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Chapter no 15

Ruin and Rising (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy, #3)

MY STOMACH LURCHED.ย โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œThere are โ€ฆ there are rumors that he put it to the torch.โ€ โ€œAlinaโ€”โ€ Mal said.

โ€œThe students,โ€ I said, panic creeping in on me. โ€œWhat happened to the students?โ€

โ€œWe donโ€™t know,โ€ said Tamar.

I pressed my hands to my eyes, trying to think. โ€œYour key,โ€ I said, my breath coming in harsh gasps.

โ€œThereโ€™s no reason to believeโ€”โ€

โ€œTheย key,โ€ I repeated, hearing the quaking edge in my voice. Tamar handed it to me. โ€œThird on the right,โ€ she said softly.

I took the stairs two at a time. Near the top, I slipped and banged my knee hard on one of the steps. I barely felt it. I stumbled down the hall, counting the doors. My hands were shaking so badly, it took me two tries to fit the key in the lock and get it to turn.

The room was painted in reds and blues, just as cheerful as the rest of the place. I saw Tamarโ€™s jacket thrown over a chair by the tin basin, the two narrow beds pushed together, the rumpled wool blankets. The window was open, and autumn sunlight flooded through. A cool breeze lifted the curtains.

I slammed the door behind me and walked to the window. I gripped the sill, vaguely registering the rickety houses at the edge of the settlement, the spindles in the distance, the mountains beyond. I felt the pull of the wound in my shoulder, the creep of darkness inside me. I launched myself across the tether, seeking him, the only thought in my mind:ย What have you done?

With my next breath, I was standing before him, the room a blur around

me.

โ€œAt last,โ€ the Darkling said. He turned to me, his beautiful face coming into focus. He was leaning against a scorched mantel. Its outline was sickeningly familiar.

His gray eyes were empty, haunted. Was it Baghraโ€™s death that had left him this way or some horrific crime heโ€™d committed here?

โ€œCome,โ€ the Darkling said softly. โ€œI want you to see.โ€

I was trembling, but I let him take my hand and place it in the crook of his arm. As he did, the blurriness of the vision cleared and the room came to life around me.

We were in what had been the sitting room at Keramzin. The shabby sofas were stained black with soot. Ana Kuyaโ€™s treasured samovar lay on its side, a tarnished hulk. Nothing remained of the walls but a charred and jagged skeleton, the ghosts of doorways. The curving metal staircase that had once led to the music room had buckled from the heat, its steps fusing together. The ceiling was gone. I could see straight through the wreck of the second story. Where the attic should have been, there was only gray sky.

Strange,ย I thought stupidly.ย The sun is shining in Dva Stolba.

โ€œIโ€™ve been here for days,โ€ he said, leading me through the wreckage, over the piles of debris, through what had once been the entry hall, โ€œwaiting for you.โ€

The stone steps that led to the front door were smeared with ash but intact. I saw the long, straight gravel drive, the white pillars of the gate, the road that led to town. It had been nearly two years since Iโ€™d seen this view, but it was just as I remembered.

The Darkling placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me slightly.

My legs gave way. I fell to my knees, my hands clasped over my mouth. A sound tore from me, too broken to be called a scream.

The oak Iโ€™d once climbed on a dare still stood, untouched by the fire that had taken Keramzin. Now its branches were full of bodies. The three Grisha instructors hung from the same thick limb, theirย keftaย fluttering slightly in the windโ€”purple, red, and blue. Beside them, Botkinโ€™s face was nearly black above the rope that had dug into his neck. He was covered in wounds. Heโ€™d died fighting before theyโ€™d strung him up. Next to him, Ana Kuya swayed in her black dress, her heavy key ring at her waist, the toes of her button boots

nearly scraping the ground.

โ€œShe was, I think, the closest thing you had to a mother,โ€ murmured the Darkling.

The sobs that shook me were like the lashes of a whip. I flinched with each one, bent double, collapsing into myself. The Darkling knelt before me. He took me by the wrists, pulling my hands free from my face, as if he wanted to watch me weep.

โ€œAlina,โ€ he said. I kept my eyes on the steps, my tears clouding my vision.

I would not look at him. โ€œAlina,โ€ he repeated.

โ€œWhy?โ€ The word was a wail, a childโ€™s cry. โ€œWhy would you do this?ย How

can you do this? Donโ€™t you feel any of it?โ€

โ€œI have lived a long life, rich in grief. My tears are long since spent. If I still felt as you do, if I ached as you do, I could not have borne this eternity.โ€

โ€œI hope Botkin killed twenty of your Grisha,โ€ I spat at him, โ€œa hundred.โ€ โ€œHe was an extraordinary man.โ€

โ€œWhere are the students?โ€ I made myself ask, though I wasnโ€™t sure I could bear the answer. โ€œWhat have you done?โ€

โ€œWhere areย you, Alina? I felt sure you would come to me when I moved against West Ravka. I thought your conscience would demand it. I could only hope that this would draw you out.โ€

โ€œWhere are they?โ€ I screamed.

โ€œThey are safe. For now. They will be on my skiff when I enter the Fold again.โ€

โ€œAs hostages,โ€ I said dully.

He nodded. โ€œIn case you get any thoughts of attack rather than surrender. In five days, I will return to the Unsea, and you will come to meโ€”you and the trackerโ€”or I will drive the Fold all the way to West Ravkaโ€™s coast, and I will march those children, one by one, to the mercy of the volcra.โ€

โ€œThis place โ€ฆ these people, they were innocent.โ€

โ€œI have waited hundreds of years for this moment, for your power, for this chance. I have earned it with loss and with struggle. I will have it, Alina. Whatever the cost.โ€

I wanted to claw at him, to tell him Iโ€™d see him torn apart by his own monsters. I wanted to tell him I would bring all the power of Morozovaโ€™s amplifiers down on him, an army of light, born ofย merzost, perfect in its

vengeance. I might be able to do it, too. If Mal gave up his life. โ€œThere will be nothing left,โ€ I whispered.

โ€œNo,โ€ he said gently as he folded me in his arms. He pressed a kiss to the top of my hair. โ€œI will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no shelter but me.โ€

In grief, in horror, I let myself break apart.

* * *

I WAS STILL ON MY KNEES, my hands clutching the windowsill, my forehead pressed against the wooden slats of the boardinghouse wall. Outside, I could hear the faint jingle of prayer bells. Inside, there was no sound but the hitch of my breath, the rasp of my sobs as the whip continued to fall, as I bent my back and wept. That was where they found me.

I didnโ€™t hear the door open, or their steps as they approached. I just felt gentle hands take hold of me. Zoya sat me down on the edge of the bed, and Tamar settled beside me. Nadia took a comb to my hair, carefully working through the tangles. Genya washed first my face, then my hands with a cool cloth sheโ€™d wetted in the basin. It smelled faintly of mint.

We sat there, saying nothing, all of them clustered around me.

โ€œHe has the students,โ€ I said flatly. โ€œTwenty-three children. He killed the teachers. And Botkin.โ€ And Ana Kuya, a woman theyโ€™d never known. The woman who had raised me. โ€œMalโ€”โ€

โ€œHe told us,โ€ said Nadia softly.

I think some part of me expected blame, recrimination. Instead, Genya rested her head on my shoulder. Tamar squeezed my hand.

This wasnโ€™t just comfort, I realized. They were leaning on meโ€”as I was leaning on themโ€”for strength.

I have lived a long life, rich in grief.

Had the Darkling had friends like this? People whom heโ€™d loved, who had fought for him, and cared for him, and made him laugh? People who had become little more than sacrifices to a dream that outlived them?

โ€œHow long do we have?โ€ Tamar asked. โ€œFive days.โ€

A knock came at the door. It was Mal. Tamar made room for him beside me.

โ€œBad?โ€ he asked.

I nodded. I couldnโ€™t yet stand to tell him what Iโ€™d seen. โ€œI have five days to surrender, or heโ€™ll use the Fold again.โ€

โ€œHeโ€™ll do it anyway,โ€ said Mal. โ€œYou said so yourself. Heโ€™ll find a reason.โ€ โ€œI might buy us some timeโ€”โ€

โ€œAt what cost? You were willing to give up your life,โ€ he said quietly. โ€œWhy wonโ€™t you let me do the same?โ€

โ€œBecause I canโ€™t bear it.โ€

His face went hard. He seized my wrist and again I felt that jolt. Light cascaded behind my eyes, as if my whole body were ready to crack open with it. Unspeakable power lay behind that door, and Malโ€™s death would open it.

โ€œYouย willย bear it,โ€ he said. โ€œOr all of these deaths, all weโ€™ve given up, will be for nothing.โ€

Genya cleared her throat. โ€œUm. The thing is, you may not have to. David has an idea.โ€

* * * โ€œACTUALLY, IT WAS Genyaโ€™s idea,โ€ David said.

We were crowded around a table beneath an awning, a little way down the street from our boardinghouse. There were no real restaurants in this part of the settlement, but a kind of makeshift tavern had been set up in a burned-out lot. There were lanterns strung over the rickety tables, a wooden keg of sweet fermented milk, and meat roasting in two metal drums like the one weโ€™d seen that first day at the market. The air was thick with the smell of juniper smoke. Two men were shooting dice at a table near the keg while another plucked his way through a shapeless tune on a battered guitar. There was no discernible melody, but Misha seemed satisfied. Heโ€™d taken up an elaborate

dance that apparently required clapping and a great deal of concentration. โ€œWeโ€™ll make sure to put Genyaโ€™s name on the plaque,โ€ said Zoya. โ€œJust get

on with it.โ€

โ€œRemember how you disguised theย Bittern?โ€ David asked. โ€œThe way you bent the light around the ship instead of letting it bounce off of it?โ€

โ€œI was thinking,โ€ said Genya. โ€œWhat if you did that with us?โ€ I frowned. โ€œYou meanโ€”โ€

โ€œItโ€™s the exact same principle,โ€ said David. โ€œItโ€™s a greater challenge

because there are more variables than just blue sky, but curving light around a soldier is no different than curving light around an object.โ€

โ€œWait a minute,โ€ said Harshaw. โ€œYou mean weโ€™d be invisible?โ€ โ€œExactly,โ€ said Genya.

Adrik leaned forward. โ€œThe Darkling will launch from the drydocks in Kribirsk. We could sneak into his camp. Get the students out that way.โ€ His fist was clenched, his eyes alight. He knew those children better than any of us. Some of them were probably his friends.

Tolya frowned. โ€œThereโ€™s no way weโ€™d get into camp and free them without being noticed. Some of those kids are younger than Misha.โ€

โ€œKribirsk will be too complicated,โ€ said David. โ€œLots of people, interrupted sight lines. If Alina had more time to practiceโ€”โ€

โ€œWe have five days,โ€ I repeated.

โ€œSo we attack on the Fold,โ€ said Genya. โ€œAlinaโ€™s light will keep the volcra at bayโ€”โ€

I shook my head. โ€œWeโ€™d still have to fight the Darklingโ€™sย nichevoโ€™ya.โ€ โ€œNot if they canโ€™t see us,โ€ said Genya.

Nadia grinned. โ€œWeโ€™d be hiding in plain sight.โ€

โ€œHeโ€™ll haveย oprichnikiย and Grisha too,โ€ said Tolya. โ€œThey wonโ€™t be short on ammunition like we will. Even if they canโ€™t see their targets, they may just open fire and hope they get lucky.โ€

โ€œSo we stay out of range.โ€ Tamar moved her plate to the center of the table. โ€œThis is the glass skiff,โ€ she said. โ€œWe place marksmen around the perimeter and use them to thin the Darklingโ€™s ranks.ย Thenย we get close enough to sneak onto the skiff, and once we get the kids to safetyโ€”โ€

โ€œWe blow it to bits,โ€ said Harshaw. He was practically salivating at the prospect of the explosion.

โ€œAnd the Darkling with it,โ€ Genya finished.

I gave Tamarโ€™s plate a turn, considering what the others were suggesting. Without the third amplifier, my power was no match for the Darklingโ€™s in a head-on confrontation. Heโ€™d proved that in no uncertain terms. But what if I came at him unseen, using light for cover the way others used darkness? It was sneaky, even cowardly, but the Darkling and I had left honor behind long ago. Heโ€™d been in my head, waged war on my heart. I wasnโ€™t interested in a fair fight, not if there was a chance I could save Malโ€™s life.

As if he could read my mind, Mal said, โ€œI donโ€™t like it. Too many things can go wrong.โ€

โ€œThis isnโ€™t just your choice,โ€ said Nadia. โ€œYouโ€™ve been fighting beside us and bleeding with us for months now. We deserve the chance to try and save your life.โ€

โ€œEven if youโ€™re a uselessย otkazatโ€™sya,โ€ added Zoya.

โ€œCareful,โ€ said Harshaw. โ€œYouโ€™re talking to the Darklingโ€™s โ€ฆ wait, what are you? His cousin? His nephew?โ€

Mal shuddered. โ€œI have no idea.โ€

โ€œAre you going to start wearing black now?โ€ Mal gave a very firm โ€œNo.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re one of us,โ€ said Genya, โ€œwhether you like it or not. Besides, if Alina has to kill you, she may go completely crazyย andย sheโ€™ll have the three amplifiers. Then it will be up to Misha to stop her with the power of awful dancing.โ€

โ€œShe is pretty moody,โ€ said Harshaw. He tapped his temple. โ€œNot totally

there, if you know what I mean.โ€

They were kidding, but they might also have been right.ย You were meant to be my balance.ย What I felt for Mal was messy and stubborn and might leave me heartbroken in the end, but it was also human.

Nadia reached out and nudged Malโ€™s hand. โ€œAt least consider the plan.

And if it all goes wrongโ€”โ€

โ€œAlina gets a new bracelet,โ€ finished Zoya.

I scowled. โ€œHow about I sliceย youย open and see how your bones fit?โ€ Zoya fluffed her hair. โ€œI bet theyโ€™re just as gorgeous as the rest of me.โ€

I gave Tamarโ€™s plate another turn, trying to imagine what this kind of maneuver might require. I wished I had Nikolaiโ€™s mind for strategy. One thing I was sure of. โ€œIt will take more than an explosion to kill the Darkling. He survived the Fold and the destruction of the chapel.โ€

โ€œThen what?โ€ asked Harshaw.

โ€œIt has to be me,โ€ I said. โ€œIf we can separate him from his shadow soldiers, I can use the Cut.โ€ The Darkling was powerful, but I doubted even he could bounce back from being torn in half. And though I had no claim to Morozovaโ€™s name, I was the Sun Summoner. Iโ€™d hoped for a grand destiny, but I would settle for a clean kill.

Zoya released a brief, giddy laugh. โ€œThis actually might work.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s worth thinking about,โ€ I said to Mal. โ€œThe Darkling will expect an attack, but he wonโ€™t expect this.โ€

Mal was silent for a long moment. โ€œAll right,โ€ he said. โ€œBut if it does go wrong โ€ฆ we all agree what has to happen.โ€

He looked around the table. One by one they nodded. Tolyaโ€™s face was stoic. Genya dropped her gaze. Finally, only I remained.

โ€œI want your word, Alina.โ€

I swallowed the lump in my throat. โ€œIโ€™ll do it.โ€ The words tasted like iron on my tongue.

โ€œGood,โ€ he said. He grabbed my hand. โ€œNow, letโ€™s show Misha how bad dancingโ€™s done.โ€

โ€œKill you, dance with you. Any other requests?โ€

โ€œNot at the moment,โ€ he said, pulling me close. โ€œBut Iโ€™m sure Iโ€™ll think of something.โ€

I tucked my head against Malโ€™s shoulder and breathed in his scent. I knew I shouldnโ€™t let myself believe in this possibility. We didnโ€™t have an army. We didnโ€™t have the resources of a king. We only had this ragged crew.ย I will strip away all that you know, all that you love.ย If he could, I knew the Darkling would use these people against me, but it had never occurred to him that they might be more than liabilities. Maybe heโ€™d underestimated them, and maybe heโ€™d underestimated me too.

It was stupid. It was dangerous. But Ana Kuya used to tell me that hope was tricky like water. Somehow it always found a way in.

* * *

WE STAYED UP LATE that night, talking through the logistics of the plan. The realities of the Fold complicated everythingโ€”where and how we would enter, whether or not it was even possible for me to cloak myself, let alone the others, how to isolate the Darkling and get the students clear. We had no blasting powders, so weโ€™d have to make our own. I also wanted to ensure that the others had some way out of the Fold if anything happened to me.

We left early the next morning and crossed back through Dva Stolba to retrieve theย Bitternย from the quarry. It was strange to see it sitting where weโ€™d left it, tucked safely away like a pigeon in the eaves.

โ€œSaints,โ€ said Adrik as we clambered into the hulls. โ€œIs that my blood?โ€

The stain was nearly as big as he was. Weโ€™d all been so tired and beaten after our long escape from the Spinning Wheel that no one had even thought to deal with it.

โ€œYou made the mess,โ€ said Zoya. โ€œYou clean it up.โ€

โ€œNeed two hands to swab,โ€ Adrik retorted, taking a place at the sails instead.

Adrik seemed to relish Zoyaโ€™s taunts over Nadiaโ€™s constant fussing. Iโ€™d been relieved to learn that he could still summon, though it would take some time for him to be able to control strong currents with just one arm.ย Baghra could teach him.ย The thought came at me before I remembered that was no longer possible. I could almost hear her voice in my head:ย Should I cut off your other arm? Then youโ€™d have something to whine about. Do it again and do it better.ย What would she have made of all of this? What would she have made of Mal? I pushed the thought away. Weโ€™d never know, and there was no time for mourning.

Once we were in the air, the Squallers set a gentle pace and I used the time to practice bending the light as I camouflaged the ship from below.

The journey took only a few hours, and we landed in a marshy pasture west of Caryeva. The town was the site of the summer horse sales every year. It wasnโ€™t known for anything but its racing track and its breeding stables, and even without the war, this late in the year, it would have been all but deserted. The missive to the Apparat had proposed that we meet at the racecourse.

Tamar and Harshaw would scout the track on foot to make sure we werenโ€™t walking into a trap. If anything felt wrong, theyโ€™d circle back to meet us, and weโ€™d decide what to do from there. I didnโ€™t think the Apparat would turn us over to the Darkling, but there was also the possibility that heโ€™d struck some kind of new bargain with the Shu Han or Fjerda.

We were a day early, and the pasture was the perfect place to practice cloaking moving targets. Misha insisted on being first.

โ€œIโ€™m smaller,โ€ he said. โ€œThat will make it easier.โ€ He ran out into the center of the field.

I raised my hands, gave a twist of my wrists, and Misha disappeared.

Harshaw gave an appreciative whistle.

โ€œCan you see me?โ€ Misha shouted. As soon as he started waving, the light

around him rippled and his skinny forearms appeared as if suspended in space.

Focus.ย They vanished.

โ€œMisha,โ€ instructed Mal, โ€œrun toward us.โ€

He appeared, then disappeared again as I adjusted the light.

โ€œI can see him from the side,โ€ Tolya called from across the pasture.

I blew out a breath. I had to think about this more carefully. Disguising the ship had been easier because Iโ€™d only been altering the reflection of the light from below. Now I had to think about every angle.

โ€œBetter!โ€ said Tolya.

Zoya yelped. โ€œThat little brat just kicked me.โ€ โ€œSmart kid,โ€ said Mal.

I lifted a brow. โ€œSmarter than some.โ€ He had the good grace to blush.

I spent the rest of the afternoon vanishing one, then two, then five Grisha at a time in the field.

It was a different kind of work, but Baghraโ€™s lessons still applied. If I concentrated too hard on projecting my power, variables overwhelmed me. But if I thought about the light being everywhere, if I didnโ€™t try to prod it and just let it bend, it got much easier.

I thought of the times Iโ€™d seen the Darkling use his power to blind soldiers in a battle, taking on multiple enemies at once. It was easy for him, natural.ย I know things about power that you can barely guess at.

I practiced that night, then started up again the next morning after Tamar and Harshaw set out, but my concentration kept faltering. With more marksmen, our attack on the Darklingโ€™s skiff might actually stand a chance. What would be waiting at the racecourse? The priest himself? No one at all? Iโ€™d imagined a serf army, protected by three amplifiers, marching beneath the banner of the firebird. That wasnโ€™t the war we were waging anymore.

โ€œI can see him!โ€ Zoya singsonged at me. And sure enough, Tolyaโ€™s big shape was flickering in and out as he jogged to my right.

I dropped my hands. โ€œLetโ€™s break for a bit,โ€ I suggested.

Nadia and Adrik unfurled one of the sails so she could help him learn to manage updraft, and Zoya sprawled lazily on the deck to offer less than helpful critique.

Meanwhile, David and Genya bent their heads over one of his notebooks, trying to figure out where they could extract the components for a batch ofย lumiya. It turned out Genya didnโ€™t just have a gift for poisons. Her talents had always lain somewhere between Corporalnik and Materialnik, but I wondered what she might have become, what path she might have chosen, if not for the Darklingโ€™s influence. Mal and Misha headed to the far side of the field with arms full of pinecones and set them along the fence as targets so Misha could learn to shoot.

That left me and Tolya with nothing to do but worry and wait. He sat down beside me on one of the hulls, legs dangling over.

โ€œDo you want to practice some more?โ€ he asked. โ€œI probably should.โ€

A long moment passed and then he said, โ€œCan you do it? When the time comes?โ€

I was eerily reminded of Mal asking me if I could bring down the firebird. โ€œYou donโ€™t think the plan will work.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t think it matters.โ€ โ€œYou donโ€™tโ€”โ€

โ€œIf you defeat the Darkling, the Fold will remain.โ€

I kicked my heels against the hull. โ€œI can deal with the Fold,โ€ I said. โ€œMy power will make crossings possible. We can eliminate the volcra.โ€ I didnโ€™t like to think about that. As monstrous as they were, the volcra had once been human. I leaned back and studied Tolyaโ€™s face. โ€œYouโ€™re not convinced.โ€

โ€œYou asked me once why I didnโ€™t let you die in the chapel, why I let Mal go to you. Maybe there was a reason you both lived. Maybe this is it.โ€

โ€œIt was a supposed Saint who started all of this, Tolya.โ€ โ€œAnd a Saint will end it.โ€

He climbed down from the hull and looked up at me. โ€œI know you donโ€™t share the same faith as Tamar and I,โ€ he said, โ€œbut regardless of how this ends, Iโ€™m thankful our beliefs led us to you.โ€

With that, he walked across the field to join Mal and Misha.

Whether by chance or fate, I was grateful for Tolya and Tamarโ€™s friendship. And if I was honest, I envied their faith. If I could believe in some divine purpose, it might make the tough decisions a bit easier.

I wasnโ€™t sure if our plan would succeed, and even if it did, there were too many uncertainties. If we managed to defeat the Darkling, what would happen to his shadow soldiers? And what of Nikolai? What if killing the Darkling also meant killing him? Should we be trying to capture the Darkling instead? If we survived, Mal would need to go into hiding; his life would be at risk if his true nature was discovered.

The sound of hoofbeats approached. Nadia and I climbed up onto the captainโ€™s platform for a better view, and as the party came into sight, my heart sank.

โ€œMaybe there are more back at the racecourse,โ€ Nadia suggested.

โ€œMaybe,โ€ I said, though I didnโ€™t believe it.

I quickly counted twelve soldiers. As they drew nearer, I saw they were all young, most with sun tattoos on their faces. Ruby was among them, her green eyes and blond braid distinctive, and I spotted Vladim with two other bearded men I recognized from the Priestguards.

I hopped down from the platform and went to greet them. When the party spotted me, they slipped from their horses and each dropped to one knee, heads bowed.

โ€œUgh,โ€ said Zoya. โ€œThis again.โ€

I cast her a warning look, though Iโ€™d had the exact same thought. Iโ€™d nearly forgotten how much I dreaded the burden of Sainthood. But I took on the mantle, playing my part.

โ€œRise,โ€ I said, and when they did, I gestured Vladim forward. โ€œIs this all of you?โ€

He nodded.

โ€œAnd what excuse does the Apparat send?โ€

He swallowed. โ€œNone. The pilgrims say daily prayers for your safety and for the destruction of the Fold. He claims that your last command was for him to watch over your flock.โ€

โ€œAnd my plea for aid?โ€

Ruby shook her head. โ€œThe only reason we knew that you and Nikolai Lantsov had requested help was because a monk loyal to you retrieved the message from the Church of Sankt Lukin.โ€

โ€œSo how do you come to be here?โ€

Vladim smiled and those absurd dimples appeared in his cheeks again. He exchanged a glance with Ruby.

โ€œWe escaped,โ€ she said.

Iโ€™d known the Apparat wasnโ€™t to be trusted, and yet some part of me had hoped he might offer me more than prayers. But Iโ€™d told him to tend to my followers, to keep them from harm, and they were certainly safer in the White Cathedral than marching into the Fold. The Apparat would do what he did best: wait. When the dust cleared, either I would have defeated the Darkling or found my martyrdom. Either way, men would still take up arms in my name. The Apparatโ€™s empire of the faithful would rise.

I laid my hands on Vladimโ€™s and Rubyโ€™s shoulders. โ€œThank you for your loyalty. I hope you wonโ€™t be sorry for it.โ€

They bowed their heads and murmured, โ€œSankta Alina.โ€

โ€œLetโ€™s move,โ€ I said. โ€œYouโ€™re a big enough group that you may have attracted attention, and those tattoos canโ€™t have helped.โ€

โ€œWhere are we going?โ€ asked Ruby, pulling up her scarf to hide her tattoo. โ€œInto the Fold.โ€

I saw the new soldiers shift uneasily. โ€œTo fight?โ€ she asked. โ€œTo travel,โ€ Mal replied.

No army. No allies. We had only three more days until we were to face the Darkling. We would take our chances, and if we failed, there would be no more options. I would murder the only person Iโ€™d ever loved and who had ever loved me. Iโ€™d dive back into battle wearing his bones.

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