“You don’t belong with someone like that Grayson.” My father mutters.
I shake my head, “You had no right.”
“I do. I’m your father.”
I stand up, thinking about really ramming my fist into his damn throat, “You didn’t give her a damn chance.”
“I let her stay here.” He screams at me, “You are being selfish. You have a damn duty to this family and being with a fucking Cassian is a waste of damn time.”
I shake his off, “You tend to forget about our deal.” He presses out as I swallow. I did not forget one bit. I thought about it every fucking night.
“The plan was for you to get with her and break her damn heart Grayson.” He buried his finger in my chest pushing me, “The plan was for you to break her damn heart, so she has a dramatic episode!” He walks over to me slamming his hand on his office desk.
“You were supposed to have her broken by now.” He sneers. “Things fucking change.” I get up pacing around the room.
“Do you want to play hockey Grayson?” He asks me as I pause. It was a sore subject. I wanted to ignore it.
I nod. I didn’t want to take over the business that he was shoving down my throat. If I dated Adrianna and broke her heart, he wasn’t going to force me to take the business.
“All of this because of a damn girl, Grayson!” He yells even more as I shook my head, “You fell for her.”
I look up at him, “This is why I had to do what I did.” He mutters.
I stand up, “What did you exactly do?”
He looks over to the floor as I walk up to him full of anger, “What the fuck did you do?”
“I forced August to break up with you.” He says plainly as my heart drops. “She needed the money desperately and I had it. My one condition was for her to end your relationship.”
I felt my blood pump faster in my veins, “She asked for me back yesterday.”
My father simply grumbled, “Yes, I finally allowed her to, she loves you so much.”
Guilt. There it was. Fucking guilt.
I fell in love with a different woman when August had only broke up with me because she needed money desperately. I shake my head, wanting everything to make sense.
“She watched you with another woman while she had to feed her whole family knowing that she couldn’t have you.” My father says thickly as I felt my heart hurt a bit more.
“You owe her yourself, Grayson.” He continues as I swallow.
I stand quietly, my heart thumping out of control. “That’s not fucking fair.” I mutter running my hand through my hair.
He smirks, “Of course it is.”
“You loved August before you ever thought about Adrianna.”
False. I’ve loved Adrianna the moment I fucking saw her as much as I hated her.
“You only got with Adrianna because of the deal we made so that you can continue hockey, not to take the business and to make August jealous.” He continues as I close my eyes.
“You falling for her was never part of the damn deal Grayson!” He walks up to me, shaking my body as I nod.
I had no excuse. I was a man of my word.
“If you are picking her over your damn dreams of playing hockey, then don’t ever ask me why you are miserable with taking over the business.”
I licked my lips, as he took a bottle of whiskey, downing it in one sip. “I want to see her heart broken and I want August on your arm at the Winter Charity ball.” He instructs as I take a breath.
I look at him with a sneer, “Yes.” “Yes what?” He turns around.
I swallow, “Yes, father.”
I look at his picture when he used to play hockey. I never understood why he had such a hate for the sport now. Everyone told me he was a natural.
I had a month before the Winter Charity ball, which meant that I didn’t have to end things with Adrianna until then. I reach for my phone looking for her number, she didn’t pick up, as it went straight to voicemail.
I had suspected that her father had taken her phone away from her, so I reached plan B.
I called Margo who got Adrianna out of the house I sneak out of the bushes, the thorns prickling me.
Her face beams when she sees me. Margo rolling her eyes, “I’ll give you guys five minutes.” She whispers while walking away.
“Can I talk to you?” I ask as she looks at me, I lead her to sit on a bench out front.
“Grayson, you don’t have to—” She mutters.
I interrupt, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to explain anything to me if you’re not ready.”
She looks at me plainly, I wipe her tears with my finger, “I’m just… I’m so embarrassed.” She says as I smile.
“You don’t ever have to be embarrassed with me,” I sigh looking at her, “You would’ve made fun of me because of this.”
“Sure, I would’ve.” I let on as she stood, “But I hate seeing you cry, Dove.”
“My father is an ass.” I continue while standing, “You understand I’m never allowed in your house ever again. My father forbids it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, “You don’t think I have a secondary plan?” I raise my eyebrows, pulling out a pair of keys.
“You bought a car.” She asks with a confused face. “No, a house.”
“A house?” Her eyes widen.
I smile, “Yeah, if you can’t come to my house, and your father would hate it if I was ever at yours. There’s a house that we can both stay at, of course, you would have to agree.”
I let my lips quirk up, she’s beaming I throw her hands around my shoulders as I pick her up hugging her.
“I told you, no one, especially our parents will ever break us apart.” I place a kiss on her face, still tasting the salty tears that fell from her eyes prior.
I felt my heart break for Adrianna and me. Our time was limited, and I knew it. She wasn’t allowed to know this.
I just wish she would forgive me once it happens. I trace a tiny heart on her back I was going to savor every fucking moment of this.
“You deserve better.” I whispered to her.
She shakes her head, “That’s where your wrong, Prince. You’re all I want.” She places her head on my chest.
She felt warm and familiar, so safe like a forbidden home. I wanted to cling onto her for the rest of my life, but it wasn’t fair. I swear her whole face lit up like the damn sun when I told her about us staying together.
I just imagined how her golden eyes would look like when I ended stuff. I was dreading these next few weeks. I was dreading leaving home.
ADRIANNA
O ne month later.
After school Grayson always had hockey practice or a game, we would then meet up at the cute house that he had purchased for
me and him to spend time together.
It was romantic.
Grayson and I were very sexually compatible, the past month there had been nothing but banter, hot sex, and just being with each other.
We had just finished for a third time. My body was relaxed and tired. Grayson’s stamina from hockey was something I thanked God every day for. He walks in with a smirk on his face.
I attempt to get up before my knees buckle almost falling to the ground the bed catches me, I sigh.
“My favorite thing to look at is you freshly fucked laying on my bed asking for more.”
I looked up at him, he looked majorly unaffected.
“Yes, well, that’s the last for today.” I laugh.
He crawls on the bed next to me. “I don’t really believe in never.” I roll my eyes, “Well, I don’t believe in always.”
Grayson’s body traps me as I smile, his face lowers to kiss my lips gently. “Opposites attract, Dove.” He says with a smug face.
I raise an eyebrow, pushing him off me a bit, “Never.”
Grayson pull me over on top of himself, I was now straddling his hips, “Always.”
He beams as I place my head on his chest, I found that this was my favorite endearment that Grayson and I had done.
“Can you breathe?” I look up at his closed eyes.
“I can’t breathe when I’m around you.” He mutters as I laugh.
I look outside seeing snow fall on the ground my face beams with happiness as he looks over to the window, “I’ve always wanted to get kissed in the rain,” I smile while still looking out the window.
Grayson looks at me with a dumb expression like I was delusional, “It’s snowing.”
I roll my eyes, “ No shit… but it’s different. It makes it more magical… more like us.”
I pause, pulling myself and my weak body out of the bed, putting on a jacket, my sweatpants. I pulled Grayson up as he was already dressed for the cold weather; I pulled him outside.
His eyes staring into mine as the snow falls on the tip of my nose, I blow it away. My very own prince charming twirls around me as the snows spirals around us. He places his hands on both my cheeks and pulls me in for a magical kiss.
He bends down, reaching for my butt only to pull me up so that he could carry me. He kisses me like space and time were colliding. Like I was a centimeter off a damn cliff. He pulled me in like he was hanging on to me. He caressed my face like he was starving, and I was the only meal in the world left. I’ve never felt this good. I’ve never felt so damn alive. This is the first time that I’ve ever felt anything, but hunger and I didn’t know what
I would do just to keep it that way.
I didn’t want Grayson in moderation. I wanted all of him. He kissed me, and all my body ever did was slowed down, like I wasn’t running after anything anymore. Every muscle in my body took its time to relax.
He grabs my waist closer to his, with shaking fingers. He wasn’t cold, he was in his habitat. He was gentle but rough. I was happy that Grayson treated me like I wasn’t some delicate flower, that I could be more than just a fragile vase.
Grayson Prince terrified me because I couldn’t imagine what life would’ve been like if we hadn’t taken a chance. He swallows, I look at him, snowflakes rest on his lashes, his chest heaving. He was breathless as he placed his head on mine, and I was in euphoria.
My person. My savior.
He put me down. His lips sinking on mine once more as he looked up at the night sky, it was only us.
And I wish I would stay like this forever, but it didn’t. It couldn’t, I would have to go home in a couple of minutes and sleep on my bed. I would wake up and go to school ignoring him.
We wished it was different, but it wasn’t. We had our own separate lives that we simply had to live without each other.
I thought I could handle it, but nothing in my life could’ve prepared me from the utter heartbreak that ensued within our story.
Nothing.
 |
Four days later.
He hasn’t called me. He hasn’t texted me. He hasn’t asked me to hang out after his practices.
Ghosting by definition is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.
Grayson Prince has been ignoring me for four days, almost five. No eye contact in the halls, no mischief smirking at me from across the classroom.
I wish I had enough courage to be honest with him and tell him how exactly it rips my heart apart when he ignores me. But I couldn’t. I was no strong woman when it came to him. Instead, I stay silent wondering what I’ve done to deserve it.
But I went to the hockey game, seeing him shine as always, I tried to make sure I wasn’t really there. I just came to pick up the jacket that Margo borrowed from me.
I hated being in the hockey arena now, the reminder that Grayson was completely okay with ignoring me. His family in the stands, Amelia wasn’t present, and I frowned.
August front row, yelling his name and cheering on the whole team. Of course, my sleeve gets caught on the damn wooden cubby. I pulled it away seeing that my sweater was now ruined.
Margo runs towards me with a wild smile, “Great you’re here!” She hugs me as I wrap my arms around her.
“Yes well, I heavily need that jacket.”
She rolls her eyes, “I don’t know why you don’t come to the games anymore. You know your Grayson’s lucky charm.” She winks.
Margo, of course, doesn’t know my issues with Grayson. The only thing she really knows is that publicly we weren’t allowed to be together.
And now, I’m guessing privately too.
The buzzer makes a loud noise as the players rush out of the rink to walk into the locker room, I found Grayson’s blonde hair. And his eyes couldn’t help but find mine as well.
He saw me see him. And I saw him see me.
His eyes retract back on the floor as if I wasn’t there. My eyes caught his stick, my initials weren’t there anymore, and I felt my heart break.
If I had done something, I wanted to know what. But instead, I stayed thinking that I really hadn’t done something to earn his cold shoulder and he just grew to despise me again.
But as I promised myself, I wouldn’t give up on Grayson. I certainly wouldn’t give up on us. I was lying to myself if I told myself that I didn’t want to run into his arms when I saw him for a second.
I frown, Margo’s eyes never leaving mine. I couldn’t hide it anymore and this proved it. “Did I miss something?” Her voice a bit concerned as I sighed.
“Grayson has been ignoring me.” I mutter as her mouth drops. “Why?” Her eyes widened like she had just seen a ghost.
I shrug, “I don’t know.”
Margo begins to speak as I block her out, looking around to see Liam walking over with a wide smile. I couldn’t help but smile at the stories
Margo would tell me about her helping him with his physical therapy.
“Miss Cassian! What are you doing over here?” Liam walks over slowly.
I roll my eyes, “I’m not here long, just to grab my jacket.”
Liam frowns, “Not staying for the rest of the game?” He asked sounding quite disappointed.
I look around, “I don’t think I’m needed here.”
Liam laughs gently, “Nonsense, your Grayson’s lucky charm.” My eyebrows furrow at the thought, “I highly doubt that.” I laugh. He shakes his head, “I’m serious!”
Neil walks out with a bottle of water, “You forgot your bottle dipshit.” He interrupts as I smile at him.
Neil pauses to catch my gaze, his annoyance to his teammate disappears as he flashes a smile at me.
I nod, to acknowledge him.
Neil nods back, then he tilts his head, “You here for Grayson?” My eyes widen in fear, “No.” I say flatly.
“You know you don’t have to be scared of your boyfriend anymore, right?” He comments as I coughed out the lump lodged in my throat.
He nods, looking at me knowingly, “Ohh.”
He smiles thinly, “I get it. You and Grayson are going to your small house after the game, and you wanted to let him know that you’ll be waiting.”
Neil tilts his head with an amused look.
I roll my eyes, “If you know what I mean.” He winks annoyingly.
I couldn’t help but smile, “Well, if he wouldn’t mind, just tell him I’ll wait for him?” My jaw hardens as Neil nods, walking back into the locker room.
Acid burns in my throat as I try to swallow it down, I turn sharply to Margo, “I’m going to head out.” I say quickly.
She nods, “Call me when you get home!”
I looked down at the floor. I couldn’t afford to make eye contact with anyone else, feeling like I was getting judged for being at a damn hockey game.
As soon as I ran outside, I couldn’t help but lean against the cold brick wall, looking around to see if anyone else was outside, I closed my eyes.
Quieting down the voice in my head that I hadn’t gotten a break from since Grayson’s cold shoulder.
Grayson was avoiding me like I was some type of plague. I couldn’t help but feel like it was bound to happen. I still didn’t want to believe it.
The moment I would accept it was I moment I didn’t want to ever imagine.
I took a breath; I could feel my whole throat constrict as I swallow. I suppose I could pretend like everything was okay and it would be. But I wasn’t the type to always look at the good parts of life.
I got in my car, driving over to the small house. My bottom lip begins to shake as I kept the tears in from falling. I sigh, frustrated, I pull my body out of the car, taking out my keys.
I open the door, only to throw my bag and jacket on the chair next to the front door. I didn’t think about where I wanted to go, only let my legs take me to wherever they thought I should be.
This was my routine. It used to be Grayson and I’s routine. But for the past four days, I’ve come to the house hoping that maybe one day he would come through the front doors with an explanation.
But as I laid on the bed, tears falling from the sides of my eyes, I lost more hope. I laid there with the lights off, my body heating up the whole bed. I was losing him, and I felt it in my stomach.
The sinking feeling got worse as I laid down for longer. I knew I wasn’t going to be okay for a duration of time. I lost him and I didn’t even know why.
But I should get used to people I love leaving me without a word, right? It happens over and over again; I should’ve called it this time. I open my eyes to see the world spinning around quickly.
It got harder and harder to breathe. I couldn’t figure out how to breathe like I used to. But I had to get over it.
To get a fucking grip.
|
kept going back to the house, hoping that one day he would come. But he didn’t, as if he didn’t intend to give me any reason or explanation. My heart
I broke a little more each day I waited.
He was back to being Grayson Prince. Ladies surrounding him, his social media filled with videos and pictures of him, drinking and getting wasted.
I still held hope that he would come back. I arrived at the house every
night. Like a damn coward, I kept coming back every damn night.
Whether it was raining. Snowing.
Sleeting.
I was there because I prayed for him to come back to me. But he never came. I began to tire my hopes, not really sure if I had any more energy to keep waiting for something I knew wasn’t going to happen.
So, I stopped coming. I stopped using the keys. I stayed at my home. I went to school, put on the brave face I had before him. I ruled with an iron fist while everyone was more terrified than ever.
And there it was, my body breaking from rhythm. From finally learning how to love myself a bit more every day.
I started to wake up, wishing I hadn’t. Back to square one.
