“Oh, my darling,” Margo stresses as she wrapped my waist by ripping a part of her dress.
I swallow, “I’m fine Margo. I just want to get out of here.”
“Adrianna, what the hell happened?” She asked while helping me up, “I’ll grab my keys.” Margo gets up.
I pull her back down, “No, I don’t want you coming with me. I want to be by myself for the rest of the night.”
She looked guilty, “You aren’t saying that just because Ben is here, are you?”
I smile, “I’m saying this to prove a point that I should’ve just stayed home.”
Margo nods, hugging me, “I’m so sorry I should’ve never ask you to come. This is my fault.” She looked at me, cupping my face. “But don’t you dare think you aren’t talking about cutting yourself on Tuesday at your appointment.”
“I’m not going.”
“Let’s table that conversation.” Margo was always adamant about getting me into talking about my problems and I couldn’t help but cooperate tonight.
“Grayson and I talked,” She gives me a warm smile. “I know, darling.”
I was sober. I hadn’t drank but my body felt as though it was hit by a massive truck, “Margo.”
I calmly said as she lifts my head up to look at her, “Anna?” She addresses.
I let a tear fall, not minding showing Margo my weaknesses, “I think I’m falling apart again.”
She shushes me, “I think you have to realize how far you’ve come and how strong and magical you are.”
“I screamed at him, and he said sorry.” I pulled away from her, “I wanted to…”
Margo interrupts me with a gaze of uncertainly, not really wanting to talk about it but knew that we had to, “Anna.”
I turn to look at her, “Yes?”
She frowns, scared to ask, “Do you love him?”
The small kisses that we had littered across each other’s faces, the kisses that we sent each other from the air, the hungry kisses he would envelope me with when we were alone. My breathy demand of “kiss me” when I was at his games.
Me throwing my arms around his neck, closely hugging him as he kissed the top of my head. Initially, I didn’t want to fall in love. Not at all. Falling in love was never in the damn plan for me, I wasn’t quite sure how I would handle it.
But at some point, he smiled, and I found my heart being dragged to love him. He came to me with flashing neon lights, red flags, and five billion warnings. But he already had the only living part of me before I could say no.
It wasn’t supposed to happen, I wasn’t supposed to even like him, but I did.
Damn it. I did.
Margo’s face came to my vision once more as I tilted my head. “Yes.”
“How much?” She asked with loving filled eyes that I tried to avoid. “Does it matter?”
“Why does it not?”
I sigh, I didn’t mean to fall in love, but I did. He didn’t mean to hurt me, but he did. And of course, I knew I loved him, I’ve been pushing it so deep down that it slipped out without me noticing. I wouldn’t have given Grayson the power to destroy me if I didn’t love him.
I looked at Margo once more, with a thin smile as she listened, and I knew I wasn’t going to get interrupted.
“I gave him every part of me, even the parts that I was ashamed of and yet I still watched him love and choose her at the end of the day. I waited and waited for him to tell me it was a joke, that he would never do that to me.”
“But the catch and explanation never happened,” I laugh, “The thing is, he told me in the beginning that he wanted her, it was the reason we got together remember?”
“His reason for being with me was always because of her,” I swallow, “I was prepared, but it still broke my heart.”
Margo kneels in front of me, “I didn’t think he hurt you this much.” She whispers as I look back at her, not really sure if my soul was still there.
Neither did I.
Margo pushed my hair back as I looked at her with full defeat, “I’d be his if he asked.” I mutter.
She closed her eyes and stroked my hair, “I know babe.”
Margo sat next to me, it was the first time to ever really see my real and raw emotions, she probably thought she was dreaming, “I hate this. I hate all of this.” I let out.
“I can’t stop crying like a damn baby. I never cry over a boy, Margo. All I ever do now is think about him and it’s making me damn crazy.”
She nods, “Anna, you—”
I interrupt her, “He’s not coming back, and I know that.” I said, “I know he isn’t coming back.”
“No, you don’t.” She argues as I turn my head to look at her, “I never understood why the universe brings two people together only to tear them apart, hoping that maybe they will find a way back to each other. It’s a cruel thing. It’s a cruel world.”
She stands, “But you. ” She signals at me, “You are the hardest thing that Grayson Prince had ever had to walk away from, do you understand me?”
“He walked away from the only thing that ever believed he was more than who he showed. He walked away still being madly falling for you.”
I stood up, “Coming here was a mistake and I shouldn’t have come. I’ve embarrassed myself Margo, and I’ve completely ruined my dress and date.”
“You can have my keys, and you can go home if you really want.”
I sigh, a breath of relief has finally left my chest, “This wasn’t supposed to happen you know, I wasn’t supposed to love him like I do.”
“I don’t think he was supposed to let himself have you in the first place Adrianna.”
She hands me her keys, I turn away ignoring her, pulling the keys to myself, “If two people can’t seem to stay away from each other, then maybe they shouldn’t.”
 |
I took the exit in the back of the ballroom. I didn’t want to disturb anyone else’s night and I surely didn’t want to show the whole guest list my bleeding waist.
I pulled my heels out of my feet so that I could walk through the grass
in the gardens faster. My luck was severely terrible as I ran into a certain redhead.
The flowers around me felt like they failed to flourish as soon as our eyes met.
“Fleeing the party?” August looks at me with a bland expression, I ran my hand on the dying rose that had wilted.
I wasn’t going to lie, she looked radiant, she always did, she was a natural type of beauty that glows in the sunlight. Grayson and her really did look great together, didn’t they?
Maybe that was how it was supposed to be, they were Romeo and Juliet,
and I was Romeo’s bitter ex, Rosaline.
I exhale, “I couldn’t stay another minute in there.” I answered as she turned her head to look at me.
She leaned against the stone wall looking up as if she was waiting for an angel, “You know, I’ve been out here for a good forty-five minutes, and Grayson hasn’t come to get me once.”
Maybe because we were stuck in a damn bathroom.
I swallow, “Maybe because he’s looking for you inside.”
She wipes the tears away from her cheeks, “He hasn’t been looking.”
“He’s been too busy looking at you.” She lets out as I bite my lip, “I don’t know why I thought I could replace you; it’s always been you.”
She laughs, “Grayson and I used to be perfect. There was laughter, so much laughter.” She looks at me, “So much love that he would make sure
that I would never go unnoticed, he vowed to never let me be alone.”
I stood there agape, not really sure on what to say to her, not really sure if there was anything to say, “But I broke his heart, I left him, and he found you.” She took a breath in.
“I hated you because you stole the heart of the most unobtainable man in Hawthorne. You took him, and it didn’t take long for me to see that Grayson needed you and you needed him. I was so naive because I thought I could replace what you two had.”
She glares at me, “I might have him physically, but we both know you will always have his heart at the end of the day.”
“August—” I cut her off, my heart breaking. She walks away from the wall, “I’m in no position to give you my opinion of your relationship with Grayson, it’s none of my business.”
“He picked you and that’s all we really needed to know. He wouldn’t cheat on you. He would be a faithful man and treat you like you are the world.”
“Sure, he can shower me with gifts, but that’s where it would end.”
“The love that Grayson and I share is different, he would always love me in some way, but it’s not the same as the love that he gives you. He gives you soul crushing love and affection.”
“I’m so sorry for ruining it.” She whispers as I nod.
“He thinks of you every day, I hope you know that even if you two only shared three real months together. You’ve taken a part of him that I can never get back.”
Then she laughs. Hard.
It was like a slap to the damn face, “You are such a fool, falling for my bullshit.”
“I grovel for his pieces.” She mutters, pulling out her hand. My heart stopped as her ring finger was adorned by a heavy Tiffany ring in 18k yellow gold and a beautiful rock in the middle. My chest stung. My heart felt heavy.
“Grayson bought that for you?” I asked weakly. She closed her eyes, “Yes.”
I turned away my hand on top of my mouth, trying hard not to let out a weak noise of sobs, “It’s a promise ring.”
“I wanted to show you before you saw it at school. Grayson and I are very much serious, and I want you to know that at the end of the day, I’m
the one in his bed,”
“You are the other woman.” She stood, “You don’t get to have him. And you will stop talking to him.” She continues, “There’s a reason why Grayson left you high and dry and came back straight to me and it’s better for you to know that he’s disgusted by you.”
My body felt a wave of pain, “You are pathetic. He doesn’t want someone that he has to baby, someone who he doesn’t have to worry about. He needs someone strong that doesn’t need to go to a therapist.”
“Did he say that?” I ask, not really sure why I did.
“Yes.” She sneered, “The cold hard truth is that you are a huge fucking piece of work. Grayson Prince has no time for your bullshit.”
She held a certain look of disdain, “That’s why he picked me.”
There it was again, the wave of pain that had hit me so damn hard. I didn’t even want to try and get up from the pain those words had caused me.
I felt like I was drowning and occasionally swimming up for air, and I couldn’t breathe anymore because I was so sick of trying.
“Good for you guys.” I smile thickly.
She looks at me, “Now I think that I have a date to get back to.” She interjects as I let out a heavy sigh. She let the door close behind her. I let my feet take me to the car, tears yet again falling down my face.
I let all the pinned-up anger that I stored inside me finally release as I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. My eyes shut close as I let my hand clam on the shift.
Blood rushed through my body as it roared in my ears, feeling my heart sprint though it’s pulses. My heart rapidly pounding I could barely hear anything.
I was done for. I was absolutely fucking done for. The air around me vibrated as my breath took a hitch.
Then I stopped breathing. On the verge of tears, I felt my whole body breaking and losing life. Just then, there was a crackling sound that filled the whole damn car. I envisioned the glass from the windows, the lights shattering and turning off.
My eyes stayed closed. I only saw pure red. I could only hear my heavy panting and my jaw trembling as I clenched my hands into fists, trying so hard not to scream.
I didn’t resist anymore. I screamed so loud that I lost my voice. My heart still squeezing tightly as tears began to stream down my soft and winded cheeks. I always knew that everything in my life was fucked, but it was heartbreaking that I wanted to die. It was one thing I wanted to lose myself. I wanted to just die.
So, I checked out every single space where I would leave pills. Sadly, I found some and I took eight of them. My heart slowing down as I close my eyes.
I turn on the car.
