Jules snuck out after making sure the hallway was clear
and left me to my own devices.
Restless, I showered, hit the gym, showered again, and watchedย Fast Fiveย in my room while the girls got ready and left for the palace. Only royal relatives were allowed to stay at the palace for the wedding, so even though the girls were Bridgetโs bridesmaids, we were camped out in a five- star hotel, courtesy of the crown.
I usually had no issues entertaining myself while traveling, but the crowd of paparazzi outside the hotel deterred me from venturing out.
Unfortunately, our hotel, as luxurious as it was, lacked stimulating activities. Michelin-starred restaurants and a world-renowned spa wereย fine,ย but I needed more excitement.
Alex will be staying behind too.
Julesโs words echoed in my head. Whatย wasย he doing?
Eating babies and ruining lives, probably.
By the time night descended, I was bored enough to join him.
Temptation snaked around my spine, but instead of knocking on his door, I headed downstairs to the bar. Itโd been closed earlier, but when I arrived, the telltale glow of lights sent relief coasting through my lungs.
I stepped inside, taking in the two-story ceiling, plush blue velvet couches, and the massive wall of glittering bottles behind the polished mahogany bar. It blew the fanciest bar in D.C. out of the water, times ten.
I slid onto a blue leather stool and waited for the bartender to finish setting up. It mustโve just opened, because we were the only people present, and the space was eerily quiet save for the soft jazz piping through invisible speakers.
Part of me craved the buzz of a crowd; another part relished the silence.
Like in most areas of my life right now, I didnโt know what the hell I wanted.
I drummed my fingers against the counter and scanned the bottle display, searching for a good drink to start the night, when a familiar voice sliced through the silence.
โThis seat taken?โ
The drumming stopped. Tension locked my muscles in place.
I turned to face the newcomer, already wishing Iโd ordered room service instead of braving a common space when Alex was also roaming the grounds.
My former best friend stood a few feet away, dressed in the same black turtleneck and pants he wore on the plane. Fatigue lined his face, and a pinch of concern squeezed my chest.
According to Ava, his insomnia had improved over the years, but there were still times when he went days without sleeping, only to crash afterward.
I remembered several instances during undergrad when he would pass out in the middle of a conversation or study session.
Not that it was my concern anymore.
โObviously, it isnโt.โ I flicked my eyes at the empty stool next to me.
โThatโs not what I meant,โ Alex said coolly.
A muscle ticked in my jaw. The bastard never made things easy.
In that case, itย isย taken.
The words hovered on the tip of my tongue, but Julesโs voice floated through my head again.
Being angry at someone is exhausting, and itโs been almost two years. Maybe itโs time to forgive, even if you donโt forget.
Two years.
Theyโd stretched for an eternity and passed in the blink of an eye all at once.
In that time, Alex and I had only one moment when things between us seemed semi-normalโour ski afternoon in Vermont.
I blamed my twinge of nostalgia for what I said next. โAll yours.โ
A flicker of surprise crossed his face before it smoothed into its usual impassive mask.
Alex took his seat right as the bartender finished setting up and approached us. โThanks for waiting,โ he said in lightly accented English. โWhat can I get you?โ
โIโll have a Macallan neat.โ Alex didnโt look at the menu before ordering. There was no doubt a bar as fancy as this one served Macallan.
The bartender nodded and shifted his attention to me.
โA Stella is fine, thanks.โ The only Macallan I drank was from my bottle at home, though it now sat empty after I drowned my sorrows over Tanyaโs death in it.
Otherwise, the whiskey was too rich for my med school loan-riddled wallet.
โStill havenโt graduated to real alcohol, huh?โ Alex drawled after the bartender left to fix our drinks.
โStill havenโt developed taste, huh?โ I volleyed back. โItโs okay, man. Theyโll still let you into your billionairesโ club if you admit to liking beer.โ
โBeer tastes like carbonated urine.โ He delivered each word with his trademark icy precision, but a tinge of amusement lurked beneath the surface. โIโm also not discussing taste with someone who once dressed as a rat for Halloween.โ He paused before adding, โA rat who wore a red bandanna.โ
โOh, for fuckโs sake, that wasย one time.โ Iโd been a
gladiator, Superman, a doctor (not my most inspired costume, I admit), Waldo fromย Whereโs Waldo,ย and a thousand other personas for Halloween, yet everyone always brought up the fucking rat. โI did it to prove I could pull anyone I wanted even if I was dressed as a rat. And I did.โ
The Morgenstern twins. That had been a good night.
The memory of one of my favorite threesomes usually got me going, but tonight, it did nothing for me. Not even a flicker of excitement or desire.
Weird.
โThatโs what you always say.โ Alex sounded unimpressed.
โBecause itโs true. Ask the Morgensterns.โ โWhatever makes you feel better.โ
A scowl knotted my brow. โYouโre such a goddamn asshole. I donโt know how I was ever friends with you,โ I grumbled, accepting my drink from the bartender with a nod of thanks.
Alexโs lips curved, but the air between us suddenly weighed heavy with ghosts from the pastโpickup basketball games, late-night study sessions, parties and guysโ trips and random memes we sent each other throughout the day.
Well, l sent him memes and he replied with frowning or eye roll emojis, but Alex had a shit sense of humor, so I didnโt expect him to appreciate my excellent meme selection.
Julesโs advice may have pushed me to extend a tentative olive branch, but the truth was, I missed having a best friend. I missed havingย Alexย as my best friend. He was cold, rude, and grumpy as fuck, but heโd always had my back. Every fight I got into, every bad day I had, heโd been there to bail me out and talk me down.
I took a swig of beer to wash down the sudden tightness in my throat while Alex quietly sipped his drink.
The bar was starting to fill up, and soon, the room buzzed with enough activity to drown out the silence roaring between us.
I finished my beer and was about to order another one when Alex interjected.
โTwo more Macallans.โ He slid his black Amex across the counter and flicked a glance in my direction. โOn me.โ
My first instinct was to turn it down, but I wasnโt dumb enough to say no to a free premium drink.
โThanks.โ
โYouโre welcome.โ
More silence. God, this was fucking painful.
โHow are things going between you and Ava?โ I finally asked.
Ava always gushed about their relationship, but she was Alexโs first real girlfriend, and I was curious as hell about his perspective. If I hadnโt witnessed it with my own eyes, I wouldnโt have thought him capable of a long-term relationship.
Alexโs face softened. โWeโre good.โ
โGood.ย Thatโs high praise coming from you.โ I wasnโt joking. The strongest positive term Iโd ever heard him use wasย fine.
Gourmet steak cooked by a world-famous chef? Fine. Flying in a private jet? Fine.
Graduating top of his class from Thayer? Fine.
For someone so smart, he had a limited vocabulary. โI love your sister,โ Alex said simply.
My glass froze halfway to my lips. Of course, I knew he loved Ava, but I never in a million years wouldโve guessed heโd admit it to anyone except her.
The Alex I knew had zero tolerance for sentimentality. Make itย verbalย sentimentality and his tolerance dropped into the negatives.
โGood.โ I regained motor control. My glass touched my mouth and whiskey flowed into my stomach, but the shock from Alexโs statement lingered. โBecause if you hurt her again, Iโll take that stick out of your ass and stab you with it.โ
โIf I hurt her again, Iโll let you.โ
A tense beat passed before I let out a short laugh. โYouโve changed.โ
Part of me appreciated the growth, while another part mourned how much time had passed since our friendship ended. Enough that we were funhouse mirror versions of ourselvesโthe same people at our core but distorted by the changes wrought over time.
โEveryone changes. Without change, we might as well be dead.โ It wouldโve been an inspiring quote had Alex not delivered it with all the emotion of a block of ice.
โSpeaking of Avaโฆโ He rolled his empty glass between his finger, his expression even broodier than usual. โIโd hoped we could talk before the girls came back.โ
โWhat do you think weโre doing right now? Chopping liver?โ
โI meanย talk.โ
My smile fell.
There it was. The giant, trumpeting elephant in the room.
Alex and I had avoided talking about what happened since our confrontation after he broke up with Ava.
How he became my friend only to get closer to my father.
How heโd used Ava and broke her heart.
How heโd lied to me for seven fucking years.
Heโd tried reaching out after he and Ava got back together, but Iโd ignored him and weโd never had a real, honest conversation about it.
It was long past due, but that didnโt stop my stomach from knotting with dread at the prospect of digging up bones from the past.
โI understand why youโre still upset with me. It wasโฆa betrayal of trust, what I did. But Iโฆโ Alex paused, clearly searching for the right words. A speechless Alex Volkov was a rare sight, and I wouldโve reveled in it more had I not been so distracted by the burn in my chest.
โIโve never had many friends,โ he finally said. โPeople flocked to me because I was rich, smart, and I could help them get what they wanted.โ He listed the qualities in a detached manner, so self-assured he came off more analytical than arrogant. โThey were transactional relationships, and I was fine with that. But you were my first real friend. Even if my intentions werenโt true at the start of our friendship, everything that came after was.โ
The burn intensified. โWhat you did was fucked up.โ โI know.โ
I rubbed a hand over my face, trying to quiet the debate raging in my head.
Weโd reached a fork in the road. I could either stay on the circular path Iโd walked for the past two years, or I could take the only exit available to me.
The first option was comfortable and familiar, the latter unknown and scary as fuck. I didnโt want to end up betrayed and lied to again.
But Jules was right. Holding onto angerย wasย exhausting, and I was already so fucking tired these days. Physically, mentally, emotionally.
Sometimes, it was a struggle just to breathe.
โItโs been almost two years.โ I was halfway to the exit, but I couldnโt bring myself to take the leap just yet. โWhy
bring this up now?โ
โBecause youโre the most stubborn person Iโve ever met. If someone tries to push you in one direction, youโll do your best to go in the other.โ Dry humor laced his words. โBut what I did was wrong, and I amโฆsorry. For the most part.โ
What the fuck? โThatโs the worst damn apology Iโve ever heard.โ
โI donโt aspire to be the type of person who apologizes so much that they’re good at it.โ
Typical Alex logic.
โBut if I hadnโt done what I did, we wouldโve never been friends, and my lifeโฆโ Another, longer pause. โMy life would be half of what it is today,โ he finished softly.
The burn in my chest spread, and my throat flexed. โYouโre becoming sentimental, Volkov. Donโt let your business opponents know or theyโll eat you alive.โ
โAu contraire. More sentimentality in my personal life means more steam I need to let off elsewhere. Itโs been very lucrative for business.โ Alex oozed satisfaction.
โIโm sure it has.โ I passed my hand over my face again, trying to figure out where to go from here. This was not how Iโd envisioned the day going when I woke up. โYou know we canโt just go back to being best friends again and pretend like the past didnโt happen, right?โ
The line of his jaw turned rigid. โI know.โ
โButโฆif you want to catch a Nats game or something when weโre back in D.C., I wouldnโt be opposed,โ I added gru๏ฌy.
Alex relaxed, and a smile flickered over his mouth. โYou miss the box seats, donโt you?โ
โHell yeah. Iโm open to bribery if you would like to get back into my good graces.โ
โIโll keep that in mind.โ
I finished my second drink before I asked, โHow did you know Ava was the one?โ
Iโd never been in love. I didnโt particularly want to be, but I wanted to know what cracked Alexโs stony heart. Before Ava, I could imagine a robot more capable of feeling than the man sitting next to me.
โI like being with her.โ
โNo shit. Be more specific.โ
He sighed. โItโs easy being with her,โ he said after a long moment. โShe understands me in a way no one else does, even if our worldviews are fundamentally different. When Iโm not with her, I wish she were there. When Iย amย with her, I want that moment to last forever. She makes me want to be a better person, and when I think about a world where she doesnโt existโฆโ His jaw flexed. โI want to burn every inch of it to the ground.โ
I stared at him. โHoly fuck. Who are you and what the fuck have you done to Alex Volkov?โ I clapped him on the back. โWhoever you are, you should write for the murderous edition of Hallmark.โ
Alex glared at me. โTell anyone I said that, and I will skin you alive with a rusted knife to prolong the pain.โ
โExactly. Just like that. So murderously romantic.โ โYour box seats are skating on thin ice, Chen.โ
โHey, remember.ย Iโmย the one who has to forgiveย you. Be nice.โ I motioned the bartender for another drink.
Despite my jokes, my brain couldnโt stop replaying Alexโs words.
When Iโm not with her, I wish she were there. When I
amย with her, I want that moment to last forever.
Iโd never felt that way toward a womanโฆexcept for one.
Unbidden images from the past two months ran through my head. Me and Jules beneath the tree at the picnic. Me telling her about Tanyaโs death in the library. The adorable way her brow scrunched when she was concentrating and the proud smile that lit up her face when I finally proclaimed her ready for the bunny slope in Vermont.
The way she laughed, the way she tasted, and the way I felt when I was with her, like I never wanted her to leave.
Iโd chalked all that up to a mixture of lust and blossoming friendship, but what ifโฆ
No. Fuck no.
Sweat misted my palms. I tossed back my drink without tasting it.
I did notย likeย Jules. Half our fucks were hate fucks. They were hot, but just because I liked fucking her didnโt mean I wanted anything else from her.
So what if she wasnโt as terrible as I originally envisioned? She was stillย her.
Infuriating, snarky, a pain in my fucking assโฆand loyal.
Passionate. So beautiful sometimes it hurt to look at her.
What would I do in a world where Jules didnโt exist? I wouldnโtย burn it down, butโฆ
Fuck,ย why was it so hot in here?
My phone vibrated with an incoming call. I answered it, relieved for the distraction. I would take a hundred telemarketers over my wildly disturbing thoughts.
โHello?โ I didnโt recognize the number, but it contained Eldorraโs country code. Maybe it was the palace or something.
โHey, itโs me,โ Ava said. She sounded subdued.
โWhatโs up? Arenโt you supposed to be at the club right now?โ
My short-lived relief at the distraction faded when she explained her situation.ย God motherfucking dammit.ย Iโd wanted more excitement earlier, but I shouldโve fucking clarified, because this wasย notย what I had in mind. โOkay. Iโll be right thereโฆno. Weโll talk about it later.โ
Alexโs brows formed a deep V as he listened to my end of the call.
โWhatโs wrong?โ he asked after I hung up.
โItโs Ava and the girls.โ I stood and shrugged on my jacket, already halfway out the door. โThey got arrested.โ
