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Chapter no 16 – A PAIR OF THANK-YOUS

Things We Hide from the Light (Knockemout Series, 2)

Nash

I

 

looped Piperโ€™s leash around my hand and grabbed one of the two bouquets out of my vehicleโ€™s cup holder.

โ€œCome on, Pipe. Quick stop.โ€

We got out on the street just as Nolan pulled up to the curb behind me. I threw him a sarcastic salute, which he returned with a half-hearted middle finger.

I was actually almost starting to like the guy.

Piper led the way up the walk to the duplex. It was a two-story brick- and-vinyl building. Both units had a small front porch and flower boxes.

I headed up the three steps to the door on the left. There was a gray-and- white cat crammed up against the screen in the front window. Classical music filtered out to me. I gave the skeptical cat a wave, then I stabbed the doorbell.

Piper sat at my feet, her tail wagging with enthusiasm. It wasnโ€™t as annoying as I thought it would be, having her at work with me. Her routine demands for attention kept me from spacing out over paperwork. And while she wasnโ€™t comfortable enough to let any of the other officers pet her yet, she had started taking hourly trips around the bullpen once she figured out they had treats for her in their pockets.

Footsteps sounded on the other side of the door along with an annoyed, โ€œIโ€™m coming. Iโ€™m coming. Hold your damn horses.โ€

The door opened and there she was. My guardian angel.

Xandra Rempalski had thick, curly hair. It was black with strands of violet woven throughout. She wore it half up in a lopsided topknot while the rest cascaded past her shoulders. She had tan skin and brown eyes that went from annoyed to curious to recognition.

Instead of scrubs, she was wearing a denim apron with hand tools and loops of wire stuffed in the pockets. Long, silver earrings made up of dozens of interconnected hoops dangled from her ears. Her necklace dripped with tiny chains that formed a V between her collarbones. It reminded me of chain mail.

โ€œHi,โ€ I said, suddenly feeling stupid I hadnโ€™t done this a long time ago. โ€œHi yourself,โ€ she replied, leaning against the doorframe.

The cat lazily threaded its way between her bare feet. Piper cowered behind my boots and pretended she was invisible.

โ€œI donโ€™t know if you remember meโ€”โ€

โ€œChief Nash Morgan, age forty-one, two gunshot wounds to the shoulder and torso, O negative,โ€ she rattled off.

โ€œI guess you do remember me.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not every night a girl finds the chief of police bleeding out on the side of the road,โ€ she said, flashing me a quick grin.

Piper chanced a peek around my boots. The tubby tabby hissed, then plopped its ass down in the doorway and started licking its butthole.

โ€œDonโ€™t mind Gertrude the Rude,โ€ Xandra said. โ€œSheโ€™s got attitude for days and no sense of propriety.โ€

โ€œThese are for you,โ€ I said, shoving the bouquet of sunflowers at her. โ€œI should have come by earlier to thank you. But things have beenโ€ฆโ€

She looked up from the flowers, the smile fading to a sympathetic grimace. โ€œItโ€™s tough. Seeing it on shift isnโ€™t easy. Iโ€™m sure living through it is no picnic.โ€

โ€œFeel like I should be kind of immune to it,โ€ I confessed, looking down at Piper, who had once again glued herself to the back of my legs.

Xandra shook her head. โ€œWhen you start being immune to it, thatโ€™s when itโ€™s time to get out. Itโ€™s the hurt, the caring that makes us good at our jobs.โ€

โ€œHow long have you been in the emergency department?โ€

โ€œSince I graduated with my RN. Eight years. Never a dull moment.โ€ โ€œEver wonder how long you can afford to care?โ€

Her smile was back. โ€œI donโ€™t worry about things like that. Itโ€™s one day at a time. As long as the good balances out the bad, Iโ€™m ready for the next day. Itโ€™s never gonna be easy. But we arenโ€™t doing this for ease. Weโ€™re doing it to make a difference. Things like this? A thank-you from one of the ones who made it? That goes a long way.โ€

I should have gotten her a card.

Or something that would last longer than a pile of sunflowers.

But I had nothing but words. So I gave her those. โ€œThank you for saving my life, Xandra. Iโ€™m never gonna be able to pay you back for that.โ€

She hitched the bouquet up on her hip. Her earrings caught the light and glittered. โ€œThatโ€™s why you just keep payinโ€™ it forward, Chief. One day at a time. Keep doing good. Keep balancing those scales.โ€

I hoped to hell removing Dilton from duty was a step in that direction. Because right now, like everything else I did, it felt like not nearly enough.

โ€œIโ€™ll do my best.โ€

โ€œYou know, having something besides the job helps. Something good. Me? I date inappropriate men and make jewelry,โ€ she said, sweeping a hand over her apron full of tools.

Right now, I felt like I didnโ€™t have a damn thing besides a needy foster dog and a hole or two that would never be healed.

There was a resounding crash next door followed by a loud, long wail. I jolted, my hand automatically moving to my service weapon.

โ€œDonโ€™t,โ€ Xandra cautioned briskly. She stowed the flowers and the cat inside and made a move to push past me.

โ€œYou need to get inside,โ€ I insisted, nearly tripping over Piper as I hurried down the steps. Nolan was hustling up the walk, his holster unsnapped.

โ€œWait! Itโ€™s my nephew. Heโ€™s nonverbal,โ€ Xandra explained, following me next door.

The details of her statement came back to me. Sheโ€™d been running late to work because sheโ€™d stayed to help her sister calm her nephew.

I paused and shared a look with Nolan. I let her pass me on the steps. โ€œHe has autism,โ€ she said, letting herself in her sisterโ€™s front door.

โ€œKeep the dog,โ€ I said, tossing Piperโ€™s leash to Nolan and following her inside.

My blood was still pumping, focus still narrowed. In the middle of the gray living room carpet was a manโ€”no, a boyโ€”curled on his side, hands covering his ears as he rocked and howled with a pain only he could feel. Next to him were the splintered remains of a toy brick castle.

โ€œThe cops? Really, Xan?โ€ A woman bearing a striking resemblance to Xandra knelt just out of range of the violent kicks from the boyโ€™s long, gangly legs.

โ€œVery funny,โ€ Xandra said dryly. โ€œIโ€™ll get the blinds.โ€

โ€œCan I do anything?โ€ I asked cautiously as Xandra quietly closed the curtains on the front windows.

โ€œNot yet,โ€ Xandraโ€™s sister said over her sonโ€™s plaintive screams. โ€œWe have a doctorโ€™s appointment in an hour. His headphones are charging.โ€

I stood inside the door feeling helpless while the two women worked in tandem to make the room darker, quieter. A protocol, I realized.

The wails soon quieted and the boyโ€™s mother slid a weighted kind of cape over his shoulders.

Before long, he sat up. He was tall for his age, with dark skin and the spindly limbs of early puberty.

He glanced at the ruined castle and let out a low moan.

โ€œI know, buddy,โ€ his mother said, carefully sliding an arm around his shoulders. โ€œItโ€™s okay. Weโ€™ll fix it.โ€

โ€œAmy, this is Chief Morgan,โ€ Xandra said. โ€œChief, this is my sister Amy and my nephew Alex.โ€

โ€œChief,โ€ Amy said as she rocked Alex in her arms. โ€œHi. I just came by to thank Xandra forโ€ฆโ€

โ€œSaving your life?โ€ she prompted with a small smile. โ€œYeah. That.โ€

โ€œSorry for the disturbance,โ€ she said, accepting the book Xandra handed to her.

โ€œNo apologies necessary.โ€

โ€œAnd you were worried how well your first interaction with the cops would go,โ€ Xandra teased her sister.

Amyโ€™s lips quirked again before she pressed a kiss to the top of her sonโ€™s head and began to read.

โ€œThatโ€™s another strategy. Laugh even when things arenโ€™t funny,โ€ Xandra said, handing me a fabric tote.

With Alex shooting looks of concern in my direction, I did my job and helped restore order, brick by brick.

When the room was clean and the story was over, I nodded to Amy and followed Xandra to the door. Alex got to his feet and slowly crossed to us. He was tall and broad-shouldered, and the grip of his hand on my arm was strong. But there was a sweet, little-boy smile on his face as he looked at my chest.

โ€œHe doesnโ€™t believe in personal space,โ€ Xandra warned in amusement.

Alex reached out and traced a finger over my badge, point to point to point. After heโ€™d traced the star twice, he nodded and released me.

โ€œNice to meet you too, Alex,โ€ I told him softly.

 

 

With my arms full, I gave the door two light kicks and waited.

It opened seconds later and everything in me went warm when I saw her. Lina wore leggings in a dark purple. Her sweater was a fleecy ivory that stopped an inch above the waist of her pants. A wide tie-dye headband held her hair back. She was barefoot.

โ€œEveninโ€™,โ€ I said, strolling across the threshold and dropping a kiss on her cheek. Piper followed me in and made a beeline for the couch.

โ€œWell, hello. Uh, whatโ€™s all this?โ€ she asked, closing the door behind

me.

I ducked into the kitchen and dumped the bags on the counter. โ€œDinner,โ€

I said.

She appeared in the doorway. โ€œThat doesnโ€™t look like the Thai takeout I was going to order.โ€

โ€œNot only beautiful but smart.โ€ I plucked the wildflowers out of one of the grocery totes. โ€œVase?โ€

She gestured at the bare countertops. โ€œDo I look like I have a vase lying around?โ€

โ€œWeโ€™ll make do.โ€ I started opening cabinet doors until I found an ugly plastic pitcher. I filled it with water, then shredded the plastic around the flowers. โ€œWildflowers because they reminded me of you,โ€ I explained. And because the lily of the valley reminded me of my mom.

Lina shot me one of those complicated woman looks before giving in and burying her face in the flowers.

โ€œThis is very sweet of you. Sweet but unnecessary,โ€ she said.

I noticed she was giving me a wide berth in the tiny space. It was cute that she thought she could rebuild those walls that had come down the night before.

โ€œMind gettinโ€™ Pipe a bowl of water while I start the prep?โ€

She hesitated for a second, then opened a cabinet and found an empty takeout bowl. โ€œYou really donโ€™t have to cook me dinner. I was a minute away from ordering food,โ€ she said as she turned the water on in the sink.

โ€œI had a long day,โ€ I said conversationally as I pulled a bottle of wine, a corkscrew, and two glasses out of one of the bags. โ€œAnd thanks to you, for the first time in a long while, I had the energy to deal with it.โ€ I opened the wine with a pop and set the bottle aside.

โ€œI heard something went down with one of your officers,โ€ she admitted, setting the water dish on the floor. โ€œMrs. Tweedy said you caught one of your guys stealing counterfeit bills out of evidence after they spent it at a strip club.โ€

โ€œI wish,โ€ I said.

Piper appeared in the doorway with a sports bra in her mouth. She spit the bra out in the bowl and drank around it.

โ€œCome on, Pipe. Stop eatinโ€™ laundry.โ€ I snatched up the bra. โ€œI believe this is yours.โ€

Lina took the bra and threw it on the counter next to the broccoli.

โ€œThen Neecey all but tackled me on the sidewalk in front of Dinoโ€™s,โ€ Lina said, hopping up to perch on the counter. โ€œShe told me you headbutted that no-good Tate Dilton in the candy aisle of the grocery store.โ€

โ€œI worry about this townโ€™s language comprehension sometimes.โ€

She smirked. โ€œNeecey also said she heard that you two wrestled into a canned soup pyramid and that the store manager found two cans of minestrone all the way over in the freezer section.โ€

โ€œIf you pour, Iโ€™ll tell you the real, much less eventful story.โ€ โ€œDeal.โ€

I filled her in on my day. All of it. It felt good. To share a kitchen. To share my day. Lina seemed genuinely interested. She sat on the counter and we talked as I sautรฉed chicken, peppers, and onions. Piper joined us with an endless parade of toys and laundry.

I had to stop myself over a dozen times from moving between Linaโ€™s legs, sending my hands sliding up her thighs, and going in for those pretty, red lips.

This connection I felt was real, tangible, and deep, but I didnโ€™t know how deep it went for her. And I wasnโ€™t about to scare her off with the level of my need for her.

โ€œWhy are there pajama pants in this bag? Is this some new age dessert I donโ€™t know about?โ€ she asked, poking around in the last tote.

โ€œYeah, about that,โ€ I began.

โ€œNash.โ€ My name was a gentle warning on those lips.

โ€œI know last night was supposed to be a one-time thing. I know you took pity on me because I was a fucking mess.โ€ I turned the burner off under the chicken and popped the lid on the pan before turning to her. โ€œI also know I havenโ€™t slept that well inโ€ฆmaybe ever.โ€

โ€œWe canโ€™t keep doing this,โ€ she said softly.

I wiped my hand on the dish towel Iโ€™d brought and then did what Iโ€™d been dying to do. I stepped between her knees and slid my hands up her thighs to rest on her hips.

Her hands rested firmly on my shoulders, not pushing or pulling. It was an intimate stance, and as my blood went from warm to simmering in an instant, I craved more.

โ€œLook, I know itโ€™s not fair to ask you to bear this part of my well-being. But Iโ€™m desperate. I need you, Angelina.โ€

โ€œWhy do you call me Angelina?โ€

I gave her hips a gentle squeeze. โ€œItโ€™s your name.โ€

โ€œI know that. But no one else calls me Angelina.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s a beautiful name for a beautiful, complex woman.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re quite the charmer. Iโ€™ll give you that. Flowers, dinner, sweetness. But how long are we going to play this game?โ€

โ€œBaby, this isnโ€™t a game to me. This is my life. Youโ€™re the only thing in my world that gives me hope of finding my way back. I donโ€™t understand it, and honestly, I donโ€™t need to. All I know is I feel better when Iโ€™m with you. When I woke up this morning, I didnโ€™t feel like a ghost or a shadow. I felt good.โ€

โ€œI feltโ€ฆ uhโ€ฆ good too,โ€ she admitted, not quite meeting my eyes. โ€œBut weโ€™re playing with fire here. Sooner or later, youโ€™ll get too attached, and Iโ€™ll have to break your fragile heart. Not to mention, we practically woke up dry humping.โ€

I grinned. โ€œThatโ€™s why I brought pants with a drawstring.โ€

โ€œThis isnโ€™t the kind of peer pressure TV movies prepared me for. โ€˜Hey, Lina. Cuddle with me so I can feel alive again,โ€™โ€ she said, mimicking a deep voice.

I gave her hips another squeeze and pulled her an inch closer to me. โ€œโ€˜Thereโ€™s nothing Iโ€™d rather do than go to bed and not have s*x with you, Nash,โ€™โ€ I teased in a breathy, Marilyn Monroe style.

She sighed, feigning annoyance. โ€œItโ€™s annoying how cute you are.โ€

โ€œAnnoying enough that youโ€™ll let me stay with you tonight?โ€

She squeezed my shoulders and brought her forehead to mine. โ€œIโ€™m really trying to make better decisions, but youโ€™re not making that easy.โ€

I gave in to temptation and kissed her nose. โ€œUgh. Youโ€™re impossible!โ€ she complained. โ€œWhat was wrong with your previous decisions?โ€ She bit her lip.

โ€œNeed I remind you that Iโ€™ve been disgustingly vulnerable with you for, what, forty-eight hours now? I just spent twenty minutes telling you all about my day. Itโ€™s your turn. Give and take. Talk, Angel.โ€

She wrinkled her nose. โ€œI donโ€™t like sharing. Especially when I donโ€™t come out looking good.โ€

โ€œI repeat. Fetal position at the foot of the stairs.โ€

โ€œI was leading a team during an operation. We had to make a quick, unplanned exit off a roof when our thief came home early. I didnโ€™t know the guy I was with was afraid of heights. I made the jump and landed in the canal. When I looked back, he was still standing there, frozen. I yelled, and he panicked, landing on his butt on the hood of a car.โ€

โ€œOuch,โ€ I said, deciding I didnโ€™t need to know exactly what danger required an escape by roof.

โ€œHe broke his tailbone, so he was lucky. But I should have known better. At the very least, I shouldnโ€™t have forced him to take the risk.โ€

Her fingers traced tiny circles on my chest.

โ€œThe thing is, there are rewards for doing my job well. Bonuses, status, the thrill of the chase. Being the hero and bringing home the win. In my company, aggressive tactics are praised. I got a bonus, and Lewis got a broken tailbone. I realized that as good as I am, sometimes it just comes down to luck. And I donโ€™t want to count on that forever.โ€

โ€œMinus the money part, I get that.โ€ It bothered me that I was here in this kitchen because of luck.

โ€œItโ€™s more heroic to be a hero for something other than a big, fat paycheck,โ€ she said.

โ€œHow big and fat are we talking?โ€ I teased.

Her smile was mischievous. โ€œWhy? Do you have a problem making a lot less than your emotional support bed buddy?โ€

โ€œNo, maโ€™am. I do not. Just curious how much โ€˜a lot lessโ€™ is.โ€

โ€œI have a brokerage account and a walk-in closet full of very nice designer clothes. That s*xy Charger out there in the parking lot? I paid for it in cash with last yearโ€™s bonus.โ€

I let out a low whistle. โ€œCanโ€™t wait to see what you get me for my birthday.โ€

โ€œIf memory serves, you and your brother barely spoke for years because he gave you money.โ€

โ€œNow thatโ€™s a dirty lie,โ€ I said, picking up my wine. โ€œWe barely spoke for years because he forced money on me, told me what to do with it, then didnโ€™t like what I chose to do instead.โ€

โ€œWell, in that case, Team Nash,โ€ she said.

โ€œFigured Iโ€™d get you there.โ€

โ€œWhat exactly did Knox want you to do with the money?โ€

โ€œRetire.โ€

Her eyebrows shot up. โ€œRetire? Why?โ€

โ€œHe hates that I grew up and became a cop. We had our fair share of run-ins with the law growing up. Knox never outgrew his distrust of authority. Heโ€™s mellowed some, but he still likes to dabble in the gray area. Like those illegal poker games Iโ€™m not supposed to know about.โ€

โ€œWhat about you? Why arenโ€™t you still dabbling in the gray?โ€

โ€œIf you ask my brother, it was a โ€˜screw youโ€™ to him and our childhood. Us against the man.โ€

โ€œBut thatโ€™s not the truth.โ€

I shook my head. โ€œI thought, instead of operating outside the system, why not make changes within it? Our scrapes with the law were pretty minor. But Lucian? No one was there to protect or serve him. He was thrown in jail at seventeen and sat there for a week, which never should have happened. Thatโ€™s what changed for me. No amount of hell-raising and lawbreaking was going to help him out of that jam. And all it would have taken was for one good cop to do the right thing.โ€

โ€œSo youโ€™re out there doing your job for all the future Lucians,โ€ she said.

I shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed. โ€œAnd the free uniform. Rumor has it the pants make my butt look good.โ€

Lina grinned, and I felt that warm, campfire-like glow in my chest. โ€œOh, Studly Do-Right, that rumor has been substantiated. It is an official fact.โ€

โ€œStudly Do-Right?โ€

โ€œSomething around town you donโ€™t already know?โ€ she teased.

I closed my eyes. โ€œTell me thatโ€™s not my nickname.โ€

She fluttered those long lashes at me. โ€œBut, Nash, I know how important honesty is to you.โ€

โ€œChrist.

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