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โ€ŒChapter no 18

Siege and Storm (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy, #2) by Leigh Bardugo

The gritski mansionย was in the canal district, considered the least fashionable part of the upper town because of its proximity to the bridge and the rabble across it. It was a lavish little building, bordered by a war memorial on one side and the gardens of the Convent of Sankta Lizabeta on the other.

Mal had managed to secure a borrowed coach for the evening, and we were tucked inside its narrow confines with a very cranky Tamar. She and Tolya had grumbled long and loudly about the party, but Iโ€™d made it clear that I wasnโ€™t going to budge. I also swore them to secrecy; I didnโ€™t want word of my little excursion beyond the palace gates to reach Nikolai.

We were all dressed in the style of Suli fortune-tellers, in vibrant orange silk cloaks and red lacquered masks carved to resemble jackals. Tolya had remained behind. Even covered head to toe, his size would draw too much attention.

Mal squeezed my hand, and I felt a surge of giddy excitement. My cloak was uncomfortably warm, and my face was already starting to itch beneath the mask, but I didnโ€™t care. I felt like we were back at Keramzin, casting off our chores and braving the threat of the switch just to sneak away to our meadow. We would lie in the cool grass and listen to the hum of the insects, watch the clouds break apart overhead. That kind of peace seemed so far away now.

The street leading to the pickle kingโ€™s mansion was clogged with carriages. We turned onto an alley near the convent so that weโ€™d be better able to mix in with the performers at the servantsโ€™ entrance.

Tamar carefully shifted her cloak as we descended from the coach. She and Mal were both carrying hidden pistols, and I knew that beneath all the orange silk, she had her twin axes strapped to each thigh.

โ€œWhat if someone actually wants his fortune told?โ€ I asked, tightening the laces of my mask and pulling my hood up.

โ€œJust feed him the usual drivel,โ€ said Mal. โ€œBeautiful women, unexpected wealth. Beware of the number eight.โ€

The servantsโ€™ entrance led past a steam-filled kitchen and into the houseโ€™s back rooms. But as soon as we stepped inside, a man dressed in what must have been the Gritzki livery seized my arm.

โ€œJust what do you think youโ€™re doing?โ€ he said, giving me a shake. I saw Tamarโ€™s hand go to her hip.

โ€œIโ€”โ€

โ€œYou three should already be circulating.โ€ He shoved us toward the main rooms of the house. โ€œDonโ€™t spend too long with any single guest. And donโ€™t let me catch you drinking!โ€

I nodded, trying to get my heart to stop hammering, and we hurried into the ballroom. The pickle king had spared no expense. The mansion had been decorated to look like the most decadent Suli camp imaginable. The ceiling was hung with a thousand star-shaped lanterns. Silk-covered wagons were parked around the edges of the room in a glittering caravan, and fake bonfires glowed with dancing colored light. The terrace doors had been thrown open, and the night air hummed with the rhythmic clang of finger cymbals and the wail of violins.

I saw the real Suli fortune-tellers scattered throughout the crowd and realized what an eerie sight we must make in our jackal masks, but the guests didnโ€™t seem to mind. Most of them were already well in their cups, laughing and shouting to one another in boisterous groups, gawking at the acrobats twirling from silk swings overhead. Some sat swaying in their chairs, having their fortunes told over golden urns of coffee. Others ate at the long table that had been set up on the terrace, gorging on stuffed figs and bowls of pomegranate seeds, clapping along with the music.

Mal snuck me a little glass ofย kvas, and we found a bench in a shadowy corner of the terrace while Tamar took up her post a discreet distance away. I rested my head against Malโ€™s shoulder, happy just to be sitting beside him, listening to the thump and jangle of the music. The air was heavy with the scent of some night-blooming flower and, beneath that, the tang of lemons. I breathed deeply, feeling some of the exhaustion and fear of the last few weeks ease away. I wriggled my foot from my slipper and let my toes dig into the cool gravel.

Mal adjusted his hood to better hide his face and tipped up his mask, then reached forward and did the same with mine. He leaned in. Our

jackal masks bumped snouts.

I started to laugh.

โ€œNext time, different costumes,โ€ he grumbled. โ€œBigger hats?โ€

โ€œMaybe we could just wear baskets over our heads.โ€

Two girls came swaying up to us. Tamar was by my side in an instant. We pushed our masks back into place.

โ€œTell our fortunes!โ€ the taller girl demanded, practically toppling over her friend.

Tamar shook her head, but Mal gestured to one of the little tables laid with blue enamel cups and a golden urn.

The girl squealed and poured out a tiny amount of sludge-like coffee. The Suli told fortunes by reading the dregs at the bottom of the cup. She downed the coffee and grimaced.

I elbowed Mal in the side.ย Now what?

He rose and walked to the table.

โ€œHmmm,โ€ he said, peering into the cup. โ€œHmmm.โ€ The girl seized his arm. โ€œWhat is it?โ€

He waved me over. I gritted my teeth and bent over the cup. โ€œIs it bad?โ€ the girl moaned.

โ€œEeet eeees โ€ฆ goooood,โ€ said Mal in the most outrageous Suli accent Iโ€™d ever heard.

The girl sighed in relief.

โ€œYou weeel meet a handsome stranger.โ€

The girls giggled and clapped their hands. I couldnโ€™t resist.

โ€œHe weeel be very wicked man,โ€ I interjected. My accent was even worse than Malโ€™s. If any real Suli overheard me, Iโ€™d probably end up with a black eye. โ€œYou must run from theees man.โ€

โ€œOh,โ€ the girls sighed in disappointment.

โ€œYou must marry ugly man,โ€ I said. โ€œVery fet.โ€ I held my arms out in front of me, indicating a giant belly. โ€œHe weeel make you heppy.โ€

I heard Mal snort beneath his mask.

The girl sniffed. โ€œI donโ€™t like this fortune,โ€ she said. โ€œLetโ€™s go try another one.โ€ As they flounced away, two rather tipsy noblemen took their place.

One had a beaky nose and wobbly jowls. The other threw back his coffee like he was gulpingย kvasย and slammed the cup down on the table. โ€œNow,โ€ he slurred, twitching his bristly red mustache. โ€œWhatโ€™ve I got in store? And make it good.โ€

Mal pretended to study the cup. โ€œYou weeel come into a great fortune.โ€

โ€œAlready have a great fortune. What else?โ€

โ€œUhโ€ฆโ€ Mal hedged. โ€œYour wife weeel bear you three handsome sons.โ€

His beak-nosed companion burst out laughing. โ€œThen youโ€™llย know

they arenโ€™t yours!โ€ he bellowed.

I thought the other nobleman would take offense, but instead he just guffawed, his red face turning even redder.

โ€œHave to congratulate the footman!โ€ he roared.

โ€œI hear all the best families have bastards,โ€ chortled his friend. โ€œWe all have dogs, too. But we donโ€™t let them sit at the table!โ€

I grimaced beneath my mask. I had a sneaking suspicion they were talking about Nikolai.

โ€œOh dear,โ€ I said, yanking the cup from Malโ€™s hand. โ€œOh dear, so sad.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s that?โ€ said the nobleman, still laughing. โ€œYou weeel go bald,โ€ I said. โ€œVery bald.โ€

He stopped laughing, and his meaty hand strayed to his already thinning red hair.

โ€œAnd you,โ€ I said, pointing at his friend. Mal gave my foot a warning nudge, but I ignored him. โ€œYou weeel catch theย korpa.โ€

โ€œThe what?โ€

โ€œTheย korpa!โ€ I declared in dire tones. โ€œYour private parts weeel shrink to nothink!โ€

He paled. His throat worked. โ€œButโ€”โ€

At that moment there was shouting from inside the ballroom and a loud crash as someone upended a table. I saw two men shoving each other.

โ€œI think itโ€™s time to leave,โ€ said Tamar, edging us away from the commotion.

I was about to protest when the fight broke out in earnest. People started pushing and shoving, crowding the doors to the terrace. The music had stopped, and it looked like some of the fortune-tellers had gotten into the scramble too. Over the crowd, I saw one of the silken wagons collapse. Someone came hurtling toward us and crashed into the noblemen. The coffee urn toppled off the table, and the little blue cups followed.

โ€œLetโ€™s go,โ€ said Mal, reaching for his pistol. โ€œOut the back.โ€

Tamar led the way, axes already in hand. I followed her down the stairs, but as we stepped off the terrace, I heard another horrible crash and a woman screaming. She was pinned beneath the banquet table.

Mal holstered his pistol. โ€œGet her to the carriage,โ€ he shouted to Tamar. โ€œIโ€™ll catch up.โ€

โ€œMalโ€”โ€

โ€œGo! Iโ€™ll be right behind you.โ€ He pushed into the crowd, toward the trapped woman.

Tamar tugged me down the garden stairs and up a path that led back along the side of the mansion, to the street. It was dark away from the glowing lanterns of the party. I let a soft light blossom to guide our steps. โ€œDonโ€™t,โ€ said Tamar. โ€œThis could be a distraction. Youโ€™ll give away

our location.โ€

I let the light fade, and a second later, I heard a scuffle, a loudย oof,

and thenโ€”silence. โ€œTamar?โ€

I looked back toward the party, hoping I would hear Malโ€™s approach.

My heart started to pound. I raised my hands. Forget giving away our location, I wasnโ€™t going to just stand around in the dark. Then I heard a gate creak, and strong hands took hold of me. I was yanked through the hedge.

I sent light searing out in a hot flare. I was in a stone courtyard off the main garden, bordered on all sides by yew hedges, and I was not alone.

I smelled him before I saw himโ€”turned earth, incense, mildew. The smell of a grave. I raised my hands as the Apparat stepped out of the shadows. The priest was just as I remembered him, the same wiry black beard and relentless gaze. He still wore the brown robes of his station, but the Kingโ€™s double eagle was gone from his chest, replaced by a sunburst wrought in gold thread.

โ€œStay where you are,โ€ I warned.

He bowed low. โ€œAlina Starkov, Sol Koroleva. I mean you no harm.โ€ โ€œWhereโ€™s Tamar? If sheโ€™s been hurtโ€”โ€

โ€œYour guards will not be harmed, but I beg you to listen.โ€ โ€œWhat do you want? How did you know I would be here?โ€ โ€œThe faithful are everywhere, Sol Koroleva.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t call me that!โ€

โ€œEvery day your holy army grows, drawn by the promise of your light. They wait only for you to lead them.โ€

โ€œMy army? Iโ€™ve seen the pilgrims camped outside the city wallsโ€” poor, weak, hungry, all desperate for the scraps of hope you feed them.โ€

โ€œThere are others. Soldiers.โ€

โ€œMore people who think Iโ€™m a Saint because youโ€™ve sold them a lie?โ€ โ€œIt is no lie, Alina Starkov. You are Daughter of Keramzin, Reborn of

the Fold.โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t die!โ€ I said furiously. โ€œI survived because I escaped the Darkling, and I murdered an entire skiff of soldiers and Grisha to do it. Do you tell your followers that?โ€

โ€œYour people are suffering. Only you can bring about the dawn of a new age, an age consecrated in holy fire.โ€

His eyes were wild, the black so deep I couldnโ€™t see his pupils. But was his madness real or part of some elaborate act?

โ€œJust who will rule this new age?โ€

โ€œYou, of course. Sol Koroleva, Sankta Alina.โ€

โ€œWith you at my right hand? I read the book you gave me. Saints donโ€™t live long lives.โ€

โ€œCome with me, Alina Starkov.โ€ โ€œIโ€™m not going anywhere with you.โ€

โ€œYou are not yet strong enough to face the Darkling. I can change that.โ€

I stilled. โ€œTell me what you know.โ€ โ€œJoin me, and all will be revealed.โ€

I advanced on him, surprised by the throb of hunger and rage that shot through me. โ€œWhere is the firebird?โ€ I thought he might respond with confusion, that he might pretend ignorance. Instead, he smiled, his gums black, his teeth a crooked jumble. โ€œTell me, priest,โ€ I ordered, โ€œor Iโ€™ll cut you open right here, and your followers can try to pray you back together.โ€ With a start, I realized that I meant it.

For the first time, he looked nervous.ย Good.ย Had he expected a tame Saint?

He held up his hands placatingly.

โ€œI do not know,โ€ he said. โ€œI swear it. But when the Darkling left the Little Palace, he did not realize it would be for the last time. He left many precious things behind, things others believed long since destroyed.โ€

Another surge of hunger crackled through me. โ€œMorozovaโ€™s journals?

You have them?โ€

โ€œCome with me, Alina Starkov. There are secrets buried deep.โ€

Could he possibly be telling the truth? Or would he just hand me over to the Darkling?

โ€œAlina!โ€ Malโ€™s voice sounded from somewhere on the other side of the hedge.

โ€œIโ€™m here!โ€ I called.

Mal burst into the courtyard, pistol drawn. Tamar was right behind him. Sheโ€™d lost one of her axes, and there was blood smeared over the front of her cloak.

The Apparat turned in a musty whirl of cloth and slipped between the bushes.

โ€œWait!โ€ I cried, already moving to follow. Tamar bolted past me with a furious roar, diving into the hedges to give chase.

โ€œI need him alive!โ€ I shouted at her disappearing back. โ€œAre you all right?โ€ Mal panted as he came level with me.

I took hold of his sleeve. โ€œMal, I think he has Morozovaโ€™s journals.โ€ โ€œDid he hurt you?โ€

โ€œI can handle an old priest,โ€ I said impatiently. โ€œDid you hear what I said?โ€

He drew back. โ€œYes, I heard you. I thought you were in danger.โ€ โ€œI wasnโ€™t. Iโ€”โ€

But Tamar was already striding back to us, her face a mask of frustration. โ€œI donโ€™t understand it,โ€ she said, shaking her head. โ€œHe was there and then he was just gone.โ€

โ€œSaints,โ€ I swore.

She hung her head. โ€œForgive me.โ€

Iโ€™d never seen her look so downcast. โ€œItโ€™s all right,โ€ I said, my mind still churning. Part of me wanted to go back down that alley and shout for the Apparat, demand that he show himself, hunt him through the city streets until I found him and pried the truth from his lying mouth. I peered down the row of hedges. I could still hear shouting from the party far behind me, and somewhere in the dark, the bells of the convent began to ring. I sighed. โ€œLetโ€™s get out of here.โ€

We found our driver waiting on the narrow sidestreet where weโ€™d left him. The ride back to the palace was tense.

โ€œThat brawl was no coincidence,โ€ said Mal.

โ€œNo,โ€ agreed Tamar, dabbing at the ugly cut on her chin. โ€œHe knew we would be there.โ€

โ€œHow?โ€ Mal demanded. โ€œNo one else knew we were going. Did you tell Nikolai?โ€

โ€œNikolai had nothing to do with this,โ€ I said. โ€œHow can you be so sure?โ€

โ€œBecause he has nothing to gain.โ€ I pressed my fingers to my temples. โ€œMaybe someone saw us leaving the palace.โ€

โ€œHow did the Apparat get into Os Alta without being seen? How did he even know we would be at that party?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know,โ€ I replied wearily. โ€œHe said the faithful are everywhere. Maybe one of the servants overheard.โ€

โ€œWe got lucky tonight,โ€ said Tamar. โ€œThis could have been much worse.โ€

โ€œI was never in any real danger,โ€ I insisted. โ€œHe just wanted to talk.โ€ โ€œWhat did he say?โ€

I gave her the barest description, but I didnโ€™t mention Morozovaโ€™s journals. I hadnโ€™t talked to anyone except Mal about them, and Tamar knew too much about the amplifiers already.

โ€œHeโ€™s raising some kind of army,โ€ I finished. โ€œPeople who believe that Iโ€™ve risen from the dead, who think I have some kind of holy power.โ€

โ€œHow many?โ€ Mal asked.

โ€œI donโ€™t know. And I donโ€™t know what he intends to do with them. March them against the King? Send them to fight the Darklingโ€™s horde? Iโ€™m already responsible for the Grisha. I donโ€™t want the burden of an army of helplessย otkazatโ€™sya.โ€

โ€œWeโ€™re not all quite so feeble,โ€ said Mal, an edge to his voice.

โ€œI didnโ€™t โ€ฆ I just meant heโ€™s using these people. Heโ€™s exploiting their hope.โ€

โ€œIs it any different than Nikolai parading you from village to village?โ€

โ€œNikolai isnโ€™t telling people that Iโ€™m immortal or can perform miracles.โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Mal said. โ€œHeโ€™s just letting them believe it.โ€ โ€œWhy are you so ready to attack him?โ€

โ€œWhy are you so quick to defend him?โ€

I turned away, tired, exasperated, unable to think past the whir of thoughts in my head. The lamplit streets of the upper town slid by the coachโ€™s window. We passed the rest of the ride in silence.

* * *

BACK AT THE LITTLE PALACE,ย I changed clothes while Mal and Tamar filled Tolya in on what had happened.

I was sitting on the bed when Mal knocked. He shut the door behind him and leaned against it, looking around.

โ€œThis room is so depressing. I thought you were going to redecorate.โ€

I shrugged. I had too many other things to worry about, and Iโ€™d almost gotten used to the roomโ€™s quiet gloom.

โ€œDo you believe he has the journals?โ€ Mal asked. โ€œI was surprised he even knew they existed.โ€

He crossed to the bed, and I bent my knees to make room for him. โ€œTamarโ€™s right,โ€ he said, settling by my feet. โ€œThat could have been

much worse.โ€

I sighed. โ€œSo much for seeing the sights.โ€ โ€œI shouldnโ€™t have suggested it.โ€

โ€œI shouldnโ€™t have gone along with it.โ€

He nodded, scuffed the toe of his boot along the floor. โ€œI miss you,โ€ he said quietly.

Soft words, but they sent a painful, welcome tremor through me. Had a part of me doubted it? Heโ€™d been gone so often.

I touched his hand. โ€œI miss you too.โ€

โ€œCome to target practice with me tomorrow,โ€ he said. โ€œDown by the lake.โ€

โ€œI canโ€™t. Nikolai and I are meeting with a delegation of Kerch bankers. They want to see the Sun Summoner before they guarantee a loan to the Crown.โ€

โ€œTell him youโ€™re sick.โ€ โ€œGrisha donโ€™t get sick.โ€

โ€œWell, tell him youโ€™re busy,โ€ he said. โ€œI canโ€™t.โ€

โ€œOther Grisha take time toโ€”โ€

โ€œIโ€™m notย otherย Grisha,โ€ I said, more harshly than I intended.

โ€œI know that,โ€ he said wearily. He let out a long breath. โ€œSaints, I hate this place.โ€

I blinked, startled by the vehemence in his voice. โ€œYou do?โ€

โ€œI hate the parties. I hate the people. I hate everything about it.โ€ โ€œI thought โ€ฆ you seemed โ€ฆ not happy exactly, butโ€”โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t belong here, Alina. Donโ€™t tell me you havenโ€™t noticed.โ€

That I didnโ€™t believe. Mal fit in everywhere. โ€œNikolai says everyone adores you.โ€

โ€œTheyโ€™re amused by me,โ€ Mal said. โ€œThatโ€™s not the same thing.โ€ He turned my hand over, tracing the scar that ran the length of my palm. โ€œDo you know I actually miss being on the run? Even that filthy little boardinghouse in Cofton and working in the warehouse. At least then I

felt like I was doing something, not just wasting time and gathering gossip.โ€

I shifted uncomfortably, feeling suddenly defensive. โ€œYou take every chance you get to be away. You donโ€™t have to accept every invitation.โ€

He stared at me. โ€œI stay away to protect you, Alina.โ€ โ€œFrom what?โ€ I asked incredulously.

He stood up, pacing restlessly across the room. โ€œWhat do you think people asked me on the royal hunt? The first thing? They wanted to know about me and you.โ€ He turned on me, and when he spoke his voice was cruel, mocking. โ€œIs it true that youโ€™re tumbling the Sun Summoner? Whatโ€™s it like with a Saint? Does she have a taste for trackers, or does she take all of her servants to her bed?โ€ He crossed his arms. โ€œI stay away to put distance between us, to stop the rumors. I probably shouldnโ€™t even be in here now.โ€

I circled my knees with my arms, drawing them more tightly to my chest. My cheeks were burning. โ€œWhy didnโ€™t you say something?โ€

โ€œWhat could I say? And when? I barely see you anymore.โ€ โ€œI thought you wanted to go.โ€

โ€œI wanted you to ask me to stay.โ€

My throat felt tight. I opened my mouth, ready to tell him that he wasnโ€™t being fair, that I couldnโ€™t have known. But was that the truth? Maybe I had really believed Mal was happier away from the Little Palace. Or maybe Iโ€™d just told myself that because it was easier with him gone, because it meant one less person watching and wanting something from me.

โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ I rasped.

He raised his hands as if to plead his case, then dropped them helplessly. โ€œI feel you slipping away from me, and I donโ€™t know how to stop it.โ€

Tears pricked my eyes. โ€œWeโ€™ll find a way,โ€ I said. โ€œWeโ€™ll make more timeโ€”โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not just that. Ever since you put on that second amplifier, youโ€™ve been different.โ€ My hand strayed to the fetter. โ€œWhen you split the dome, the way you talk about the firebird โ€ฆ I heard you speaking to Zoya the other day. She was scared, Alina. And you liked it.โ€

โ€œMaybe I did,โ€ I said, my anger rising. It felt so much better than guilt or shame. โ€œSo what? You have no idea what sheโ€™s like, what this place has been like for me. The fear, the responsibilityโ€”โ€

โ€œI know that. I know. And I can see the toll itโ€™s taking. But you chose this. You have a purpose. I donโ€™t even know what Iโ€™m doing here

anymore.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t say that.โ€ I swung my legs off the bed and stood. โ€œWe do have a purpose. We came here for Ravka. Weโ€”โ€

โ€œNo, Alina.ย Youย came here for Ravka. For the firebird. To lead the Second Army.โ€ He tapped the sun over his heart. โ€œI came here for you.ย Youโ€™reย my flag.ย Youโ€™reย my nation. But that doesnโ€™t seem to matter anymore. Do you realize this is the first time weโ€™ve really been alone in weeks?โ€

The knowledge of that settled over us. The room seemed unnaturally quiet. Mal took a single tentative step toward me. Then he closed the space between us in two long strides. One hand slid around my waist, the other cupped my face. Gently, he tilted my mouth up to his.

โ€œCome back to me,โ€ he said softly. He drew me to him, but as his lips met mine, something flickered in the corner of my eye.

The Darkling was standing behind Mal. I stiffened. Mal pulled back. โ€œWhat?โ€ he said.

โ€œNothing. I justโ€ฆโ€ I trailed off. I didnโ€™t know what to say.

The Darkling was still there. โ€œTell him you see me when he takes you in his arms,โ€ he said.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Mal dropped his hands and stepped away from me, his fingers curling into fists. โ€œI guess thatโ€™s all I needed to know.โ€

โ€œMalโ€”โ€

โ€œYou should have stopped me. All the time I was standing there, going on like a fool. If you didnโ€™t want me, you should have just said so.โ€

โ€œDonโ€™t feel too bad, tracker,โ€ said the Darkling. โ€œAll men can be made fools.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s not itโ€”โ€ I protested. โ€œIs it Nikolai?โ€

โ€œWhat? No!โ€

โ€œAnotherย otkazatโ€™sya, Alina?โ€ the Darkling mocked.

Mal shook his head in disgust. โ€œI let him push me away. The meetings, the council sessions, the dinners. I let him edge me out. Just waiting, hoping that youโ€™d miss me enough to tell them all to go to hell.โ€

I swallowed, trying to block out the vision of the Darklingโ€™s cold smile.

โ€œMal, the Darklingโ€”โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t want to hear about the Darkling anymore! Or Ravka or the amplifiers or any of it.โ€ He slashed his hand through the air. โ€œIโ€™m done.โ€

He turned on his heel and strode toward the door. โ€œWait!โ€ I rushed after him and reached for his arm.

He turned around so fast, I almost careened into him. โ€œDonโ€™t, Alina.โ€ โ€œYou donโ€™t understandโ€”โ€ I said.

โ€œYouย flinched. Tell me you didnโ€™t.โ€ โ€œIt wasnโ€™t because of you!โ€

Mal laughed harshly. โ€œI know you havenโ€™t had much experience. But Iโ€™ve kissed enough girls to know what that means. Donโ€™t worry. It wonโ€™t happen again.โ€

The words hit me like a slap. He slammed the door behind him.

I stood there, staring at the closed doors. I reached out and touched the bone handle.

You can fix this, I told myself.ย You can make this right.ย But I just stood there, frozen, Malโ€™s words ringing in my ears. I bit down hard on my lip to silence the sob that shook my chest.ย Thatโ€™s good, I thought as the tears spilled over.ย That way the servants wonโ€™t hear.ย An ache had started between my ribs, a hard, bright shard of pain that lodged beneath my sternum, pressing tight against my heart.

I didnโ€™t hear the Darkling move; I only knew when he was beside me. His long fingers brushed the hair back from my neck and rested on the collar. When he kissed my cheek, his lips were cold.

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