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Chapter no 44

A Shadow in the Ember

I found myself in Nyktosโ€™ office for the first time, and as I suspected, it had the bare minimum, just like his bedchamber.

His desk was massive, made of some sort of dark wood that glinted with a hint of red in the lamplight, the narrow lamp the only item on the desk. One chair sat behind the desk, and the only furniture in the room was a credenza, an end table, and the settee I was sitting on. The lounge was a light gray color and thickly cushioned. I felt as if I were sinking into the seat. Like it could swallow me whole as I stared at the empty bookshelves lining the walls.

Nyktos was checking in on Bele, who had been placed in a chamber on the second floor. I wasnโ€™t sure how much time had passed, but there had been no alarms from the Rise alerting us to an impending attack. That didnโ€™t mean any of us relaxed. Saion couldnโ€™t stand still, moving from one side of the room to the other every couple of minutes. Ector did the same, walking in and out of the office. Both kept stealing glances at meโ€”nervous ones. I looked over at Ector, who now stood inside the office. He stared at me and then quickly averted his gaze.

โ€œCan I ask you two something?โ€ I said, wincing a little at the soreness in my throat.

Saion turned, facing me. โ€œSure.โ€ โ€œAre you scared of me?โ€

Ectorโ€™s head jerked up. He said nothing. Neither did Saion for a long moment, but he finally spoke as he stared at the shadowstone dagger Nyktos had returned to me. I had placed it on the arm of the settee, within handโ€™s reach. โ€œWhat you did in there should be impossible.โ€

I drew in a shallow breath, tucking my legs close to my chest as I sank further into the cushions.

I hadnโ€™t just brought Bele back to life. Iโ€™dย Ascendedย her.

โ€œWhy would that make you scared of me?โ€ I asked.

โ€œWeโ€™re not scared,โ€ Ector answered, leaning against the open doorframe. โ€œWe areโ€ฆunnerved. Unsettled. Disturbed. Unโ€”โ€

โ€œGot it,โ€ I cut him off. โ€œWhat I donโ€™t understand is why it makes you all feel any of that. I couldnโ€™t have Ascended her.โ€ A limp curl fell across my face. โ€œI donโ€™t even fully understand what that means for a god.โ€

Saion took a step forward and stopped. โ€œNormally? If this were hundreds of years ago and a Primal of Life Ascended a god? It would mean

โ€”what is the right word?โ€ He glanced at Ector. โ€œIt means entering a new stage of life. A transition.โ€

โ€œWhat kind of transition? What can a god transition into?โ€ As soon as I said that, my heart dropped. I remembered what Nyktos had told me. Primals were once gods. โ€œSheโ€™s a Primal now?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ Ector said and then frowned. โ€œAt least, I donโ€™t think she is. Her eyes changed. They were brown before. You saw them. Theyโ€™re silver now. Just like a Primal. And that shockwave of energy that came out of her. Thatโ€™s what happens when a god Ascends. But sheโ€™s not a Primal.โ€

โ€œButย sheโ€™s no longer just a god,โ€ Saion said, crossing his arms. โ€œThere was a shift when she breathed; when she came back. A burst of energy I felt. We all felt it. Iโ€™m willing to bet sheโ€™s more powerful now. I wasnโ€™t around when the Primals Ascended butโ€ฆโ€

I looked at Ector. โ€œYou were.โ€

He nodded slowly, his jaw working as he crossed the room and leaned against the desk. โ€œThatโ€™s what it felt like. That energy. Not as huge as when a Primal enters Arcadia and a new Primal rises. I donโ€™t think it wouldโ€™ve been felt in the mortal realm, but it was something. She may not be a Primal, but sheโ€™s Ascended, and thatโ€™s a big deal. A very unexpected big deal.โ€

I sensed that there was more to it. โ€œAnd a bad thing?โ€

โ€œFor the Primal Hanan it could be,โ€ Nyktos answered, coming through the open doors and startling me. My gaze cut to him. Heโ€™d changed his shirt and now wore a loose white one untied at the neck and untucked. He was weaponless, but what weapons did he need? โ€œBele Ascending means that she could challenge his position of authority over the Court of Sirta, and he wouldโ€™ve felt that.โ€

My stomach flipped as I slowly shook my head. Hanan was the Primal of the Hunt and Divine Justice. โ€œI donโ€™t know what to say.โ€

โ€œThereโ€™s nothing to be said. You brought her back.โ€ Nyktos approached me, stopping a few feet away. The wisps of eather in his eyes were faint tendrils. โ€œThank you.โ€

I opened my mouth but came up empty for several moments. โ€œIs sheโ€ฆ sheโ€™s okay still?โ€

โ€œShe sleeps. Iโ€™m beginning to think thatโ€™s common after such an act, as Gemma did the same.โ€ His gaze lowered. โ€œYou havenโ€™t cleaned up?โ€

Nyktos had ordered that I be placed here, so thatโ€™s where Iโ€™d been. He seemed to remember that because he stiffened and then looked at Ector. โ€œCan you grab me a clean towel and a small bowl of water from the kitchen?โ€

Ector nodded, pushing away from the desk. Nyktos remained where he stood. โ€œAios is with Bele, but she told me what Gemma shared with you all.โ€

โ€œGood.โ€ To be honest, I had already forgotten everything that Gemma had shared and what Iโ€™d realized afterward. โ€œDid she tell you about Odetta?โ€

โ€œShe did.โ€

โ€œCan we speak with her?โ€

โ€œShe passed too recently for that,โ€ he said, and disappointment seized me. His features softened. โ€œHer death and new beginning are far too recent. It could cause her to yearn for life, which would disrupt her peace.โ€

โ€œI understand.โ€ A bittersweet emotion swept through me. I wouldโ€™ve liked to have seen her, but I didnโ€™t want to risk herโ€”wait. My eyes narrowed on him. โ€œYouโ€™re doing it again.โ€

โ€œSorry,โ€ he murmured, turning as Ector returned, carrying a small white towel and a bowl. โ€œThank you.โ€

The god nodded. โ€œIโ€™ll wait for Nektas.โ€ He pivoted and then stopped, turning back to me. His gaze met mine as he placed his hand over his heart and bowed at the waist. โ€œThank you for what you did for Bele. For all of us.โ€

I went completely still.

โ€œYouโ€™re surprised by his gratitude?โ€ Nyktos asked, placing the bowl on the table beside the untouched glass of whiskey someone had poured for me. โ€œAnd Iโ€™m not reading your emotions. Your mouth is hanging open.โ€

I snapped it shut as I watched him wet the end of the towel and then kneel in front of me. โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€

โ€œCleaning you up.โ€

โ€œI can do that.โ€ I started to reach for the towel as Saion moved to stand by the door.

โ€œI know.โ€ He knelt in front of me. โ€œBut I want to do it.โ€

My heartโ€”my foolish, silly heartโ€”leapt. And if I were alone, I wouldโ€™ve punched myself in the chest. This desire of his was likely born of gratitude. Not forgiveness. Not understanding. I lowered my hands to my lap. โ€œSoโ€ฆum, why is Ector waiting on Nektas?โ€

โ€œBecause just in case Odettaย didย know something, I summoned the Fatesโ€”the Arae.โ€

My heart skipped. โ€œI thought the Primals couldnโ€™t command the Arae?โ€ โ€œThatโ€™s why Iโ€™ve summoned them. They may not answer, and if they

donโ€™t, I cannot force them to.โ€

I exhaled slowly. โ€œDoโ€ฆyou think Odetta knew something? That the Fates were involved?โ€

โ€œItโ€™s possible.โ€ He carefully brushed aside the half-undone braid. โ€œThe Arae usually move unseen, butโ€ฆโ€

I peeked up at him. His jaw had hardened, and the eather burned brighter in his eyes. He stared at my throat, lines bracketing his mouth.

โ€œHe will burn in the Abyss for all eternity.โ€ His gaze flicked to mine and then shifted away as he gently dabbed at the wound. โ€œOdetta couldโ€™ve known something about the Fates being involved.โ€ He refocused. โ€œAs weโ€™ve witnessed recently, stranger things have happened. Either way, weโ€™ll know within a couple of hours if the Arae will answer.โ€

I desperately tried to ignore the brush of his fingers and his fresh, citrusy scent. โ€œHow do you think Kolis or Hanan will respond to this ripple of power?โ€

Nyktos appeared to mull that over. โ€œHonestly? Kolis had to know that Taric and the other gods had come. By now, Iโ€™m sure he realizes they are dead. Beleโ€™s Ascension will probably have left him and the other Primalsโ€ฆ unsettled.โ€

โ€œShe doesnโ€™t like that word,โ€ Saion commented. I shot him an arch look.

Nyktos moved onto a new section of the towel, dunking it into the water. โ€œI think Kolis may hold off for a bit until he can figure out what he is dealing with.โ€

โ€œAnd Hanan? How do you think he will react?โ€

โ€œHanan is old. He knows the truth about Kolis and my father.โ€ He brushed the towel over the wound, and I jerked a little at the fleeting burst of biting pain. His gaze flew to mine. โ€œSorry.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s fine,โ€ I whispered, feeling my cheeks warm. โ€œItโ€™s nothing.โ€

Nyktos stared at me for a long moment and then returned to cleaning the blood from my neck. โ€œHanan keeps to himself. I donโ€™t know his thoughts on Kolis, but it is unlikely that he will be thrilled by what he felt. Beleย willย be a threat to him. The other Primals will worry about the possibility of something occurring to them, as well.โ€

โ€œWould that happen to any god I brought back?โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s a good question,โ€ Saion chimed in. โ€œIโ€™m thinking probably not? Like a god would have to be primed for it. Possibly already fated to Ascend.โ€

โ€œAgreed,โ€ Nyktos said. โ€œThough, we canโ€™t be sure when we donโ€™t really even know how it was possible.โ€

โ€œBut why would it not have been possible?โ€ I wondered. โ€œDeath is death. Life is life. Arenโ€™t gods and mortals alike in that sense in a way?โ€

One side of his lips curved up, and every part of my being affixed to his faint grin. It faded too quickly. โ€œBut itโ€™s not. A god is an entirely different being, and it requires a lot of power to do that.ย A lot.โ€ He rose, picking up the bowl. โ€œDid Taric or the gods say anything to you?โ€

I thought over what theyโ€™d said as Nyktos placed the bowl and towel on the desk, my thoughts going to those theyโ€™d slayed.

โ€œWhat?โ€ Nyktos turned back to me.

โ€œLike you said after you learned about the ember, I think they were searching for me in Lasania. Or searching for the ripple of power,โ€ I told him. โ€œThey said theyโ€™d find out if it was me theseย viktorsย were protecting.โ€

โ€œViktors.โ€ Nyktos glanced at Saion and shook his head. โ€œBeen a long time since Iโ€™ve heard of them.โ€

โ€œSame.โ€ Saion frowned as he studied me. โ€œBut it kind of makes sense if she hadย viktors, especially depending on what exactly your father did.โ€

โ€œThey areโ€ฆmostly mortal, born to serve one purpose,โ€ Nyktos explained, sitting beside me. โ€œTo guard a harbinger of great change or purpose. Some are not aware of their duty, but they serve nonetheless through numerous mechanisms of fateโ€”like being at the right place at the right time or introducing the one theyโ€™ve been destined to oversee to someone else. Others are aware and are part of the life of the one theyโ€™re

protecting. Sometimes, theyโ€™re called guardians. In all the time Iโ€™ve heard of them, Iโ€™ve never known there to be more than one to protect any given person.โ€

โ€œAnd do you think that the mortals killed by those gods were these

viktors?โ€

โ€œItโ€™s possible. Itโ€™s not easy for a god or Primal to sense them. Theyโ€™d have marks, just like godlings and descendants of gods have,โ€ Nyktos explained. โ€œYouโ€™d have to suspect that they could be that to even sense for it. And Iโ€ฆI didnโ€™t.โ€

And why would he at the time? All he knew was that his father had made this deal. He hadnโ€™t known what his father had done. โ€œAnd byย mostly mortal, what do you mean?โ€

โ€œHe means theyโ€™re neither mortal nor god. But they are eternal, like the Fates,โ€ Saion said.

My brows lifted. โ€œWell, that clarifies everything.โ€

Saion smirked. โ€œThey are born into their roles, much like a mortal is born, but their souls have lived many lives.โ€

โ€œReincarnated like Sotoria?โ€ I asked.

โ€œYes, and no.โ€ Nyktos leaned back. โ€œThey live like mortals, serving their purpose. They die either in the process of doing that or long after they have served, but when they die, their souls return to Mount Lotho, where the Arae are, and are given physical form once more. They remain there until it is their time once again.โ€

โ€œWhen theyโ€™re reborn, they have no memory of their previous lives, only this calling that some may or may not figure out. Itโ€™s a way for the Fates to keep the balance equal,โ€ Saion said. โ€œBut when they return to Mount Lotho, their memories of their lives return.โ€

โ€œAll of their lives?โ€

The god nodded, and I blew out a long breath. That could be a lot of lives to rememberโ€”a lot of deaths and losses. But also a lot of joy. If the Kazin siblings wereย viktors, did they know their duty? What about Andreia or the ones whose names I did not know? What about the babe?

What if that was what Sir Holland was?

My breath snagged in my chest. Could he be aย viktor? Heโ€™d protected me by training me, and he never gave up. Never. And he knew about the potion. Itโ€ฆit made sense. And because it did, it made me want to cry.

I let my head fall back against the cushion. This was a lot to digest. It had been a lot in a short period of time.

โ€œIf you want to bathe or rest, there is time,โ€ Nyktos offered.

I glanced at him, feeling a tug in my chest as our gazes collided. โ€œI would like to stay here until we know if the Fates will answer. I donโ€™t wantโ€ฆโ€

I didnโ€™t want to go back to my chamber. I didnโ€™t want to be alone. I had too much in my headโ€”too much inside of me.

A silence fell over the room, and I closed my eyes. I didnโ€™t remember falling asleep, but I mustโ€™ve dozed off. The next thing I knew, I felt a soft touch on my cheekโ€”aย poke. Blinking open my eyes, I realized that my head was lying on Nyktosโ€™ thigh, and I was staring into the crimson-hued eyes of a young boy, maybe nine or ten years old with shaggy, sandy blond hair.

Crimson eyes with thin, vertical pupils. โ€œHi,โ€ the child said.

โ€œHello,โ€ I whispered.

His head tilted, his small, elfin face perplexed. โ€œI thought you were dead.โ€

What theโ€ฆ? โ€œYouโ€™re not.โ€

โ€œNo?โ€ At least, I didnโ€™t think I was.

โ€œBoth of you sleep,โ€ the boy stated with a nod of his head. โ€œHe didnโ€™t hear me enter. Heย alwaysย hears me.โ€

Nyktos stirred, apparently hearing him then. His thigh tensed under my cheek.

Jerking sideways, I placed my hands on the cushions and unfurled my legs. The child watched me with a very serious expression for someone so young.

โ€œReaver,โ€ Nyktos said, voice rough with sleep. โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€

I nearly choked on my breath as I stared at the light-haired boy, trying to reconcile the sight of him as a draken with that of a child. It was somehow odder than seeing Jadis briefly as a little girl.

โ€œI was watching you all sleep,โ€ Reaver answered. My lips pursed.

โ€œIโ€™m sure thatโ€™s not the only thing you were doing,โ€ Nyktos replied, leaning forward. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hair slide over his

cheek. โ€œYou must have a reason for being in here.โ€

โ€œI do.โ€ He stood straight in his sleeveless tunic and loose pants, the same gray color as the tunics Nektas often wore. โ€œNektas sent me to get you. Heโ€™s in the throne room.โ€

โ€œOkay. Weโ€™ll be there in a minute.โ€

Reaver nodded curtly and then glanced at me. โ€œBye.โ€

โ€œBye.โ€ I gave him an awkward wave I wasnโ€™t even sure he saw as he darted from the room on small, fast legs. โ€œHe isโ€ฆโ€

โ€œIntense?โ€

A strangled laugh left me. โ€œYeah.โ€ I scooted to the edge of the settee. โ€œSorry,โ€ I mumbled, thinking he probably didnโ€™t appreciate me using him as a pillow. โ€œAbout sleeping on you.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s okay,โ€ Nyktos said after a moment, and I looked over at him. He was staring ahead, his expression unreadable. โ€œI didnโ€™t mean to sleep, but you needed the rest. Both of us did.โ€ He rose then, looking down at me. โ€œIf Nektas sent him, that means the Fates answered.โ€

My heart tripped over itself, and I stood so rapidly I got dizzy. I stepped back, bumping into the settee.

Nyktos reached out, placing his hand on my arm. โ€œAre you okay?โ€ โ€œYes.โ€

His eyes searched mine. โ€œDo you have a headache?โ€ โ€œN-No. I think I just stood up too fast.โ€

Nyktos stared down at me. โ€œI think itโ€™s the blood.โ€ A muscle ticked along his jaw. โ€œToo much has been taken from you. Your body hasnโ€™t had a chance to replenish.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m fine,โ€ I insisted as I started to step away but stopped, taking in the tightness of his features. โ€œDonโ€™t feel bad about feeding from me.โ€

He was quiet.

โ€œYou needed the blood. Iโ€™m glad I could do that for you,โ€ I told him. โ€œIf Iโ€™m a little dizzy because of blood loss, thatโ€™s on Taric. Not you.โ€

Still, he said nothing.

I was starting to feel a bit foolish. Perhaps I had misread him. โ€œAnyway, I just wanted to make that clear. We should get goingโ€”โ€

The only warning I got was the scent of citrus and fresh air. I hadnโ€™t even seen him close the distance between us, but I felt his palm against my cheek, and his mouth on mine in the same heartbeat.

Nyktos kissed me.

The feel of his lipsโ€”hisย warmย lipsโ€”was a heady shock, and the way he tugged at my lower lip with his fangs sent tiny, hot shivers through me. I opened for him, kissing him back just as fiercely as his mouth moved against mine. The way he kissed me was hard, demanding. Claiming. He sent my senses spinning. I was dizzy again, but this time, it was all because of him. The kiss left me rattled, and I didnโ€™t want him to stop. I started to reach for himโ€”

Nyktos lifted his mouth from mine and stepped back, his hand lingering on my cheek before falling away. He looked as shaken as I felt, his features stark, eyes a storm of eather, his chest moving in deep, rapid breaths.

โ€œThatโ€ฆโ€ Nyktos swallowed, briefly closing his eyes. When they reopened, the eather had slowed. โ€œThat changes nothing.โ€

 

 

Nyktosโ€™ words lingered just like his kiss did as we left his office and walked to the throne room.

There was a twisting motion in my chest as if someone had reached inside and started squeezing my heart. But there was something else at my core. Something small and faint that reminded me of hope. I didnโ€™t know what to make of either emotion, but as we neared the chamber, I shoved those feelings aside to dwell on later.

Rhahar and Ector stood at the archway of the chamber. They were not alone. An unfamiliar man stood with them, his sandy-blond hair brushing broad shoulders adorned in a belted, light gray tunic. His face was weathered and sun-warmed. Beside him stood a goddess. I knew what she was at once. It was the ethereal quality of her features and the faint luminous glow under her light brown skin. Her hair was the color of honey, a few shades lighter than the gown she wore, and her eyes were the brightest blue Iโ€™d ever seen. As we approached, the man placed a hand over his heart and bowed at the waist, as did the goddess.

โ€œPenellaphe?โ€ Surprise filled Nyktosโ€™ tone.

โ€œHello, Nyktos.โ€ She straightened, stepping forward. She glanced briefly in my direction. โ€œItโ€™s been a while since weโ€™ve seen each other.โ€

โ€œToo long,โ€ he confirmed. โ€œI hope all is well?โ€

โ€œI am.โ€ Penellapheโ€™s smile was brief, fading as she looked at me again. Nyktos followed her gaze. โ€œThis isโ€”โ€

โ€œI know who she is,โ€ Penellaphe cut in, and my brows lifted. โ€œShe is why Iโ€™m here.โ€

โ€œI am?โ€

She nodded, looking back to Nyktos. โ€œYou summoned the Arae.โ€ โ€œI did, butโ€ฆโ€

โ€œBut I am not the Arae. Youโ€™ll understand why Iโ€™ve come,โ€ she said, stepping back. Her hands clasped together. โ€œOne of the Arae waits inside for you. For both of you.โ€

Curiosity marked Nyktosโ€™ face as he looked over at me. I nodded and Penellaphe turned to the male. โ€œWait for us here?โ€ she asked.

โ€œOf course,โ€ he answered.

She inclined her head. โ€œThank you, Ward.โ€

I glanced over at him as we passed. I couldnโ€™t tell if he was a godling or a mortal, but I didnโ€™t see any aura in his eyes. Rhahar and Ector stepped aside as Penellaphe drifted past them. I quickened my pace as Nyktos looked back, his steps slowing. I caught up with him as we entered the now-candlelit chamber.

Nektas approached us, his long hair tied back, with Reaver at his side. โ€œThank you.โ€ Nyktos paused to clasp the drakenโ€™s shoulder.

โ€œWe will wait for you in the hall,โ€ Nektas said, nodding in my direction as he guided Reaver forward with a hand on the back of his head. โ€œWe will wait for both of you.โ€

A lump formed in my throat. I wasnโ€™t sure why. Perhaps it was because Nektas had acknowledged me. I swallowed hard, looking toward the thrones and the dais. Maybe I just needed more sleep orโ€”

Everything in me froze. My legs wouldnโ€™t move. My mind went blank because what I was seeingโ€”who I saw standing before the dais, bathed in the soft light of the candles and starsโ€”left me stunned. It made no sense. None at all. My eyes must have been playing tricks on me.

Because it couldnโ€™t be Sir Holland.

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