Chapter no 39

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

EVERY DAY, I GOT UP REALLY EARLY AND HOBBLED over to

my truck that was sitting in the garage. I backed it up into the driveway. There was a whole universe waiting to be discovered in a pickup truck. Sitting in the driverโ€™s seat made everything seem possible. It was strange to feel those moments of optimism. Strange and beautiful.

Turning on the radio and just sitting there was my version of praying.

My mom came out one morning and took a picture of me. โ€œWhere are you going to go?โ€ she asked.

โ€œTo school,โ€ I said.

โ€œNo,โ€ she said. โ€œThatโ€™s not what I meant. The first time you get to drive that thing, where are you going to take it?โ€

โ€œThe desert,โ€ I said. I didnโ€™t tell her I wanted to go out and look at all the stars.

โ€œBy yourself?โ€ โ€œYup.โ€ I said.

I knew she wanted to ask me if I was making any new friends at school.

But she didnโ€™t. And then her eyes fell on my cast. โ€œWhoโ€™s Ileana?โ€ โ€œSome girl.โ€

โ€œIs she pretty?โ€

โ€œToo pretty for me, Mom.โ€ โ€œSilly boy.โ€

โ€œYeah, silly boy.โ€

That night I had a bad dream. I was driving down a street in my pickup. Ileana was sitting right next to me. I looked over and smiled at her. I didnโ€™t see him, Dante, standing in the middle of the road. I couldnโ€™t stop. I couldnโ€™t stop. When I woke up, I was drenched in sweat.

In the morning, as I sat in my truck and drank a cup of coffee, my mom came out of the house. She sat on the steps of the porch. She patted the step next to her. She watched me as I awkwardly got down from my truck. Sheโ€™d stopped hovering.

I made my way toward her and sat next to her on the front steps. โ€œCasts come off next week,โ€ she said.

I smiled. โ€œYeah.โ€

โ€œThen therapy,โ€ she said. โ€œThen driving lessons,โ€ I said.

โ€œYour fatherโ€™s looking forward to teaching you.โ€ โ€œYou lost the coin toss?โ€

She laughed. โ€œBe patient with him, okay?โ€

โ€œNot a problem, Mom.โ€ I knew that she wanted to talk to me about something. I could always tell.

โ€œYou miss Dante?โ€

I looked at her. โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€ โ€œHow can you not know?โ€

โ€œWell, look, Mom, itโ€™s, well, Dante, heโ€™s like you. I mean, he hovers sometimes.โ€

She didnโ€™t say anything.

โ€œI like being alone, Mom. I know you donโ€™t get that about me, but I do.โ€

She nodded and it seemed like she was really listening. โ€œYou were screaming his name last night,โ€ she said.

โ€œOh,โ€ I said. โ€œIt was just a dream.โ€ โ€œBad?โ€

โ€œYeah.โ€

โ€œYou want to talk about it?โ€ โ€œNot really.โ€

She gave me that nudge, the cโ€™mon humor your mom nudge. โ€œMom? Do you ever have bad dreams?โ€

โ€œNot often.โ€

โ€œNot like me and Dad.โ€

โ€œYou and your father, youโ€™re fighting your own private wars.โ€

โ€œMaybe so. I hate my dreams.โ€ I could feel my mom listening to me. She was always there. I hated her for that. And loved her. โ€œI was driving my truck and it was raining. I didnโ€™t see him standing in the middle of the road. I couldnโ€™t stop. I couldnโ€™t.โ€

โ€œDante?โ€

โ€œYeah.โ€

She squeezed my arm.

โ€œMom, sometimes I wished I smoked.โ€ โ€œIโ€™ll take the truck away.โ€

โ€œWell, at least I know whatโ€™s going to happen to me when I break the rules.โ€

โ€œDo you think Iโ€™m mean?โ€

โ€œI think youโ€™re strict. Too strict sometimes.โ€ โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€

โ€œNo youโ€™re not.โ€ I clutched at my crutches. โ€œSomeday, Iโ€™m going to have to break some of your rules, Mom.โ€

โ€œI know,โ€ she said. โ€œTry to do it behind my back, will you?โ€™ โ€œYou can bet on that, Mom.โ€

We both sat there and laughed. Like Dante and I used to do. โ€œIโ€™m sorry about your bad dreams, Ari.โ€

โ€œDid Dad hear?โ€ โ€œYes.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€

โ€œYou canโ€™t help what you dream.โ€

โ€œI know. I didnโ€™t mean to run over him.โ€ โ€œYou didnโ€™t. It was just a dream.โ€

I didnโ€™t tell her that I hadnโ€™t been paying attention. Iโ€™d been looking at a girl when I should have been driving. And thatโ€™s why I ran over Dante. I didnโ€™t tell her that.

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