The following Saturday at five oโclock, Tova arrives at Ethanโs house.
It is not a date.
The glass bottle is cool on her bare arm as she tucks it in the crook of her elbow, the way one might very awkwardly hold an infant. This strikes her as a better manner of presenting the gift to Ethan than the way Barbara thrust it at her, clutching it crudely by the neck, blabbing on about how it was last seasonโs Cab Franc from that winery over in Woodinville and how it was soย delightful, sheย mustย bring it for herย date.
Not a date, Tova had insisted over and over. A million
times, as Cameron might say. Itโs nothing more than supper.
Aย quickย supper. She had clarified this when she accepted the invitation, citing her need to keep packing for her move. In truth, her free time has been consumed with searching every volume the Snohomish County Public Library would allow her to check out for any information about Daphne Cassmore. But the research has stalled, and Tova has learned very little of use. What harm could come from taking an evening off to share a meal with a friend?
With a friend? Is Ethan her friend?
In any event, it would be rude to arrive at someoneโs house without a gift. Tova is not much of a wine drinker herself, but this is what people do. Some small part of her is thankful for Barbโs pushiness. Without it, she mightโve committed the faux pas of arriving empty-handed, and even
if she had thought to procure one on her own, she couldnโt have exactly marched into the Shop-Way and bought one from Ethan himself.
Head high, she strides up the short driveway toward the squatty bungalow. Her ankle is nearly healed now, only the tiniest hitch. An overgrown hydrangea with periwinkle blossoms encroaches upon the small porch. Tova lifts a branch out of her way to pass and, before she can change her mind, presses the doorbell.
โEvening, Tova,โ Ethan says, stepping back and motioning for her to enter. His voice is strangely quiet. She hands him the bottle, and he thanks her, then offers to take her pocketbook, gesturing toward a slightly crooked coatrack in the corner.
โThank you, but itโs no problem to keep it with me.โ Tova clutches the bag to her hip like a biblical fig leaf. As if sheโd be bare naked without it.
โBrilliant, then,โ Ethan says.
Making her way across the natty carpet, Tova canโt help but stare at the feature that dominates the house: an entire living room wall dedicated to a record collection, the cheap shelvingโs veneer peeling back from the particleboard. If this had been their house, back then, Will wouldโve tacked the loose laminate down. Tova resists the urge to go pick at it, like a half-attached scab better removed, lest it snag on something.
Entering someoneโs home is always an intimate act. She looks around for photos, but there are none. Instead, the walls are decorated with beautifully framed concert posters: Grateful Dead, Hendrix, the Rolling Stones. The style should befit a teenagerโs room, yet somehow, it seems to match Ethan perfectly.
She follows him into a surprisingly tidy little kitchen, which smells of simmering mushrooms, while they make small talk. Tova has never cared for small talk, and she stumbles through it now. When Ethan hands her a goblet
filled to the brim with Barbโsย delightfulย Cab Franc, she takes it gratefully.
โCheers, love,โ he says.
โCheers,โ Tova echoes, clinking his class.
After several moments and several more sips, she picks up a pair of sunglasses on the counter, recognizing them as Cameronโs. โItโs been kind of you to open your home to him.โ
Ethan pours a swish of red wine into the skillet, which hisses in response, releasing an enormous puff of steam. โTo tell you the truth, itโs nice having a bit of company.โ
Tova nods. She knows what he means. Itโs been nice having Cameron down at the aquarium, too. โYes, I should say so.โ
โDโyou know, I came from a family of fourteen. Eleven brothers and sisters. When I was a wee lad, I always imagined my adult self in a house bursting at the seams.โ
Tova permits herself a smile. โI thought it was the Irish who were known for big families.โ
โEh, we Scots can hold our own.โ He flashes her a grin, scraping mushroom sauce over two plump chicken breasts, one on each plate. To Tovaโs astonishment, her mouth waters. How long has it been since anyone prepared such a lovely meal for her?
THEYโRE SAVORING THEIRย last bites when a screen door bangs. A moment later, Cameron whirls into the room, darkness shadowing his face. The glower lifts briefly, replaced by a confused look when he sees Tova sitting there with Ethan at his kitchen table.
After a moment, the glare returns, although itโs pointed exclusively at Ethan. โHey, man. Can I talk to you for a sec?โ It sounds like his teeth are clenched.
โAโcourse. Shoot,โ Ethan says.
โI was hanging out down at the paddle shop, and Tanner, that kid that works at your store, came in with his buddies.
Do you know what they happened to mention?โ Cameronโs tone is cool. โSaid you were talking about myโโ
โRight, then.โ Ethan vaults from his seat. He gives Cameron a pointed look as he guides the boy toward the living room. Over his shoulder, he excuses himself and insists Tova keep enjoying her meal, whatโs left of it, anyway, and that heโll only be a quick minute. The two of them vanish through the small house, presumably into some back bedroom, well out of earshot.
What would be wrong with the boy? A twinge of guilt tugs at her. Perhaps she would know, if she hadnโt missed their last two cleaning sessions.
The โquick minuteโ drags on. Tova decides the least she can do is to start cleaning up the cooking mess. Itโs something to do. And what a post-cooking disaster this kitchen is. Head feeling somewhat lighter than usual, thanks to the wine, she searches for a sponge, and clicks her tongue when she fails to find one anywhere in the proximity of the kitchen sink. What does Ethan wash his dishes with? There isnโt a sponge or a dishcloth anywhere in sight.
The drawer next to the sink seems like a logical place to look. But it seems to be a junk drawer. She opens the next one over, but itโs also an assortment of papers, tools, oddities. Tova lets out a sigh. Why must men do this? If Will had had his way, heโd have allowed every bureau in their house to slip into junk-drawer status. She lets out a soft chuckle, thinking of Marcellus and his collection of oddities, stashed under the gravel in his den. Apparently, this tendency of males to assemble useless dross transcends species.
Under the sink, there ought to be something to use on the dishes, but as Tova swings open the cabinet, sheโs greeted with boxes of cereal and stacks of those microwavable instant-rice cups. Her jaw drops open.
Who keeps a pantry under the sink?
Adrenaline rushes through her head, making her dizzy. Thereโs much she could do here. Reorganize the entire kitchen. Wipe down the interior cabinets and drawers. Does Ethan have any idea how much he needs someone like her?
She closes her eyes and takes a grounding breath. For now, she ought to focus on the dishes.
Inspecting the cupboard under the sink again, she spots a rag. Upon further inspection, itโs an old T-shirt, white with faded print. Clearly a rag. Perfect for cleaning.
When the last dish has been nestled on the drying rack, she uses the shirt to wipe down the counters, swiping over a puddle of Cab Franc that had splashed on the counter with Ethanโs haphazard pouring. Wine seeps into the soggy cotton, the stain fading into a shade of muted violet when she rinses and wrings it in the sink. Pride swells within her as she surveys the sparkling kitchen, and as if on cue, voices drift from the other room. The boys are coming back. Perhaps theyโve smoothed over their spat.
Cameron wonโt meet her eye before he ducks back out the rear door. A moment later, the camperโs grizzly ignition sputters to life.
โTova, love,โ Ethan says. His voice is tight.
โAre you all all right?โ Tova ventures, taking a step toward him.
โI should tell you something.โ He shifts on his feet. It seems he hasnโt even noticed that Tova cleaned the entire kitchen.
โWell, what is it?โ Tova presses, but then wonders whether she shouldโve. Suddenly, she wants nothing more than to be home, sitting on her davenport. Watching the evening news. The tidy, predictable banter of Craig Moreno and Carla Ketchum and meteorologist Joan Jennison. She places the wadded rag/T-shirt on the counter and clasps her hands.
Ethanโs gaze locks on the bundle on the counter. His eyes bulge. โWhat the . . . ?โ He crosses the kitchen and holds up
the wine-stained rag. Color drains from his ruddy cheeks.
Tova straightens, nervous. โWhat have you done?โ
โThe dishes.โ Tova plants her hands on her hips. โI cleaned the kitchen, washed the dishes, wiped down the counters. I had half a mind to start on that mess under your sink, butโโ
โOh.โ Ethanโs voice is hoarse. He slops the rag-shirt onto the table and sinks down into one of the chairs, dropping his huge head into his hands. His voice is muffled when he says, โGrateful Dead, Memorial Stadium. May 26, 1995.โ
โWhat does that mean?โ
He looks up, eyes flashing. โTheir last show in Seattle.
One of Jerry Garciaโs last shows ever.โ
โI donโt . . . well . . .โ Tovaโs head spins. Jerry Garcia was the lead singer of Grateful Dead and passed away in 1995, of this sheโs certain. Crossword puzzle makers occasionally use some version of this as a clue, and it always strikes her as somewhat pedestrian for a pop-culture nod.
โThe shirt. It was from that show. Itโs a rare specimen.โ Ethan expels a long breath as he rises.
โBut it was under the sink.โ
Ethan flings an arm toward the cabinet. โRight. It was in that closet.โ
โThatโs not a closet. Itโs a cabinet.โ
โTheyโre both compartments with doors! Whatโs the difference?โ
Tova folds her arms. โWell, most people keep cleaning supplies under the sink.โ
โWho cares what most people do?โ He pinches the bridge of his nose. โRed wine stains. They come out, right?โ
โMaybe theyโll lighten,โ Tova says. โWith undiluted bleach.โ
โBut that will . . .โ
โYes,โ she admits. โIt will fade out everything else, too.โ
Ethan says nothing but gets up heavily and wanders over to the counter and dumps the remainder of Barbโs Cab Franc into his glass, then finishes it in one gulp. Tova watches, her jaw suddenly wired shut, her feet somehow rooted to the ground. Who leaves a precious garment shoved in a kitchen cupboard? And one in such terrible shape, so horribly faded and worn?
No, not horribly worn. Well loved. โIโm sorry, Ethan.โ
He squares his shoulders. โAye. Itโs all right, love.โ
โIโm going to go now,โ Tova says, trembling. โThank you for the meal.โ
โPlease wait. I have something important to tell you. The reason I asked you over tonight, actually . . .โ
But Tova is already halfway across the house, clutching her pocketbook to her hip. The front door shuts quietly behind her.





