Sophie
We need to talk.
I stare at the text on my phone, and my rage grows to a black haze that blurs the edges of my vision. My gut churns. That motherfucker still has my number. Iโm sorry I didnโt change it long ago. But it wouldnโt have mattered; Martin always finds a way to get what he wants.
My stomach lurches, and I press a hand to it.
I should tell Gabriel that Martin is skulking around the lobby. But I donโt want to. Speaking his name is like calling forth the devil. I donโt want to remind Gabriel of what I did. Of course he knows, but seeing Martin, visually linking him with me, will make it more real. More pungent. Because thatโs what Martin is: a foul odor hanging around, stinking up the place. The bastard wants to talk. It takes little imagination to discern about what.
A breeze blows in from the harbor. I huddle down in the lounge chair on the balcony, drawing my knees to my chest. Itโs not cold out here, but Iโm freezing inside, while my skin burns hot.
โSophie.โ Gabrielโs face hovers in front of me, a frown marring his brow.
Startled, I blink and look around, taking in the dark sea and the lights along the shore. โYes?โ
He sits on the foot of the lounger. โI called your name three times.โ โSorry. Iโฆโ I donโt know what to say, so I shrug.
He assesses my face, worrying. โWhatโs going on in that head, chatty girl?โ
โI donโt feel well.โ Itโs true. I want to climb under the covers and cry. โToo much driving on mountain roads, I guess.โ
The cool press of his fingers to my brow almost has me weeping, and I have to blink several times to keep from losing it.
His frown deepens. โYou feel warm.โ
โAnd you feel nice and cool.โ I force a smile. โKiss me and make it all better.โ
He leans in and kisses my forehead. But heโs on a mission. โIโm serious. I want you to stay in tonight. Iโll text Dr. Stern and have her come look you over.โ
โNo, donโt,โ I say to Gabriel. โIโm fine. Iโll be better off working.โ
โBollocks to that.โ Without an apparent effort, he scoops me up and carries me inside. Despite myself, a little thrill runs through me. Iโve never been carried around, or handled as if I were precious. And though Iโm not really sick, his care makes me want to cling to him and cry my troubles away.
He sets me on the couch. โStay.โ
โYes, sir.โ I salute him, but heโs already going into the bedroom.
He returns with a blanket, which he promptly tucks around my body. โThere.โ
โYouโre acting like a mother hen.โ Which I love.
โCluck, cluck,โ he deadpans as he picks up the house phone with one hand and grabs the TV remote with the other. Iโm impressed by his multitasking; he scrolls through the movie selections and selects a rom- com, while simultaneously ordering a soup and bread basket through room service.
โAnd a pot of tea,โ he adds, finishing up the call.
My poor, battered heart turns to mush there and then. Heโs getting me tea. My voice is too thick when I speak. โItalians arenโt known for their tea.โ
โItโll likely be rubbish,โ he agrees. โBut it will have to do.โ
And though Iโm all tucked up like a package, he moves me once more, lifting me onto his lap and snuggling us both under the blanket. Itโs so much better being held. I burrow against his chest, and his arms wrap around me.
โI donโt want to leave you,โ he murmurs in my hair. โIโm fine. Really. I can go with youโโ
โNo.โ His voice is gentle but firm. โEven if you arenโt ill, you need rest.
Now, shut up and do as directed for once.โ โBossy.โ
โYouโre only sorry itโs my turn to do the bossing.โ
Unable to help myself, I stroke his chest. Touching him is a luxury I donโt think Iโll ever get used to. โWhat was you said about forced relaxation being an oxymoron?โ
โI donโt recall that at all. Youโve grown delusional in your exhaustion.โ I snort, and he kisses me on the forehead, chuckling.
The movie starts playing, and we fall silent.
โHow did you know I loveย When Harry Met Sally?โ I ask softly.
He shifts a little beneath me, propping one foot on the table. โYou told me.โ
โWhat? When?โ
โThe third night on the coach. You were taking a piss at my love of all things Star Trek, and I asked what your favorite movies were. And I still take umbrage that you thinkย Spaceballsย is on par withย Star Wars.โ
I grin at the disgust in his voice, but a small jolt runs through me as I think back on that night. โYou remember all of that?โ
His hand sifts through my hair, spreading lovely little shivers down my spine. โI remember everything you say, Darling. You talk, I listen.โ
I almost tell him I love him then. The words bubble up and dance on my tongue. But my mouth refuses to open. Fear holds me back, as if by saying it Iโll somehow start the beginning of the end. It makes no sense, but I canโt shake the feeling.
I kiss the underside of his jaw, where the scent of his cologne blends with the warmth of his skin, and hug him close.
He holds me until room service arrives. Given the speed at which they show up, Iโm guessing we get preferential treatment. A perk, I suppose, of Kill John renting the entire floor.
Gabriel pulls on his suit jacket and tugs his cuffs into place as I pretend to find interest in my meal. But my appetite is gone.
โDonโt poke at your soup,โ he says. โEat it.โ โIโm waiting for it to cool down.โ
Apparently Iโm terrible at lying because he hovers at the end of the couch, peering at me as if he can pull the thoughts from my head by sheer will.
โI should stay,โ he says finally.
When he pulls his phone from his pocket as if to start texting, I touch his hand. โNo, go. I swear Iโm all right. Iโm just having an off night. It happens.โ
I need him to go so I can hunt down that fuckwit Martin and tell him to eat shit and dieโor something to that effect. I canโt do that with Gabriel
around. Iโm fairly certain his version of telling Martin to eat shit would probably lean more toward actually kicking the shit out of him.
That would be kind of satisfying to watch, but the idea of Gabriel getting into trouble with the law or having his reputation tarnished horrifies me.
He must see my urgency, because he sighs and leans down to kiss me. This kiss isnโt quick, itโs soft and languid, as if heโs luxuriating in my taste. And I melt under his touch, kissing him back, my hands threading into his thick hair.
High color stains his cheeks when we finally break apart, both of us breathing faster. His forehead rests against mine as he cups my nape. โSophie,โ he says. โMy darling girl.โ
Tears threaten. Heโs too tender. Too wonderful. I close my eyes, run my thumbs in circles along his temples. โIโll be here when you get back.โ
Making a sound of agreement, he kisses me once. Then once more.
Gentle, kisses. Kisses that feel like love.
โSophie, Iโฆโ He takes a breath, shaking his head. When he steps back, I feel the loss of him like a cold hand to my skin.
He tugs his cuffs in place once more and searches my face. I donโt know what he sees, but his voice is soft when he finally speaks. โBe well.โ
โI will.โ But my promise is empty; because this sickness wonโt go until I make a stand against Martin.
Gabriel
Iย HATE MEET AND GREETSโthe inane parties both before and after each concert, where press, fans, fan club runners, other people of fame, and record industry heavy hitters all congregate into one, boring, whoโs- looking-at-who cluster. Theyโre the bane of my professional existence.
Over the years, Iโve perfected a remote look that keeps people at armโs length during these torturous hours. Only the very brave or the very stupid approach me. The very brave have my respect and are usually intelligent enough to converse with briefly. The very stupid are easily dealt with.
It is inevitable, however, that I must talk with people throughout the night. And this night is extremely long. Iโve forced myself not to text Sophie more than once, lest I โmother henโ her. But I want to.
I donโt like the wan, yet agitated expression she had earlier, or the way she trembled in my arms, even though she clearly wanted to hide her upset. Something is wrong. Something more than the carsickness she claims.
Whatever the problem is, I want to make it better. It is imperative that I do. My entire life has been dedicated to looking after people I care for, and she sits at the top of the list now.
I should have stayed with her. Iโm feelingโฆpossessiveโyet another emotion I donโt any familiarity with.
Men canโt go around introducing their woman as, โMine; Touch her and lose a finger.โ Can they? I doubt Sophie would appreciate being labeled as such. Or perhaps she would if I told her to label me in the same manner?
โScottie, dude, youโre drifting.โ
โPardon?โ I find Killian standing next to me.
โCompletely spaced out.โ His grin is annoying. โI guess the vacation did the trick.โ
โIโm cured of the compulsion to check my phone every two minutes,โ I tell him grimly.
โUh-huh, thatโs exactly what I was referring to.โ
I ignore his smug look. โIt wasโฆโย The best time of my life. โโฆI enjoyed it very much.โ
Killian makes a noise of amusement. โGood to hear.โ
He doesnโt say anything further, but he doesnโt move away either.
Sophie believes I should try harder with them. I clear my throat. โIโm thinking of taking Sophie to the chalet for the New Year. Would you and Liberty like to join us?โ
I grimace. That probably sounded as stilted coming out of my mouth as it did in my head. By the way Killianโs lip twitches, I am correct. Bugger.
But he answers before I can say another word. โLiberty and I would love that.โ
โShouldnโt you ask her before committing?โ I know that much about women.
โNo need. We have mind-melded.โ He leans in. โBesides, sheโs behind you.โ
Startled, I step back and find Liberty grinning so wide, her cheeks bunch. โHey, Scottie.โ She gives me a punch on the arm. โCan we go skiing, and eat fondue, and do other James Bond-type things?โ
โSuch as jumping off cliffs and deploying parachutes with the Union Jack on them?โ I drawl.
โYes. But I need stars and stripes on mine. Itโs my patriotic duty.โ โIโll put it on my to-do list.โ
โHee!โ She hugs me before I can get away. โThis will be the best New Years ever!โ
Killian laughs, but then looks around. โAnyone seen Jax?โ
I disentangle myself from Liberty and nudge her in Killianโs direction. โNot since the concert ended. He was a little off tonight.โ
Killian scans the room. โHe looked like shit. And now heโs gone.โ
When Jax disappears, we all worry. It is an automatic reaction now, no matter how trustworthy he seems. Instantly, Iโm alert, my lower back clenching.
โWhen did you last see him?โ โWalking off stage.โ
โThat wasโฆโ I glance at my watch. โForty-two minutes ago.โ
Killian waves over Whip and Rye. โYou guys seen Jax?โ Our worry is contagious. Rye frowns. โNo, man.โ
โI saw him go into the bathroom when we got off,โ Whip says.
Rye jogs away to search the bathroom, while Killian heads for Kip, our head of security.
I move that way as well, and reach them just as Kip tells Killian he saw Jax go upstairs, hanging on to a groupie.
โAnd some guy,โ Kip adds.
โA guy?โ Killian repeats, confused.
โYeah, kind of sleazy looking. He had Jax by the other arm. But Jax waved me off.โ Kip shrugs. โSo what could I do?โ
Do your bloody job and tell me what was happening, I think with a silent snarl.
Killianโs gaze darts to mine. โJax is not into dudes.โ
โI know that,โ I snap, then take a breath. โLook, we donโt know whatโs going on; weโre simply being cautious. And I do not want to call attention to us, so letโs calm down.โ
Killianโs jaw tenses, but he nods.
โKeep on with your duties,โ I tell Kip. โCome with me, Killian.โ
Rye finds us as we walk across the room, his expression is grim. โNot in the bathroom.โ
โApparently he went upstairs,โ I say. โStay here and be you.โ He knows exactly what I mean, but he doesnโt appear happy.
โSome days it sucks being the class clown. Text me when you find him, or Iโm gonna be pissed.โ He salutes us and runs off, jumping on the couch between two women. โLadies, who wants to do shots?โ
Liberty is with us, and I touch her elbow to slow her down. โGo tell Whip to stay down here. If we all go, people will notice.โ
Killian and I fall silent as we wait for the elevator. โWe have no real reason to worry,โ I tell him.
โHeโs probably fucking some girl.โ โRight.โ
A row of numbered lights track the elevatorโs descent to our fifth floor level. Killian and I both watch it.
โWhy do I feel like itโs something more?โ Killian whispers, staring at the lights.
My heart gives a pained thump. โI donโt know.โ But I feel the same.