Nyktos was gone when I woke, but my last words to him lingered.
Promise me.
I shouldnโt have made that promise. Rolling onto my back, I turned my head. My gaze flicked from the nightstand and the small wooden box on it to where my dagger lay on the pillow beside mine. Drawing in a deep breath, I exhaled slowly and picked up the dagger. I spotted my robe at the foot of the bed. Nyktos mustโve retrieved it.
That new crack in my chest throbbed as I rose.
The stone was cool under my feet as I walked through the dimly lit passageway and entered my chambers. I stood beneath the glass chandelier for several moments, trying to get my thoughts in order. Iโd failed last night. So, what was I going to do now?
There was no answer. Only the arrival of Baines and fresh water, followed by Orphine. Her apology to Nyktos the night before still scalded my skin with shame.
โOnce youโre ready, Iโm to escort you to Nyktos,โ Orphine announced as she moved to close the doors. โIโll be waiting in the hall.โ She paused. โPlease donโt attempt to make a run for it again.โ
โI wonโt.โ I expected some sort of caustic remark from her, but all she did was nod before stepping out into the hall.
I turned back to the bathing chamber. At least what Iโd said to Orphine wasnโt a lie. I wouldnโt try to escapeย right now.ย But I would have to try again. And that made the new crack in my chest feel even more unsteady, as if it were at risk of deepening and spreading.
I rubbed at the center of my chest, stopping my thoughts before they revisited the mess of emotions that had caused the fissure. Nyktos was waiting, and I might as well get what would likely be an epic bitchfest over with.
Shoving my hair back from my face, I frowned at the gritty texture. I withdrew my fingers and glanced down. A thin layer of ash coated my hands that had only ever wielded power that healed and brought life. But I had hurt Nyktos.
That kind of power killed.
Could the embers really be that strong? Were they giving me godlike abilities even now? It wasnโt implausible when I thought about it. After all, the embers had always given me powers.
I just didnโt want toโฆhurt anyone. Not on purpose.
I swallowed thickly, forcing myself to get a move on. I went into the bathing chamber and grabbed a clean washcloth. I placed a towel beside the tub and knelt. I tugged off the slip and already missed the faint trace of citrus that clung to the material. Keeping an eye on the entryway, I quickly washed myself and then dunked my head in the tub, vigorously scrubbing at my hair. It had taken an ungodly amount of time to work out all the tangles after, but it was nearly dry by the time I went to the wardrobe.
There werenโt many options left when it came to attire: a few sweaters, a pair of thick, black leggings, and three gowns. I chose a sweater and some leggings and then joined Orphine in the hall.
The draken was silent as she led me to the palaceโs first floor, a book once again tucked under her arm. The only sound was that of our boots rapping off the stone floors.
โIโm sorry about Davina,โ I said, not knowing if she had been close to the draken or not. When I got no response, I glanced over at her. โAnd IโmโฆIโm also sorry for making you feel like you failed at your duty. It wasnโt your fault, and itโs not like you expected me to climb down from the balcony.โ
Orphine arched a brow, but that was it. Pressing my lips together, I looked away as guilt settled heavily in my chest. I imagined that her dislike of me had grown to rampant hatred, and I couldnโt exactly blameโ
โYouโre right,โ she said. โI didnโt expect you to scale the palace walls. I doubt many would, but I do appreciate the apologyโฆand what you intended to do.โ
My head swung to her as we reached the stairs. โYou do?โ
โWhat you did wouldโve ended in disaster,โ she said. โBut your willingness to take such a risk speaks of your integrity. And that is to be respected. Honored.โ
Respected? Honored? I tried to think of a time when I had been on the receiving end of either of those things as we crossed under an archway. Before the night of my seventeenth birthday, Iโd been honored, but not for anything Iโd done. Only for what my family believed I could do for the kingdom. They respected that. Notย me.
We reached the empty but brightly lit foyer and passed under the cascading glass candles powered by Primal energy. I half-expected an entire armed fleet of guards to be waiting for us. Forcing out a short breath, I glanced at the plain, white pedestal with nothing on it, wondering for the umpteenth time what, if anything, had once sat there. A nervous sort of energy buzzed through me as we passed the entryways to the halls, one of which held Nyktosโs office. The palace was eerily silent as we passed that corridor.
My anxiousness ramped up. โWhere are we going?โ
โTo Nyktos,โ she answered. That much was already apparent, but she didnโt elaborate.
I folded an arm over my stomach as my gaze shifted to the throne room. My steps slowed. I couldnโt remember seeing the doors closed before. If I had, then I was less observant than I realized because there was a beautiful design painted on them. The same kind of scrolling vines embroidered on the tunics Nyktos and his guards wore had been engraved in silver. White poplar leaves bloomed from the vines. In the center of each door were two crescent moons facing each other, and in the space between them, across the closed doors and painted behind the spiraling vines, was the shape of a wolf.
A white wolf.
I blinked, my brows pinching as I stared at the designโ
The ember belonging to Nyktos hummed in my chest as the doors silently swung open upon our approach, revealing two unfamiliar guards. My pulse skittered. Why was I meeting him in here? Senses on high alert, I entered the throne room and jerked to a stop.
Under the glow of the star-strewn sky high above the open ceiling, and the thousands of lit candles lining the walls, stoodโฆgood gods, there had to beย hundredsย of men and women standing in the throne room, garbed in the dark gray of the Primalโs guards and armed to within an inch of their lives.
It couldnโt be all of them because I knew the Rise and Lethe wouldnโt go unprotected, but the vast, circular chamber was nearly full. My wide
gaze swung over the sea of faces. I caught sight of Saion standing with Rhahar across from Rhain and Ector. Another male stood with them, one with dark, wavy hair and the same pale, ivory skin as Orphine. Rhain looked away, his jaw tight as my gaze touched his.
My confusion only rose as I saw Lailah and Theon, joined by a purplish-black-scaled draken that reached the height of their knees. It was strange seeing Reaver in his draken form when heโd looked like a boy of ten with shaggy blond hair, an elfin face, and solemn, too-serious eyes the last time Iโd seen him. Then I looked at the dais.
Nyktos stood before the empty thrones, dressed in a loose shirt and dark pants. Even from a distance, his eyes found and held mine. My heart started pounding as I stood there.
โCome.โ Orphine motioned for me to follow.
As if Iโd fallen under a spell, my feet moved. Guards and gods parted as we walked forward, the room so quiet I feared they could hear the thundering of my heart as I reached the rounded steps. I truly had no idea what was going on, but I didnโt think Nyktos had brought me before all of these people to yell at me. He had to know how poorly that would go for him, Primal or not. I stopped again because Orphine had, andโฆ
Because Nyktosโs intense stare was still locked on me and my hair, which Iโd left down. That choice had had nothing to do with his fascination with it or that heโd once said it reminded him of moonlight. Not at all. The back of my neck tingled as I slowly climbed the short set of steps.
โItโs okay,โ Nyktos said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. Candlelight glinted off his cuff as he extended his hand to me. โTake my hand.โ
Too confused to deny him, I did as he ordered. Nyktos gave a nod as I turned to face those below. The guards at the doors closed them as Reaver prowled out from the mass of people. Talons clicking softly as he crossed the shadowstone floors, he climbed the steps. I didnโt see Nektas, but I saw Aios standing near Paxton, the young mortal boy that Nyktos had brought to the Shadowlands after heโd tried to pickpocket him. The confused pinch to her features mirrored what I felt.
Nyktos placed his other hand on my shoulder, the chill of his fingers bleeding through the sweater, serving once more as a reminder of what Iโd done to him. โThose gathered here are some of my most trusted allies,โ he continued quietly. It struck me then how he never referred to his guards or
the gods under him as servants. He only spoke of them asย equals. โThey have sworn to protect the Shadowlands and stand against Kolis and those who support the false Primal of Life.โ
My stomach gave another tumble as Reaver crouched by my legs.
โAll of them have done so with the knowledge that their oath will likely end in death. And yet, they actively work to restore Iliseeum to what it once wasโa realm of peace and fairness to all. Theyโre all brave, almost to a fault,โ he said, his voice rising. โJust as you are.โ
Air whooshed out of my lungs.
Nyktos squeezed my hand as he lifted his gaze to the crowd. โAny of them would have done as you did the other night,โ he spoke, allowing his voice to carry through the throne room. โAny of them would sacrifice themselves if they thought that would protect the Shadowlands and those who seek shelter here.โ He lifted his head as Reaver leaned against my legs, stilling the faint tremor that had begun there. โSeraphena has taken no oath, sworn no loyalties, nor does she yet wear the crown of the Consort. She has not been here long, but she was still willing to risk her life to protect all of youโall of those within the Shadowlands and beyond. Believing that she was the cause of the recent attacks, she planned to turn herself over to Kolis. Though she is not the cause,โ he said, the slight lies rolling off his tongue smoothly. โHer bravery is unmatched, even among all of you.โ
There were no dismissive laughs as shock rippled through the faces of those I recognized and those I didnโt. And IโฆI was just as surprised as I stood there. I didnโt know if I should throttle Nyktos or hug him. Because no oneโutterlyย no oneโhad ever recognized anything Iโd ever done in such a public way. I heard a low murmur as my gaze swept over the crowd, stopping on Aios. The blood had drained from her face.
Nyktosโs thumb brushed across the inside of my palm, causing me to jerk. โSeraphena will be a Consort more than worthy of the swords and shields each of you will wield to guard her. One the Shadowlands will be honored to have.โ
I felt dizzy as I stared at Aios, then movement caught my attention. Ector stepped out from the throng, withdrawing his sword. He crossed it over his chest as he lowered himself to one knee. โThen we will endeavor to be deserving of such an honor.โ
I jerked again, bumping into Nyktos as Reaver lifted his wings and stretched his neck, letting out a staggering, high-pitched call. Nyktos
steadied me as Saion did the same as Ector, then Rhahar and the twins. Then shouts echoed Ectorโs vow as swords were lifted, and gods and guards alike knelt.
โNone of them will harbor any ill thoughts toward you now. They will see you as you are. Brave and daring.โ Nyktos had lowered his head, speaking so only I could hear him. His cool breath danced over the shell of my ear, sending a shiver over my skin. โAnd if they still harbor any ill thoughts, they will be the last ones they ever have. No matter how loyal they are to the Shadowlands, I will destroy them.โ
I stiffened.
There wasnโt a single part of me that doubted the sincerity of his threat. It was in the shadows of his voice, and Iโฆwell, I was still torn between wanting to strangle Nyktos and maybe kiss him.
He clearly hadnโt forgotten what Iโd said about his guards. His speech had accomplished two things: it won over those who were displeased with me, and it effectively checkmated me in a rather impressive way.
Nyktos had just ensured that everyone in the room would be far less likely to help me in any future attempts to reach Kolis. Something he might never have considered if I hadnโt opened my big mouth and told him how his guards wouldโve been happy to see me gone. And now, theyโd be watching me even more closely, knowing what I was capable of attempting.
I glanced over my shoulder at him, my eyes narrowing. โClever bastard,โ I muttered.
One corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile. โI know.โ The essence in his eyes brightened as he leaned down, his lips so close to mine that, for a moment, I thought he might actually kiss me. โBut I meant every word I said. You are brave and strong. You will be a Consort more than worthy of their swords and shields.โ
Tears pricked at my eyes, and I quickly turned away. I had to. A raw, ragged emotion swelled in my chest. What he said meant everything to me, because every word had been about me and my actionsโnot what he believed about me, not what I or the embers could do for him, but what I had chosen to do. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I was more than just a destiny I had never agreed to. More than the embers I carried inside me.
I felt likeโฆmore.