Gabriel
IT ISNโTย difficult to track down Liberty Bell James. I simply go where Killian is, knowing sheโll in the vicinity. At the moment, itโs Charles Ehrmann Stadium in Nice, France–this weekโs venue–where Kill John is conducting a sound check.
Liberty is in the center of the hall, comfortably lounging in one of the seats at the end of a row, and apparently playing a game of Candy Crush on her phone.
I lean against the seat in front of her. โA cable network contacted me this morning. They want to use โReflecting Poolโ for the start of one of their shows this season.โ
A soft flush runs over her cheeks. The woman isnโt fully comfortable with success, but sheโs getting there. โThat seems reallyโฆcommercial.โ
No shite.ย โActually, a car company wants to use โLemon Dropโ, too. I think we ought to say yes to both.โ
โUgh. And have the threat of hearing myself every time I turn on the TV?โ Her nose wrinkles.
I cross my arms over my chest, bracing my feet wide. Iโll be here for a while. โWeโll work in a clause to cover how long the commercial can run to avoid overexposure.โ
โMissing the point, Scottie.โ
โI believe youโre the one missing the point, Mrs. James.โ โFor the last time, call me Libby or Liberty, Scottie.โ
โBut you are Mrs. James now. Iโm showing you the proper respect.โ
She gives me a light punch on the arm. โYour formality is killing me, Mr. Scott.โ
โStick to the matter at hand, please. We need exposure at this point in your career. Car commercials have launched many an artist simply because people hear the song and want to buy it. Need I remind you of Sia?โ
โLike I can stop you,โ she mutters.
โThe programย Six Feet Underย played โBreathe Meโ for one bloody show, and it launched her in the US.โ
Libertyโs chin lifts on a stubborn sniff, but I see the capitulation in her eyes.
โI understand you want to keep things low key,โ I say. โThis is a good way to do it. No talk show appearances, media junkets, and the like. You simply let another massive media source do the work for you.โ
I donโt add that Iโll work toward setting up a mini-tour when the public starts clamoring for her. Baby steps are needed with Liberty. But despite her protests, she does love the stage. Killian knows as much, which is why theyโll be performing a few songs together on this tour.
โFine. Tell them yes.โ
โEnthusiasm, Mrs. James. Itโs what makes my day.โ
She laughs. โYeah, I just bet it does.โ Liberty stands and gives me a long look. โAnd your nights? How are they doing now that youโve got yourself a roommate?โ
Sly little shit.ย I want to tell her to mind her business. But now Iโm thinking of Sophie. How are things? I wake with my hands full of luscious, warm woman. I smell her on my clothes throughout the day. I barely have a momentโs privacy once Iโm on my coach or in a hotel room, and I look forward to that. Iโm beginning to hate silence, because it means sheโs not there.
And Iโm surrounded by all things Sophie. Her battered little trainers.
Camera equipment. Makeup, hairbrushes, lotions, and hair products.
My collar suddenly feels too tight.
โTell me, Mrs. James,โ I find myself saying. โIs there a reason you women feel the need to wash your underthings in the sink and hang them over the shower like some sort of profane Christmas decorations?โ
I was treated to this particular form of visual torture earlier, when I went to have my morning shower, only to find lacy bras and delicate little knickers strewn about the place. What was I supposed to do? Take them down? Iโd have to touch them.
If Iโm going to put my hands on Sophieโs knickers, sheโs bloody well going to be in them when I do. My collar squeezes my throat yet again.
Liberty laughs. โItโs not as though you can toss good bras and undies in the laundry. Theyโre hand wash only.โ
โBut must you leave them hanging out in the open?โ Hell, now I know exactly what size Sophieโs bras are. Iโm only human. I looked. How could I not? Particularly when she left that pretty white lace one trimmed in scarlet ribbon, so well constructed, it seemed to hold her shape even though she wasnโt in it.
โYouโve pulled your tie all out of whack,โ Liberty says, bringing me back to the present.
I blink down at her for a minute, trying to clear my mind of the fact that Sophie favors satin panties with lace panels that hug her peachy bum to perfection.
Liberty gives me a soft smile. โHere, Iโll fix it. I know how you hate being rumpled.โ
She moves to straighten my tie, but I wave her off. โLeave it.โ
I hate being fussed over more. But I donโt bother fixing my tie either. I want to pull the damn thing off and toss it in the nearest bin before it strangles me. Liberty looks at me as if Iโm off my nut.
โWell,โ she says, clearly struggling not to tease. โYou could always ask Sophie to send her things out to be dry cleaned.โ
And miss the post-wash show?ย โThat would be rude,โ I mutter.
Libertyโs expression is too neutral to be serious. โItโs probably a good idea not to tick off your new roommate.โ
I shrug, tug at my tie again, then leave offโbecause fuck all, I will not fidget. โItโs fine. I simply hadnโt thought there would be quite so manyโฆ accessories. Iโve never roomed with a woman before.โ
Itโs too silent. I glance at Liberty to find her grinning. Her grin grows when I glare.
โItโs cute to see you with a girlfriend,โ she says.
โWhat are we, sixteen?โ I sneer. โSheโs not my girlfriend.โ โFine, your lover.โ
โChrist. Weโre friends. That is all.โ โRight.โ She rolls her eyes.
โI told the lot of you to mind your business.โ
Liberty laughs. โOh, come on, Scottie. You brought a woman into your Fortress of Solitude. Did you really think we wouldnโt talk?โ
โAnd what is your role here?โ I ask. โDid you draw the short straw to come fact check?โ
A grin spreads across her face. โI volunteered. Everyone else is too chicken to ask.โ
โLovely. You can go back and tell the rest of the clucking hens that Sophie and I are just friends.โ
โHey,โ Jax says, sauntering up. โThat rhymes.โ
He gives Liberty a kiss on the cheek. โKillianโs looking for you. You giving Scottie a hard time for us?โ
โHeโs in a mood now.โ
โIโm not in a mood.โ Iโm lying, and we all know it. Tension locks my jaw and rides down my neck.
โHis tie is askew,โ Jax says, frowning. โThatโs practically undressed.โ Liberty nods, staring at my wrenched tie. โHe wonโt let me fix it.โ
I give them both the finger, which they find hilarious, and walk away.
The urge to fix my tie is strong now, but I leave it on principle.
I donโt know where Iโm headed. I should find Jules and ask her for a progress update. Iโd call her, but I forgot my phone. It unnerves me that I actually left the coach without my phoneโdidnโt even think about it. My head was filled withโฆother things.
As if called by my thoughts, Sophie appears at the top of the aisle, her smile wide and fresh, camera case slung over her shoulder, a takeout cup in her hand. โHey! Iโve been looking for you.โ
I donโt stop until Iโm close enough for my body to block her from the othersโ sight. I donโt want them to see her yet. โHave you?โ I ask, peering down at her.
Sheโs wearing bright red Chucks, worn jeans cuffed wide to her shins, and a white camisole that strains over her breasts. We couldnโt be more incongruously attired if we tried. I drink her in, suddenly so thirsty my mouth dries up.
โHere,โ she says, lifting her cup toward me. โI brought you some tea.
One sugar, light on the milk.โ
I blink in shock. She knows how I take my tea. Sheย broughtย me tea.
Even if it is in a paper cup, which will make it taste like shit.
As if reading my mind, she snorts, and her mouth quirks. โItโs ceramic, designed to look like a takeout cup.โ
โWhy on Earth would someone design a cup to look like something itโs notโโ
โJust take the tea, sunshine.โ She shoves the cup at me, and I have no choice but to obey. While I inspect it, she sighs. โBefore you start complaining again, the lid is rubber. You could drink through that little hole, but I know you wonโt. Take it off and drink.โ
Afraid to disappoint her, I do as directed. The tea is hot, and a bit weak, but it soothes the sudden lump in my throat. I take two more sips before clutching the cup in my hand and staring down at the murky tea. The steam rising from it makes my vision blur. โThank you.โ
โSure thing. Oh, hey, your tie is all pulled out.โ
She sets down her camera bag and reaches for my tie. I lean toward her so she doesnโt have to stand on her toes, and hold still. Or I try to. I find myself listing closer until her lemon-sweet scent fills my lungs and the warmth of her body buffets my skin.
โHow did you do this?โ she mutters as she tugs at the tie and tucks the length farther down beneath my vest. โYouโre never mussed.โ
โI donโt remember,โ I say, fighting the urge to rest my forehead on hers. โTough day?โ
I think about where we are, and everything clenches cold. โIโve had better.โ
โWell, drink your tea.โ She smoothes a hand over my chest and across my shoulders. โLet it work its magic on your British soul.โ
Stroke me more. Forever.
But she stops and gives me another happy look. โOh, I found your phone on the dresser.โ
She pulls it out of her pocket and gives it to me.
I stand there, phone in one hand, tea in the other, unable to form words. Sophie pats my shoulder. โCanโt believe you left that behind.โ
I canโt believe anything about myself anymore. I donโt know whether to run or grab hold of her and never let go.
โWalk with me?โ I ask, pocketing my phone. โWhere?โ
Anywhere.ย โOutside. I need air.โ
Neither of us mentions that weโre in an outdoor venue. She simply takes my free hand. โLead on, sunshine.โ
Sophie
OUTSIDE THE STADIUMย isnโt exactly conducive to a nice walk, as itโs in a fairly industrial area. Of course Gabriel, being Gabriel, texts his driver to pick us up and take take us to a nearby harbor.
Itโs gorgeous here: the Riviera sparkling in the sun, palm trees rustling overhead. Gabriel fits right in with his tailored light grey suit, sunglasses covering his eyes, his coal-dark hair swept back from his face. Images of Cary Grant dance in my head.
Iโm no Grace Kelly in my jeans and Chucks. But he never makes me feel frumpy or underdressed. Even now, he walks at my side, his hand lightly touching my lower back as he guides me around an older couple strolling along hand in hand.
As soon as we pass them, Gabriel shoves his hands deep into his pockets and stares out over the sea. Heโs so pretty against this backdrop it almost hurts to look at him.
But he also appears distracted and unsettled. โYou okay, sunshine?โ
He doesnโt say anything for a moment. โWe didnโt have very much money growing up. My father was a mechanic. Originally from Wales, but he settled in Birmingham.โ
I have no idea why heโs talking about his dad, but Iโm not about to stop him. I know without a doubt that The Book of Gabriel doesnโt open very often, if ever.
โWas? Did he retire?โ
He snorts. โRetire would imply that he worked steadily. He never held down a job for very long. He preferred to live on the dole.โ Gabrielโs jaw clenches. โI donโt know if heโs alive, actually, since he walked out of my life when I was sixteen.โ
โOh.โ I donโt say anything else, sensing that he needs to talk more than I need to question him.
He keeps walking, his pace slow and steady, his eyes to the sea. โMy mother was French. Her parents emigrated to Birmingham after her father took a managing position at the Jaguar plant. For a time, she worked as an accountant. She met my when she did the books for one of the shops where he worked.โ
โDo you get your love of numbers from her?โ I ask softly, because heโs drifted off, his expression tight.
โI suppose I do.โ He glances at me. I canโt see his eyes behind the shades. โMy mum died when I was fifteen.โ
โOh, Gabriel.โ I want to take his hand, but theyโre still tucked in his pockets. I wrap my fingers around his thick forearm instead, leaning slightly into him. โIโm sorry.โ
He shrugs. โLung cancer.โ A deep breath rattles him. โRather, she was diagnosed with stage four, non-small cell lung cancer. Howeverโฆshe, ah, decided to take her own way out.โ
I stop short, and he does too, since Iโm still holding on to him. A lump rises in my throat. โYou mean sheโโ
โTook her own life,โ he answers shortly. โYes.โ โOh, hell.โ
โI donโtโฆblame her,โ he grits out. โI simplyโฆ Ah, bollocks, I resented the hell out of her for taking what short time we had left away from me. Which is selfish, I know, but there it is.โ He spreads his hands as if to encompass his pain.
A thought occurs to me, and my skin prickles in horror. โAnd then Jaxโฆโ
โYes.โ The word is a bullet, his face flushed and full of rage before going blank.
I move to hug him, but he turns and starts walking again, still controlled but his pace faster now.
โAs I said, we did not have a lot of money. But Mum always wanted to go back to France. Her parents had died, and she felt a bit lost, I think, missing her country. This one time, Dad piled us into the car and we drove here, to Nice for holiday.โ He stops and stares at the sea. โI was ten. It was the last time we went anywhere as a family.โ
He lets me take his hand, and his cold fingers twine with mine. I hold him more securely. โIโm sorry, Gabriel.โ
Nodding, he keeps his gaze averted. โI remember being happy here. But it brings back other memories Iโd rather forget.โ
โOf course.โ
We donโt say anything for a while, simply walk.
โI feel shitty now,โ I confess. When he glances at me with confusion, I bluster on. โI went on and on, complaining about my mom showing up, and what a pain my parents areโโ
โAnd I loved hearing about it,โ he cuts in. โDonโt you dare think otherwise. And donโt you dare pity me. I wonโt stand for it.โ
โItโs not pity,โ I say softly, squeezing his hand. โI justโฆโย Ache for you.
โHell, I donโt know. I feel like a shit just because, okay?โ
He chuffs out a half-laugh. โWell, okay. And I do have a family.โ โThe guys and Brenna?โ
โYes.โ His hand slips from mine, and he clears his throat. โAfter Mum, well, Dad was around even less. But Iโd always done well in school. I received scholarship for an independent school. Youโd know it as a prep or boarding school, I suppose.โ
โI know Harry Potter,โ I offer.
He almost smiles. โI think weโd all have preferred Hogwarts.โ โWas it bad?โ
โIt wasnโt good,โ he says with a touch of asperity. โI donโt know how much you know about Britain, but whether we admit it or not, classism is very much alive. All I had to do was open my mouth to speak and the other students knew I was working class.โ
โYou?โ I have to laugh. โYou sound like Prince William to me.โ
His ghost of a smile is bitter. โMimicry. You learn to adapt to survive. And there are days I hate the sound of it coming out of my mouth. Because I ought to have stayed true to myself. At the time, however, I just wanted to fit in. Didnโt work, though.โ
โDid they give you shit?โ
โScholarship Scott with his dad on the dole? Of course. And I was a bit of a runt until I hit twenty. Stick thin and about six inches shorter.โ
I have to grin at that, imagining Gabriel in his puppy youth, all awkward angles and blooming male beauty.
โI was having the crap beat out of me when I met Jax.โ He says it almost fondly. โJax jumped right in the middle of it, scrappy as a dog. Next thing, Killian, Rye, and Whip were there, pummeling the shite out of anyone left standing.โ
He looks up at me and laughs, the first truly amused sound Iโve heard from him since our walk began. โI was brassed off. Who were these tossers? They didnโt know me. Why help?โ
My throat constricts. โYouโd never had anyone help you just because it was the right thing?โ
Eyes the color of the sea meet mine. โNo. At any rate, I told them to piss off.โ
โBut they didnโt.โ
โOf course not. Firstly, theyโd heard I could secure dopeโโ My steps halt. โYou? Smoking up? No.โ
โHow very scandalized you sound, Darling,โ he says, fighting a small smile. โI was a teenager stuck in boarding school with a bunch of elitist wankers. Passing through some of those long hours in a haze was part of survival.โ
โIโm now picturing you slouched on a couch, doing bong hits.โ I grin at the thought. โDid you get Scooby-snack cravings?โ
He looks at me blandly. โYes, but only after riding around in the Mystery Machine, searching for villains. Hard work, that.โ
Snickering, I start walking again. โSo after you became the guysโ supplier?โ
โHilarious,โ he mutters. โAnd it wasnโt about drugs. Not really. They were outcasts in a way too. They came from money, but they were all either half-American or had lived there for a majority of their lives.โ
โI can see that. They all basically sound American. Especially Killian and Rye. I mean, sometimes I hear a faint English accent when Jax speaks,โ I say, thinking back on our conversations. โAnd Whip has a slight Irish lilt.โ โJax and Whipโor John and William, as they were known back thenโ spent more of their time in the UK than Killian and Rye, so that isnโt surprising. At any rate, they decided I was worth adopting, and they
wouldnโt go away. I was doomed.โ โPoor baby.โ
Gabriel stops and turns toward the breeze coming in from the water. โItโsโฆhard letting people in. My dad was a drunk, almost never home. Mum was gone. And here were these four rich boys trying to take me in like I was Oliver fucking Twist.โ
โAnd yet here we are,โ I say softly.
He nods, almost absently. โSome things are hard to resist, no matter how badly you try to maintain your distance.โ He begins walking again, back toward the waiting town car. โI spent summers at Jaxโs house, went on holiday with Killian or Rye or Whipโs family. And I saw how life could be.โ We near the car, and he glances my way. โAnd when they began their band, their talent was brilliant, even then. But their organization was shit. So I stepped in, promised their parents I would do my mates right. Always.โ
I stop short. โGabriel.โ
He stops as well, his brow quirking. Framed against the French Rivera, the massive yachts and sleek sailboats resting in crystalline waters, his pale suit cut to perfection and highlighting his dusky skin, he looks every inch the international playboy. I canโt even picture him poor and struggling. Until I meet his eyes.
Such beautiful eyes. But the fine lines around them, and the weariness that always seems to linger in those stark depths, tell me a new story now. All he knows is to fight and protect, both himself and those loyal to him.
โIt wasnโt your fault.โ
He blinks, a slow sweep of long lashes, and his expression goes blank. โI mean it.โ I take a step closer. โNone of it. Not your mom. Not Jax.โ
Itโs as if Iโve slapped him. His head jerks back, and his lips flatten. For a second, I think he might shout at me. But then he gives me a one of those fake-ass polite looks he saves for sponsors and record executives.
โThis conversation has run away from me. I hadnโt meant to go on a poor-me walk down memory lane.โ
โStop.โ I touch his cheek and find him so tense, I imagine he might shatter. โWe donโt have to talk about this any more. But Iโm not backing down from what I said. We canโt control the actions of others. It will never happen. We can only control our own. Kill John would not be what they are
without you. And those guys wouldnโt love you like they do if you werenโt worthy.โ
His shoulders donโt lose their starch. If anything, he seems to harden all over, his armor forming right in front of my eyes. But then the corner of his mouth lifts.
โIs this how itโs going to be?โ he asks in a slightly husky voice. โYou championing me, whether I want it or not?โ
โSomeone has to do it, sunshine.โ I give his cheek a gentle pat then get my ass in the car before he can say another word.