I lay on my back, eyes closed, and my hand resting on the bed beside me, the space still cool from where Ash’s body had been.
After confirming what I already knew—that the Rot had been stopped— Ash had drawn me back into the bedchamber, hopefully before anyone spotted me standing out there, completely nude.
That wouldn’t make for a great first impression as Queen. The Rot had stopped.
Lasania would be saved—well, at least for now. There was still Kolis and…whatever I might have done to the kingdom during my Ascension, but the Rot would not be its destruction.
I truly hadn’t failed. I’d ended the Rot.
A small laugh bubbled out of me as my fingers curled into the sheet. Ash
was currently out in the hall, speaking with Rhain, who had also swung by to check on us. Instead of threatening the god’s life like he’d done with Nektas,
Ash had stepped out into the hall, likely to assure Rhain—and therefore
everyone else—that I was not only okay but also knew exactly who I was.
Ash had only been gone a handful of seconds, not even a minute, and I missed him.
Which was silly.
But it was a good kind of silly.
Opening my eyes, I rolled onto my side and stared at the closed doors. I didn’t want to get out of bed again. Despite what Ash had said about us having time, I had a feeling I would have to face the reality of, well… everything that existed beyond those doors if I rose again—whether naked or clothed.
I wasn’t ready to stop being happily silly, with the knowledge that the Rot had been ended. Where I was just a wife, and my only problem was missing my husband. I could spend an eternity as that.
But I knew I couldn’t. At least not now.
Once I got up and handled things, then I could have that eternity.
I would have it.
My gaze wandered to the small nightstand. There was a clear pitcher, and two glasses turned upside down. Reaching for the water, I stopped, instead focusing on the small wooden box.
Glancing at the door, my curiosity got the best of me, and I rose onto my elbow and picked up the container. It had small silver hinges and was surprisingly lightweight, almost as if there was nothing inside it. Sitting up, the thin fur blanket pooled at my waist as I traced the delicate lines carved into the lid, my finger following the etchings. The markings were the vine
scrollwork I often saw on the tunics of those in the Shadowlands and the doors to the throne room.
Who’d made this box? Ash? Possibly his father? Nektas? Someone else? Whoever it was, the time it must have taken to craft such intricate lines made me think it was something one would use to store important items.
Knowing I was being a complete snoop, I cracked open the lid. My lips parted as I peered inside. The realm seemed to hold its breath for a moment. As did I. A slight tremor went through my hands as a mixture of disbelief and elation swept through me.
I didn’t know what I’d expected to find, but it wasn’t—in a hundred years
—the answer to where all the hair ties had gone after Ash unbound my hair.
Now, I knew.
They were all in this box. I didn’t know why that delighted me so. Why it felt as important as learning the Rot had been stopped. But there was no suppressing the wide smile that spread across my face. For there to be so many stowed away—about a dozen of them—it had to mean that he had been keeping the ties since the very first time he gently unwound the braid in my hair.
Even when he was angry.
Actually, I knew why this moved me so.
A Primal of Death had been collecting my hair ties, treating them as if they were prized possessions—treasure.
It was such a small token, something most probably wouldn’t even think twice about. But these little hair ties had belonged to me, and Ash had sought to keep them close to him—to keep a part of me close to him.
A rush of tears hit my eyes as I quietly closed the lid and returned the box to where I’d found it. I lay back down, blinking the dampness from my lashes.
Those hair ties…they were further proof that Ash had been falling in love with me long before my life was truly on the line—long before I’d been willing to admit that I’d been falling in love with him. They were further proof that our hearts, our souls were truly one.
 |
When Ash returned from speaking with Rhain, he immediately joined me. Bracing himself with one knee on the bed, he caught the back of my head and brought his down to mine. His lips tasted of desire as he claimed my mouth in a languid and tender kiss. Every touch of his lips sent shivers down my spine.
“I think you missed me,” I said when we parted. I felt a little breathless. He trailed his fingers across my cheek. “I did.”
Thinking about the collection of hair ties, I smiled against his mouth. I didn’t doubt for a second that he spoke the truth.
“Did anyone see me naked?” I asked. “Lucky for them, no,”
I shook my head. “Is everything okay, then? With Rhain and everyone?”
“It is.” A lock of hair fell across his face. “Rhain was a little concerned after Nektas told him I threatened his life.”
I grinned.
“I have a feeling that amuses you to no end.” “It does.” I nodded for extra emphasis.
“Knew it.” Ash kissed me again and then pulled back. He cupped my cheek, tilting my head back. His gaze met mine.
“Your eyes are beautiful, liessa.”
Feeling my chest warm, I smiled. “Thank you.”
Ash settled onto the bed beside me. His hands roamed over my body, running down my sides and then back up over my breasts. I moaned softly, aching for him.
“I still have things I want to talk about.” His hand slid over my hip, cupping my rear. He tugged me closer to him. “And you’re being
distracting.”
“Me?” I shivered as the tips of my breasts grazed the cool hardness of his chest.
“Yes, you.” His fingers pressed into the flesh of my ass.
“You’re the one who kissed me,” I reminded him, drawing in his fresh, citrusy scent as I worked a leg between his. “And you’re also the one groping my ass.”
“That’s only because I don’t want your ass to get lonely.” He nipped at my lower lip. “I’m just being thoughtful.”
I laughed, loving this rare, playful side of him. “So incredibly thoughtful.”
He murmured an agreement that was lost in the sigh he drew from me as his lips found mine once more. This kiss was just as slow and sweet as the
one before, an unhurried dance that spoke volumes of love and longing. We
were both breathless this time when our lips parted, our hearts pounding. “Remember when I said I needed to tell you several things?” he said,
tucking some strands of my hair back.
I nodded.
A moment passed, and when he spoke again, there was a change in his
tone—a richer, fuller timbre I wasn’t sure I would’ve picked up on before. “I love you, Sera.”
My lips immediately split into the same wide, goofy smile that seeing the hair ties had provoked.
“And you love me.”
“I do.” I wiggled an inch closer.
His stare caught and held mine. “You’re my wife.”
“Hearing you say, ‘I love you,’ has become my favorite three words of any I’ve heard you speak,” I told him. “’You’re my wife’ is a close second.
Or maybe they are tied?” I wrinkled my nose. “No. I love you is my favorite.”
“Stop being cute.” He kissed the bridge of my nose. “It’s also distracting.”
I grinned, flattening my hand against his chest. “Sounds like that is one of those you problems you’re continuously having.”
“One you’re currently not helping with,” he pointed out, letting go of my hair to place his hand atop mine. It was his left and my right. Our imprints touched, and I could’ve sworn our skin hummed. “I’m your husband,” he repeated. “You’re my wife. And I know I don’t have a whole lot of
experience in this, not even secondhand…”
Neither did I. Even though my mother had remarried, their marriage had been more of a necessity. I wasn’t even sure she and King Ernald loved each other. Maybe they simply tolerated one another.
If I were honest with myself, my stepfather carried more than just a fondness for my mother but she…she was still in love with my father.
That made my heart ache as I focused on Ash.
“And even though I never allowed myself to consider what it would be
like to be in love with another and be married, I know what kind of marriage I want.” Ash drew his lower lip between his teeth. “Or I know what kind of marriage I want with you.”
My heart started doing that skipping thing again. “I want us to trust each other,” he began.
“I trust you,” I told him. “Irrevocably.”
A small smile appeared, softening his features. “I know, but this…I think this is a different kind of trust, one that allows us to share everything with each other. The easy and the hard—especially the hard.” Only a faint glow of eather pulsed behind his pupils. “The kind of trust where we know we can be honest and feel comfortable knowing that anything we share will not change how we see each other.”
My stomach hollowed as my gaze fell to where his hand still rested atop mine. I looked at the imprint.
“We have that kind of trust already, don’t we?” Ash asked, his breath cool against my forehead.
I nodded, my throat thickening. “We do.”
“So, you know that, no matter what, I will always see you as being as strong and brave as you are clever and fierce.” His fingers pressed between mine. “That my attraction, my need and want of you, will never be lessened, no matter what happens.” He paused. “Or what has happened.”
My lower lip trembled, and the edges of my fangs scraped against the back of my lips as I pressed my mouth closed.
“I know who you are, Sera, and what you mean to me. And that is everything because you are everything to me.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And that will never change.”
A shudder went through me.
“It would be impossible for that to happen.” He shifted so his forehead rested against mine. “Because even if we weren’t mates of the heart, what you made me feel from the moment you stood in the Shadow Temple years ago to every moment between then and now, would’ve still made me fall in
love with you. Your courage and strength, your beauty and utter fearlessness, your humor, and most of all, that softness of yours you share with me. It
would’ve made sure my kardia somehow came back. I believe that—I know
that—because you’re the first person I have ever felt has truly accepted me, no matter what I’ve done in my past or what has been done to me. You’re the first to refuse to allow any more drops of blood to be inked into my flesh.
You were the first to ever make me feel anything that mattered,” he swore. “You’re…you’re simply my first, Sera, and you will be my last.”
My eyes stung with tears. “You’re going to make me cry.”
“I’m not trying to.” His hand squeezed mine. “But it’s okay if you do. I wouldn’t think less of you if you did. There isn’t anything that could make me think less of you.”
“I know,” I whispered hoarsely. And I did. The reasonable, logical, and unfortunately very small part of my mind knew. “And I know what you’re getting at. I do. You’re talking about my time with Kolis.”
“I’m talking about things in general,” he said. “And about that.”
“It was nothing,” I said in a rush, my insides twisting, causing my breath to catch.
It was nothing.
Veses had said the same thing. She had spoken the same lie.
Ash’s lips brushed the curve of my cheek, and then he pulled his head back a few inches. His hand left mine. A heartbeat passed, and I felt the tips of his fingers on my chin. He tilted my head back. “I want you to know that when you’re ready to talk about everything, whether it’s nothing or not, I’ll be waiting. I’ll be ready.”
I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly I saw white for a few seconds. A flood of words crawled up my throat, but a wall of emotion and sheer will as strong as shadowstone choked them off.
Veses had lied. I didn’t.
I wasn’t.
“By the way,” Ash said, his gruff voice reaching me. “Rhain is going to gather some food for us. He’s positive you’re starving.”
Gods, the way he’d changed the subject and the moment he chose to… I loved this man.
I would always love him.
Counting the beats between each breath, I opened my eyes. “That’s
nice…” I cleared my throat. “That’s nice of him. Which is kind of strange, isn’t it? Rhain being nice.”
Ash arched a brow. “Rhain is known as one of the kindest gods in the Shadowlands.”
“I’ll have to take your word for that.” My eyes widened when I saw an icy hardness creeping into his features. Shit. “I mean, Rhain had a reason not to be all that welcoming toward me.”
“I’m not sure I agree with that.” “Rhain is loyal to you—”
Eather seeped from behind his pupils, stirring the energy inside me. “He is loyal to you,” he stated in a low growl. “His Queen.”
“Okay, he is loyal to both of us,” I amended, half-afraid for Rhain’s safety. The other half of me was, well, kind of aroused by Ash’s protectiveness. “But before, he was loyal to you. And since I had been planning to kill you, his initial response to me was completely
understandable.”
Ash said nothing to that, but I could practically see him plotting out his next…conversation with Rhain.
“Don’t say anything to him about it,” I stated.
“I won’t.”
“I’m serious. If he still harbors any ill feelings toward me,”—which I truly didn’t think he did—“or if anyone does, I will handle it. I need to.
Especially if I’m going to be their Queen.”
“If?” Ash chuckled. “Liessa, you are their Queen.”
My stomach dipped. Gods, I was having a really hard time processing that.
“You’re right, though. You need to handle it,” he said as he picked up my hand. “I won’t say anything. “
“Wow,” I murmured, surprised.
“But if you handling it doesn’t actually handle it? And they still show you disrespect?” Wisps of eather churned through his eyes. “I will fucking destroy them.”
I blinked.
“No matter who they are,” he promised.
My lips twitched. I didn’t think smiling would help, nor would telling him that his fierceness when it came to me had to be more potent than radek wine. For once, I listened to that voice of reason.
“Speaking of Rhain,” I said after a moment. “Thought projection? That’s a nifty talent of his I was completely unaware of.”
“Many don’t know he can do that. You weren’t told about—”
“There was no reason for me to know then,” I interjected, understanding that sharing that kind of knowledge with me, who in the past had sought to betray Ash and hadn’t shown much interest in ruling the Shadowlands
alongside him, would’ve been a risk. “So, all those times I could’ve sworn
Rhain was communicating with you, even though I didn’t hear him speak, he was?”
One side of Ash’s lips quirked. “He probably was.”
Smiling, I watched him trail his finger along the golden swirl. The imprint.
The direction of my thoughts immediately shifted as it occurred to me that perhaps it wasn’t me who had blessed our union. Maybe it had been the Fates. Or perhaps it happened because we were mates of the heart.
And maybe…maybe the fact that such a thing was real, meant that what I believed about my parents was also true. It explained why the agony of my father’s loss embittered my mother so deeply and how their union was important since it brought me into—I gasped, my head jerking up.
“What?” Concern filled his eyes.
“Holland saw this. He must have. All of this. Remember when he and Penellaphe came, and you were off to the side talking to her while Holland and I spoke? You asked me what he said, and I—well, I lied.”
“Shocker,” he murmured, the eather in his eyes twinkling. It struck me then what about his voice was different. It was lighter.
He was lighter.
My chest burned with emotion, causing Ash’s brow to pinch. The gods knew I’d probably just projected that emotion at his face. I had to suck it back down to speak without crying all over him. “Anyway, he said that
broken thread of mine was unexpected and that fate was as ever-changing as the mind and heart. He was speaking of your heart. He told me that love is
more powerful than the Arae can imagine. It was like he was trying to tell me
not to give up hope.” My nose scrunched. “Because he knew…he knew you could love me.”
“He likely knew I was already in love with you, Sera.”
Hearing that made my heart skip. “And he couldn’t have told us any of this?”
“I think that would be obliterating that fine line he likes to walk,” he replied, lips turning up.
I rolled my eyes. “He could’ve at least been a little less vague. Like, I don’t know, randomly mention mates of the heart surpassing a kardia or—” Feeling the essence stir, I stopped what would surely be a lengthy tirade. “Okay. I’m just not going to think about that.”
His smile spread.
“So.” I drew out the word. “Why do you think you had the dream?” He raised a brow.
“What? I mean, you had a vision. That’s kind of important.” I sat straight.
“Do you think it was the mates of the heart thing? I…” I trailed off, letting that odd sense of knowing fully form without interruption.
It was the one thing more powerful than the so-called Arae. It was that unexpected thread.
Unpredictable.
It was the unknown. The unwritten.
Powerful.
It was something not even the Fates dared to predict or control.
The only thing that could disrupt fate. It couldn’t be found.
It could only be accepted.
It was even more powerful than what coursed through the veins of the Primals and their creators. Equally awe-inspiring and terrifying in its selfishness. It could snap a thread unexpectedly and prematurely.
It could extend a thread of life by sheer will, becoming a piece of pure magic that could not be extinguished.
It was true love of the heart and soul.
“It is because we are…we are heartmates.” I nodded smugly. “I feel very clever for answering my own question.”
“You mean figuring out the very obvious answer?” he suggested dryly.
I swung at him again, and like before, he caught my wrist. “Fuck,” he groaned, pushing me onto my back and bracing his weight on his forearms as he leaned over me. “I love you.”
There was so much we needed to deal with—so much uncertainty. There was Kolis. The other Primals. All the other stuff that kept popping into my head whenever it went quiet. The things those unknown voices that I knew were as old as this realm said to me while I was in stasis. What I saw. What I knew. A lot of it was disjointed, making little sense, but I suspected all the scattered pieces would come together if given time. Then there was how my…my Ascension affected Iliseeum and the mortal realm—the latter something I was almost afraid to ask about because I suddenly recalled the blast of power that had left me, hitting the skies above Lasania. There was
Sotoria’s soul, and the plans surrounding it—things that left me uncomfortable.
Plans I was empowered to change.
But right now, the only thing that mattered was Ash. Us. This miracle of a second chance. The first opportunity for both of us to truly be able to live and have complete control of our lives.
“Say it again,” I demanded.
Ash kissed my brow. “I love you, Sera.”
The essence hummed, as did my heart, my soul. “Again,” I whispered. Laughing, Ash cupped my cheeks and kissed me. “I love you, liessa.” I clasped the back of his head, feeling my chest swell. “Show me.”
He did.
There were no more confessions or whispered truths. We came together once more, but this time…this time, we made love.
