Lady Penwood appears to have left town. So does Lady Bridgerton. Interesting . . .
LADY WHISTLEDOWNโS SOCIETY PAPERS, 18 JUNE 1817
Benedict decided he had never loved his mother more than he did at that very minute. He was trying not to grin, but it was exceedingly difficult with Lady Penwood gasping like a fish on land.
The magistrateโs eyes bugged out. โYouโre not suggesting I arrest the
countess?โ
โNo, of course not,โ Violet demurred. โSheโd likely go free. The aristocracy rarely pays for its crimes. But,โ she added, tilting her head slightly to the side as she gave Lady Penwood a very pointed glance, โif youย wereย to arrest her, it would be terribly embarrassing while she defended the charges.โ
โWhat are you trying to say?โ Lady Penwood asked through decidedly clenched teeth.
Violet turned to the magistrate. โMight I have a few moments alone with Lady Penwood?โ
โOf course, my lady.โ He gave her a gruff nod, then barked, โEveryone!
Out!โ
โNo, no,โ Violet said with a sweet smile as she pressed something that looked suspiciously like a pound note into his palm. โMy family may stay.โ
The magistrate blushed slightly, then grabbed the wardenโs arm and yanked him out of the room.
โThere now,โ Violet murmured. โWhere were we?โ
Benedict beamed with pride as he watched his mother march right up to Lady Penwood and stare her down. He stole a glance at Sophie. Her mouth was hanging open.
โMy son is going to marry Sophie,โ Violet said, โand you are going to tell anyone who will listen that she was the ward of your late husband.โ
โI will never lie for her,โ Lady Penwood shot back.
Violet shrugged. โFine. Then you can expect my solicitors to begin looking for Sophieโs dowry immediately. After all, Benedict will be entitled to it once he marries her.โ
Benedict slipped his arm around Sophieโs waist and gave her a light squeeze.
โIf someone asks me,โ Lady Penwood ground out, โI will confirm whatever story you bandy about. But do not expect me to go out of my way to help her.โ
Violet pretended to mull that over, then said, โExcellent. I do believe that will do nicely.โ She turned to her son. โBenedict?โ
He gave her a sharp nod.
His mother turned back to Lady Penwood. โSophieโs father was named Charles Beckett and he was a distant cousin of the earlโs, no?โ
Lady Penwood looked as if sheโd swallowed a bad clam, but she nodded nonetheless.
Violet pointedly turned her back on the countess, and said, โIโm sure some members of theย tonย will consider her a bit shabby, since obviously nobody will be familiar with her family, but at least she will be respectable. After allโโshe turned back around and flashed a wide smile at Araminta
โโthere is that connection with the Penwoods.โ
Araminta let out a strange, growling sound. It was all Benedict could do not to laugh.
โOh, magistrate!โ Violet called out, and when he bustled back into the room, she smiled gamely at him and said, โI believe my work here is done.โ
He let out a sigh of relief, saying, โThen I donโt have to arrest anyone?โ โIt seems not.โ
He practically sagged against the wall.
โWell, I am leaving!โ Lady Penwood announced, as if anyone might possibly miss her. She turned to her daughter with furious eyes. โCome along, Posy.โ
Benedict watched as the blood quite literally drained from Posyโs face. But before he could intervene, Sophie jumped forward, blurting out, โLady Bridgerton!โ just as Araminta roared,ย โNow!โ
โYes, dear?โ
Sophie grabbed Violetโs arm and pulled her close enough to whisper something in her ear.
โQuite right,โ Violet said. She turned to Posy. โMiss Gunningworth?โ โActually, itโs Miss Reiling,โ Posy corrected. โThe earl never adopted
me.โ
โOf course. Miss Reiling. How old are you?โ โOne-and-twenty, my lady.โ
โWell, thatโs certainly old enough to make your own decisions. Would you like to come to my home for a visit?โ
โOh,ย yes!โ
โPosy, you mayย notย go live with the Bridgertons!โ Araminta ordered. Violet ignored her completely as she said to Posy, โI believe I will quit
London early this season. Would you care to join us for an extended stay in Kent?โ
Posy nodded quickly. โI would be much obliged.โ โThat settles it, then.โ
โThat does not settle it,โ Araminta snapped. โShe is my daughter, and
โโ
โBenedict,โ Lady Bridgerton said in a rather bored voice, โwhat was the
name of my solicitor?โ
โGo!โ Araminta spat at Posy. โAnd donโt ever darken my door again.โ
For the first time that afternoon, Posy began to look a little scared. It didnโt help when her mother stalked right up to her and hissed straight in her face, โIf you go with them now, you are dead to me. Do you understand?ย Dead!โ
Posy threw a panicked look at Violet, who immediately stepped forward and linked their arms together.
โItโs all right, Posy,โ Violet said softly. โYou may stay with us as long as you wish.โ
Sophie stepped forward and slid her arm through Posyโs free one. โNow we will be sisters truly,โ she said, leaning forward and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
โOh, Sophie,โ Posy cried out, a well of tears bursting forth. โIโm so sorry! I never stood up for you. I should have said something. I should have done something, butโโ
Sophie shook her head. โYou were young. I was young. And I know better than anyone how difficult it is to defyย her.โ She threw a scathing glare at Araminta.
โDonโt you speak to me that way,โ Araminta seethed, raising her hand as if to strike.
โAh ah ah!โ Violet cut in. โThe solicitors, Lady Penwood. Donโt forget the solicitors.โ
Araminta dropped her hand, but she looked as if she might spontaneously burst into flame at any moment.
โBenedict?โ Violet called out. โHow quickly could we be at the solicitorsโ office?โ
Grinning inside, he gave his chin a thoughtful stroke. โTheyโre not too terribly far away. Twenty minutes? Thirty if the roads are full.โ
Araminta shook with rage as she directed her words at Violet. โTake her then. Sheโs never been anything to me but a disappointment. And you can expect to be stuck with her until your dying day, as no one is likely to offer for her. I have to bribe men just to ask her to dance.โ
And then the strangest thing occurred. Sophie began to shake. Her skin turned red, her teeth clenched, and the most amazing roar burst forth from her mouth. And before anyone could even think to intervene, she had planted her fist squarely into Aramintaโs left eye and sent the older woman sprawling.
Benedict had thought that nothing could have surprised him more than his motherโs heretofore undetected Machiavellian streak.
He was wrong.
โThat,โ Sophie hissed, โisย notย for stealing my dowry. Itโs not for all the times you tried to boot me out of my house before my father died. And itโs not even for turning me into your personal slave.โ
โEr, Sophie,โ Benedict said mildly, โwhat, then, is it for?โ
Sophieโs eyes never wavered off of Aramintaโs face as she said, โThatย was for not loving your daughters equally.โ
Posy began to bawl.
โThereโs a special place in hell for mothers like you,โ Sophie said, her voice dangerously low.
โYou know,โ the magistrate squeaked, โwe really do need to clear this cell out for the next occupant.โ
โHeโs right,โ Violet said quickly, stepping in front of Sophie before she decided to start kicking Araminta. She turned to Posy. โHave you any belongings you wish to retrieve?โ
Posy shook her head.
Violetโs eyes turned sad as she gave Posyโs hand a little squeeze. โWe shall make new memories for you, my dear.โ
Araminta rose to her feet, gave Posy one last horrific glare, then stalked away.
โWell,โ Violet declared, planting her hands on her hips. โI thought she would never leave.โ
Benedict disengaged his arm from Sophieโs waist with a murmur of, โDonโt move a muscle,โ then walked quickly to his motherโs side.
โHave I told you lately,โ he whispered in her ear, โhow much I love you?โ
โNo,โ she said with a jaunty smile, โbut I know, anyway.โ โHave I mentioned that youโre the best of mothers?โ โNo, but I know that, too.โ
โGood.โ He leaned down and dropped a kiss on her cheek. โThank you.
Itโs a privilege to be your son.โ
His mother, who had held her own throughout the day, and indeed proven herself the most hardheaded and quick-witted of them all, burst into tears.
โWhat did you say to her?โ Sophie demanded.
โItโs all right,โ Violet said, sniffling mightily. โItโs . . .โ She threw her arms around Benedict. โI love you, too!โ
Posy turned to Sophie and said, โThis is a nice family.โ Sophie turned to Posy and said, โI know.โ
One hour later Sophie was in Benedictโs sitting room, perched on the very same sofa on which she had lost her innocence just a few weeks earlier. Lady Bridgerton had questioned the wisdom (and propriety) of Sophieโs going to Benedictโs home by herself, but he had given her such a look that she had quickly backed down, saying only, โJust have her home by seven.โ
Which gave them one hour together.
โIโm sorry,โ Sophie blurted out, the instant her bottom touched the sofa. For some reason they hadnโt said anything during the carriage ride home. Theyโd held hands, and Benedict had brought her fingers to his lips, but they hadnโt said anything.
Sophie had been relieved. She hadnโt been ready for words. It had been easy at the jail, with all the commotion and so many people, but now that they were alone . . .
She didnโt know what to say. Except, she supposed, โIโm sorry.โ
โNo, Iโm sorry,โ Benedict replied, sitting beside her and taking her hands in his.
โNo, Iโmโโ She suddenly smiled. โThis is very silly.โ โI love you,โ he said.
Her lips parted.
โI want to marry you,โ he said. She stopped breathing.
โAnd I donโt care about your parents or my motherโs bargain with Lady Penwood to make you respectable.โ He stared down at her, his dark eyes meltingly in love. โI would have married you no matter what.โ
Sophie blinked. The tears in her eyes were growing fat and hot, and she had a sneaking suspicion that she was about to make a fool of herself by blubbering all over him. She managed to say his name, then found herself completely lost from there.
Benedict squeezed her hands. โWe couldnโt have lived in London, I know, but we donโt need to live in London. When I thought about what it was in life I really neededโnot what I wanted, but what I neededโthe only thing that kept coming up was you.โ
โIโโ
โNo, let me finish,โ he said, his voice suspiciously hoarse. โI shouldnโt have asked you to be my mistress. It wasnโt right of me.โ
โBenedict,โ she said softly, โwhat else would you have done? You thought me a servant. In a perfect world we could have married, but this isnโt a perfect world. Men like you donโt marryโโ
โFine. I wasnโt wrong to ask, then.โ He tried to smile. It came out lopsided. โI would have been a fool not to ask. I wanted you so badly, and I think I already loved you, andโโ
โBenedict, you donโt have toโโ
โExplain? Yes, I do. I should never have pressed the issue once you refused my offer. It was unfair of me to ask, especially when we both knew that I would eventually be expected to marry. I would die before sharing you. How could I ask you to do the same?โ
She reached out and brushed something off of his cheek. Jesus, was he crying? He couldnโt remember the last time heโd cried. When his father had died, perhaps? Even then, his tears had fallen in private.
โThere are so many reasons I love you,โ he said, each word emerging with careful precision. He knew that he had won her. She wasnโt going to run away; sheย wouldย be his wife. But he still wanted this to be perfect. A man only got one shot at declaring himself to his true love; he didnโt want to muck it up completely.
โBut one of the things I love best,โ he continued, โis the fact that you know yourself. You know who you are, and what you value. You have principles, Sophie, and you stick by them.โ He took her hand and brought it to his lips. โThat is so rare.โ
Her eyes were filling with tears, and all he wanted to do was hold her, but he knew he had to finish. So many words had been welling up inside of him, and they all had to be said.
โAnd,โ he said, his voice dropping in volume, โyou took the time to seeย me. To know me. Benedict. Not Mr. Bridgerton, not โNumber Two.โ Benedict.โ
She touched his cheek. โYouโre the finest person I know. I adore your family, but I loveย you.โ
He crushed her to him. He couldnโt help it. He had to feel her in his arms, to reassure himself that she was there and that she would always be there. With him, by his side, until death did they part. It was strange, but he was driven by the oddest compulsion to hold her . . . just hold her.
He wanted her, of course. He always wanted her. But more than that, he wanted to hold her. To smell her, to feel her.
He was, he realized, comforted by her presence. They didnโt need to talk. They didnโt even need to touch (although he wasnโt about to let go just then). Simply put, he was a happier manโand quite possibly a better man
โwhen she was near.
He buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent, smelling . . .
Smelling . . .
He drew back. โWould you care for a bath?โ
Her face turned an instant scarlet. โOh, no,โ she moaned, the words muffled into the hand sheโd clapped over her mouth. โIt was so filthy in jail, and I was forced to sleep on the ground, andโโ
โDonโt tell me any more,โ he said. โButโโ
โPlease.โย If he heard more he might have to kill someone. As long as there had been no permanent damage, he didnโt want to know the details.
โI think,โ he said, the first hint of a smile tugging at the left corner of his mouth, โthat you should take a bath.โ
โRight.โ She nodded as she rose to her feet. โIโll go straight to your motherโsโโ
โHere.โ
โHere?โ
The smile spread to the right corner of his mouth. โHere.โ โBut we told your motherโโ
โThat youโd be home by nine.โ โI think she said seven.โ
โDid she? Funny, I heard nine.โ โBenedict . . .โ
He took her hand and pulled her toward the door. โSeven sounds an
awfulย lot like nine.โ โBenedict . . .โ
โActually, it sounds even more like eleven.โ โBenedict!โ
He deposited her right by the door. โStay here.โ โI beg your pardon?โ
โDonโt move a muscle,โ he said, touching his fingertip to her nose.
Sophie watched helplessly as he slipped out into the hall, only to return two minutes later. โWhere did you go?โ she asked.
โTo order a bath.โ โButโโ
His eyes grew very, very wicked. โFor two.โ She gulped.
He leaned forward. โThey happened to have water heating already.โ
โThey did?โ
He nodded. โItโll only take a few minutes to fill the tub.โ She glanced toward the front door. โItโs nearly seven.โ โBut Iโm allowed to keep you until twelve.โ
โBenedict!โ
He pulled her close. โYou want to stay.โ โI never said that.โ
โYou donโt have to. If you really disagreed with me, youโd have something more to say than, โBenedictโ!โ
She had to smile; he didย thatย good an imitation of her voice. His mouth curved into a devilish grin. โAm I wrong?โ
She looked away, but she knew her lips were twitching.
โI thought not,โ he murmured. He motioned with his head toward the stairs. โCome with me.โ
She went.
To Sophieโs great surprise, Benedict vacated the room while she undressed for her bath. She held her breath as she pulled her dress over her head. He was right; she did smell rank.
The maid who had drawn the bath had scented it with oil and a sudsy soap that left bubbles floating on the surface. Once Sophie had shed all of her clothing, she dipped her toe into the steaming water. The rest of her soon followed.
Heaven. It was hard to believe it had only been two days since sheโd had a bath. One night in jail made it feel more like a year.
Sophie tried to clear her mind and enjoy the hedonism of the moment, but it was difficult to enjoy with the anticipation growing within her veins. She knew when sheโd decided to stay that Benedict planned on joining her. She could have refused; for all his wheedling and cajoling, he would have taken her back home to his motherโs.
But she had decided to stay. Somewhere between the sitting-room doorway and the base of the stairs sheโd realized sheย wantedย to stay. It had been such a long road to this moment, and she wasnโt quite ready to relinquish him, even if it would only be until the following morning, when he was sure to come by his motherโs for breakfast.
He would be here soon. And when he was . . .
She shivered. Even in the steaming hot tub, she shivered. And then, as she was sinking deeper into the water, allowing it to rise above her shoulders and neck, even right up to her nose, she heard the click of the door opening.
Benedict. He was wearing a dark green dressing gown, tied with a sash at his waist. His feet were bare, as were his legs from the knees down.
โI hope you donโt mind if I have this destroyed,โ he said, glancing down at her dress.
She smiled at him and shook her head. It wasnโt what sheโd been expecting him to say, and she knew that heโd done it to set her at ease.
โIโll send someone to fetch you another,โ he said.
โThank you.โ She shifted slightly in the water to make room for him, but he surprised her by walking to her end of the tub.
โLean forward,โ he murmured.
She did, and sighed with pleasure as he began to wash her back. โIโve dreamed of doing this for years.โ
โYears?โ she asked, amused.
โMmm-hmm. I hadย manyย dreams about you after the masquerade.โ
Sophie was glad she was leaning forward, her forehead resting on her bent knees, because she blushed.
โDunk your head so I can wash your hair,โ he ordered. She slid under the water, then quickly came back up.
Benedict rubbed the bar of soap in his hands and then began to work the lather through her hair. โIt was longer before,โ he commented.
โI had to cut it,โ she said. โI sold it to a wigmaker.โ
She wasnโt sure, but she thought she might have heard him growl. โIt used to be much shorter,โ she added.
โReady to rinse.โ
She dunked back in the tub, swishing her head this way and that under the water before coming back up for air.
Benedict cupped his hands and filled them with water. โYouโve still got some in the back,โ he said, letting the water pour over her hair.
Sophie let him repeat that process a few times, then finally asked, โArenโt you coming in?โ It was dreadfully brazen of her, and she knew she must be blushing like a raspberry, but she simply had to know.
He shook his head. โIโd planned to, but this is too much fun.โ โWashing me?โ she asked doubtfully.
One corner of his mouth quirked into the faintest of half smiles. โIโm rather looking forward to drying you off as well.โ He reached down and picked up a large white towel. โUp you go.โ
Sophie chewed on her lower lip in indecision. She had, of course, already been as close to him as two people could be, but she wasnโt so sophisticated that she could rise naked from the tub without a large degree of embarrassment.
Benedict smiled faintly as he stood and unfolded the towel. Holding it wide, he averted his gaze and said, โIโll have you all wrapped up before I can see a thing.โ
Sophie took a deep breath and stood, somehow feeling that that one action might mark the beginning of the rest of her life.
Benedict gently wrapped the towel around her, his hands bringing the corners to her face when he was done. He dabbed at her cheeks, where light droplets of water were still clinging to her skin, then leaned down and kissed her nose. โIโm glad youโre here,โ he murmured.
โIโm glad, too.โ
He touched her chin. His eyes never left hers, and she almost felt as if heโd touched those as well. And then, with the softest, most tender caress imaginable, he kissed her. Sophie didnโt just feel loved; she felt revered.
โI should wait until Monday,โ he said, โbut I donโt want to.โ โI donโt want you to wait,โ she whispered.
He kissed her again, this time with a bit more urgency. โYouโre so beautiful,โ he murmured. โEverything I ever dreamed of.โ
His lips found her cheek, her chin, her neck, and every kiss, every nibble robbed her of balance and breath. She was sure her legs would give out, sure her strength would fail her under his tender onslaught, and just when she was convinced sheโd crumple to the floor, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed.
โIn my heart,โ he vowed, settling her against the quilts and pillows, โyou are my wife.โ
Sophieโs breath caught.
โAfter our wedding it will be legal,โ he said, stretching out alongside her, โblessed by God and country, but right nowโโ His voice grew hoarse
as he propped himself up on one elbow so that he could gaze into her eyes. โRight now it isย true.โ
Sophie reached up and touched his face. โI love you,โ she whispered. โI have always loved you. I think I loved you before I even knew you.โ
He leaned down to kiss her anew, but she stopped him with a breathy, โNo, wait.โ
He paused, mere inches from her lips.
โAt the masquerade,โ she said, her voice uncharacteristically shaky, โeven before I saw you, Iย feltย you. Anticipation. Magic. There was something in the air. And when I turned, and you were there, it was as if youโd been waiting for me, and I knew that you were the reason Iโd stolen into the ball.โ
Something wet hit her cheek. A single tear, fallen from his eye.
โYou are the reason I exist,โ she said softly, โthe very reason I was born.โ
He opened his mouth, and for a moment she was certain he would say something, but the only sound that emerged was a rough, halting noise, and she realized that he was overcome, that he could not speak.
She was undone.
Benedict kissed her again, trying to show in deeds what he could not say in words. He hadnโt thought he could love her any more than he did just five seconds earlier, but when sheโd said . . . when sheโd told him . . .
His heart had grown, and heโd thought it might burst.
He loved her. Suddenly the world was a very simple place. He loved her, and that was all that mattered.
His robe and her towel melted away, and when they were skin to skin he worshipped her with his hands and lips. He wanted her to realize the extent of his need for her, and he wanted her to know the same desire.
โOh, Sophie,โ he groaned, her name the only word he could manage to say. โSophie, Sophie, Sophie.โ
She smiled up at him, and he was struck by the most remarkable desire to laugh. He was happy, he realized. So damned happy.
And it felt good.
He positioned himself over her, ready to enter her, ready to make her his. This was different from the last time, when theyโd both been swept
away by emotion. This time they had been deliberate. They had chosen more than passion; they had chosen each other.
โYouโre mine,โ he said, his eyes never leaving hers as he slid inside. โYouโre mine.โ
And much later, when they were exhausted and spent, lying in each otherโs arms, he brought his lips to her ear and whispered, โAnd Iโm yours.โ
Several hours later, Sophie yawned and blinked herself awake, wondering why she felt so lovely and warm, andโ
โBenedict!โ she gasped. โWhat time is it?โ
He didnโt respond, so she clutched at his shoulder and shook hard. โBenedict! Benedict!โ
He grunted as he rolled over. โIโm sleeping.โ โWhat time is it?โ
He buried his face in the pillow. โHavenโt the foggiest.โ โIโm supposed to be at your motherโs by seven.โ โEleven,โ he mumbled.
โSeven!โ
He opened one eye. It looked like it took a great deal of effort. โYou knew you werenโt going to make it back by seven when you decided to take a bath.โ
โI know, but I didnโt think Iโd be much past nine.โ
Benedict blinked a few times as he looked around the room. โI donโt think youโre going to make itโโ
But sheโd already caught sight of the mantel clock and was presently choking frantically.
โAre you all right?โ he inquired. โItโs three in the morning!โ
He smiled. โYou might as well spend the night, then.โ โBenedict!โ
โYou wouldnโt want to put out any of the servants, would you? Theyโre all quite asleep, Iโm sure.โ
โBut Iโโ
โHave mercy, woman,โ he finally declared. โIโm marrying you next week.โ
That got her attention. โNext week?โ she squeaked.
He tried to assume a serious mien. โItโs best to take care of these things quickly.โ
โWhy?โ
โWhy?โ he echoed. โYes, why?โ
โEr, ah, stemming gossip and all that.โ
Her lips parted and her eyes grew round. โDo you think Lady Whistledown will write about me?โ
โGod, I hope not,โ he muttered. Her face fell.
โWell, I suppose sheย might. Why on earth would you want her to?โ โIโve been reading her column for years. I always dreamed of seeing my
name there.โ
He shook his head. โYou have very strange dreams.โ โBenedict!โ
โVery well, yes, I imagine Lady Whistledown will report our marriage, if not before the ceremony, then certainly very quickly after the fact. Sheโs diabolical that way.โ
โI wish I knew who she was.โ โYou and half of London.โ
โMe andย allย of London, I should think.โ She sighed, then said, not very convincingly, โI really should go. Your mother is surely worried about me.โ
He shrugged. โShe knows where you are.โ โBut sheโll think less of me.โ
โI doubt it. Sheโll give you a bit of latitude, Iโm sure, considering weโre to be married in three days.โ
โThree days?โ she yelped. โI thought you said next week.โ โThree daysย isย next week.โ
Sophie frowned. โOh. Youโre right. Monday, then?โ He nodded, looking very satisfied.
โImagine that,โ she said. โIโll be inย Whistledown.โ
He propped himself up on one elbow, eyeing her suspiciously. โAre you looking forward to marrying me,โ he asked in an amused voice, โor is it merely theย Whistledownย mention that has you so excited?โ
She gave him a playful swat on the shoulder.
โActually,โ he said thoughtfully, โyouโve already been inย Whistledown.โ โI have? When?โ
โAfter the masquerade. Lady Whistledown remarked that Iโd been rather taken with a mystery woman in silver. Try as she might, she couldnโt deduce your identity.โ He grinned. โIt very well may be the only secret in London sheย hasnโtย uncovered.โ
Sophieโs face went instantly serious and she scooted a foot or so away from him on the bed. โOh, Benedict. I have to . . . I want to . . . That is to say . . .โ She stopped, looking away for a few seconds before turning back. โIโm sorry.โ
He considered yanking her back into his arms, but she looked so damned earnest he had no choice but to take her seriously. โWhat for?โ
โFor not telling you who I was. It was wrong of me.โ She bit her lip. โWell, notย wrongย precisely.โ
He drew back slightly. โIf it wasnโt wrong, then what was it?โ
โI donโt know. I canโt explain exactly why I did what I did, but it just . .
.โ She chewed on her lips some more. He started to think that she might do herself permanent harm.
She sighed. โI didnโt tell you right away because it didnโt seem to make any sense to do so. I was so sure weโd part ways just as soon as we left the Cavenders. But then you grew ill, and I had to care for you, and you didnโt recognize me, and . . .โ
He lifted a finger to her lips. โIt doesnโt matter.โ
Her brows rose. โIt seemed to matter a great deal the other night.โ
He didnโt know why, but he just didnโt want to get into a serious discussion at that moment. โA lot has changed since then.โ
โDonโt you want to know why I didnโt tell you who I was?โ He touched her cheeks. โI know who you are.โ
She chewed on her lip.
โAnd do you want to hear the funniest part?โ he continued. โDo you know one of the reasons I was so hesitant to give my heart completely to you? Iโd been saving a piece of it for the lady from the masquerade, always hoping that one day Iโd find her.โ
โOh, Benedict,โ she sighed, thrilled by his words, and at the same time miserable that she had hurt him so.
โDeciding to marry you meant I had to abandon my dream of marrying
her,โ he said quietly. โIronic, isnโt it?โ
โIโm sorry I hurt you by not revealing my identity,โ she said, not quite looking at his face, โbut Iโm not sure that Iโm sorry I did it. Does that make any sense?โ
He didnโt say anything.
โI think I would do the same thing again.โ
He still didnโt say anything. Sophie started to feel very uneasy inside. โIt just seemed like the right thing to do at the time,โ she persisted.
โTelling you that Iโd been at the masquerade would have served no purpose.โ
โI would have known the truth,โ he said softly.
โYes, and what would you have done with that truth?โ She sat up, pulling the covers until they were tucked under her arms. โYou would have wanted your mystery woman to be your mistress, just as you wanted the housemaid to be your mistress.โ
He said nothing, just stared at her face.
โI guess what Iโm saying,โ Sophie said quickly, โis that if Iโd known at the beginning what I know now, I would have said something. But I didnโt know, and I thought Iโd just be positioning myself for heartbreak, andโโ She choked on her final words, frantically searching his face for some kind of clue to his feelings. โPleaseย say something.โ
โI love you,โ he said. It was all she needed.