“Are you sure you’re well?” Orphine asked, glancing at me as we walked toward the stairs the following morning.
This was the second time she’d asked, and both times she posed the question, I had been surprised. “I’m fine.”
Orphine said nothing to my response, but doubt settled into her features. She didn’t believe me.
I was tired and not in the greatest mood. I’d barely slept the night before, and I wasn’t sure if that had to do with being unconscious for three days or my conversation with Nyktos.
Or how I kept looking at the adjoining door, wondering why Nyktos suddenly no longer believed he needed to keep me within arm’s reach.
And hating myself a little for even wondering that. But I was fine.
Empty. Blank.
Which was perfect. I had plans. Something I’d decided in the midst of my marathon pacing session during the night. I needed to discuss traveling to Irelone, and I would do so with the utmost maturity and detachment.
If I could handle my mother, I could handle Nyktos.
The embers in my chest vibrated as we reached the first-floor hall, but I hesitated in the shadowy alcove. The doors were ajar. Before, I wouldn’t have thought twice about walking straight in. Aware that Orphine was watching me, I raised a hand to knock. Something Bele had said intruded in that moment. If Nyktos didn’t want people to talk, then he would make sure no one found anything to discuss, right? But I really—
“You can come in,” Nyktos’s voice rang out from within the office. I froze, my hand suspended in the air.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Nyktos added after a moment.
Lowering my hand, I ignored the way Orphine stared at me and briefly closed my eyes, silently mouthing a string of curses. Then I opened the
door.
Rhain stood to Nyktos’s right, and he sat behind his desk, closing one of the Books of the Dead. His hair was swept back, and I thought…he looked paler around the corners of his eyes and his mouth. There were also shadows beneath his eyes as his muted gaze swept over my thick braid, vest, and tailored leggings like thick tights. That was all I let myself notice as I walked forward, but something I shouldn’t be feeling blossomed at the sight of the paleness and those shadows. Concern.
“I’ve never known you to knock.” Nyktos’s gaze rose to mine, and the glow of eather pulsed faintly behind his pupils.
“I didn’t want to interrupt,” I explained. Rhain stared at me.
“That is also not something I’ve seen you worry about in the past.” Nyktos leaned back in his chair. He wore a dark gray tunic, though one without the silver brocade.
“Well, I’ve learned to knock,” I replied. The corners of his mouth tightened.
I clasped my hands together, reminding myself to breathe deeply, slowly, and not to, as Rhain had so succinctly put it, lose my shit. “I hoped I could have a moment of your time.” I peeked at Rhain. He continued staring at me as if he’d never seen me before. “If not, I can come back.”
“Are you feeling unwell?” Rhain blurted out.
“I feel quite fine,” I told him. “And I don’t know why everyone keeps asking me that.”
“Keeps?” Nyktos questioned.
“Orphine asked if I was fine about two dozen times,” I said, exaggerating.
“Probably because you’re being…” Rhain frowned. “Polite.”
My expression mirrored his. “I don’t know why that would make anyone think I’m unwell.”
“Have you met yourself?” Rhain countered.
Nyktos glanced at him, and the god sighed. “I’m heading out to the Rise.” He bowed, and then with one last curious look in my direction, he left us.
Alone.
Nyktos watched me as he remained reclined in his chair, one hand lifting to curl around his chin.
I sat on the edge of the seat before his desk. “I won’t take up much of your time—”
“You can have all the time you want, Seraphena.”
Seraphena.
Gods, I wanted to hate how he curled his tongue around my name, making it sound like both a wicked whisper and a reverent prayer.
I kept my hands clasped. “Thank you, but I don’t think I will need that much. I’m sure you’re busy.”
He drew his thumb across his lower lip, his gaze still fastened to mine. I didn’t think he’d blinked once. “What is it that you want that won’t take much time?”
Something about his tone left me a little unsteady. A…softness. “I want to discuss Irelone. I would like to go there as soon as possible. I figured Nektas could travel with me.”
“I’m going with you,” he said, the eather brightening behind his pupils. “I need to hear exactly what Delfai says about the embers to ensure that I can carry out the process of removing them.”
Irritation hummed from deep within. Traveling with Nyktos anywhere was…well, not opportune. And I was confident that Nektas could relay any pertinent details effectively. Still, I squashed my irritation. “Okay.”
He arched a brow. “Okay?” I nodded.
Nyktos’s eyes narrowed slightly as he drew his thumb along his lip once more. “I’m assuming you would like to leave right now.”
“I would.”
“I would like to wait until tomorrow.”
I gritted my teeth. “And why would you like to do that?”
“Because one of Kyn’s draken was spotted this morn over the Black Bay,” he shared, and I tensed. “The draken hasn’t made any move against us. He’s just been circling at the edges of our territory.”
Us. Our.
I squeezed my hands. “What do you think he’s doing?”
“Scouting. Likely seeing how many guards we have on the Rise,” he said, and I tensed even further as he dragged the edge of his fangs across his lip. “And probably trying to get a good look at the armies, which he will not be able to.”
“Do the other Primals not know the size?”
“They only know that I have one, and that it’s sizable. But not even Dorcan knew the exact size,” he answered. “I want to be here just in case my suspicions are wrong.”
“Understandable,” I said. “If the draken attacks, I want to be of aid.” “Of course.”
Now it was my turn to stare in confusion. “Of course? As in you will not demand that I remain back?”
“I have learned not to ask that of you,” he replied. “Or to expect you to stand down when you need to help—when you want to.”
“You’re not worried that I’ll get myself and the embers killed?”
“I worry about that every waking second,” he said. “But I’ve also learned that it’s something I will need to deal with.” He shifted, straightening in his chair. “Besides, the other deal you made, the one in the courtyard, was that you wanted to be of aid. I agreed. That has not changed.”
I blinked rapidly, having figured that all our agreements had been voided. “Then we leave in the morning.”
Nyktos nodded. A moment passed. “Nektas said you knew the woman Delfai was with? Was she the one you spoke about before?”
“It’s Princess Kayleigh—Tavius’s once-betrothed,” I said with a nod. “She should be at Cauldra Manor, in Massene—a village in Irelone, near the capital. I remember her saying it was the Balfour ancestry home. I’m hoping there’s a gateway near.”
He smiled then, a little wider, warmer. “We lucked out with one being so close to Wayfair, but there are none within Irelone that I would trust using. However, we don’t need a gateway. We will shadowstep.”
I started to ask how that would be possible, but then I remembered how he’d taken me from the Great Hall in Wayfair. “So, you’re going to have to knock me out.”
“I will do my best to make sure you feel no pain and that it’s quick,” he assured me. “The only alternative is that we enter through Spessa’s End or Pompay, where the closest gateways to Irelone are, which would be rather time-consuming.”
“It’s fine,” I told him. “I can deal with it.”
“I know you can.” A pause. “You can deal with anything.”
I stilled, once again struck off-kilter by his too-soft tone as he continued to eye me closely, enough to make my skin prickle with
awareness. I was grateful we had nothing else to discuss. I unclasped my hands, beginning to rise—
“Nektas told me you ran into the nymphs on your return from the Vale.”
“We did.” I remained tense in the chair, like a bird perched on a cliff, prepared to take flight. “I’d forgotten about them.”
“You killed one,” he said. “With eather.” I nodded.
“You shouldn’t be able to do that.”
“That’s what Nektas said. The embers…I guess they really are that powerful. But that will soon be something I won’t need to worry about.” I cleared my throat. “I don’t want to keep you—”
“I don’t want you to do this.” Confusion rose once more. “Do what?” “This.”
I waited for more of an explanation. There was none. “I’m going to need you to elaborate.”
One side of his lips curled up. “You don’t need to become someone you’re not.”
The muscles along my spine clenched. “I’m not.”
“You’re being amicable. Understanding. Reserved. Even polite.” He fired off what most would consider admirable traits.
“It’s not an act.”
“I didn’t suggest that it was.”
I frowned. “Then what exactly are you suggesting, Your Highness? Because I’m confused as to why you would now demand that I be…what? More argumentative? Irrational?”
“As I told you before, I quite enjoyed the more…reckless side of your nature.”
I was still on the outside. Inside, however, I trembled.
“But this?” He lowered his hand to the surface of his desk. “This was how you were raised to be, wasn’t it?”
I sucked in a breath.
“Pliable. Submissive. Quiet.” He paused. “Empty.”
A sharp swirl of tingles swept along the nape of my neck as my eyes locked with his—with a gaze that continued to be intense and…and
searching. I gripped the arms of the chair. “You’re trying to read my emotions.”
“Yes,” he confirmed without any hint of shame. “And I feel nothing.” My mouth dried. “So?”
“There hasn’t been one time that I’ve been in your presence for more than a handful of minutes where I haven’t felt you project an emotion, be it joy, desire, or anger,” he said. “Not from the first moment I saw you in the Dark Elms till I tried to slow your breathing beneath the palace.”
I shook, my calm cracking.
“This isn’t you. You have never been like this with me.” His palm flattened against the desk. “Whether it’s because I’ve annoyed you or something else, you have always been yourself. You have more than earned the right to be yourself. To think what you want, feel what you want. That shouldn’t change.”
“It shouldn’t?” I whispered.
“No.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. “No matter what I’ve done to you.”
What he had…? I stopped myself from finishing that thought. “The problem with that is that my feelings could’ve killed me and destroyed the palace.”
“Not your feelings,” he corrected quietly. “What I did to them. What happened is my fault, Sera. Not yours.” His gaze never wavered. “You do not need to change. And as…as selfish as this is, I don’t want you to.”
“I don’t want to be like this,” I whispered before I could stop myself.
Nyktos jerked—actually recoiled—and shadows became visible beneath his skin for a brief second.
My broken nails scraped the chair’s wooden arms, and I focused on my breathing until the abyss that pained whisper had come from was sealed off once more. “But I can’t feel like that ever again. So, we can’t always get what we want.” I rose. “Not even Primals.”
“Sera.” He stood, both hands flat on his desk. “I didn’t—” He winced, air hissing between his clenched teeth as he lifted his right hand from the desk and looked at it. His nostrils flared. “Fuck.”
“What?” My eyes searched his face when he didn’t respond. “What is
it?”
Nyktos turned his hand over so his palm faced me. My lips parted at the
reddish-black slash cutting through a circle seemingly inked into the center
of his hand. “Kolis,” he growled, his eyes filling with vivid streaks of eather. “He’s summoned us.”
 |
I’d never seen so many people in Nyktos’s office at once.
Every single one of his most trusted guards were present, including Aios and Nektas, who’d arrived with the two young draken. Jadis was in her mortal form, nestled against her father’s chest and fast asleep with what appeared to be half her hand in her mouth.
I glanced down at my lap. Somehow, I had ended up seated on the settee with Reaver, who was awake but currently had his diamond-shaped head resting on my knee. I think he’d done it to stop me from repeatedly tapping my foot on the floor.
Part of me also thought maybe he’d sensed my nervousness and was responding to it, which didn’t seem like a normal thing.
My gaze shifted to my bare wrists. The charm was there, invisible to me, but it wouldn’t work outside the Shadowlands. I could be kept in Dalos. “He summoned you before I thought he would,” Nektas said, gently rocking Jadis from where he stood behind Nyktos’s desk. “I figured he’d
take his sweet-ass time.”
“That’s what I’d hoped,” Nyktos said, leaning against the front of his desk, his arms crossed over his chest. Like the last time I’d looked at him, he watched me. Only me.
“Wait. I’m confused,” Ector said. Theon snorted. “No one is surprised.”
Ector ignored him. “Being summoned to Dalos isn’t going to be fun, but getting his permission means crowning her as the Consort sooner rather than later, giving her the protection you’ve been wanting.”
“It does,” Nyktos said. “But it would’ve been preferable to get the embers out of Sera first.”
Aios frowned as she exchanged a look with Bele. “Are you worried that Kolis will be able to sense them in her now that they’ve grown stronger?”
My head cut toward Nyktos then. I hadn’t even thought about that. “Will he?”
“He may be able to sense something that alludes to you being no ordinary godling.” Only a faint glow of eather pulsed behind his pupils. “But if so, that can be explained away.”
“How?”
“Blood,” Nektas answered, rubbing Jadis’s back. One of her tiny feet peeked out from the edge of her blanket. “His blood. If anyone drinks enough of a Primal’s blood, they will give off some Primal vibes until the blood is completely absorbed into their system.”
“Oh.” I wanted to relax at hearing that, but we had a far bigger issue with me coming face-to-face with Kolis.
“So, as long as you play nice with Kolis, he’ll give his permission,” Saion said. “Really nice, Nyktos.”
“Yeah, good luck,” muttered Lailah. I looked to where she stood on the other side of a silent Rhain, her hand resting on the hilt of one of the swords strapped to her hip.
“It isn’t him I’m worried about.” Ector looked pointedly in my direction, and Rhahar gave a low cough.
I thought of what Nektas had shared about Nyktos convincing Kolis that he was loyal. “Exactly how nice will we have to play?”
“You will do whatever Kolis demands of you,” Rhain stated, speaking for the first time. “No matter how distasteful or vile you find it to be. There will only be a few things that Nyktos can refuse on your behalf.”
Pressure settled in my chest. I started to ask what sort of things, but I fell silent at the way Nyktos’s features turned stark. Reaver nudged my hand, drawing my attention. He bumped his nose against my palm once more. Swallowing, I ran my fingers over his forehead, mindful of the small bumps that had sprouted along the crown of his diamond-shaped head. One day, they would grow into horns larger than my hand, if not half my arm.
“That means no threatening to cut his eyes out and feed them to him when he inevitably angers you,” warned Rhahar, the smooth, rich brown skin of his cheek gleaming under the sconce he stood by.
“How did you hear about that?” I exclaimed.
“Everyone has heard about you threatening Attes.” Nyktos smirked.
“He actually told Theon and me on his way out that day,” Lailah said. “He was rather amused by it.”
Theon frowned. “And kind of turned on by it,” he said. A low rumble radiated from Nyktos as the air charged. Theon held up his hands. “Sorry.
Forget I mentioned that.”
I stared at Nyktos, using every ounce of willpower I had not to say anything. The utter audacity of him being angered over another person being attracted to me—no matter how bizarre that attraction was—when I wanted to set the settee I sat upon on fire because of what he had been doing with Veses on it…
Nyktos’s gaze flickered to mine, the pulse of eather brighter. I held his stare for a moment and then looked away. My attention collided with Rhain’s. He watched us, his lips drawn in a tight, thin line.
“When are you all leaving then?” Saion asked, rocking back on his chair as he planted his boot on the edge of the desk.
Nyktos knocked his foot off the table. “After we return from Irelone and have removed the embers.”
I stiffened, my hand stilling.
“Got it.” Saion lifted his chin. “We’ll hold it down here.”
“Wait,” I said. Reaver turned his head toward Nyktos. “We don’t know how long that will take.”
“We know where to start looking for Delfai,” Nyktos responded. “And we will take however long is necessary.”
I glanced at Nektas. The draken said nothing as he tried to tuck Jadis’s foot under the blanket. “How long did it take before Kolis grew angry when you last delayed in answering a summons from him?”
Nyktos said nothing.
Irritation rose as I glanced around the room, my hand sliding along Reaver’s back. “How long?”
Everyone studiously studied the floor, the ceiling, or one another.
Everyone except Rhain. “Less than a day.”
“Fuck,” Nyktos growled, pushing off the desk as he turned to the god. “Normally, I expect that shit from this one.” He jerked his chin.
“Hey,” Ector grumbled. “I kept my mouth shut this time.”
Rhain didn’t back down, but he did take a step back. “She should know what the delay will cost.”
“Pretty sure he wanted the exact opposite,” Bele murmured. “Either way, we’ve got it covered.”
Theon nodded. “That we do.” “No,” I said.
Every head turned to me—even Nektas’s and Reaver’s. But it was only Nyktos who spoke. “Sera—”
“No,” I repeated, and Reaver rose onto his haunches, eyeing the Primal. “I don’t want to be a part of whatever Kolis will do in retaliation for us not answering his summons in a timely manner.”
Eather seeped into the skin of Nyktos’s cheeks. “You are more important than—”
“Don’t say it,” I warned as he took a step forward. “The—”
Reaver expanded his wings, startling me. I leaned back as he stretched out his thin neck and lifted his head.
Nyktos drew up short as a low rumble radiated from Reaver’s chest, and smoke wafted from his nostrils.
Stunned, I stared at the small draken. My gaze flew to Nyktos, then to Nektas, who had started grinning. “Ha!” I exclaimed, reaching down to pat the top of Reaver’s head. “That’s a good Reaver-Butt.”
Reaver hummed as he eyed Nyktos. He made a low, chattering sound.
“Man,” Theon drawled, his mouth twitching as if he fought and then lost the battle to hold back a laugh. “That’s kind of wrong.”
“It’s the embers,” I guessed. “He’s probably responding to that.” “No, it’s you.” Nyktos looked at me. “He’s protecting you.”
I frowned at the back of Reaver’s head. “You’re not going to do anything to me.”
Nyktos sighed. “He knows that, but he’s just letting me know that he doesn’t appreciate me upsetting you.”
I snorted. “Well, he’s going to be busy letting you know that, then.”
Someone, and it sounded like Aios this time, laughed under their breath. Reaver settled beside me, draping his head over my knee again. This time, he didn’t need to nudge my hand. I got to petting him.
“You can stop grinning anytime now,” Nyktos said without looking at Nektas.
“I know,” the draken replied, still smiling.
“We answer his summons,” I said, looking up at Nyktos. “We don’t wait. We take care of that first.”
A muscle ticked in Nyktos’s jaw. “Then we leave within the hour.”
|
Aios had followed me to my chambers, offering to help pick out the appropriate attire.
“Is what I’m wearing not appropriate?”
“It is.” Her back was to me as she flipped through the garments in the wardrobe.
“But?”
“But Kolis will think you too casual,” she said, and that was the last thing I was worried about him thinking. “And he would see it as disrespectful.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “It seems like he sees many things as disrespectful.”
“He does.” Aios pulled out a deep crimson gown that Erlina had made. I had glanced past it when going through the clothes. Not because it wasn’t beautiful but because I wasn’t sure where or why I would wear something so elegant. “This will do.”
Seizing on irritation instead of focusing on the rapidly building dread, I took the gown and, with Aios’s help, changed into it.
“It’s beautiful on you,” the goddess murmured, toying with the chain around her neck as she stepped back.
“Thank you.” I ran my hands over the velvet and lace. The gown was tailored perfectly, hugging my breasts, loose at the waist, and tight at the hips. There was no fear of falling out of it with the neckline that swept around the back of my neck and draped over one shoulder. A fine layer of lace had been stitched over the bodice and hips, and there were slits on both sides of the skirt, something that had to be the style in Iliseeum and was of benefit to me as I strapped the sheath to my upper thigh.
“You’re so much like Bele,” she remarked. “Stashing weapons here and there.”
“I wish I had more than this.”
“As do I.” She smiled tightly as she glanced at the closed chamber doors. Nyktos had said he’d come for me when it was time. Currently, he remained with the others, going over things for when he was gone.
“Hopefully, you won’t be there long enough to worry about any other attire.”
My heart skipped, and I didn’t want to consider the possibility that this wouldn’t be an in-and-out journey. Or the oath Nyktos had made.
Or what terrible things Rhain had spoken of. “Can I…can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” I smoothed the skirt of the gown as I straightened.
“Will you attempt to go after Kolis while you’re there?” Aios asked. Her blunt question caught me off guard. I shook my head.
She pressed her lips together as she looked away. “I hope you speak the truth. I don’t understand why you would’ve tried something like that before, and I worry that you will do so again.”
“It was different then. I didn’t think there was any other option,” I said, feeling the uncomfortable weight of my words. The guilt. “Now, there is.”
Aios was quiet for a moment. “Why would you think that was an option in the first place?” Her eyes met mine. “You’re brave. Strong. You have embers in you—powerful ones—but why would you even think you could somehow harm a Primal?”
“I have reasons to believe that I can.” “Whatever reasons you have, you’re wrong.”
The slippered heels I wore barely made a sound as I took a step toward her. “There is something you don’t—” I let out an exasperated breath, not finding it in me to lie. “I’m Kolis’s graeca.”
Aios’s chest rose with a sharp breath. “That’s impossible.”
“I have Sotoria’s soul,” I said, giving her a brief explanation of how I knew. “Eythos placed her soul in my bloodline, along with the embers,” I said, my voice low even though no one was around us to hear. “Eythos knew what he was doing when he put her soul in with the embers. He was creating a…a weapon. I am Kolis’s weakness. If I’d made it to him, I could’ve stopped him. That is why I left.”
“But…” Creases formed above her brows as she shook her head. “You don’t have Sotoria’s soul. You are Sotoria.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “I’m Sera. I’m not her.”
“I know. I’m sorry. You are you.” Her fingers went to the thin chain again. “I…I just wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
I laughed hoarsely. “Yeah, well, I didn’t expect to hear it when Holland told me either.”
She exhaled heavily. “If Kolis were to discover…”
“That was my whole point in leaving before,” I said. “I don’t know if I look like her or not. I was hoping I did, and it wouldn’t require me to… seduce him.” My stomach soured. “So, that’s why I left. It wasn’t just what you said. It’s my destiny. It’s been my destiny. Becoming Nyktos’s Consort isn’t. It never has been.”
“Couldn’t your destiny be both?”
My gaze flew to hers, and my mind immediately went to how I had wanted to be Nyktos’s Consort.
“Now, I understand,” Aios said, her lips puckering. “That’s why Nyktos wanted to delay this. He wouldn’t have risked Kolis taking out his frustration on the Shadowlands for anything else.” She brushed her braid back over her shoulder. “And you no longer hope that you look like Sotoria?”
My skin chilled with my reluctance to answer the question. To speak the truth. But I did. “No,” I whispered. “And I shouldn’t feel that way, even with Nyktos’s plan. Because I could still do something. I could still try. That’s what I’ve been preparing for—”
“I never told you what my time with Kolis was like, did I?” I blinked, shaking my head.
“I, like Gemma, was one of his favorites.” Aios laughed, but this one was like shards of glass. “He kept me in a cage.”
My lips parted as horror seized me.
“Granted, it was a large cage of gilded bones.” “As if that makes it okay,” I blurted out.
Her smile was tight. “It doesn’t, but…” She swallowed. “As sick as this feels to say, and as hard as it will be to understand, the cage wasn’t as bad as what happened once Kolis grew bored with his favorites. And that always happened. Sometimes, in days or weeks. Other times, months or even years.”
Years? Spent in a cage? I would… I would lose myself in days.
I sat on the edge of the couch, only because I thought I might fall down if I didn’t.
“You see, his Court is lawless and yet full of unknown rules that, if broken, result in death. There is no other way to explain it. Only the cruelest, most manipulative survive in Dalos.” Her fingers twisted the
chain. “But his favorites were always protected—and, yes, he often had more than one at a time. Every need or want, except for freedom, was provided for. Decadent food. Jewels. Lush furs.” Her fingers stilled. “No one was allowed to speak to us. Touch us. He routinely killed his own guards when he believed they looked too long in our direction. He never… he never forced himself on his favorites. Barely even touched them. Not even the ones who offered themselves to him as a means of escape.”
I hadn’t expected that.
“He just wanted us there, like pretty adornments that he could visit whenever he wanted to gaze upon them. Those who could do naught but listen to him prattle on endlessly for hours, about how Eythos was the real villain and how unfairly he’d been treated.” She rolled her eyes. “Fates, there were times when I honestly would’ve preferred to take a dagger to my ears than listen to him. But Kolis…he could be deceptively charming when he wanted to be. Enough that you started to relax around him, maybe even let down your guard, even though you knew better. I think that is one of the worst things about him. His ability to cause someone to doubt what they know to be true. To somehow be surprised when that charming veneer vanishes. You see him for what you always knew him to be as he throws you to the serpents.”
“What…what do you mean? About the serpents,” I asked, half-afraid of the answer.
“Other gods. Primals. Godlings. Those who serve him. Honestly, I shouldn’t even refer to them as serpents. That’s an insult to the serpents.”
“Actually, I don’t think you can insult serpents. They’re the worst.”
Aios cracked a grin, but it faded quickly. “Everyone in his Court knows that Kolis eventually grows tired of his favorites. So, they wait while you’re showered with things they want—while their friends or even family are killed for the crime of looking in your direction. They know they’ll get their due. The moment a favorite got their freedom was often the last moment of their life. The things they did to people who had done nothing wrong— whose only crime was becoming the unwilling object of Kolis’s fixation…” She inhaled sharply as my stomach continued to churn. “And Kolis, he did nothing. Not when they were beaten. Raped. Killed. That is what he took pleasure in. Watching those he’d chosen and cherished be stripped to nothing. If you survived the initial release, then the real fun began. You were watched by his most trusted—and they were allowed to do whatever
they wanted. They could kill you if that pleased them. You had no rights. It was like a game. Seeing how long they survived. There were often bets. Once, one of his cast-off favorites became pregnant. It was not her choice. Nor was it when I saw Kolis take the babe from her arms and plunge a dagger through the poor child’s heart.”
I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth, feeling bile rise. “How…?” I cleared my throat. “How did you escape?”
“I survived,” she replied, the horror of what her survival must have entailed lingering in the silence that followed. “And when the chance came for me to leave Dalos, I gutted one of his favored guards and escaped.”
A twisted smile of vindictive pleasure curved my lips. “I see you approve of that.”
“I do. I hope it hurt.”
The glow of eather shone intensely in her eyes. “It did.”
“I’m…I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t even begin to understand how someone could do or allow such things. Any of it.”
“Most cannot, and for that we should be grateful.”
I nodded. “You are…you are very strong. I hope you know that. But I wish you didn’t have to know.”
“It doesn’t always feel that way, but thank you.” Her chin lifted. “It was a long time ago. I’ve had time to process what was done to me. I’m fortunate to have people like Bele and Nyktos around me.”
But that didn’t mean the horrors didn’t still haunt her, and she must be revisiting them now.
Aios stepped forward, kneeling and clasping my hand. “I didn’t tell you that so you’d feel sorry for me.”
“I know.” I squeezed her fingers.
“I told you because I knew no other way to convey what I know to be true—just in case you decide to follow this destiny you believe is yours. It doesn’t matter what soul you carry inside you.” Aios raised our joined hands. “What matters is whether Kolis is capable of loving again, even his graeca. And he’s not. There’s nothing but rot and decay where his kardia should be. Kolis has no weakness.”
