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Chapter no 41 – LUCY

Listen for the Lie

Ben doesnโ€™t look particularly concerned about me killing him.

Or surprised, actually.

He cocks his head, his face betraying nothing. โ€œYouโ€™re thinking about killing me.โ€ Itโ€™s not so much a question as a calm repeat of what Iโ€™ve just said.

โ€œI do it all the time.โ€ I donโ€™t know why Iโ€™ve decided to tell all my secrets to the absolute worst person to confess them to, but here we are. He did say that he wanted the truth from me. This is one I can actually give him. โ€œWith everyone. I think about killing them.โ€

โ€œLikeโ€ฆโ€ He shifts, and then pauses, and I see his gaze flick briefly to the bag by the door, which has the microphone. He wants to ask whether he can record this.

He doesnโ€™t. Heโ€™s good enough at this to know when the answer will be

no.

โ€œLike intrusive thoughts,โ€ I say. โ€œI canโ€™t stop them. I pick a weapon, and

I imagine killing people.โ€

โ€œYou pick a weapon.โ€ He speaks slowly. โ€œWhateverโ€™s around. I get creative.โ€

His lips twitch. Maybe in amusement, maybe in fear. I donโ€™t know which one Iโ€™m rooting for.

โ€œWhich weapon did you choose in here?โ€

โ€œThe glass first.โ€ I point to it. โ€œThat wouldnโ€™t kill you, though. So, the knife.โ€ I touch my own throat. โ€œThen the lamp.โ€

โ€œTheย lamp?โ€

โ€œIโ€™d bash it against your head.โ€

โ€œI think itโ€™s too heavy for you to get enough momentum to do that.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not always realistic.โ€ โ€œSure.โ€

โ€œAnd suffocating you with a pillow. Later. When youโ€™re asleep.โ€

His neutral expression cracks with that one. He takes in a slow breath. โ€œThat oneโ€™s realistic,โ€ he says, his voice strained.

โ€œMaybe not. You could wake up and fight me off.โ€ He lifts an eyebrow. โ€œMaybe.โ€

โ€œDepends on how long it takes you to wake up,โ€ I say.

โ€œAnd how strong you are.โ€ Heโ€™s staring at me with a look I canโ€™t identify, until he shifts slightly in his chair, and I see it. Heโ€™s turned on.

I stand and walk to him. I hike up my dress as I lower onto his lap, straddling him.

I put both my hands around his neck. โ€œOr I could just strangle you right now.โ€

He meets my gaze. His breathing is ragged.

I take one hand off his neck to unzip his pants. I move my underwear to one side. He sucks in a breath as I raise my hips, and then lower them so he slides inside me.

I put both hands around his neck again, squeezing tighter this time.

I lean closer, my lips against his ear. โ€œYou took Paigeโ€™s key back. How long do you think it would be until they discovered your body?โ€

He makes a strangled noise. I grip harder, grinding my hips against his. โ€œIt would be a good ending, donโ€™t you think? Podcaster gets murdered

by the woman everyone thought he was going to exonerate? People would remember you forever. The guy who solved the case, but he got killed while fucking the murderer.โ€

I lean back to look at him. His chin is tilted back, his face red. โ€œTighter, tighter!โ€ Savvy cheers.

Benโ€™s body jerks, another strangled noise escaping from his throat. He goes still.

I slowly let go of his neck.

He lets out a whoosh of air. His gaze doesnโ€™t leave the ceiling for several seconds as he breathes heavily.

He finally meets my gaze, his face still flushed.

I lean forward. When I speak, my lips brush against his. โ€œMaybe Iโ€™ll kill you later tonight.โ€

He smiles.

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