Margo sits across from me at the student center. Her face is pale, and she looks like she might hurl.
โHangover?โ I ask as we eat lunch together.
โUghhhh,โ comes from her as she sucks down her second glass of water. โI should have told you to hydrate last night. Champagne headaches are
the worst.โ I grimace. I was smart and took a Tylenol before I went to bed; plus, I guzzled a Gatorade.
She nods and looks down at her pizza. โI donโt think I can eat this.โ
โItโs barely edible anyway,โ I say as I munch on my slice that has pepperoni, sausage, and mushrooms.
โI ended up going back to Connorโs place last night.โ My ears perk up. โOh yeah?โ
โWe had a few more drinks. We might have played strip chess.โ She gulps. โThen I woke up on his couch wearing his shirt and my underwear.โ
โAndโฆdid anything happen?โ
She groans. โThatโs the bad part. I have no idea. I got up before he did, grabbed my shit, and left.โ
She said shit. I bite back a grin.
โWell if you were on the couch, probably nothing happened.โ
She sighs. โI guess.โ Giving herself a shake, she tightens her sweater around her shoulders and crosses her arms. โSo, whatโs the latest on the party? We all ready for tomorrow?โ
I set down my pizza, flip my notebook page, and run my gaze over my list. I feel as if Iโm moving in slow motion. All I can think about is Ryker and what he said. I shove it down and bury it deep. โYes. Weโre meeting the pledges here and walking over to the game together. Then weโll head to the house. Everythingโs all set.โ
โAnd the players? Did Charisma take care of uninviting them?โ
I nod. Charisma eagerly volunteered to be the one to text Blaze. Her message said,ย If any football players show up, we will pull your nipples off. Really. We will.
โSheโs got it covered.โ
Margo nods. โGood.โ Then she frowns and gives me an odd look. โWhatโs up?โ I say.
โYou recall the day I was with Ryker in the science building and you
showed up?โ I nod.
Her chest leans in over the table, and thereโs a glint in her eyes. โI just remembered something Archer said to him. They didnโt know I was standing there, and it was hard to hear, but I caught the gist of it.โ
โWhat?โ My lips tighten.
โNo, itโs not bad. I recall Archer giving him grief about a bet and Ryker saying heย wasnโtย doing any bets.โ She squints. โI really think Archer was referring to you, because you had just walked past us.โ Her teeth chew on her bottom lip. โDoes that make you feel better?โ
I shrug. The truth is he told them heย won.
I sigh. โAre you saying you want Ryker at the party?โ
She waves her hands. โNo, no! I donโt care about that anymore. That whole thing was stupid, and I never should have put my own issues with the Thetas over everything elseโฆโ She stops. โIโm just trying to be a good stepsister, I guess, and help you figure this out.โ
I smile. Something good has happened. Weโre friends.
Her eyes go past my shoulder and land on something. Her expression hardens. โThereโs Archer. Donโt look, but holy moly, his face.โ
Of course I look. I turn around, and heโs coming out of the bookstore. Thereโs no Sasha next to him and no other players. Heโs wearing a black hoodie with the top up, but it doesnโt hide that he now has two black eyes. His gaze darts around the student center and then he hurries down the steps and out to campus.
My hands clench around my notebook.ย Shit.
Margo grimaces. โHe looks like someone beat the poop out of him.โ โAgain,โ I say.
Charisma has come in from getting her pizza and takes a seat across from me. โYep. I heard about it in class this morning. Apparently Ryker showed up at his door, pulled him out in the hall, and pummeled him. Took four RAs and the house director to get him off Archer.โ She chews on a slice. โNone of his buddies helped him either. Not one single player on the defense.โ
My face is grim. โWhatโs everyone saying about me and Ryker? Does everyone know?โ
She gives me a pat. โNo one is saying anything, and Iโve been pressing.
Thereโs nothing on social media. Only assholes will talk it up anyway.โ I nod.
โWhat did Ryker say last night? Maybe heโs the one squashing this?โ I shrug.
Iโm just soโฆdone. And broken.
Just talking about him makes my chest ache.
Iโm walking out of my writing class when I pass by my dadโs office. I see it two times a week as I walk this hallway and never once have I stopped to see if heโs there.
Somethingโs different today. I feel different. Raw. Emotional.
Hitching my backpack up on my shoulder, I ease over to the sign posted next to his door to check out his office hours. He doesnโt have a class scheduled right now, and when I knock on the beveled glass door, his gruff voice says, โCome in.โ
I open the door and step inside. Itโs a spacious office with a big window, dusty potted plants, and a few shabby armchairsโtypical professor. A large oak desk dominates the room with a line of heavy bookshelves behind it. My gaze lands there and stays.
โHave a seat, please. Got to get these grades in before I lose my place.โ Heโs got readers on and is staring down at his desktop.
โOkay.โ I settle into one of the roomy green armchairs across from him. At the sound of my voice, his head pops up and he takes off his glasses,
setting them on the papers in front of him. โPenelope! What a pleasure. I wasnโt expecting you. How are you?โ
โGood.โ
โClasses going well?โ I nod. โOf course.โ
He stands up and comes out from behind his desk to give me one of his hugs. He pats me gently on the back.
He looks down at me and smiles then frowns, giving me some space as he goes back to his desk. โHowโs the job at Sugarโs?โ
โGreat.โ
Itโs our typical run-through of questions. Just like we always do. โIโm still at the library too.โ
He nods, looking perhaps a little excited that Iโm here but also uncertain.
His voice is careful. โIs everything okay?โ
Okay?
Not exactly. My heartโs been crushed by a football player.
But I donโt think thatโs why Iโm really here. Iโm here because this has been a while coming. Heโs worked here for three years, and Iโve never once visited.
My eyes rove over the room and I see pictures of me in various places. One of a piano recital, another of me on a horse at camp, one of me in choir. My high school graduation is front and center on his desk. Mom took them all, and theyโre copies Iโve never seen. I suppose she sent them to him. The only event he attended was my graduation. I take in the family photo of all of
us this past 4thย of July at his pool. He even had a special timed camera and arranged us altogether, me, Margo, Cora, him holding Cyan.
He follows my eyes. โNot sure youโve ever been to see me here. Iโve got quite the collection.โ A sigh slips out of his mouth. โIt was tough not being there for all your adventures.โ
But heโll be there for Cyanโs.
I tamp that feeling down, and really, it doesnโt have the bite it usually does.
โIโm proud of you, you know.โ He tilts his head toward my graduation picture. โI was never as smart as you.โ He chuckles. โYou definitely got that from your mom. Remember how she got you doing the word of the day when you were little?โ
โYeah.โ
He leans on his desk, his eyes on my face, and I know heโs trying to suss out why Iโm here, what I could possibly wantโbut even Iโm not sure of that.
Thereโs a cross-stitched piece of art framed on his wall, and I stare at it, feeling my eyes water. Cora made it, Iโm sure. Sheโs always working on things like that. Itโs big, about eight by ten, and has hearts on it with a stick family of fiveโand I guess itโs all of us. In the middle is a caption.ย Live love, breathe love, give love.
I chew on my lip and hug my backpack. โPenelope?โ
A tear has made its way down my face, and I swipe at it. I take a breath, the words lingering at the periphery of my mind, the ones it takes having your heart broken to really understand.
โI miss Momโฆso muchโฆโ I stop and take the Kleenex he gives me. โI know, love.โ
I suck in a breath. โIt hurts that you found someone so fast and then started a whole new familyโฆโ
โI understand.โ His voice is soft. โI didnโt plan on it. I came back for you, and in the meantime, I met Cora. Love works like that sometimes, comes right out of the blue and you see that you didnโt even realize everything youโve been missing.โ
I nod and think of Ryker.
โSheโs my second chance, I suppose. I love her more than anythingโjust like I love you. Unconditionally.โ
I let out a shaky breath. โYouโre really trying. You got me a car, that
interview with the book agentโฆโ My voice drifts off. โIโm sorry it didnโt work out.โ
I wave him off. โNo, it didnโt, but itโs good for me. I may get shot down a hundred times before I figure it out.โ
He agrees. โWhatever you do with your life, youโre going to be amazing, Penelope. Vivien raised a kind, beautiful person.โ He pauses. โI want to be a good dad to you. I want to be better than I was when you were little.โ
I nod, my eyes watering again. โAnd I do want to be part of your family. I want it more than anything.โ I whisper the last bit, and he makes a noise in his throat as if heโs overcome. He comes back around the desk to wrap me up in a hug, and I hang on to himโmaybe for the first time ever.
And everything with Ryker and the betโฆI hug my dad and let it all go.