.โ
I only scowled.
A gnarled scar cut down the muscled planes along his spine. The damaged skin undulated, rippling as he spread his arms across the waterโs surface. Kane had bestowed that upon him. Wielding the Blade of the Sun, all those years ago.
I stilled my mutilated heart into submission. Lazarus wouldnโt hear my longing.
But I could channel that rage. Could try to use any minutes alone with him to my advantage.
โWas it your own revenge? Back at Hemlockโฆโ Despite the agony, I allowed myself to think of Kaneโs roars of anguish. โMaking him think youโd killed me?โ
โNothing of the sort.โ Lazarus turned, expression still unreadable. โMy son has always been ruled by his emotions. I only sought to heighten them. However, it appears I got more than I bargained forโyour prince hasnโt been seen in months. Perhaps I succeeded in breaking him completely. Perhaps heโs gone mad from the loss. Or perhapsโฆa fate far more tragic: death at his own hand.โ
Even as dread curled around my lungs, I didnโt break from his unflinching stare. โKane would never abandon his people.โ
Lazarus reclined against the poolโs edge. โYour love is enviable. My own wife died many years ago.โ
I could have screamed. โYouย killedย her.โ
โSpoken like someone whoโs never been forced to sacrifice for a greater cause.โ
I would have sacrificed my very life to end you.
If heโd heard my thoughts, he didnโt comment. โBut you will. You and I, Arwen, are the last two of our kind in existence. Together we will repopulate an entire race of strong, powerful true Fae. No weak halflings, no dirty mortals. That sacrifice will be your legacy. You should be on your knees, thanking me for such an honor.โ
Before I could spit at him, Kaneโs voice snarled softly through my mind.
Donโt play into his game, bird. Thatโs what he wants.
โThere are only two of us, weโll never have an entire realm of true Fae.
Theyโd have toโโ
It was his smug, pleased expression that silenced my words and sent my stomach churning.
โInbreeding?โ
โMany great monarchies kept the bloodline pure with such practices.
Ancient Fae and mortal alike.โ
The revolting thought was too much to comprehend. My own children, forced to breed with one another. With their own father, surely. โYou foul, repugnantโโ
โThose burns.โ Lazarus motioned to my torso. โAre they from my sergeant, whom you murdered?โ
I fought the urge to cover myself as the memory of Haldenโs blistering iron sizzled against my skin. โYes.โ
โAnd the one across your collarbone, or those down your back, are they all from him as well? A bit of a sadist, my sergeant.โ Lazarus tutted as if it was a shame. โScarring my propertyโฆIโd take his other hand for that, were he still alive.โ
Revulsion twisted in my gut at the thought of Lazarus studying my naked body with such careful precision, like I was some prized specimen. Those scars were my memories. My strength fighting his wolflike mercenary. My will, unbroken by my stepfatherโs belt.
I sneered at him.
โDonโt,โ he chastised. โYouโll wrinkle the face of my queen.โ
When I curved my mouth down farther he only smirked and waded to stand under a steaming marble spigot shaped as the mouth of a fanged fish. He angled his neck, allowing the steaming fresh water to cascade down his marred back. โMaddox tells me youโve been questioning Wyn about my motives.โ
My eyes betrayed me, slamming into Maddoxโs cold, unflinching gaze. Why I felt surprised was beyond me. He was snide and callous and would clearly lick the ground Lazarus walked upon for a chance to move up in his ranks. But to have spied on Wyn and meโฆlistened to our private conversationsโฆ
Maybe what upset me was the realization that Iโd not had a single moment of true privacy since Iโd been brought here.
But Maddoxโs smug lips curling upward had no effect on me now. Not compared to the fear in Wynโs dismayed hazel eyes. His bobbing throat sent waves of lighte rippling down my spine. Some strange instinct that confusedย healย withย protect.
โI assumed you would have summoned me to your bed by now,โ I admitted to Lazarus, bracing myself. โBut thatโs why Iโm here, right?โ
โClose those legs, eager girl.โ
Over the rush of water I heard Maddox cease his incessant atonal hum to snicker.
โThe Lumerian Solstice is in a few days time. We celebrate the bountiful harvest at the end of autumn with a ball each year, and Iโd like you to attend as my betrothed.โ
I scowled at him. โCould you not have just forced me? Why bring me here and ask?โ
โThat would not be very befitting of your future husband, would it? Have you been treated poorly while here, Arwen? No dungeon, no torture, no suffering. Frankly, Iโm still waiting on your gratitude.โ
I opened my mouth to tell him heโd be waiting a long damn time for that, butโ
Heย neededย me. He needed me to behave beside him. To attendย willingly.
Maybe I could use this audience, this slight power I held, for information. โWhat is it you celebrate? There is no harvest. There are no crops for the
people of Lumeraย toย harvest.โ
Lazarusโs grin was withering in its cruelty.
What had Kane told me all those months ago in his wine cellar? That lighte was a resource born into every Fae from Lumeraโs earth, and if it was overusedโeither from the reaping of Lazarusโs citizens or the influx of crowded slumsโthe land itself suffered.
I pointed to my bruised veins from months of harvesting. โYour land is dying because of this. Itโs why the air outside my room is choked with dirt. Why it rainedย fireย this morning. Because you are juicing your own people to the pulp.โ
His teeth gleamed through the steam as he jerked his chin toward my veins again. โPerhaps thatย isย the bountiful harvest we celebrate here in Solaris.โ
Of course. Lighte. All the lighte that allowed his people to live in excess while everyone outside the capital suffered.
And all the lighte he was gathering for his war.
โYouโll change your mind on my practices soon enough,โ he added. โWhen we take Evendell and raze it of all the useless mortal lives, you and I will have fresh land for our offspring. Weโll build Evendell into something grander than even Lumeraโs former glory. And one day only the truest Fae will inhabit that realm. Donโt you want a world of creatures just like you? Isnโt your power, your lighteย lonely?โ
Rage gripped me, bruising my heart with its iron grasp. โAll those people, murderedโฆI will never aid you in such a quest. I willย neverย bear you offspring. And I will never attend some ruthless, barbarian ritual disguised as a phony celebration.โ
Interest, not irritation, flickered in his depthless silver eyes as he prowled closer through the water. In a low, rough voice he said, โOctavia has been insatiable over you. Just dying to see you crawl over her coals. And with burns like thoseโโhe ran a single pruned thumb across the top of my breast and I jumped backward, my skin writhingโโIโd imagine you have a particularly strong aversion to open flame on bare flesh. Shall we find out?โ
No sooner did he say the words than the bath doors flew open with a calamitous crash. I flinched despite myself.
Octavia strode in, dreary gray dress hanging loosely off her bony figure and mopping up water as she walked across wet floors.
โOut,โ he instructed me, voice harsher than it had yet been.
Despite the heat from the bubbling springs and the steam rising off my skin, my veins had filled with ice. I paused, shivering. I could stay put and be forced from the water, or climb out of my own accord and voluntarily suffer Octaviaโs torture. And not just any tortureโnot a beating or a whippingโbut the burning of my flesh.
IโI couldnโt do it.
Smoke-scented visions of Haldenโs white-hot iron pressed against my abdomen in a damp Peridot jungle sent my fingers trembling.
I had a little bit of lighteโI was not completely powerless.
But when I stood from the water, cool air veiled in steam kissing across my neck and breasts and thighsโฆI wondered if I was not evenย moreย helpless than I had been before. Equipped with shreds of my power and unable to use any of it. It was barely a spark. Iโd be overpowered immediately.
With as much courage as I could muster, I walked to Octavia. She was only a few inches taller than me, and I lifted my chin as she appraised my dripping body.
โYou canโt imagine,โ she hissed, โhow long Iโve waited for this.โ
And I understood why now. She saw me as ungrateful for the only thing she craved: the throne at Lazarusโs side. I wished I could tell her she could have it. Iโd never wanted anything less.
With a soft whisper of words I didnโt know and a whirl of earthly wind around the marble and suds, a bed of crackling coals presented themselves at my feet.
Each hiss that sounded when a bubbling pool nearby spit a drop of water atop them reminded me of the sound Iโd hearโthe sounds Iโdย makeโwhen I was forced to kneel, still utterly naked. My skin, meltingโ
โOr,โ Lazarus said from the opaque turquoise pool, undulating as he waded through it, โyou could attend the Solstice.โ
Hatred etched itself into my heart, my neck prickling as sweat gathered along my brow and underneath my arms. My body knew the agony. It knew, even as I chose now to let this happen, how desperately Iโd fight the minute the glowing red coals touched my flesh.
How completely exposed and humiliated Iโd be. Already was.
But if he wanted to announce me as his queen to the courtโif he needed to show his power, hisย bountyโthen I couldnโt let him. Not under any circumstances.
So I said nothing.
โGoody.โ Octavia grinned.
Bravery failing me, I flinched as she moved for my head. Her snake smile grew as she grasped my hair, my scalp already screaming.
โWait, wait,โ Lazarus drawled casually. Bored. โThis wonโt do.โ
Oh, Stones, what nowโ
โOctavia, start with her hobbled guard, will you?โ โWhat?โ My thin voice gave my horror away.
The kingsguards across the baths shifted. Maddoxโs eyes flashed with delight.
โYour Majesty,โ Wyn stammered. โWhy?โ
โYou didnโt think youโd go unpunished, did you? For what you revealed?โ
Wyn opened his mouth, but to say what, Iโd never know. Octaviaโs ruthless magic snatched him where he stood at the base of those sprawling alabaster stairs and yanked him toward the coals.
โStop,โ I cried, clawing at Octavia. Lighte rippled beneath my skin, but my body froze. With some kind of enchantment, the sorceress brought Wyn down to his knees and held his face near the coals. Ready,ย eagerย to plunge him against the blanket of sizzling rock below.
Wyn was shaking. Stoic, but shaking nonetheless. He gritted his teeth as Octavia lowered his face.
The pleas ripped from me. โStop,ย pleaseโโ
This couldnโt happen, not to him. I couldnโt stomach the awfulness. My imploring eyes shot to Lazarus and once again found his glare laced with more intrigue than anything else.
Thatโฆthat was why he was doing this.
Becauseย I couldnโt stand the awfulness.
Why Lazarus was punishing Wyn. Not for his indiscretion. But because he knew Iโd never let someone else suffer for my choices. He was using my morality against me. Waiting for me to foldโ
And as Octavia pressed Wynโs clear, golden skin into the sizzling coalsโฆI did.
โFine, fine, Iโll go!โ
My voice rang out, loud enough for them to hear over the snap of the embers and the rumble of the hot springs somewhere deep down below our feet. Wynโs cheek hovered not an inch above the rocks. โIโll attend. Iโll be good. Please, justย stopย this.โ
Octavia slid her eyes to her king.
I did the same, though nausea churned my stomach. I swallowed with a wince.
โHow good?โ Lazarus asked, one graying brow lifted. โWhatever you need.โ
With a brief, curt nod from her king, Octavia released me and Wyn from our spells and the coals evaporated into mist.
Wyn didnโt look at me as our matching exhales rent the room.
โI know you think yourself very courageous,โ Lazarus said, wading through the water to stand from the pool. His chiseled shoulders and powerful, thick legs did not look like they belonged to a man his age. They looked like he could crush me with one hard stomp. โThat your prince will come to save you, or like some sword-wielding heroine youโll surprise us all and save yourself. But whether you grin and take it like a proper queen, bejeweled and draped in Solaris finery, or youโre bound and muzzled in my dungeons like a sow for breeding, youย willย bear my heirs.โ
His eyes shredded me as he drew near, and I fought the urge to squirm.
โYou are no champion. You are no brave heroine. You are no prophesied savior of realms. You, Arwen, are just a womb. That is all you will ever be, until one day, you are dead.โ
Octavia hadnโt needed her coals. His words might as well have been a brand.
Somehow, I thought,ย I will watch you die before that day comes.
But Lazarus said nothing at all. He only slipped into a silk robe held by a kingsguard of his own and strolled out, leaving Wyn and Maddox in his wake, stiff as corpses.
Maddoxโs eyes held a carnivorous grin, and my neck and cheeks heated with shame. I looked down at my useless bare body, and my powerless hands, still tingling with lighte.
โLetโs go, womb,โ Maddox hissed.
Wyn, still kneeling on the wet floor, said nothing at all.
The easy gurgles of the baths and rush of the water fountains filled my mind, replacing all the anger and self-hatred. All the loneliness and despair.
I walked on unsteady legs, slipped my damp, ripped nightgown back on, and followed Maddox up that stone staircase. Wyn limped quietly behind us.
Out in the atrium, Maddox hummed a pleased tune to himself as he strolled past. Beside me, Wyn had slowed to a pace that resembled a crawl. Iโd never seen his gait so slow and fitful.
Octavia had known what she was doing when she forced him to kneel.
Hot, fresh ire filtered through me. โIโm sorry,โ I said under my breath.
โWhat could you possibly be sorry for?โ โThey used you to get to me.โ
Wyn shook his head, every step sending his armor jangling and curls rustling across his face. โI should never have shared with you what I did. Someone is always listening here.โ
Those words clanged through my mind.
Lazarus had so thoroughly ignored every single barb Iโd flung at him in my thoughts. It wasnโt like him. A man who made a point to show how deep inside your brain he was, and how powerless you were to stop him. Iโd never forget how utterly horrifying it had been to be so invaded the first night we met in Sirenโs Bay. How even my own thoughts belonged to him.
โHe didnโt read my mind today.โ I barely murmured the words. Handmaidens and guards passed us as we strolled down the black-and- white-walled halls, and Maddox was only a few feet ahead of us, that incessant tune filtering through his lips.
Wyn shrugged. โPerhaps he didnโt find your thoughts worth listening to.โ
I had threatened him. Told him Iโd watch him die. He hadnโt even smirked.
Was it possible he was weaker today? Maybe ill? โWyn, why does he needย myย lighte?โ
Wyn bared his teeth in a way that told me the pain in his knee was worsening. These hallways were endlessโwinding and rife with dizzying mirrors and hidden passageways. And those ornate ceilings with their
arches and fine molding so, so highโall of it, built to inspire vertigo and aching, restless eyes.
โThe lighte he reaps fuels everything,โ Wyn said with a wince. โThis city. This palace. His mercenaries. His weaponry. The entire Lumerian war machine.โ
โBut he drains me even though he needs me full of lighte to conceive.
He must needย myย lighte specifically.โ
โYouโre full-blooded. Your lighte is more potent than anyoneโs, other than his.โ
Hadnโt Kane told me many Fae and mortals alike in Solaris had become addicted to lighte once theyโd begun to intake more than their body made? Had Lazarus become dependent on it? I was the only other full-blooded Fae alive. Maybe he needed my lighte to support his own.
Heย wasย weak. That mustโve been it. Why he wouldnโt allow me even enough lighte to conceive.ย Heย couldnโt produce an heir, either.
โWynโฆโ
But Wynโs grimace told me what his next words confirmed. โEnough questions for today.โ
โJust oneโโ โIย canโt.โ
I stopped in my tracks.
Wyn winced as he did the same, rubbing at his leg. His greaves were still wet where heโd knelt on that slick marble.
Of course he couldnโt discuss this with me. Physically, mentallyโI thought our burgeoning friendship might actually be killing the kingsguard.
And it was foolish of me as well. Hadnโt I learned my lesson? I had no allies here. Someone was always listening, always ready to use you or your vulnerabilities against you. I couldnโt confide in Wyn. I was thoroughly alone.
โRight,โ I said, my eyes finding the floor, my own reflection bloodred and warped. โI know.โ
โIโm sorry, Arwen.โ When I lifted my chin, Wyn stepped closer, eyes flickering with more sorrow, more guilt than I could stand. โReally. I am.โ
He grasped at his knee once more, grimacing.
โStay still.โ Before Maddox could notice, I knelt to the ground and pressed both my hands into Wynโs lame leg. Eager lighte jumped from my fingertips, thrilled to doย somethingย before it was ripped from my veins once again.
The cartilage beneath his armor was old and scarred, but with what little power I had, fresh muscle and sinew sprouted beneath my palms, reinforcing the weaker joints that had been sore for decades.
When the last meager drop of my power had permeated Wynโs skin, I stood.
โWhatโฆโ Wyn flexed the limb in disbelief. Bending the joint and redistributing his weight. When his eyes found mine again, they welled with tears. โWhy did you do that?โ
I swallowed against the emotion in my throat. โI couldnโt watch you limp anymore.โ
โYeah.โ He held my eyes with quiet intensity. โYou could have.โ
The words felt familiar to me, though I couldnโt place them. But the memory faded as we walked back in silence to my gilded, velvet prison.