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Chapter no 20 – CARPOOL CONFESSIONS

Things We Hide from the Light (Knockemout Series, 2)

Nash

I was still pissed off over the breakfast ambush by the time I made it to the station. I didnโ€™t know who I was more angry with: Lucian for overstepping, Knox for being a stubborn asshole, or Lina for still

holding back on me when Iโ€™d been nothing but honest with her.

Sheโ€™d texted three times saying she wanted to talk.

My guess was she was worried about what Lucian told me. Right now, I was in the mood to let her worry.

Or maybe this roiling inner rage was directed at myself.

At this point, it didnโ€™t really matter. Everyone was pissing me off. โ€œYouโ€™re supposed to tell me where youโ€™re gonna be, Morgan.โ€

I turned around and found an equally irate-looking U.S. marshal storming up the sidewalk toward the stationโ€™s side door.

I was not in the mood. โ€œIโ€™m already pissed off at two assholes who dragged me out of bed this morning. I were you? I wouldnโ€™t be in a hurry to add your name to that list.โ€

โ€œLook, shithead. Iโ€™m not happy about this assignment either. You think Iย likeย camping out inย Deliveranceย banjo territory watching your ungrateful back for some threat that probably doesnโ€™t even exist?โ€ Nolan snapped back.

โ€œGee, Iโ€™m sorry youโ€™re bored, Graham. Do you want a coloring book and some crayons? Iโ€™ll pick some up when I go get you a thank-you card and fucking balloons.โ€

Nolan shook his head. โ€œChrist, youโ€™re a dick. If I hadnโ€™t seen you dealing with those kids yesterday and making that fuckhead cop piss his pants, Iโ€™d think the condition was permanent.โ€

โ€œYeah, well, maybe it is.โ€

To illustrate my point, I didnโ€™t hold the door for him.

I acknowledged the round of โ€œMorninโ€™, Chief,โ€ with a curt nod as I headed straight for my office where I could shut the damn door on the whole damn world.

No one said anything to Nolan when he stomped in after me.

โ€œWhereโ€™s Piper?โ€ Grave asked, holding up a bag of the pet shopโ€™s gourmet doggie treats.

Fuck.

Lina had the dog. I might not have wanted the damn dog, but I sure as hell wasnโ€™t going to let Lina keep her.

โ€œSheโ€™s with a neighbor,โ€ I said.

Officer Will Bertle stopped me just shy of my door. He was the first Black officer Iโ€™d hired as chief. Soft-spoken and unflappable, he was well- liked in the community and respected in the department. โ€œYouโ€™ve got a visitor, Chief. Heโ€™s waiting for you in your office,โ€ he said.

โ€œThanks, Will,โ€ I said, trying to tamp down my exasperation. The world did not seem inclined to leave me the hell alone today.

I headed into my office and stopped short when I spotted my visitor. โ€œDad?โ€

โ€œNash. Itโ€™s good to see you.โ€

Duke Morgan had once been the strongest, funniest man Iโ€™d known. But the years had all but erased that man.

You didnโ€™t have to look far past the clean, baggy clothes, the neatly trimmed hair and beard, before seeing the truth of the man in my visitors chair.

He looked older than his sixty-five years. His skin was weathered and lined from years of neglect and exposure to the elements. He was too thin, a shadow of the man who had once carried me on his shoulders and tossed me effortlessly into the creek. His blue eyes, the same shade as mine, had bags under them, slashes of purple so dark they almost looked like bruises.

His fingers nervously traced the stitching on his pants over and over again. It was a tell Iโ€™d learned to recognize as a kid.

Despite my best efforts to save him, my father was a homeless addict.

That failure never got easier for me to stomach.

I was tempted to turn around and walk out the door. But just as I recognized the tell, I also recognized the need to confront the bad. It was part of my job, part of who I was.

I unhooked my belt and hung it and my jacket on the coatrack behind my desk before sitting. We Morgans werenโ€™t huggers and for good reason. Years of disappointments and trauma had made physical affection between us a foreign language. Iโ€™d always promised myself that when I had my own family, it would be different.

โ€œHow are you doing?โ€ I asked.

Duke rubbed absentmindedly at the spot between his eyebrows. โ€œGood.

Thatโ€™s kind of why Iโ€™m here.โ€

I braced for the ask. For the no Iโ€™d have to deliver. Iโ€™d stopped giving him money a long time ago. Clean clothes, food, hotel rooms, treatment, yes. But Iโ€™d learned early on exactly where cash went as soon as he got his hands on it.

It didnโ€™t make me angry anymore. Hadnโ€™t in a long time. My dad was who he was. There was nothing I could do to change that. Not getting better grades. Not performing on the football field. Not graduating with honors. And definitely not handing him money.

โ€œIโ€™m going away for a little while,โ€ he said finally, stroking a hand over his beard.

I frowned. โ€œYou in trouble?โ€ I asked, already jiggling my computer mouse. I had an alert set for if and when his name popped up in the system.

He shook his head. โ€œNo. Nothinโ€™ like that, son. Iโ€™m, uh, starting a rehab program down south.โ€

โ€œReally?โ€

โ€œYeah.โ€ He ran his palms over his knees and back up his thighs. โ€œBeen thinkinโ€™ about it for a while. Havenโ€™t used in a bit and Iโ€™m feelinโ€™ pretty good.โ€

โ€œHow long is a bit?โ€ I asked.

โ€œThree weeks, five days, and nine hours.โ€ I blinked. โ€œOn your own?โ€

He nodded. โ€œYeah. Felt like time for a change.โ€

โ€œGood for you.โ€ I knew better than to be hopeful. But I also knew what effort it took for an addict to get to this mental space.

โ€œThanks. Anyway, itโ€™s a different kind of place than the ones I did before. Comes with some counseling, medical treatment plans. Even get a social worker to help with after. Theyโ€™ve got outpatient support programs, job placement.โ€

โ€œThat sounds like itโ€™s got potential,โ€ I said.

I wasnโ€™t optimistic. Not with him and not with rehab. Too many disappointments over the years. Iโ€™d learned that having expectations where he was concerned only guaranteed my own disappointment. So I made it a point to always meet him where he was, not where I wanted him to be. Not where heโ€™d once been.

It helped me in my job too. Treating victims and suspects with respect, not judgment. Despite the fact that heโ€™d turned into a toxic father figure, Duke Morgan had made me a better cop. And for that, I was grateful.

โ€œYou need anything before you go?โ€

He shook his head slowly. โ€œNope. Iโ€™m all set. Got my bus ticket here,โ€ he said, patting his front pocket. โ€œI leave this afternoon.โ€

โ€œI hope itโ€™s a good experience for you,โ€ I said and meant it.

โ€œIt will be.โ€ He reached into the same pocket and pulled out a business card. โ€œHereโ€™s the number and address of the place. Theyโ€™ll limit phone calls to emergencies for the first few weeks, but you can send lettersโ€ฆif you want.โ€

He put the card faceup on my desk and slid it toward me.

I picked up the card, looked at it, then pocketed it. โ€œThanks, Dad.โ€

โ€œWell, Iโ€™d best be gettinโ€™ on,โ€ he said, getting to his feet. โ€œGotta see your brother before I hit the road.โ€

I rose. โ€œIโ€™ll walk you out.โ€

โ€œNot necessary. I donโ€™t wanna embarrass you in front of your department.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re not an embarrassment, Dad.โ€ โ€œMaybe in a few months I wonโ€™t be.โ€

I didnโ€™t know what to do with that. So I clapped him on the shoulder and squeezed.

โ€œYou healing up okay?โ€ he asked.

โ€œYeah. Itโ€™s gonna take more than a couple of bullets to keep me down,โ€ I said with feigned confidence.

โ€œSome things are tougher than others to get over,โ€ he insisted, those blue eyes locking on to mine.

โ€œSome things are,โ€ I agreed. Bullet holes and broken hearts.

โ€œI didnโ€™t do right by you and your brother.โ€

โ€œDad, we donโ€™t have to get into this. I understand why things happened the way they did.โ€

โ€œI just wish I woulda kept trying to look to the light instead of sinking into the dark,โ€ he said. โ€œA man can learn to live in that dark, but itโ€™s no life.โ€

 

 

I spent the next hour reviewing case reports, time-off requests,

and budgets with my fatherโ€™s words echoing around in my head.

Maybe the dark was an empty, meaningless existence, but it was the light that could burn you. I needed something from Lina that she didnโ€™t seem willing to give. Something that was as essential to me as oxygen.ย Honesty.

Sure, sheโ€™d shared bits and pieces. But what she did share was shaded and spun to tell the kind of story she wanted. Sheโ€™d made it seem like sheโ€™d run into Lucian and had a benign conversation with him. She hadnโ€™t told me that my oldest friend had hunted her down and threatened her over the time sheโ€™d been spending with me.

I was almost as pissed off about the fact that sheโ€™d decided to handle it on her own as I was over Lucianโ€™s overprotective, asinine actions.

But despite the fact that I knew for sure that Lina wasnโ€™t telling me the whole truth, I felt something I couldnโ€™t identify, something a hell of a lot like need. And the scales wouldnโ€™t be balanced unless she needed me back.

Something Lina Solavita wasnโ€™t programmed to do.

Something I wasnโ€™t prepared to deliver on. Who would need me in this state? I was a fucking mess.

Hell, Iโ€™d just spelled my name wrong signing a PTO request. โ€œFuck,โ€ I muttered and shoved away from my desk.

I was too restless to hide from the world. I needed to do something that felt productive.

I grabbed my jacket and belt off the hook and headed out into the bullpen.

โ€œHeaded out,โ€ I said to the room in general. โ€œIโ€™ll bring back lunch from Dinoโ€™s if yโ€™all text me your orders. My treat.โ€

There was a flutter of excitement that all cops got at the thought of free food.

I paused at Nolanโ€™s desk. โ€œFeel like takinโ€™ a ride?โ€

โ€œDepends. You gonna take me out to the woods and leave me for the banjos?โ€

โ€œProbably not today. Thinkinโ€™ about paying an inmate a visit.โ€ โ€œIโ€™ll get my coat.โ€

 

 

โ€œWhatโ€™s with the change of heart?โ€ Nolan asked as I hit the

highway.

โ€œMaybe I just want to save the environment by carpooling.โ€

โ€œOr maybe youโ€™re in the mood to have a chat with Tina Witt and you donโ€™t want to get any of your officers in trouble with the feds.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re not as dumb as that mustache makes you look,โ€ I said.

โ€œMy wifeโ€”ex-wifeโ€”was really intoย Top Gun,โ€ he said, running his finger and thumb over the โ€™stache.

โ€œThe things we do for women.โ€ โ€œSpeaking ofโ€”โ€

โ€œYou mention Linaโ€™s name and I will leave you for the banjos,โ€ I warned.

โ€œNoted. What about her friend? The blond librarian?โ€ โ€œSloane?โ€ I asked.

โ€œShe single?โ€

I thought about Lucian this morning at breakfast. A slow, vengeful smile spread over my face. โ€œYou should ask her out.โ€

We rode in silence until I took the exit for the prison.

โ€œThose kids yesterday,โ€ Nolan said. โ€œYou talked the manager out of pressing charges.โ€

โ€œI did.โ€

โ€œThen you kicked the ass of Officer Fuckhead.โ€

โ€œYou got a point rattlinโ€™ around in there somewhere, Graham?โ€

He shrugged. โ€œJust saying you donโ€™t suck at your job. Some local lawmen would have thrown the book at the kids and let that officer slide.โ€

โ€œMy town saw enough of the good olโ€™ boy style of leadership. They deserve better.โ€

โ€œGuess youโ€™re smarter than those bullet holes make you look.โ€

 

 

The Bannion Womenโ€™s Correctional Facility was a standard medium-security prison, situated in a remote location, encircled by tall fences, miles of barbed wire, and guard towers.

โ€œYou planning to run and snitch to the feds about this?โ€ I asked, maneuvering into a parking spot near the entrance.

โ€œDepends on how things unfold,โ€ Nolan said, releasing his seat belt. โ€œIโ€™m coming in.โ€

โ€œLess trouble for you if you stay out of what Iโ€™m doing in there.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ve got nothing but time to ponder how many guys are lining up to hit on my ex since she moved to DC, and wait for some petty criminal to ask you to dance again. Iโ€™m coming in.โ€

โ€œSuit yourself.โ€

โ€œHave you gotten anything useful out of her yet?โ€ he asked.

โ€œNope. This is my first visit.โ€

He shot me a look. โ€œSeems like Studly Do-Right takes orders to heart.โ€

โ€œI was really hoping that nickname would fade away.โ€

โ€œNot a chance. But seriously, Idler tells you to let the big girls and boys handle it and you just sit tight? If I were in your position, Iโ€™d be running my own investigation. These are local folks. Theyโ€™d be more likely to open up to you than to a bunch of feds.โ€

โ€œSpeaking of,โ€ I said, eyeing his department-issued suit. โ€œDitch the jacket and tie.โ€

Nolan tossed his jacket between the seats and rolled up his sleeves when a tall brunette walked out of the prison and into the parking lot.

โ€œYouโ€™ve got to be kidding me.โ€

โ€œWell, well, well. Seems like Investigator Solavita is up to something after all,โ€ my passenger remarked. โ€œWhat are the chancesโ€”โ€

โ€œZero in a million,โ€ I said, glaring at her reflection in my rearview mirror. I watched her hang up her phone and get into her car.

I pulled up Linaโ€™s last text on my phone. โ€œArenโ€™t you going to confront her?โ€ Nolan asked.

โ€œNope,โ€ I said, my thumbs moving across the screen.

Me: Lunch sounds good. Meet at Dinoโ€™s in ten? My phone rang a few seconds later. Lina. โ€œHey,โ€ I said, trying to keep my tone even.

โ€œHi,โ€ Lina replied.

โ€œIs Dinoโ€™s in ten okay?โ€ I asked, fully aware it wasnโ€™t. Nolan chuckled in the passenger seat.

โ€œActually, Iโ€™m out doing errands. Can I meet you in an hour?โ€

She was lying to my faceโ€”or rather, my ear. My blood pressure rose. โ€œI donโ€™t think Iโ€™ll be free then,โ€ I lied. โ€œWhat kind of errands are you running?โ€

โ€œOh, you know, just the usual. Groceries. Pharmacy.โ€ A stop at a womenโ€™s correctional facility.

โ€œHow did breakfast go this morning?โ€ she asked, switching the topic.

โ€œBreakfast was fine,โ€ I lied. โ€œPiper with Mrs. Tweedy?โ€

โ€œYeah. Sheโ€™s napping off her puppyccino on Mrs. Tweedyโ€™s couch.โ€

The woman had taken my dog for a treat and was now lying to me. Lina Solavita was infuriating.

โ€œHey, if you havenโ€™t been to the pharmacy yet, could you pick up a bottle of ibuprofen for me?โ€ I asked.

Weโ€™d both need it later.

โ€œSure! I can do that. No problem. Is everything okay?โ€ She sounded nervous. Good.

โ€œYep. Fine. Gotta go do cop stuff. See you later.โ€ I hung up.

Thirty seconds later, the cherry-red Charger zipped past us, exiting the parking lot with a squeal of tires.

I got out and slammed my door harder than necessary. Nolan got out and jogged to catch up.

โ€œThat was harsh, my friend,โ€ he said with a hint of amusement.

I grunted and pressed the intercom button outside the main entrance.

When the heavy door buzzed open, we entered a spotless lobby. Guards waved us through the metal detector and directed us to the front desk behind its protective glass. Iโ€™d been here before for hearings and interviews, but this time, it was personal.

โ€œWell, hello, gentlemen. What brings you to my fine establishment today?โ€ Minnie had been working the desk at this prison for as long as I could remember. Sheโ€™d been threatening to retire for the past five years but said her marriage wouldnโ€™t survive it.

The truth was, the prison would probably fall apart without her. She was a grandmotherly figure to inmates, visitors, and law enforcement alike.

I showed my badge. โ€œGood to see you again, Minnie. I need to see a list of all the visitors Tina Witt has had.โ€

โ€œMs. Witt sure is popular today,โ€ Minnie said, giving us a knowing look. โ€œLet me check with the boss lady and see what I can get you.โ€

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