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Chapter no 11 – JULES

Twisted Hate (Twisted, #3)

God was punishing me for wrongs Iโ€™d committed in my past

life. That was the only explanation I could think of for why Iโ€™d been subjected to my predicament.

Josh and I both refused to back down and take the couch, so we were stuck in the same room, the sameย bed, for the next two nights. A gentleman wouldโ€™ve offered to sleep elsewhere, but Josh wasnโ€™t a gentleman. He was the spawn of Satanโ€ฆone who was currently staring at me with narrowed eyes as I tried to finesse my way out of skiing.

โ€œYou guys go ahead,โ€ I told Ava, making a pointed effort to ignore Joshโ€™s suspicious gaze. โ€œI just remembered I left something at the cabin.โ€

โ€œYou sure? I can go with you.โ€

โ€œNah. We already wasted enough time with the room situation, and I might hang in the lodge for a bit first.โ€ I waved a breezy hand in the air. โ€œYou go ahead. Iโ€™ll be fine.โ€

โ€œOkay.โ€ Ava sounded doubtful. โ€œWeโ€™ll be here.โ€

I held my breath and waited until Alex and Ava disappeared on the ski lifts before releasing it. A prickle of anxiety wormed in its way into my system as I eyed the vast expanse of snow before me.

I didnโ€™t think I would be this affected, considering itโ€™d been seven years since my last ski weekend, but that trip

had spawned so many awful memories. Plus, there was the tapeโ€”

Donโ€™t go there.

โ€œWhat the hell did you leave at the cabin?โ€ Josh interrupted my reverie. For someone whoโ€™d been so excited about skiing, he didnโ€™t seem in much of a hurry to hit the slopes.

He was fully decked out in top-of-the-line ski gearโ€”black pants, a blue jacket that stretched across his broad shoulders, and ski goggles heโ€™d pushed up so they sat on top of his gray cap. The outfit lent him a rugged, athletic charm that had half the woman in the vicinity eyeing him with interest.

โ€œI left my phone.โ€ I shoved my hands in my pockets and gripped the phone nestled at the bottom of the right pocket.

โ€œYou had it in your hand on our walk here.โ€

Dammit.ย โ€œWhy are you so concerned with what I left behind?โ€ I deflected. โ€œDonโ€™t you have a black diamond to attend to?โ€

โ€œTripleย black diamond,โ€ Josh corrected. โ€œAnd Iโ€™m working my way up to it.โ€

โ€œWell, donโ€™t let me stop you.โ€

His gaze turned assessing. โ€œWait,โ€ he said slowly, his eyes raking over my form in a way that made my skin itch. โ€œDo you knowย howย to ski?โ€

โ€œOfย courseย I do.โ€ Joshโ€™s eyebrows rose further as monuments to his skepticism, and I added grudgingly, โ€œDepending on how you defineย know.โ€

My ex-boyfriend Max taught me duringย thatย weekend when I was eighteen. I hadnโ€™t touched a pair of skis since.

The anxiety expanded and ate at my nerves, but that didnโ€™t stop me from glaring at Josh when he burst into laughter.

Instead of dignifying his mockery with a response, I turned and stalked away the best I could in my stupid ski

boots. Angry puffs of snow sprayed up with each step.

โ€œCโ€™mon Jules. You love me, right?โ€ Max kissed me and squeezed my ass. โ€œIf you loved me, youโ€™d do this for me. For us.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s for security reasons, babe. In case he decides to press charges.โ€

โ€œI promise Iโ€™ll never show anyone.โ€

Sweat trickled down my spine at the memories, but I forced them back into the box where they belonged before they could replay further. Iโ€™d already lived them once; I didnโ€™t need to do so again.

โ€œWait.โ€ Josh caught up with me, still laughing. The sound chased off the vestiges of my unwanted trip down memory lane, and for once, it didnโ€™t make me want to slap him, though the next words out of his mouth did. โ€œYouโ€™re telling me you dressed up in a ski outfit, rented skis, and came all the way down hereโ€ฆbut youย canโ€™t ski?ย Why the hell didnโ€™t you say anything earlier? You couldโ€™ve signed up for lessons or something.โ€

โ€œI thought I could wing it.โ€ It wasnโ€™t the best plan, but it was a plan. Sort of.

โ€œYou thought you couldย wing skiing?โ€

My cheeks blazed. โ€œObviously, I changed my mind.โ€ โ€œYeah, good thing you did, or you wouldโ€™ve probably

died.โ€ Joshโ€™s laugh finally tapered off, but amusement lingered at the corners of his mouth and teased the dimple making a half appearance.

My stomach dipped. Iโ€™d never faced genuine amusement from Josh before. His smile, absent of sarcasm and maliciousness, wasโ€ฆdisconcerting, even when it was only a quarter of a smile.

โ€œIโ€™m spending the rest of the day in the lodge, so donโ€™t worry about me dying.โ€ I crossed my arms over my chest. โ€œMaybe Iโ€™ll find a guy who can teach me how to ski.โ€

โ€œLike the one you were eye fucking in the lobby?โ€ he asked, his tone dry.

โ€œPerhaps.โ€ I didnโ€™t deign to acknowledge theย eye fuckingย part of Joshโ€™s statement. He seemed strangely fixated on my brief interaction with a stranger, though the guyย hadย been cute. Maybe I could track him down later. Flirting always perked me up, and I could use some action that didnโ€™t come courtesy of my hand or battery-operated friends.

Josh rubbed a hand over his jaw, his brows tight and his cheekbones like slashes against the snowy background. โ€œIโ€™ll teach you how to ski.โ€

โ€œRight.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m serious.โ€

I paused, waiting for him to crack and gloat about how heโ€™d fooled me, and how I didnโ€™tย reallyย think heโ€™d teach me, did I?

But the moment never came.

โ€œWhy would you do that?โ€ My stomach swooped low again for no reason. โ€œWhat about your beloved triple black diamond?โ€

Josh offering to help me madeย no sense,ย especially since heโ€™d been going on about that freaking ski run all morning. If he taught me how to ski, weโ€™d have to stick to the beginnerโ€™s bunny slope.

โ€œIโ€™m doing it because Iโ€™m a nice person. I love helping my sisterโ€™s friends,โ€ Josh said smoothly.ย Right.ย And I was the Queen of fucking England. โ€œBesides, skiing is skiing. Doesnโ€™t matter the slope.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m pretty sure thatโ€™s not true.โ€ Even I, a novice, knew that.

Josh let out a long-suffering sigh. โ€œLook, do you want to learn or not?โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll teach you how to ski.โ€ Maxโ€™s teeth flashed white against his face. โ€œTrust me. I wonโ€™t let you fall.โ€

My chest knotted. I hated that Max still plagued me in the present when he should be rotting in the past, where he belonged.

Because of him, I hadnโ€™t gone skiing in seven years. Itโ€™d been an unconscious choice, but I hadnโ€™t realized how deep the scars ran until now. Everything that reminded me of Max made me want to hurl, but maybe it was time to replace those bad memories with new ones.

I didnโ€™tย wantย ski lessons from Josh, but I needed them.

They would be a distraction, and when I got like thisโ€”when my mind couldnโ€™t stop obsessing over the past to the point where I drove myself crazyโ€”distractions were the only lifeline I had.

โ€œFine.โ€ I rubbed the sleeve of my jacket between my thumb and forefinger, taking comfort in the sensation of thick, sturdy material against my skin. โ€œBut if I die, Iโ€™ll come back as a ghost and haunt you until the day you die.โ€

โ€œNoted. Iโ€™m surprised you donโ€™t know how to ski,โ€ he said as we walked toward the bunny slope. โ€œThought you grew up near Blue Mills.โ€

Blue Mills was Ohioโ€™s most famous ski resort, and it was located less than an hourโ€™s drive from Whittlesburg, the Columbus suburb where I grew up.

โ€œMy family wasnโ€™t big on skiing.โ€ I zipped and unzipped the top of my jacket to release some of the restless energy pouring through my veins. โ€œWe didnโ€™t have the money for it even if we were.โ€

I wanted to snatch back the accidental admission the second it left my mouth, but it was too late.

A frown carved itself into Joshโ€™s forehead.

He knew Iโ€™d attended Thayer undergrad on a need- based scholarship, but what he and even my closest friendsย didnโ€™tย know was how bad itโ€™d been in the early years, before my mother married Alastair. And they sure as hell didnโ€™t know how much worse it gotย afterย she married him, even though Alastair had been the richest man in town.

โ€œYou donโ€™t talk much about your family.โ€ Josh skipped over the part about us not being able to afford skiingโ€”a

tiny kindness I hadnโ€™t expected but was nonetheless grateful for.

โ€œThereโ€™s not much to talk about.โ€ I bit the inside of my cheek until a faint coppery taste filled my mouth. โ€œFamily is family. You know how it is.โ€

A shadow crossed his face, dimming the light in his eyes and erasing any trace of his dimple. โ€œI donโ€™t think my family situation is a common one.โ€

I suppressed a wince.

Right.ย Psycho father who tried to kill Avaย twiceย and who was now serving life behind bars. Not common indeed.

Michael Chen had seemed so normal, but the biggest monsters always lurked beneath the most unsuspecting guises.

Josh and I didnโ€™t speak again until we arrived at the bunny slope.

โ€œWeโ€™ll run through the basics first before going up the hill,โ€ he said. โ€œDonโ€™t need you crashing into a poor child and traumatizing them. Lucky for you, Iโ€™m an awesome teacher, so this shouldnโ€™t take too long.โ€

โ€œYour hilarity is only matched by your modesty,โ€ I deadpanned. โ€œOkay,ย awesome teacher,ย letโ€™s see what you got. And remember.โ€ I pointed at him. โ€œIf I die, Iโ€™m haunting your ass for eternity.โ€

Josh placed a hand over his heart, a scandalized expression spreading across his face. Any hints of his earlier brooding had disappeared. โ€œJR, Iโ€™m shocked. There areย childrenย around. Try to keep your obsession with my ass under wraps until we return to our room.โ€

I mimed gagging. โ€œUnless you want my vomit decorating your fancy ski suit, I suggest you stop talking and start teaching.โ€

โ€œI canโ€™t teach without talking, genius.โ€ โ€œOh, shut up. You know what I mean.โ€

After another few minutes of bickering, we strapped on our skis and got down to business. I wasnโ€™t a total novice,

so I picked up the basics quickly. In theory, anyway.

I had the etiquette down pat, but we hit aย tinyย bump when Josh ran me through a series of exercises designed to make me more comfortable on skis.

โ€œShit!โ€ Frustration welled in my stomach when my ass hit the ground for what mustโ€™ve been the dozenth time.

I didnโ€™t remember it being so hard the first time around. I prided myself on being a fast learner, but weโ€™d been at it for the better part of the morning and Iโ€™d only marginally improved.

โ€œLetโ€™s try again.โ€

To my surprise, Josh had remained calm during our entire lesson, never yelling or teasing me for not picking up what eleven-year-olds around us were accomplishing so spectacularly. Every time I messed up, he repeated the same three words.ย Letโ€™s try again.

For the first time, I saw what he must be like in the emergency room: cool, level-headed, patient. It was strangely comforting, though Iโ€™d never admit it.

โ€œI donโ€™t think Iโ€™m built for skiing.โ€ I pushed myself off the ground with a wince. โ€œI propose we ditch the slopes for hot chocolate and people watching. We can guess whoโ€™s here with their mistress and whoโ€™ll be the first to hook up with a staff member.โ€

Theย weย slipped out without thinking. Since when did I

voluntarily include Josh in my activities? But people watching was no fun without someone to appreciate my insights, and since Ava was preoccupied, her brother was my only option.

Josh walked toward me, his steps slow and precise, until he was so close I could smell the faint, delicious scent of his cologne.

I forced myself not to shift beneath the weight of his scrutiny.

โ€œWe could do that,โ€ he said. โ€œBut that would be quitting.

Are you a quitter, Jules?โ€

My pulse kicked up at the sound of my name in that deep, slightly husky voice. Had he always sounded like that, or was I going crazy? His voice used to pierce my eardrums like nails dragging across a chalkboard. Now, it wasโ€ฆ

Nope. Not going there.

โ€œNo.โ€ I held his stare even as another bead of sweat rolled down my spine, leaving a trail of heat and electricity in its wake. โ€œIโ€™m not.โ€

The mere suggestion I was a quitter made my teeth clench.

โ€œGood,โ€ Josh said, still in that calm, even voice. โ€œTry again.โ€

I did, again and again, until my muscles screamed and exhaustion clawed at my bones. But Iย wouldย get the hang of this. Iโ€™d mastered harder things than skiing, and failure wasnโ€™t an option. Iย neededย to prove to myself I could do this. My pride wouldnโ€™t allow anything else.

All the torture finally paid off an hour later when I completed all the exercises without falling and Josh proclaimed me ready for the bunny slope.

โ€œGood job.โ€ The corners of his mouth pulled up just the tiniest bit. โ€œYou caught on faster than most people.โ€

I narrowed my eyes, trying to detect any hint of sarcasm, but he sounded sincere.

Huh.

We walked to the top of the hill, where Josh gestured toward a spot in the distance.

โ€œWeโ€™ll take it easy,โ€ he said. โ€œIโ€™m going to stand there, and I want you to ski down and stop in front of me using the snowplow. Do you need me to go over how to do it again?โ€

โ€œNo. I got it.โ€

My stomach jumped with nerves and anticipation as Josh took his spot and motioned for me to join him.

Here goes nothing.

I took a deep breath and started my descent. I was going aย littleย faster than I should, given the short distance to Josh, but that was fine. I could just snowplow early.

Honestly, this wasnโ€™t so bad. It was actually kind of exhilaratingโ€”the wind in my face, the fresh mountain air, the smooth glide of my skis against the snow. It was nothing like my weekend with Max. I might evenโ€”

โ€œStop!โ€

Joshโ€™s shout yanked me out of my rambling thoughts, and alarm kicked me in the gut when I realized how fast I was speeding toward him.

Shit.ย I pushed the backs of my skis out to form an

inverted V, the way heโ€™d taught me, but it was too late. Velocity propelled me faster and faster down the hill untilโ€” โ€œFuck!โ€ I crashed into Josh with enough force to knock

both of us to the ground.

My breath whooshed out of my lungs in a painful rush, and he let out an audible grunt as I landed on top of him, our limbs akimbo, snow spraying up and sprinkling us with tiny white crystals.

โ€œWhat part ofย stopย donโ€™t you understand?โ€ he growled,

annoyance stamped on every inch of his face.

โ€œIย triedย to stop,โ€ I said defensively. โ€œIt didnโ€™t work.โ€

โ€œObviously.โ€ Josh let out a small cough. โ€œChrist, I think you bruised my ribs.โ€

โ€œStop being dramatic. Youโ€™re fine.โ€ Nevertheless, I glanced down to make sure we werenโ€™t bleeding and that our arms and legs werenโ€™t bent at unnatural angles. I couldnโ€™tย seeย bruised ribs, but his face wasnโ€™t scrunched in pain or anything, so I assumed he wasnโ€™t dying.

โ€œYou couldโ€™ve killed me.โ€

I rolled my eyes. And people saidย Iย was a drama queen. โ€œIt was a fall, Chen. You couldโ€™ve moved out of the way.โ€

โ€œSomehow, Iโ€™m not surprised youโ€™re blaming me for somethingย youย did wrong. Youโ€™re something else, JR.โ€

โ€œStop calling me JR.โ€ It was an inane argument to have while we were plastered together on the snow, but I was so freaking sick of that nickname. Every time I heard it, I lost a fraction of my sanity.

โ€œFine.โ€ The annoyance evaporated from Joshโ€™s expression and gave way to lazy mischief. โ€œYouโ€™re something else, Red.โ€

โ€œRed. How creative,โ€ I said flatly. โ€œIโ€™m ba๏ฌ„ed by how you come up with such unique and totally not obvious nicknames.โ€

โ€œDidnโ€™t realize you spent so much time thinking about my nicknames for you.โ€ Josh tugged on a lock of my hair, a wicked gleam entering his eyes. โ€œAnd Iโ€™m not calling you Red because of your hair color. Iโ€™m calling you Red because you make meย seeย red half the time. Plus, it rolls off the tongue better than JR.โ€

My answering smile contained enough sugar to give him diabetes on the spot. โ€œI can see how two syllables might be too much for your puny brain to handle.โ€

โ€œBabe, nothing about me is puny.โ€ Josh lowered his hand and let it drift to my shoulder, where it lingered long enough to sear through layers of fabric and into my bones.

My breath caught in my throat. An unwitting mental image of hisย nothingย flashed through my mind, and a hum of electricity surged through my blood, so swift and unexpected I lost my words.

For the first time in my life, I couldnโ€™t think of a single comeback.

Instead, I was suddenly, painfully aware of how close we were. I still lay on top of him from our fall, and our torsos pressed so tight against each other I could feel his heartbeatโ€”fast, erratic, and completely at odds with his languorous drawl. The white plumes of our breaths mingled in the tiny distance between our faces, and a brief zing of surprise traveled through me at the sight.

Considering the tightness in my chest, I hadnโ€™t thought I was breathing at all.

Joshโ€™s smile faded, but his hand remained on my shoulderโ€”a whisper-light touch compared to his earlier hair tug, yet enough for me to feel it from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

I licked my parched lips, and his eyes darkened before dipping to my mouth.

The hum of electricity transformed into a bolt of lightning, lighting me up from the inside.

I should get off him. Iย neededย to get off him before my thoughts wandered down even more disturbing paths, but there was something so reassuring about the solid weight of his body beneath mine. He smelled like winter and heat all wrapped into one, and it was making me light-headed.

Itโ€™s just the mountain air. Get yourself together.

โ€œJules,โ€ he said softly.

โ€œYeah?โ€ The word stuck in my throat before it came out all wrong. Weird and raspy and not at all like my normal voice.

โ€œOn a scale of one to ten, how badly do you want to fuck me right now?โ€

The moment shattered into a thousand pieces.

My skin flamed as I shoved myself off him, making sure to jab my elbow into his face as I did so.

โ€œNegative one thousand,โ€ I hissed. โ€œTimes infinity.โ€

Joshโ€™s laugh erased any goodwill heโ€™d accrued during our ski lessons.

I couldn’t believe I ever thought he might be tolerable. One decent morning didn’t change the fact that he was still the same insufferable, cocky jerk heโ€™d always been.

The worst part? He wasnโ€™t entirely wrong. For just a moment, I had imagined what his hands would feel like on my skin, what his mouth would taste like, and whether he preferred it slow and sensual or fast and intense.

A ball of angry embarrassment lodged in my throat. Clearly, I needed to get laid, and fast, if I was fantasizing about freaking Josh Chen.

โ€œMethinks the lady doth protest too much.โ€ Josh propped himself up, a smug grin on his face, his eyes simmering with barely contained heat. At least I wasnโ€™t the only one affected by our closeness. โ€œWe can make this happen, you know. Iโ€™m no longer opposed to the idea. Our relationship is progressing.โ€

โ€œThe only relationship we have is in your dreams.โ€ I yanked off my cap and raked a hand through my messy hair. โ€œLessons are over.โ€

โ€œQuitter.โ€ His soft mockery sent a prickling sensation across my skin, but I refused to take the bait again.

โ€œIโ€™m not quitting; Iโ€™m postponing.โ€ I jutted out my chin defiantly. โ€œIโ€™ll sign up for real lessons with the resort tomorrow. Maybe Iโ€™ll get that guy from the lobby as my instructor.โ€ Blond hair, eager smile, and a muscled body. Lobby Guy practically had โ€œSki Broโ€ stamped on his forehead. โ€œIโ€™m sure Iโ€™ll actually enjoy my time with him.โ€

Joshโ€™s grin turned sharp. โ€œWhatever you need to tell yourself, Red.โ€

Instead of engaging, I turned on my heels and stormed away as gracefully as I could in my skis. I shouldโ€™ve taken them off before my grand exit, but it was too late for that.

The dull ache of irritation throbbed in my stomach and intensified the closer I got to the lodge. God, I was an idiot. I shouldโ€™ve known better than toโ€”

Out of nowhere, the ache escalated into blinding pain. It ripped through me like a serrated blade and forced me to double over with a small gasp.

No. No, no, no.

My pulse roared in my ears.

It was too early. It wasnโ€™t supposed to happen until next week.

But when another spike of pain caused tears to form in my eyes, it was clear Mother Nature didnโ€™t give a damn about my schedules.

It was happeningย now,ย and there was nothing I could do about it.

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