Nash
I
looped Piperโs leash around my hand and grabbed one of the two bouquets out of my vehicleโs cup holder.
โCome on, Pipe. Quick stop.โ
We got out on the street just as Nolan pulled up to the curb behind me. I threw him a sarcastic salute, which he returned with a half-hearted middle finger.
I was actually almost starting to like the guy.
Piper led the way up the walk to the duplex. It was a two-story brick- and-vinyl building. Both units had a small front porch and flower boxes.
I headed up the three steps to the door on the left. There was a gray-and- white cat crammed up against the screen in the front window. Classical music filtered out to me. I gave the skeptical cat a wave, then I stabbed the doorbell.
Piper sat at my feet, her tail wagging with enthusiasm. It wasnโt as annoying as I thought it would be, having her at work with me. Her routine demands for attention kept me from spacing out over paperwork. And while she wasnโt comfortable enough to let any of the other officers pet her yet, she had started taking hourly trips around the bullpen once she figured out they had treats for her in their pockets.
Footsteps sounded on the other side of the door along with an annoyed, โIโm coming. Iโm coming. Hold your damn horses.โ
The door opened and there she was. My guardian angel.
Xandra Rempalski had thick, curly hair. It was black with strands of violet woven throughout. She wore it half up in a lopsided topknot while the rest cascaded past her shoulders. She had tan skin and brown eyes that went from annoyed to curious to recognition.
Instead of scrubs, she was wearing a denim apron with hand tools and loops of wire stuffed in the pockets. Long, silver earrings made up of dozens of interconnected hoops dangled from her ears. Her necklace dripped with tiny chains that formed a V between her collarbones. It reminded me of chain mail.
โHi,โ I said, suddenly feeling stupid I hadnโt done this a long time ago. โHi yourself,โ she replied, leaning against the doorframe.
The cat lazily threaded its way between her bare feet. Piper cowered behind my boots and pretended she was invisible.
โI donโt know if you remember meโโ
โChief Nash Morgan, age forty-one, two gunshot wounds to the shoulder and torso, O negative,โ she rattled off.
โI guess you do remember me.โ
โItโs not every night a girl finds the chief of police bleeding out on the side of the road,โ she said, flashing me a quick grin.
Piper chanced a peek around my boots. The tubby tabby hissed, then plopped its ass down in the doorway and started licking its butthole.
โDonโt mind Gertrude the Rude,โ Xandra said. โSheโs got attitude for days and no sense of propriety.โ
โThese are for you,โ I said, shoving the bouquet of sunflowers at her. โI should have come by earlier to thank you. But things have beenโฆโ
She looked up from the flowers, the smile fading to a sympathetic grimace. โItโs tough. Seeing it on shift isnโt easy. Iโm sure living through it is no picnic.โ
โFeel like I should be kind of immune to it,โ I confessed, looking down at Piper, who had once again glued herself to the back of my legs.
Xandra shook her head. โWhen you start being immune to it, thatโs when itโs time to get out. Itโs the hurt, the caring that makes us good at our jobs.โ
โHow long have you been in the emergency department?โ
โSince I graduated with my RN. Eight years. Never a dull moment.โ โEver wonder how long you can afford to care?โ
Her smile was back. โI donโt worry about things like that. Itโs one day at a time. As long as the good balances out the bad, Iโm ready for the next day. Itโs never gonna be easy. But we arenโt doing this for ease. Weโre doing it to make a difference. Things like this? A thank-you from one of the ones who made it? That goes a long way.โ
I should have gotten her a card.
Or something that would last longer than a pile of sunflowers.
But I had nothing but words. So I gave her those. โThank you for saving my life, Xandra. Iโm never gonna be able to pay you back for that.โ
She hitched the bouquet up on her hip. Her earrings caught the light and glittered. โThatโs why you just keep payinโ it forward, Chief. One day at a time. Keep doing good. Keep balancing those scales.โ
I hoped to hell removing Dilton from duty was a step in that direction. Because right now, like everything else I did, it felt like not nearly enough.
โIโll do my best.โ
โYou know, having something besides the job helps. Something good. Me? I date inappropriate men and make jewelry,โ she said, sweeping a hand over her apron full of tools.
Right now, I felt like I didnโt have a damn thing besides a needy foster dog and a hole or two that would never be healed.
There was a resounding crash next door followed by a loud, long wail. I jolted, my hand automatically moving to my service weapon.
โDonโt,โ Xandra cautioned briskly. She stowed the flowers and the cat inside and made a move to push past me.
โYou need to get inside,โ I insisted, nearly tripping over Piper as I hurried down the steps. Nolan was hustling up the walk, his holster unsnapped.
โWait! Itโs my nephew. Heโs nonverbal,โ Xandra explained, following me next door.
The details of her statement came back to me. Sheโd been running late to work because sheโd stayed to help her sister calm her nephew.
I paused and shared a look with Nolan. I let her pass me on the steps. โHe has autism,โ she said, letting herself in her sisterโs front door.
โKeep the dog,โ I said, tossing Piperโs leash to Nolan and following her inside.
My blood was still pumping, focus still narrowed. In the middle of the gray living room carpet was a manโno, a boyโcurled on his side, hands covering his ears as he rocked and howled with a pain only he could feel. Next to him were the splintered remains of a toy brick castle.
โThe cops? Really, Xan?โ A woman bearing a striking resemblance to Xandra knelt just out of range of the violent kicks from the boyโs long, gangly legs.
โVery funny,โ Xandra said dryly. โIโll get the blinds.โ
โCan I do anything?โ I asked cautiously as Xandra quietly closed the curtains on the front windows.
โNot yet,โ Xandraโs sister said over her sonโs plaintive screams. โWe have a doctorโs appointment in an hour. His headphones are charging.โ
I stood inside the door feeling helpless while the two women worked in tandem to make the room darker, quieter. A protocol, I realized.
The wails soon quieted and the boyโs mother slid a weighted kind of cape over his shoulders.
Before long, he sat up. He was tall for his age, with dark skin and the spindly limbs of early puberty.
He glanced at the ruined castle and let out a low moan.
โI know, buddy,โ his mother said, carefully sliding an arm around his shoulders. โItโs okay. Weโll fix it.โ
โAmy, this is Chief Morgan,โ Xandra said. โChief, this is my sister Amy and my nephew Alex.โ
โChief,โ Amy said as she rocked Alex in her arms. โHi. I just came by to thank Xandra forโฆโ
โSaving your life?โ she prompted with a small smile. โYeah. That.โ
โSorry for the disturbance,โ she said, accepting the book Xandra handed to her.
โNo apologies necessary.โ
โAnd you were worried how well your first interaction with the cops would go,โ Xandra teased her sister.
Amyโs lips quirked again before she pressed a kiss to the top of her sonโs head and began to read.
โThatโs another strategy. Laugh even when things arenโt funny,โ Xandra said, handing me a fabric tote.
With Alex shooting looks of concern in my direction, I did my job and helped restore order, brick by brick.
When the room was clean and the story was over, I nodded to Amy and followed Xandra to the door. Alex got to his feet and slowly crossed to us. He was tall and broad-shouldered, and the grip of his hand on my arm was strong. But there was a sweet, little-boy smile on his face as he looked at my chest.
โHe doesnโt believe in personal space,โ Xandra warned in amusement.
Alex reached out and traced a finger over my badge, point to point to point. After heโd traced the star twice, he nodded and released me.
โNice to meet you too, Alex,โ I told him softly.
With my arms full, I gave the door two light kicks and waited.
It opened seconds later and everything in me went warm when I saw her. Lina wore leggings in a dark purple. Her sweater was a fleecy ivory that stopped an inch above the waist of her pants. A wide tie-dye headband held her hair back. She was barefoot.
โEveninโ,โ I said, strolling across the threshold and dropping a kiss on her cheek. Piper followed me in and made a beeline for the couch.
โWell, hello. Uh, whatโs all this?โ she asked, closing the door behind
me.
I ducked into the kitchen and dumped the bags on the counter. โDinner,โ
I said.
She appeared in the doorway. โThat doesnโt look like the Thai takeout I was going to order.โ
โNot only beautiful but smart.โ I plucked the wildflowers out of one of the grocery totes. โVase?โ
She gestured at the bare countertops. โDo I look like I have a vase lying around?โ
โWeโll make do.โ I started opening cabinet doors until I found an ugly plastic pitcher. I filled it with water, then shredded the plastic around the flowers. โWildflowers because they reminded me of you,โ I explained. And because the lily of the valley reminded me of my mom.
Lina shot me one of those complicated woman looks before giving in and burying her face in the flowers.
โThis is very sweet of you. Sweet but unnecessary,โ she said.
I noticed she was giving me a wide berth in the tiny space. It was cute that she thought she could rebuild those walls that had come down the night before.
โMind gettinโ Pipe a bowl of water while I start the prep?โ
She hesitated for a second, then opened a cabinet and found an empty takeout bowl. โYou really donโt have to cook me dinner. I was a minute away from ordering food,โ she said as she turned the water on in the sink.
โI had a long day,โ I said conversationally as I pulled a bottle of wine, a corkscrew, and two glasses out of one of the bags. โAnd thanks to you, for the first time in a long while, I had the energy to deal with it.โ I opened the wine with a pop and set the bottle aside.
โI heard something went down with one of your officers,โ she admitted, setting the water dish on the floor. โMrs. Tweedy said you caught one of your guys stealing counterfeit bills out of evidence after they spent it at a strip club.โ
โI wish,โ I said.
Piper appeared in the doorway with a sports bra in her mouth. She spit the bra out in the bowl and drank around it.
โCome on, Pipe. Stop eatinโ laundry.โ I snatched up the bra. โI believe this is yours.โ
Lina took the bra and threw it on the counter next to the broccoli.
โThen Neecey all but tackled me on the sidewalk in front of Dinoโs,โ Lina said, hopping up to perch on the counter. โShe told me you headbutted that no-good Tate Dilton in the candy aisle of the grocery store.โ
โI worry about this townโs language comprehension sometimes.โ
She smirked. โNeecey also said she heard that you two wrestled into a canned soup pyramid and that the store manager found two cans of minestrone all the way over in the freezer section.โ
โIf you pour, Iโll tell you the real, much less eventful story.โ โDeal.โ
I filled her in on my day. All of it. It felt good. To share a kitchen. To share my day. Lina seemed genuinely interested. She sat on the counter and we talked as I sautรฉed chicken, peppers, and onions. Piper joined us with an endless parade of toys and laundry.
I had to stop myself over a dozen times from moving between Linaโs legs, sending my hands sliding up her thighs, and going in for those pretty, red lips.
This connection I felt was real, tangible, and deep, but I didnโt know how deep it went for her. And I wasnโt about to scare her off with the level of my need for her.
โWhy are there pajama pants in this bag? Is this some new age dessert I donโt know about?โ she asked, poking around in the last tote.
โYeah, about that,โ I began.
โNash.โ My name was a gentle warning on those lips.
โI know last night was supposed to be a one-time thing. I know you took pity on me because I was a fucking mess.โ I turned the burner off under the chicken and popped the lid on the pan before turning to her. โI also know I havenโt slept that well inโฆmaybe ever.โ
โWe canโt keep doing this,โ she said softly.
I wiped my hand on the dish towel Iโd brought and then did what Iโd been dying to do. I stepped between her knees and slid my hands up her thighs to rest on her hips.
Her hands rested firmly on my shoulders, not pushing or pulling. It was an intimate stance, and as my blood went from warm to simmering in an instant, I craved more.
โLook, I know itโs not fair to ask you to bear this part of my well-being. But Iโm desperate. I need you, Angelina.โ
โWhy do you call me Angelina?โ
I gave her hips a gentle squeeze. โItโs your name.โ
โI know that. But no one else calls me Angelina.โ
โItโs a beautiful name for a beautiful, complex woman.โ
โYouโre quite the charmer. Iโll give you that. Flowers, dinner, sweetness. But how long are we going to play this game?โ
โBaby, this isnโt a game to me. This is my life. Youโre the only thing in my world that gives me hope of finding my way back. I donโt understand it, and honestly, I donโt need to. All I know is I feel better when Iโm with you. When I woke up this morning, I didnโt feel like a ghost or a shadow. I felt good.โ
โI feltโฆ uhโฆ good too,โ she admitted, not quite meeting my eyes. โBut weโre playing with fire here. Sooner or later, youโll get too attached, and Iโll have to break your fragile heart. Not to mention, we practically woke up dry humping.โ
I grinned. โThatโs why I brought pants with a drawstring.โ
โThis isnโt the kind of peer pressure TV movies prepared me for. โHey, Lina. Cuddle with me so I can feel alive again,โโ she said, mimicking a deep voice.
I gave her hips another squeeze and pulled her an inch closer to me. โโThereโs nothing Iโd rather do than go to bed and not have s*x with you, Nash,โโ I teased in a breathy, Marilyn Monroe style.
She sighed, feigning annoyance. โItโs annoying how cute you are.โ
โAnnoying enough that youโll let me stay with you tonight?โ
She squeezed my shoulders and brought her forehead to mine. โIโm really trying to make better decisions, but youโre not making that easy.โ
I gave in to temptation and kissed her nose. โUgh. Youโre impossible!โ she complained. โWhat was wrong with your previous decisions?โ She bit her lip.
โNeed I remind you that Iโve been disgustingly vulnerable with you for, what, forty-eight hours now? I just spent twenty minutes telling you all about my day. Itโs your turn. Give and take. Talk, Angel.โ
She wrinkled her nose. โI donโt like sharing. Especially when I donโt come out looking good.โ
โI repeat. Fetal position at the foot of the stairs.โ
โI was leading a team during an operation. We had to make a quick, unplanned exit off a roof when our thief came home early. I didnโt know the guy I was with was afraid of heights. I made the jump and landed in the canal. When I looked back, he was still standing there, frozen. I yelled, and he panicked, landing on his butt on the hood of a car.โ
โOuch,โ I said, deciding I didnโt need to know exactly what danger required an escape by roof.
โHe broke his tailbone, so he was lucky. But I should have known better. At the very least, I shouldnโt have forced him to take the risk.โ
Her fingers traced tiny circles on my chest.
โThe thing is, there are rewards for doing my job well. Bonuses, status, the thrill of the chase. Being the hero and bringing home the win. In my company, aggressive tactics are praised. I got a bonus, and Lewis got a broken tailbone. I realized that as good as I am, sometimes it just comes down to luck. And I donโt want to count on that forever.โ
โMinus the money part, I get that.โ It bothered me that I was here in this kitchen because of luck.
โItโs more heroic to be a hero for something other than a big, fat paycheck,โ she said.
โHow big and fat are we talking?โ I teased.
Her smile was mischievous. โWhy? Do you have a problem making a lot less than your emotional support bed buddy?โ
โNo, maโam. I do not. Just curious how much โa lot lessโ is.โ
โI have a brokerage account and a walk-in closet full of very nice designer clothes. That s*xy Charger out there in the parking lot? I paid for it in cash with last yearโs bonus.โ
I let out a low whistle. โCanโt wait to see what you get me for my birthday.โ
โIf memory serves, you and your brother barely spoke for years because he gave you money.โ
โNow thatโs a dirty lie,โ I said, picking up my wine. โWe barely spoke for years because he forced money on me, told me what to do with it, then didnโt like what I chose to do instead.โ
โWell, in that case, Team Nash,โ she said.
โFigured Iโd get you there.โ
โWhat exactly did Knox want you to do with the money?โ
โRetire.โ
Her eyebrows shot up. โRetire? Why?โ
โHe hates that I grew up and became a cop. We had our fair share of run-ins with the law growing up. Knox never outgrew his distrust of authority. Heโs mellowed some, but he still likes to dabble in the gray area. Like those illegal poker games Iโm not supposed to know about.โ
โWhat about you? Why arenโt you still dabbling in the gray?โ
โIf you ask my brother, it was a โscrew youโ to him and our childhood. Us against the man.โ
โBut thatโs not the truth.โ
I shook my head. โI thought, instead of operating outside the system, why not make changes within it? Our scrapes with the law were pretty minor. But Lucian? No one was there to protect or serve him. He was thrown in jail at seventeen and sat there for a week, which never should have happened. Thatโs what changed for me. No amount of hell-raising and lawbreaking was going to help him out of that jam. And all it would have taken was for one good cop to do the right thing.โ
โSo youโre out there doing your job for all the future Lucians,โ she said.
I shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed. โAnd the free uniform. Rumor has it the pants make my butt look good.โ
Lina grinned, and I felt that warm, campfire-like glow in my chest. โOh, Studly Do-Right, that rumor has been substantiated. It is an official fact.โ
โStudly Do-Right?โ
โSomething around town you donโt already know?โ she teased.
I closed my eyes. โTell me thatโs not my nickname.โ
She fluttered those long lashes at me. โBut, Nash, I know how important honesty is to you.โ
โChrist.