Morning came, eventually, a yellow promise pawing at the sky and her window. Bel hid in her room. Her fortress, badly defended, surrounded on all sides by the possibility of Rachel Price. She could be anywhere, aย ๏ฌgure in the shape of her mother, creeping around, laying claim to the house, even though Bel had lived in it longer.
Bel waited, ear to the door, listening. She heard the pad of footsteps downstairs, a clatter in the kitchen, but she couldnโt tell whether it was Dad or Rachel. It sounded like one person, no voices.
The front door slammed, and Bel jumped. New footsteps, heavier, and the swish of plastic bags. That must have been Dad, but where had he been? Did that mean heโd left Bel all alone in the house with Rachel? Thank God she hadnโt left her room.
Now there were voices, mu๏ฌed and low. Bel straightened up, stomach rumbling.
It was safe, now Dad was down there too. Well, safer. She opened the door and went downstairs.
Charlie was half inside the refrigerator, unloading a grocery bag.
Rachel was by the counter, and she caught Belย ๏ฌrst, like sheโd been waiting to do just that, eyes trained on the doorway.
โOh, good morning,โย she said, a smile on her face as bright as the sun.ย โI was about to bring you this. I made you a co๏ฌee, Anna.โย She stepped forward, brandishing a mug.ย โSorry. Bel. Canโt get used to that.โ
Bel didnโt move to take it.
โD-do you like co๏ฌee?โย Rachel hesitated too, losing the smile.ย โSorry. I donโt know the things you like. Yet. I want to learn. Everything.โ
Dad looked over, a nudge with his eyes. Things were supposed to feel strange, remember?
Bel shu๏ฌed one foot forward, o๏ฌering Rachel an inch.ย โI like co๏ฌee,โย she said.
The smile reappeared.ย โWith milk, right?โย She handed it over, theirย ๏ฌngers colliding again, a cold afterglow where Rachelโs skin had touched hers. At least the sharp, overgrown nails were gone. Bel looked down at the co๏ฌee.ย โIs it too much milk? Not enough? I want to learn,โย Rachel said again, not stepping back like she should, taking up too much space.
โIt looks perfect.โย Bel took a tiny sip, using it as an excuse to move away, into a seat at the kitchen table.
Rachel beamed down at her.ย โDo you want anything else? Orange juice?
You like juice?โ
โIโmย ๏ฌne,โย Bel said, the words echoing inside the mug.
โGonna do eggs and bacon for breakfast,โย Charlie said, coming back out of the refrigerator, crushing the empty plastic bag in one hand.
So that was where heโd been; out getting groceries. Not just leaving to leave Bel here.
He clattered away with pans and pots, busying himself at the stove. Removing two plates from the drawer, forgetting, and going back for a third, laying them out on the counter. Rachel took the chair one away from Bel, nursing her own co๏ฌee. In the Santa mug; Dadโs favorite.
โBel,โย Charlie said, breaking the eggs into a jug.ย โYou cracked a plate last night, when you loaded the dishwasher.โ
Did she? She didnโt remember, but sheโd had no awareness of her hands at the time, all attention diverted into her ears, listening out for her parents in the other room. One must have slipped.
โSorry. I didnโt realize.โ
โNo problem, kiddo. Just letting you know.โย He smiled at her, laying the bacon out on the pan in regimented lines.
โSo, Anna-bel,โย Rachel said loudly, catching herself just in time, cracking Belโs name into self-conscious halves.ย โYou must be in senior year, not long to go. Are you at Gorham High? Howโs your GPA? Did you apply to college?โ
Her eyes seared into Belโs.
Bel blinked them away, looking down at her co๏ฌee.ย โYes, Iโm at Gorham High. GPA isย ๏ฌne.โย Becauseย ๏ฌne was easier to say thanย distinctly average,ย as Principal Wheeler had put it.ย โIโm starting the liberal arts program at White Mountains Community College in the fall.โย A good choice, so she could stay at home with Dad, an unspoken promise between them, to never leave the other behind. Except now there would be a stranger in her home too.
โGreat,โย Rachel said, smile hidden behind Santaโs on the mug.ย โDo you know what you want to do yet? I didnโt know when I was your age, and I always hated being asked. Sorry.โ
Was there still a question in there?
โI donโt know,โย Bel answered. Clinging to those safe, dependable words.ย โThatโsย ๏ฌne, you have all the time in the world toย ๏ฌgure it out. What
about hobbies? Sportsโyou play any?โ โNot really.โ
Rachel blinked, a strain in her smile.ย โSo what do you like to do for fun?โ
Bel shrugged.ย โJust, kind of, stay home, I guess.โ โFriends over?โ
Why was Rachel asking her so many goddamn questions? She hadnโt asked Charlie even one. Interrogating Bel, pushing her into corners. And when Bel got pushed into a corner, she normally came outย ๏ฌghting. She bit it down this time, really trying, because she wasnโt ready for war; she didnโt know yet, whether she and Rachel belonged on the same side.
โCarter comes over a lot,โย she said.
Rachel nodded, a gratefulย ๏ฌash in her eyes.ย โA-and whoโs Carter?โ
Bel forgot: there was no overlap. Carter knew of Rachel, but not the other way around.
โSheโs my cousin,โย said Bel.ย โJe๏ฌย and Sherryโs daughter. Born a few months after you left.โ
Her eyes widened. Maybe theyโd both picked up on the word Bel had used there.ย Left.
Rachel pressed a hand to her chest, the one with her rings: wedding and
engagement. Sheโd kept them on all this time too.ย โThatโs nice. Iโm so happy for them; they always wanted a baby.โ
โNot a baby anymore,โย said Bel.ย โSheโs almost sixteen.โ
โDo they still live in number nineteen?โย Rachel asked.ย โJe๏ฌย and Sherry.โ โYes,โย Charlie answered this time.
โWhat about Pat, Charlie?โย Rachel said suddenly, narrowing her eyes.ย โIs he stillโฆ?โ
โHeโs alive, yeah,โย Charlie sni๏ฌed, stirring the eggs.ย โWent to see him this morning, actually. He had a couple of strokes, theย ๏ฌrst one last summer. Has vascular dementia now, doesnโt remember a lot. Not doing so great. We have a full-time caregiver with him.โ
โOh, Iโm sorry.โย Rachel put her mug down with a thunk, a splash of co๏ฌee over the rim, Santa crying dark brown tears.ย โThat must be tough. What about my parents? Oh, I should call them.โย She rose up from her chair, almost like she meant to do it right now.
โRachel,โย Charlie said in a small voice. He didnโt turn back to say it.ย โYour dad passed away four years ago. It was cancer. Iโm sorry too.โ
She dropped back into her chair, smile peeling away, retreating muscle by muscle.
โIโm sorry,โย Charlie said again, even though Grandaddy dying wasnโt his fault.
Rachel went toย wash her hands for breakfast.ย She didnโt come back for six minutes, eyes rubbed red when she did. The eggs and bacon and toast were ready and waiting.
โDave Winter called,โย Charlie said, snapping a piece of bacon in half.ย โChief of police,โย he explained, reading the confusion on Rachelโs face.
Maybe she wasnโt unreadable to him.ย โTheyโll be around this afternoon sometime, to go over details for the press conference tomorrow morning. And see how youโre doing, of course. They want to get you booked in with the psychiatrist.โ
Rachel nodded absently.
Another mouthful before she asked:ย โDo you know him well, the police chief?โ
โWeโve had our dealings,โย Charlie replied, a cough to help the bacon go down.ย โHeโs the one who arrested me for your murder, Rachel.โย His eyes were shy, dropping to his plate.
โRight,โย she said, just as shy, spooling her fork through the pile ofย ๏ฌu๏ฌy eggs. There would be more questions on that later, Bel thought, once Rachel worked up the courage. There were land mines everywhere here, open your mouth and they blew up. Dead dads and wrongful arrests, and nieces she never knew about.
Charlieโs phone rang then, a welcome break in the tension, buzzing angrily against the table. He looked at the screen and ended the call, his face giving nothing away.
Belโs went o๏ฌย too, vibrating in her lap. She glanced down at the name on-screenโRamsey Leeโand let it ring out.
โYou should call them,โย Rachel said, eyes tripping over the sharp lines of
the rectangular device in front of Charlie, like this was herย ๏ฌrst time seeing a smartphone, understanding what it did.ย โYour brother and Sherry. Invite them over. Iโd like to see them, meet their daughter. They should know before the world does, at the press conference tomorrow. You should call Je๏ฌ.โ
โOK.โ
Rachel couldnโt have meant right this second, he hadnโt evenย ๏ฌnished his breakfast, but Charlie picked up his phone and wandered out of the kitchen, disappearing upstairs, like heโd been waiting for any excuse to escape. Like it was unbearable to sit here, being a family of three. Bel got up to clear the table, so she could escape too, clinging to the low hum of Dadโs voice through the ceiling.
โ
A knock on the door. An uneasy knock, at once too serious and too silly,ย ๏ฌve taps clumped together in a tune. That would be Uncle Je๏ฌ, bad at reading rooms, even when he wasnโt in them.
Dad had just told him on the phone, repeated it until Je๏ฌย believed it. So they knew what to expect, the three of them. But you wouldnโt have known it by their faces, when Bel pulled open the door, Rachel standing behind her, still in those striped pajamas.
โOh my God!โย Sherry gasped, somewhere between a whisper and a shriek,ย ๏ฌickering between the two.ย โOh my God!โย More a shriek now, as she barged past Bel, folding Rachel into a tight hug. Rachel returned it, just as tight.ย โOh my God!โย Sherry held Rachel back to look at her, running herย ๏ฌngers through her short-hacked hair. There was a matching smile on Rachelโs face, eyes looming and wet.ย โRachel, honey. I canโt believe youโre alive,โย Sherry cried.ย โWe all thought you were gone forever. I canโt believe youโre really here, sweetie. This canโt be real.โ
Sherry squeezed Rachel again, breaking into sobs that shook both of them, locked in an earthquake together.
โWe missed you so much,โย Sherry continued.ย โGod, itโs a miracle!โ โMove over, Sher,โย Je๏ฌย said, stepping into the house.ย โLet me look at
her.โ
Rachel sidestepped back into view, tears falling into her open smile.ย โHello, Je๏ฌ,โย she croaked, but her eyes strayed behind him, to Carter, who was now shoulder to shoulder with Bel.
Carter squeezed Belโs hand and Bel squeezed hers back. They didnโt always need to speak, that said enough, a language of their own.
โCome here,โย Je๏ฌย said, arms open pincer-wide, catching Rachel.ย โI canโt believe youโre really back. Itโs been such a long time. We always hoped, but I never thoughtโฆโย He pulled away.ย โSo good to have you back, Rach.โ
โGood to be back,โย she said, gazeย ๏ฌicking to the front door, to Bel and Carter standing here against the sun.
Je๏ฌย followed her eyes.ย โOh, Rachel, this is our daughter, Carโโ
โCarter,โย Rachel completed it for him, a nod of her head, almost a bow.ย โBel already told me about you.โ
โHi, Aunt Rachel.โย Carter stepped forward, waving one awkward hand.ย โItโs nice to meet you.โ
Rachel moved too, meeting her halfway. They leaned into a hug, arms slotting in.ย โItโs good to meet you too, sweetie,โย Rachel said, eyes glittering as she pulled away.
Sweetie.ย She hadnโt called Bel that yet, couldnโt even get her name right. Come to think of it, Rachel hadnโt tried to hug Bel either. Or Charlie, for that matter, her own husband. The people she should love most. But Sherry and Je๏ฌย and Carter walked through the door and they got hugs and smiles andย sweeties.
โVery good to meet you,โย Rachel said, another smile for Carter, another
stab in Belโs gut. It wasnโt jealousy, donโt be stupid. It was something else, a side e๏ฌect of the wrongness of it all, of Rachel, and everything she said and did. Something wasnโt right, whatever Dad wanted to believe.
โWhenโs your birthday, Carter?โ
โJuly tenth,โย Carter answered, still too close to Rachel. Something in Bel wanted to pull her cousin away, protect her from Rachelโs gaze.
Rachel nodded.ย โSo you must have been pregnant, Sherry, when I was taken?โ
โI was. Not yet showing.โ
โIโm sure we all have lots to catch up on, sixteen yearsโย worth. Canโt do it all here in the hallway,โย Rachel said, the tears gone but a near-unnoticeable shake in her bottom lip, threatening to bring them back. Maybe she was just realizing; people had had entire lives in the time she was gone.ย โPlease, letโs sit down.โ
Je๏ฌย and Sherry walked into the living room, greeting Charlie with moreย Oh my gods andย I canโt believe its. Rachel glanced at Bel, a look in her eyes that was still unreadable. Then she gestured Carter ahead with a kindย โAfter you,โย following behind her.
No one mind Bel, then. She shut the front door, harder than she had to.
Dad put on another pot of co๏ฌee. And Sherry had brought cupcakes; they were just sitting around the house, she thought she might as well bring them. Didnโt feel right, though, happy blue-and-yellow frosting with sprinkles, turned this all into a celebration somehow. Bel was full from breakfast: none for her, thanks.
No one asked anything about Rachelโs missing time, speaking around those sixteen years in wide, awkward circles. Dad must have asked them not to. Rachel seemed happy with that, focusing on everyone else. She must have been sick of the story of her disappearance and reappearance too, the number of times sheโd had to repeat it in the last twenty-four hours: to Bel, Charlie, the Gorham Police Department, State Police, feds, attorney generalโs o๏ฌce. Must have been exhausting, especially trying to remember all those little details. Sheโd already messed it up once. Bel needed to stop thinking about it, maybe she should have a cake.
โSo, Carter, tell me about yourself,โย Rachel said, studying her niece, wedged on the sofa between her parents.ย โWhat subjects do you like at school? What do you do for fun?โ
This question again. Had Rachel forgotten whatย funย meant; was that what sixteen years being disappeared did to you?
โI like English lit most.โย Carterย ๏ฌddled with her sleeve.
โReally?โย Rachel beamed.ย โDo you go to Gorham High with Bel? I used to teach English lit there.โ
Carter nodded politely. She already knew that; she had to walk past The Rachel Shrine every day too. Rachel must not know yet, that she was this townโs most popular mystery.
โWhatโs your favorite book?โย Rachel asked her. She hadnโt asked Bel that yet. Bel liked to read too.ย โUm, I likeโโ
โCarterโs actually a dancer, Rachel,โย Sherry cut in, a dramatic sip of her co๏ฌee.ย โA ballerina. She has the potential to go all the way.โ
โWow, really?โย Rachel said, eyes lighting up.ย โThatโs amazing. Iโd love to see you dance sometime.โ
Carter swallowed her mouthful of cake.ย โThereโs a show, at my dance school, in a few weeks,โย she said. Was that an invite? Carter never asked Bel to come and watch her.
โThat must be quite a commitment, on top of your schoolwork,โย Rachel said.ย โDo you enjoy all the dancing, Carter?โ
โShe loves it,โย Sherry spoke for her, a proud squeeze of Carterโs bony knee.ย โLives for it.โ
Carter nodded, agreeing. Sheโd told Bel sometimes it was easier to let her mom speak for her; Sherry loved to speak, and Carter didnโt always. They worked well together like that, how a mother and daughter should.
โSo, Rachel,โย Sherry turned attention back to her.ย โCharlie said thereโs going to be a press conference tomorrow morning. Are you ready for the world to know youโre back? Itโs going to be a media shitstorm, pardon my French.โ
Rachel looked unsure what to say.
Charlie spoke instead; heโd been quiet for a while, hovering close to Belโs chair.ย โWeโve dealt with media shitstorms in the past, we can do it again. As a family.โ
โHappier news this time,โย Je๏ฌย added.ย โFinally a chance to clear your name for good, Charlie. No one can think you killed your wife now.โ
โI donโt have anything to wear,โย Rachel said in a small voice, aย ๏ฌash of shame as she looked down at her pajamas, everyone else dressed for the day.ย โHoney,โย Sherry said, sticking her bottom lip out in sympathy, aย ๏ฌap of her hand.ย โDonโt you worry about that; I can lend you something. Or maybe Bel has something you can borrow.โย Sherry nudged Bel with her eyes.ย โYou two are the same size. Bel, you must have something your mom can wear. A
black dress, something nice?โย Everyone waited for her answer.
โUm, yeah,โย Bel said.ย โIโllย ๏ฌnd something.โ
โThanks, Anna,โย Rachel said, a small smile to match her small voice.
It was Bel, for fuckโs sake. She hoped someone else in the room would correct Rachel for her, but a knock at the door saved them.
Charlie sti๏ฌened.ย โDid you order anything, Bel?โ
She shook her head and followed him out of the room, to get away from Rachelโs eyes, too much like her own.
Charlie pulled the door open with an intake of breath.
Ramsey was standing on the doorstep. James next to him, a camera perched on his shoulder. Saba and Ash arranged behind on the steps, a yellow backward cap over Ashโs curly hair, the boom microphone hanging above them all.
โSorry to come by unannounced,โย Ramsey said, a grating sound as he ran his hand over his stubble.ย โBeen trying to call you, both of you, since you left set yesterday, Bel.โย He looked sorry about that, like heโd worked out why that happened, solved a mini-mystery in the shadow of the main one. He didnโt know that was solved now too. Although Bel bet he was going toย ๏ฌnd out inย threeโฆโWeโve rescheduled the reenactment, but thatโs not why weโre here.โโฆtwoโฆโListen, donโt really know how to say this, but thereโs a weird rumor going round. Kosaโwho owns the hotelโsays she heard from someone that Rachel has reโโ
โฆoneโฆ
The life drained from Ramseyโs face all at once, teeth gritted in the shape of his broken word. Eyes wide. Horror or awe or both.
There she was, hanging in the hallway behind, like sheโd been summoned by the mention of her name. Hadnโt worked for sixteen years, but it worked every time now.
โโฆappeared,โย Ramsey whispered the rest.
Ash rose up on his tiptoes behind, eyes searching for what Ramsey had seen, starting with Bel, trailing to the woman behind.
Fuck,ย he mouthed silently, leaving his lips open around it.
โHello,โย Rachel said, narrowing her eyes, surprised to see a Britishย ๏ฌlm crew standing at her front door, staring in shock.
โR-Rachel?โย Ramsey staggered.ย โRachel Price?โ
Rachel stepped forward, glancing at Bel, then Charlie, like she was checking with themย ๏ฌrst. Neither of them said anything to stop her.
โThatโs me.โย She dipped her head.ย โWho are you?โ
โJesus Christ.โย He whistled.ย โNo, thatโs not my name. Iโm Ramsey Lee,ย ๏ฌlmmaker.โย He o๏ฌered his hand for her to shake, a visible shiver passing through him when she did. Was he scared, or was this the best thing to ever happen to him? He probably wouldnโt struggle toย ๏ฌnd a broadcaster for his documentary now.
โSorry, this is very surreal.โย Ramsey sni๏ฌed.ย โWeโve been making a documentary about you. I canโt believe youโre alive. After all this time.โ
โIt was a surprise for all of us,โย Charlie said. Well, not Rachel. She knew she was alive.
โSorry, didnโt get a chance to tell you about this yet,โย Charlie said to Rachel, gesturing at the crew.
โGod, itโs so strange, meeting you,โย Ramsey continued.ย โIโve done so much research about you the last few months, it almost feels like weโve already met.โ
โWhoa, hey, wait,โย Charlie said suddenly, a trace of rare anger in his voice that made everyone stand back, Rachel and Bel too.ย โAre you rolling?โย He eyeballed the camera on Jamesโs shoulder.
Ramsey slinked back over the threshold, Prices inside, crew out, redrawing the lines between them.ย โWell, yes,โย he said, not meeting Charlieโs eye.ย โI wanted to see your reaction to this crazy rumor. I never in a million years thought that Rachel would actuallyโโ
โStop recording.โย Charlie put his hands up to block the cameraโs view.ย โShe hasnโt even had herย ๏ฌrst full day back yet. We are still processing. The investigation is ongoing. The police wonโt want us talking to you until theyโve worked out what information they want released publicly.โย Charlie ushered them all back, stepping down the stairs in their same formation, not breaking ranks. Ash was on the path, looking at Bel, like he was trying to catch her attention. She gave it to him for one second.
You OK?ย he mouthed.
Bel took her attention back.
โThereโs a press conference tomorrow morning in Town Hall,โย Charlie said, shooing them farther.ย โAfter that, I will talk to the police and see where that leaves us with the doc.โ
โOK,โย Ramsey said, bowing his head quickly, oneย ๏ฌnger raised,ย โbut Iโโ โWhatโs it called?โย Rachel cut in, hovering in the doorway, eyes screwed
against the sun.ย โThe documentary?โ
Ramsey swallowed, staring up at her.ย โThe Disappearance of Rachel Price.ย Except, I guess weโll have to change the name now.โ
โTo what?โ
