Ryle was correct. It only took a few days for my ankle to feel good enough that I could walk on it again. I waited a full week before attempting to leave my apartment, though. The last thing I need is to reinjure it.
Of course the ๏ฌrst place I went was to my ๏ฌoral shop. Allysa was there when I arrived today, and to say I was shocked when I walked through the front doors is an understatement. It looked like a totally different building than the one I bought. Thereโs still a ton of work that needs to be done, but she and Marshall had gotten rid of all the stuff we marked as trash. Everything else had been organized into piles. The windows had been washed, the ๏ฌoors had been mopped. She even had the area where I plan to put an of๏ฌce cleaned out.
I helped her for a few hours today, but she wouldnโt let me do much that required walking at ๏ฌrst, so I mostly drew out plans for the store. We picked out paint colors and set a goal date to open the store thatโs approximately ๏ฌfty-four days from now. After she left, I spent the next few hours doing all the stuff she wouldnโt let me do while she was there. It felt good to be back. Butย Jesus Christ, Iโm tired.
Which is why Iโm debating on whether or not to get up from the couch and answer the knock at my front door. Lucy is at Alexโs again tonight and I just spoke to my mother ๏ฌve minutes ago on the phone, so I know it isnโt either of them.
I walk to the door and check the peephole before opening it. I donโt recognize him at ๏ฌrst, because his head is down, but then he looks up and to the right and my heart freaks the hell out!
What is he doing here?
Ryle knocks again, and I try to brush my hair out of my face and smooth it down with my hands, but itโs a lost cause. I worked my ass off today and I look like shit, so unless I have half an hour to take a
shower, put on makeup, and throw on clothes before I open the door, heโll pretty much have to deal with me as is.
I open the door and his immediate reaction confuses me.
โJesus Christ,โ he says, dropping his head against my door frame. Heโs panting like heโs been working out, and thatโs when I notice that he doesnโt look to be any more rested or clean than I am. Heโs got a couple of daysโ worth of stubble on his faceโsomething Iโve never seen on him beforeโand his hair isnโt styled like it usually is. Itโs a little erratic, like the look in his eye. โDo you have any idea how many doors Iโve knocked on to ๏ฌnd you?โ
I shake my head, because I donโt. But now that he mentions itโย how in the hell does he know where I live?
โTwenty-nine,โ he says. Then he holds up his hands and repeats
the numbers with his ๏ฌngers while he whispers,ย โTwo . . . nine.โ
I let my gaze drop down to his clothes. Heโs in scrubs, and I absolutelyย hateย that heโs in scrubs right now.ย Holy hell.ย Soย much better than the onesie andย wayย better than the Burberry.
โWhy did you knock on twenty-nine doors?โ I ask with a tilt of my head.
โYou never told me which apartment was yours,โ he says, matter-of-factly. โYou said you lived in this building, but I couldnโt remember if you even said which ๏ฌoor. And for the record, I almost started with the third ๏ฌoor. I would have been here an hour ago if I went with my gut instinct.โ
โWhyย areย you here?โ
He runs his hands down his face and then points over my shoulder. โCan I come in?โ
I glance over my shoulder and then open the door farther. โI guess. If you tell me what you want.โ
He walks inside and I close the door behind us. He glances around, wearing his stupid hot scrubs, and puts his hands on his hips as he faces me. He looks a little disappointed, but Iโm not sure if itโs in me or himself.
โThereโs a really big naked truth coming, okay?โ he says. โBrace yourself.โ
I fold my arms over my chest and watch as he inhales a breath, preparing to speak.
โThese next couple of months are the most important months in my entire career. I have to be focused. Iโm closing in on the end of my residency, and then Iโll have to sit for my exams.โ Heโs pacing my living room, talking frantically with his hands. โBut for the past week, I havenโt been able to get you out of my head. I donโt know why. At work, at home. All I can think about is how crazy it feels when Iโm near you, and I need you to make it stop, Lily.โ He stops pacing and faces me. โPleaseย make it stop. Just onceโthatโs all itโll take. I swear.โ
My ๏ฌngers are digging into the skin of my arms as I watch him. Heโs still panting a little, and his eyes are still frantic, but heโs looking at me pleadingly.
โWhen is the last time youโve had sleep?โ I ask him.
He rolls his eyes like heโs frustrated that Iโm not getting it. โI just got off a forty-eight-hour shift,โ he says dismissively. โFocus, Lily.โ
I nod and replay his words in my head. If I didnโt know
better . . . Iโd almost think he was . . .
I inhale a calming breath. โRyle,โ I say carefully. โDid you seriously just knock on twenty-nine doors so you could tell me that the thought of me is making your life hell and I should have sex with you so that youโll never have to think of me again? Are youย kiddingย me right now?โ
He folds his lips together and, after about ๏ฌve seconds of
thought, he slowly nods his head. โWell . . . yeah, but . . . it sounds way worse when you say it.โ
I release an exasperated laugh. โThatโs because itโs ridiculous, Ryle.โ
He bites his bottom lip and looks around the room, like he suddenly wants to escape. I open the door and motion for him to walk out. He doesnโt. His eyes fall to my foot. โYour ankle looks good,โ he says. โHow does it feel?โ
I roll my eyes. โBetter. I was able to help Allysa at the store for the ๏ฌrst time today.โ
He nods and then makes like heโs walking toward the door to leave. But as soon as he reaches me, he spins toward me and slaps his palms against the door on either side of my head. I gasp at both his proximity and his persistence. โPlease?โ he says.
I shake my head, even though my body is starting to trade sides and beg my mind to cave to him.
โIโm really good at it, Lily,โ he says with a grin. โYouโll barely even have to do any work.โ
I try not to laugh, but his determination is as endearing as it is annoying. โGoodnight, Ryle.โ
His head drops between his shoulders and he shakes it back and forth. He pushes off the door and stands up straight. He half-turns, heading for the hallway, but then suddenly drops to his knees in front of me. He wraps his arms around my waist. โPlease, Lily,โ he says through self-deprecating laughter. โPleaseย have sex with me.โ Heโs looking up at me with puppy dog eyes and a pathetic, hopeful grin. โI want you so, so bad and I swear, once you have sex with me youโll never hear from me again. I promise.โ
Thereโs something about a neurosurgeonย literallyย on his knees begging for sex that does me in.ย Thatโs pretty pathetic.
โGetย up,โ I say, pushing his arms away from me. โYouโre embarrassing yourself.โ
He slowly stands up, dragging his hands up the door on either side of me until he has me caged in between his arms. โIs that a yes?โ His chest is barely touching mine and I hate how good it feels to be wanted this much. I should be turned off by it, but I can hardly breathe when I look at him. Especially when he has this suggestive smile on his face.
โI donโt feel sexy right now, Ryle. I worked all day, Iโm exhausted, I smell like sweat and probably taste like dust. If you give me a little while to shower ๏ฌrst, I might feel sexy enough to have sex with you.โ
Heโs nodding feverishly before Iโm even ๏ฌnished speaking. โShower. Take all the time you need. Iโll wait.โ
I push him away from me and close the front door. He follows me to the bedroom and I tell him to wait on the bed for me.
Luckily, I cleaned my bedroom last night. Normally I have clothes lying around everywhere, books piled up on my nightstand, shoes and bras that donโt quite make it to my closet. But tonight itโs clean. My bed is even made up, complete with the ugly, quilted throw pillows my grandmother passed down to every person in our family.
I make a quick glance around the room, just to make sure nothing embarrassing will catch his eye. He takes a seat on my bed and I watch as he scans the room. I stand in the doorway to my bathroom and try to give him one last out.
โYou say this will make it stop, but Iโm warning you right now, Ryle. Iโm like a drug. If you have sex with me tonight, itโs only going to make things worse for you. But once is all youโre getting. I refuse to become one of the many girls you use toโhow did you word it that night?ย Satisfyย yourย needs?โ
He leans back on his elbows. โYou arenโt that kind of girl, Lily.
And Iโm not the kind of guy who needs someone more than once. We have nothing to worry about.โ
I close the door behind me, wondering how in the hell this guy talked me into this.
Itโs the scrubs. The scrubs are my weakness. It has nothing to do with him.
I wonder if thereโs a way he could leave them on during the sex?
โข โข โข
Iโve never taken more than half an hour to get ready, but itโs almost an hour before Iโm ๏ฌnished in the bathroom. I shaved more parts of me than was probably necessary, and then spent a good twenty minutes having a freak-out, and had to talk myself out of opening the door and telling him to leave. But now that my hair is dry and Iโm cleaner than Iโve ever been, I think I might be able to do this. I can totally have a one-night stand. Iโm twenty-three years old.
I open the door and heโs still there on my bed. Iโm a little disappointed to see that his scrub top is on the ๏ฌoor, but I donโt see his pants, so he must still be wearing them. Heโs under the covers, though, so I canโt tell.
I close the door behind me and wait for him to roll over and look at me, but he doesnโt. I take a few steps closer, and thatโs when I notice heโs snoring.
Not just a lightโoh I just fell asleepโsnore. Itโs a middle of REM sleep kind of snore.
โRyle?โ I whisper. He doesnโt even budge when I shake him.ย Youโve got to be kidding me.
I drop down onto the bed, not even caring if I wake him. I just spent an entire hour getting ready for him after busting my ass today, and this is how he treats this night?
I canโt be mad at him, though, especially seeing how peaceful he looks. I canโt imagine working a forty-eight-hour shift. Plus, my bed is really comfortable. Itโs so comfortable, it could make a person fall right back to sleep after a full night of rest.ย I should have warned him about that.
I check the time on my phone and itโs almost 10:30 p.m. I put
the phone on silent and then lie down next to him. His phone is on the pillow next to his head, so I grab it and swipe up the camera option. I hold his phone above us and make sure my cleavage looks good and pushed together. I snap a picture so heโll at least see what he missed out on.
I turn off the light and laugh to myself, because Iโm falling asleep next to a half-naked man that Iโve never even kissed.
โข โข โข
I can feel his ๏ฌngers trailing up my arm before I even open my eyes. I force back a tired smile and pretend Iโm still sleeping. His ๏ฌngers trail over my shoulder and stop at my collarbone, just before they reach my neck. I have a small tattoo there that I got in college. Itโs a simple outline of a heart thatโs slightly open at the top. I can feel his ๏ฌngers circle around the tattoo, and then he leans forward and presses his lips against it. I squeeze my eyes shut even tighter.
โLily,โ he whispers, wrapping an arm around my waist. I moan a little, trying to wake up, and then roll onto my back so that I can look up at him. When I open my eyes, heโs staring down at me. I can tell by the way the sunlight shines through my windows and across his face that itโs not even seven a.m. yet.
โI am the most despicable man youโve ever met. Am I right?โ I laugh, and nod a little. โPretty damn close.โ
He smiles and then brushes my hair off my face. He leans forward and presses his lips to my forehead, and I hate that he just did that. Nowย Iโllย be the one plagued with sleepless nights, because I want to put this memory on repeat.
โI have to go,โ he says. โIโm really late. But oneโIโm sorry. Two
โIโll never do this again. This is the last youโll hear from me, I promise. And threeโIโmย reallyย sorry. You have no idea.โ
I force a smile, but I want to frown because I absolutely hated his
number two. I actually donโt mind if he tries this again, but then I remind myself that we want two different things from life. And itโs good that he fell asleep and we never even kissed, because if I would have had sex with him while he was wearing scrubs, I would have been the one showing up at his door on my knees, begging for more.
This is good. Rip the Band-Aid off and let him leave.
โHave a nice life, Ryle. I wish you all the success in the world.โ
He doesnโt respond to my goodbye. He silently stares down at me with somewhat of a frown, and then says, โYeah. You too, Lily.โ
Then he rolls away from me and stands up. I canโt even look at him right now, so I roll onto my side so that my back is to him. I listen as he puts his shoes on and then reaches for his phone. Thereโs a long pause before he moves again, and I know itโs because he was staring at me. I squeeze my eyes shut until I hear the slam of the front door.
My face immediately grows warm, and I refuse to allow myself to mope. I force myself off the bed. I have work to do. I canโt be upset that Iโm not enough to make a guy want to remap all of his life goals.
Besides, I have myย ownย life goals to worry about now. And Iโm really excited about them. So much so, that I really donโt have time for a guy in my life, anyway.
No time. Nope.
Busy girl, here.
I am a brave and bold businesswoman with zero fucks to give for men in scrubs.
