Hours after returning from the mortal realm and spending the better part of the afternoon training with Bele, who had been more than happy to knock me on my ass repeatedly, I was utterly, gloriously exhausted.
The edges of Nyktos’s hair tickled my cheek as his lips grazed my brow, his heart pounding as fast as mine. Biting down on my lip, my nails skated over the coiled muscles along his spine, my back arching as he shuddered above me and deep inside me.
His raw, heated groan as he joined me in finding release sent a burst of rippling delight through me, nearly as potent as the waves of pleasure I’d experienced only moments before.
And that was a…a new discovery for me—the ecstasy that came from the knowledge that he was just as satisfied as I was. It wasn’t like I hadn’t cared if my previous partners found pleasure or not. It was that I, well, I never thought about it.
So maybe I hadn’t cared?
But I did when it came to Nyktos.
His cool fingers smoothed my damp hair back as he dropped a sweet kiss onto my forehead. My heart gave a silly little leap.
He eased away from me onto his side, and I immediately missed the feel of him.
Nyktos was quiet as his hand drifted over the curve of my shoulder, along my collarbone, and then lower, over the peak of my breast. I, too, was quiet as I lay still, allowing him to explore. Reveling in it.
The rough pads of his fingers danced over one puckered nipple, drawing a quick breath from me before he moved on, tracing the swells and dips of my body. Finding it somewhat odd that his touch could heighten my senses, driving me to the brink while also providing such soothing calm, my eyes fluttered closed, and my thoughts drifted in the silence.
Our trip to Lasania was at the forefront of my mind. Knowing that Ezra more than had things together was such a relief. I turned my head toward Nyktos slightly. “I know you probably think the trip today was unnecessary.”
“I don’t think that.”
“Really?” My eyes opened. Soft, buttery light from the nearby lamp cast a warm glow over half his face. “Because I…I think I knew—no, I did know that Ezra would be preparing no matter what, even if Holland hadn’t said anything. But I had to make sure.”
“I understand.” Thick lashes shielded his eyes as his gaze avidly followed his fingers. “And I also understand that maybe you just needed to see her.”
My chest warmed and swelled. That was likely what had driven my motivations. Because some part of me, a deeply rooted dread, feared that I wouldn’t get a chance to see her again.
Nyktos’s plans will work. I repeated that over and over until that dread retreated. I cleared my throat, focusing on the fact that Nyktos wasn’t irritated by the risky trip. He could’ve been, and, at the very least, he could’ve pointed out that it had been unnecessary.
Gods knew I probably would have.
Which made me feel like I had more of my mother in me than I wanted to acknowledge. I squirmed a little.
“What are you thinking about?” Nyktos asked, his fingers stopping at my hip.
I turned my gaze to the ceiling. “Did I project?”
“You did.” He paused. “I tasted tartness and…something sour.” My brows rose. “Not sure what that translates into.”
“Confusion,” he answered. “And shame.”
“Nice,” I muttered, feeling my cheeks heat. “You must often find yourself with bad tastes in your mouth.”
“Sometimes.” His hand curled around my hip. “You going to tell me what you were thinking about?”
“Do I have to?”
He chuckled. “No.”
My lips pursed. “Do you want me to?”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t, but I’m sure you already know that.” I did.
“I was…thinking about my mother.”
Nyktos shifted closer so his chest touched my arm and one of his legs brushed mine. “I wish you wouldn’t.”
“Same.” I sighed.
His fingers left my hip, going to where several curls were tangled together on my arm. He set about unraveling them. “Was it what I said to her?”
“Good gods, no.” My gaze shot to his. “I wish I could relive that moment over and over: her just staring at you, open-mouthed as we walked away.”
A faint grin appeared. “But I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut.
She’s your mother. Yours to deal with.”
“But I…I don’t want to deal with her. I realized that today. That’s why I didn’t, you know, engage with her. Mainly because I just knew she would piss me off. But also because I…” My brows snapped together. “Because I just don’t care. My confusion or shame or whatever you were picking up on had to do with thinking that parts of me are like her. And I…I don’t like that.”
“I think all of us have parts of us that are like our parents, but that doesn’t mean we are them.”
“True,” I murmured, wondering what my father was like for the millionth time.
“And the not-caring part? It’s not necessarily a bad thing.” He curled one finger around a strand of hair. “Just because someone shares the same bloodline as you doesn’t mean they deserve your time or thoughts.”
“You’re right.” My gaze swept over his features. “You, more than anyone, would understand that.”
Nyktos’s fingers stilled around the curl. “Yeah. I would,” he said, the sudden flatness of the sentence alarming me. “And that’s why neither of us is going to spend another moment thinking about those we’re unfortunately related to.”
He rolled his large body onto mine then, and within seconds, I wasn’t thinking about anything but him and the way he kissed. And how he used his mouth and tongue. His fingers and his cock. He chased away those other thoughts.
Even the dread that clung like a shadow and haunted like a ghost.
 |
Hair still damp, I threaded the strands into a braid as I walked with Ector to Nyktos’s office the following morning. According to what Orphine had shared as I ate my breakfast, I was to meet the Primal there when ready. Since the trip to the Vale wasn’t scheduled until tomorrow, I hoped that Nyktos was fulfilling another of my demands.
Training.
But I wasn’t sure, and it wasn’t like I’d had a chance to ask Nyktos this morning. He had been gone when I woke.
Using one of the final bands I could find in the bathing chamber, I made a mental note to ask about the ones Nyktos had been taking after undoing my braids. He’d put them around his wrist, but they were nowhere to be seen after that. What was he doing with them? Using them in his hair? I focused on that instead of the blood I had seen again earlier when I cleaned my teeth. I refused to think about that.
“You’re smiling,” Ector commented, glancing down at me. “I feel like I should be worried when you’re smiling.”
I snorted. “There’s nothing to be worried about.” “Uh-huh.”
I felt my smile grow as we descended the stairs and I thought about last night. Every moment had felt like some sort of wild dream. Nyktos had shared dinner with me again, and then we’d shared each other. As his large body trembled in release, he’d whispered that word against my lips once more.
Liessa.
Something beautiful. Something powerful. Queen.
I caught sight of Lailah heading down the hall to our right as we crossed the foyer, Reaver flying near her shoulder as we turned toward Nyktos’s office. The embers in my chest warmed and wiggled, and there was a swift, swelling motion that made me feel a little silly, then a little reckless when we entered the office and I saw Nyktos at his desk, writing in
the Book of the Dead. He had his hair swept back from the sharp, stunning angles of his face.
My heart leapt as he lifted his head. Luminous, silver eyes connected with mine, and my skin immediately felt warmer than it should. Were hot flashes a symptom of the Culling? I’d ask Aios the next time I saw her. Definitely not Nektas.
“Perfect timing.” Nyktos closed the Book of the Dead and rose, twisting the twine around the book. He was dressed as he’d been in his chambers—no embellished tunic, only a loose, black shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and leathers. He turned to the credenza. “I just finished.”
“Is there anything else you need?” Ector asked.
“No, but I won’t be available this morning.” Nyktos put the tome away as anticipation stirred. “Unless there is an emergency.”
“Understood.” Ector slid a sly look in my direction. “Thank you,” Nyktos said, coming around his desk.
Ector bowed and, with one quick look in my direction, exited the office, leaving me alone with the Primal.
Things still felt inexplicably different.
And I needed to get control of my wildly beating heart. “How many souls oddly shared the same name today?”
He sent me a faint grin as he crossed the office, and it did little to calm my heart. “None this morning.”
“I suppose it’s because you weren’t so distracted.” I clasped my hands together.
“Considering how quiet it was,” he said, stopping before me, his gaze dipping to the swell of my chest pushed up by the vest, “and that there were no breasts inches from my face, I was quite focused.”
I bit back a grin. “Well, you should be pleased to see that there is no threat of my breasts being such a distraction today.”
“They are always a distraction,” he murmured, picking up my braid. “Which is more of a failing on your part than my breasts’ fault.”
He ran his thumb down the length. “So I’ve been told.”
“So you should know,” I told him, enjoying the lighthearted banter. It reminded me of before my betrayal became known.
The quick grin returned as he drew the braid over my shoulder, letting it fall down my back. “Come,” he said, stepping back and starting for the
office doors.
Arching a brow, I followed him into the hall and then down it toward the back stairwell. He opened a heavy door to our right, the last at the end of the hall. I peered around him. There was nothing but a black abyss. “What is this?”
He glanced over his shoulder. Torches along the wall flared to life in a shower of sparks. One after another, they lit, casting a rippling orangey glow over narrow, steep, winding stairs. “A stairwell.”
I shot him a bland look. “You’re so helpful.”
“I don’t think you mean that as a compliment.” He started down the steps. “But I’ll take it as one.”
“You do you,” I murmured, trailing my hands along the damp walls as I descended behind him. The musty, stale scent that gathered in the cramped space reminded me of the maze of chambers beneath Wayfair Castle that led to tunnels, which stretched throughout the entire city.
“You’ll be happy to know that when you Ascend, you’ll be able to use the essence in the same way I just did,” he said, nodding at the flickering torches.
I stared at the width of his broad shoulders, my hands still on the walls. I liked how confident he was concerning the outcome of his plan. It was reassuring. “So, I’ll be able to light fires with my mind, cast light, and move super fast with little effort?”
“You won’t be able to power electricity. That is something only a Primal can do, but lighting fires and moving fast? Yes. And that is not done with your mind. It is done by your will.” He followed the sharp turns of the stairwell with the ease that said this was a well-traveled space for him.
“Sounds like the same thing to me, but whatever.”
“But it’s not. Your mind takes thought. Time. Your will just is. It’s immediate.”
I made a face at his back. “Either way, I’m going to be so lazy.”
Nyktos chuckled. “Careful,” he warned as he turned, taking one of my hands from the wall. “The last step here is rather steep. About a foot.”
The embers gave a happy little wiggle in response to his grasp. Or maybe it was my heart. I wasn’t sure anymore. Holding his hand, I went down the last step and into the mouth of a wide, torch-lit hall.
My chest tightened as I took in the damp, shadowstone walls and the bars. The rows of bars the color of bleached bones on either side of the hall.
Cells. “Should I be worried?”
It was Nyktos’s turn to send me a bland look. “I really hope that’s not a serious question.”
I said nothing as I eyed the bars lining the cells. They weren’t entirely smooth or straight. Some were twisted, and inside the cells, I saw chains that resembled the bars. I started toward them, noticing there were things etched into them. Symbols.
“Putting you in a cell now after everything,” he said, stopping me with the hold he still had on my hand, “and especially after striking what is likely an ill-advised but very enjoyable deal with you wouldn’t make very much sense, would it?”
I slowly looked over my shoulder at him. “Ill-advised?”
His eyes glimmered in the firelight. “I also said very enjoyable.”
I started to point out that one thing didn’t erase what’d come before it, but I remembered what he’d also said. That his attraction to me, and the subsequent pleasure-for-the-sake-of-pleasure deal we’d made, was something he considered a distraction. But I was beginning to think that distraction was a code word for caring.
And I knew what Nyktos believed would happen to those he allowed himself to care for.
Part of me was also beginning to believe that was why he’d had his
kardia removed. Not to protect himself but to protect others.
Turning back to the cells, I stopped the rise of sorrow before he could pick up on it. “The bars? Is it just me, or do they look like actual bones? As do the chains.”
“They are.” Nyktos started walking, taking me with him. “Bones that once belonged to gods or the children of the gods.”
My lip curled. “Like the kind that entombed those in the Red Woods?” He nodded.
“What’s carved into them?”
“Primal wards that make them very difficult to break,” he said as we continued down the seemingly endless hall of cells. There had to be dozens of them. “The bones will even hold a Primal once weakened. The only thing they have no effect on is a being of two worlds.”
“Dual life. The draken,” I murmured, remembering him saying that before. “You said your father created more like the draken?”
“He did create more of dual life,” Nyktos said as we came to the end of the hall, where it split into two more. He took me to the left, where a door was held open by a shadowstone sword speared through the wood and embedded into the stone behind it. I frowned at the blade, shaking my head. “But the draken are like the Arae. The dragons they came from are of ancient creation. What my father created after the draken are gods, and if there were ever others given dual life, they too would be godlike.”
“What are the ones he gave dual life to?”
“There are only two. Ones that can shift into forms of large felines. They’re called wivern and can usually be found in Sirta. They are fierce fighters in both forms, and most gods know better than to get cornered by a pissed-off wivern.”
It didn’t surprise me that the gods who could take the form of such predators would be found in Hanan’s Court.
“And then there are the ceeren,” he continued, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was aware that he still held my hand. “They are usually found in the Triton Isles.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “Do they live in the water?” “They can.” He arched a brow. “You’ve heard of them?”
“I’ve heard stories of them—old ones. Legends of sailors being lured from their ships by beautiful creatures in the sea that were half mortal, half…fish.” I wrinkled my nose. “Not quite sure how one is half fish.”
He grinned as we passed several rough-hewn chambers that I figured were meant to be more cells. Only a handful had doors, and I tried not to think about how far underground we must be. “Yeah, they are unique to look upon when they take that form. I’m sure you will see them eventually.”
I really wanted to see a ceeren. “And they’re the only ones who can shift forms?”
A faint grin appeared. “Some Primals and even fewer gods can.” Nyktos stopped then at the end of the hall, then pushed open a door. Letting go of my hand, he stepped inside. “Here we are.”
Flames from dozens of sconces cast a soft glow over the wide chamber, which appeared to have been carved out of shadowstone, the walls not nearly as smooth as they were on the floors above. Some sort of stone table had been built from the wall, standing a little bit higher than my waist, but what rested in the middle of the chamber caught and held my attention as I
slowly walked forward. It was a…a large body of water. Like a lake—but not.
The door closed behind me as Nyktos joined me. “It’s a pool,” he explained.
“A pool?” I repeated, clasping my hands under my chin.
“Yes, like a very large bathing tub. The end here,” he said, gesturing to where water rippled over some steps, “is pretty shallow, but it gradually becomes deeper. Small mills at the end, where it is even above my head, keep the water moving, and the minerals that run off the shadowstone help to keep the water clean and cool.” He tipped his head back to look at the low ceiling. “The kitchens are above us, and the fires there help keep this chamber heated. It’s the closest thing I could get to a lake.”
My gaze cut to him. “Did you create this? With eather?”
“Using that kind of energy to create something like this could’ve destabilized the whole palace. This was done by hand,” he said, and my eyes went wide. “I didn’t do this alone. Rhain and Ector helped carve out the stone. Even Saion and Rhahar pitched in over the years. So did Nektas.” Another grin appeared. “Bele mostly just stood by and supervised.”
I snickered at that. “How long did this take?”
“A very long time, but it was worth it.” Pride crept into his tone. “Especially when sleep is hard to attain, or the mind is in need of a quiet place.”
I stared up at him as he turned his gaze to the dark, glistening waters that reminded me so much of my lake. I wondered how often he disappeared to this space—somewhere I knew was special, based on his tone and how he looked upon it. It might even be a little bit sacred to him. I also wondered why he’d decided to show it to me.
You miss your lake, don’t you?
That sweeping, fluttering motion returned to my chest as my gaze shifted back to the pool.
“Why did you visit my lake if you had this?”
Nyktos was quiet for so long that I looked at him. He was still staring at the pool. “Because it was your lake.”
