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Chapter no 5

Still Beating

THE DAYS GO BY SLOWย and torturous, but they go by.

We are still alive. Iโ€™m holding on to that.

Dean and I play โ€˜Twenty Questionsโ€™ to pass the time. He is winning by two games, which grates me. Iโ€™m a teacher, and Iโ€™m competitiveโ€ฆ especially with Dean. I blame it on the lack of nutrition and traumatic circumstances.

I am raped daily.

I expect it now, so the raw, blinding terror of it has subdued as much as it possibly can. Iโ€™m getting better and better at zoning out and turning it off.

Itโ€™s almost like an out-of-body experience. Dean talks me through it every time, and his voice is a solace in the back of my mind as I slip away.

Every day around five P.M., when Earl gets home from work, we get our bathroom breaks. Weโ€™re allowed to brush our teeth, then weโ€™re given turkey sandwiches with Miracle Whip on white bread and a full glass of water. After that, weโ€™re sent back down to our prison, shackled to our posts, and left to endure another night in the dark.

Dean sings me to sleep every night, and itโ€™s the only thing I look forward

to.

Take a sad song and make it better.

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