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Chapter no 6 – THE MIDDLE OF A PISSING CONTEST

Things We Hide from the Light (Knockemout Series, 2)

Lina

The Knockemout Public Library was housed across the hall from the police department in the Knox Morgan Municipal Building, a name that was the source of endless entertainment for me.

I snapped a picture of the bold, gold lettering and fired it off in a text to the man, the grump, the legend himself.

Knoxโ€™s response was immediate. A middle finger emoji. With a grin, I put my phone away and headed inside.

The building had been largely funded by a hefty โ€œdonationโ€ that came from the lottery winnings Knox had tried to force on Nash. It was, in my opinion, an expert-level โ€œfuck you.โ€

Apparently, it had also driven a wedge between the brothers, one that had been reinforced by inherited stubbornness and subpar family communication.

Not that Knox and I had shared any heart-to-hearts in all our years of friendship. We kept things light, didnโ€™t burden each other with the heavy stuff. Didnโ€™t try to bring things into the light for useless examination.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how you made a relationship last. No burdens. No emotional baggage.

Keep your needs few and your quality time fun.

With this in mind, I made a specific pointย notย to peer through the glass into the police station. I wasnโ€™t prepared to make small talk with the chief of police mere hours after hearing him bringing himself to climax in the shower one not-so-soundproofed wall away.

Just thinking about it had my cheeks heating, my downtown fluttering. Iโ€™d never stood at a sink brushing my teeth for that long in my life.

One thing was certain, Chief Morgan was a ticking time bomb. And whoever this Angel was, I hoped I wouldnโ€™t have to hate her.

I headed into the library. It was busier and louder than I expected. Thanks to Drag Queen Story Hour, the childrenโ€™s section had the energy of a preschool at snack time. Kids and adults alike listened with rapt attention as Cherry Poppa and Martha Stewhot read about diverse families and adopting pets.

I stayed and listened for an entire book before remembering I was on a mission.

I found Sloane Walton, librarian extraordinaire, on the second floor in the stacks arguing about something bookish with the elderly yet fashionable Hinkel McCord.

Sloane was unlike any librarian Iโ€™d known. She was a petite spitfire with lavender-tinted platinum-blond hair. She dressed like a cool teenager, drove a souped-up Jeep Wrangler, and hosted a monthly Booze and Books Happy Hour. From what I had gathered, she had single-handedly turned the failing Knockemout Public Library into the heart of the community through grit, determination, and a number of grants.

There was something about her that reminded me of the nice, cool girls in high school. Iโ€™d once been a member of that exclusive club.

โ€œAll Iโ€™m saying is give Octavia Butler a try. And then come back with apology flowers and tequila because youโ€™re dead wrong,โ€ she told the man.

Hinkel shook his head. โ€œIโ€™ll give it a try. But when I hate it, you need to deliver one of them loaves of sundried tomato bread.โ€

Sloane stuck her hand out. โ€œDeal. Good tequila. Not โ€˜I stole this crap from my parentsโ€™ liquor cabinet for the high school bonfireโ€™ tequila.โ€

Hinkel nodded shrewdly and shook her hand. โ€œDeal.โ€

โ€œDo you always bribe patrons with baked goods?โ€ I asked.

Hinkel flashed me pearly whites and doffed his straw fedora. โ€œMiss Lina, if you donโ€™t mind my saying, you put the autumn leaves to shame with your beauty.โ€

I plucked a paperback off the shelf and fanned myself with it. โ€œGood sir, you certainly know how to turn a ladyโ€™s head,โ€ I said, adopting a southern belle accent.

Sloane crossed her arms, feigning irritation. โ€œExcuseย me, Mr. McCord. I thoughtย Iย was your Sunday morning flirtation.โ€

He gestured at his pin-striped suit and bow tie. โ€œThere is more than enough of Hinkel to go around. Now if you two lovely ladies donโ€™t mind, Iโ€™m gonna go downstairs and flirt with a queen or two.โ€

We watched the centenarian spryly head for the stairs, cane in one hand, book in the other.

โ€œKnockemout sure grows them charming,โ€ I observed.

โ€œWe sure do,โ€ Sloane agreed, gesturing for me to follow her.

We entered a spacious conference room where Sloane headed straight for the dry erase board and began removing several crude drawings of penises.

โ€œTeenagers?โ€ I guessed.

She shook her head, making her perky ponytail dance. โ€œNorthern Virginia urologists. They had their quarterly meeting here yesterday. Figured Iโ€™d clean up the evidence before story hour ends.โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t see that one coming.โ€

Sloane flashed me a smirk. โ€œJust wait until the NoVaP host their meetup in January.โ€

I ran the possibilities in my head. โ€œNorthern Virginia proctologists?โ€

โ€œButtsย everywhere.โ€ Sloane dropped the eraser and started organizing the markers by color. โ€œWhat brings you into my fine establishment today?โ€

I made myself useful and started stuffing the scattering of penis-centric handouts into the recycling can. โ€œLooking for a book recommendation or two.โ€

And some information, I added silently.

โ€œCame to the right place. Whatโ€™s your poison? Thriller? Time travel? Autobiography? Poetry? Police procedural? Fantasy? Self-help? Small- town romance hot enough to make you blush?โ€

I thought of Nash in the shower last night. The thump of a fist against wet tile. The strangled oath. I felt a little light-headed. โ€œSomething with murders,โ€ I decided. โ€œAlso, is there any kind of county database I could use to search properties?โ€

โ€œLooking to make your visit permanent?โ€

โ€œNo,โ€ I said quickly. โ€œI have a friend who lives in DC. Theyโ€™re looking to move out of the city and open a business.โ€

It was a lame lie. But Sloane was a busy librarian and people around here were quirky. She wasnโ€™t going to waste time poking holes in my story.

โ€œWhat kind of business?โ€

Dammit.

โ€œCustom car garage? I mean, I think itโ€™s some kind of custom car garage.โ€

Sloane nudged her glasses up her nose. โ€œIโ€™m sure your friend knows how to use the usual property listing websites.โ€

โ€œHeโ€”she, er, they do. But what if the property isnโ€™t for sale? Theyโ€™ve got deep pockets and have been known to make offers that were hard to refuse.โ€

Technically that part wasnโ€™t a lie. Exactly.

She pinned me with a curious look. I was usually much better at spinning an appropriate tale. That whole Nash in the shower thing must have really thrown me. Note to self: Avoid men who make you stupid.

โ€œIn that case, you could try a county assessment database. Most have GIS maps of properties, their records, and their tax assessments. I can give you the links.โ€

 

 

Twenty minutes later, I did my best to tiptoe past Drag Queen

Story Hour with my stack of uns*xy murder novels, one book on conquering self-destructive tendencies, and colorful sticky notes with the names of three county property databases.

I made it out the door and into the hall when a familiar voice stopped me. โ€œInvestigator Lina Solavita.โ€

I froze, then slowly pivoted on my boot heels.

A ghost from the past smirked at me as the door to the police station closed behind him. Heโ€™d grown a mustache since Iโ€™d last seen him and added ten or so pounds, but it looked good on him.

โ€œMarshal Nolan Graham. What are you doingโ€”โ€ I didnโ€™t need to finish the question. There was only one local case that would require a U.S. marshalโ€™s presence.

โ€œCaught a case.โ€ He plucked the novel off the top of my stack and peeked under the sticky notes at the cover. โ€œYou wonโ€™t like this one.โ€

โ€œOne weekend five or so years ago and you think you know my taste in books?โ€

He flashed me a grin. โ€œWhat can I say? Youโ€™re memorable.โ€

Nolan was a cocky pain in the ass. But he was good at his job, not a misogynistic idiot, and if memory served, he was also a great dancer.

โ€œWish I could say the same. Nice mustache, by the way,โ€ I teased.

He smoothed his finger and thumb over it. โ€œWanna take it for a spin later?โ€

โ€œStill an incurable ass, I see.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s called confidence. And itโ€™s built on years of experience with satisfied women.โ€

I grinned. โ€œYouโ€™re the worst.โ€

โ€œYeah. I know. What the hell are you doing here? Somebody steal the

Mona Lisa?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m in town visiting friends. Catching up on my reading.โ€ I held up the stack of books.

His eyes narrowed. โ€œBullshit. You donโ€™t take vacations. Whatโ€™s Pritzger Insurance after in this place?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know what youโ€™re talking about.โ€

โ€œCome on. Entertain me. Iโ€™m basically sitting on some Podunk chief of police waiting for a dipshit to try to finish the job.โ€

โ€œYou think Duncan Hugo is going to try again? Do you have intel on that?โ€

โ€œWell, arenโ€™t we well informed?โ€

I rolled my eyes. โ€œItโ€™s a small town. Weโ€™re all well informed.โ€ โ€œThen you donโ€™t need me to connect the dots.โ€

โ€œCome on. Hugo was taking a run at some list to impress Daddy, but he blew it. Last I heard, he was in the wind. Heโ€™s got no reason to come back and finish the job.โ€

โ€œUnless Chief Amnesia suddenly remembers the shooting. All weโ€™ve got is the word of a batshit, pain-in-the-ass, evil twin ex-girlfriend locked up in prison. And the testimony of a twelve-year-old. None of the physical evidence would hold up. Stolen car. Unregistered gun. No prints.โ€

Duncan Hugo had teamed up with Naomiโ€™s twin sister, Tina, to lie, cheat, and steal their way through northern Virginia before heโ€™d made the

ghastly mistake of shooting Nash.

โ€œWhat about the dashcam footage?โ€ I pressed.

Nolan shrugged. โ€œItโ€™s dark. Guy had on a hoodie and gloves. You can barely make out a profile. But a half-decent attorney could argue it was literally anyone else.โ€

โ€œStill. Why send you in to babysit? Hugoโ€™s small-time, isnโ€™t he?โ€ Nolan raised an eyebrow.

โ€œOhhh. The feds are after Daddy.โ€

Anthony Hugo was a crime lord whose territory included Washington, DC, and Baltimore. While his son dabbled in stolen electronics and cars, Daddy Dearest had an ugly reputation for racketeering, drugs, and s*x trafficking.

โ€œIโ€™m not at liberty to say,โ€ he said, jingling the change in his pocket. โ€œNow, spill it. What pretty little treasure are you after?โ€

My smile was feline. โ€œIโ€™m not at liberty to say.โ€

Nolan put his hand on the wall behind me and leaned in like a high school quarterback with the perky head cheerleader. โ€œCome on, Lina. Maybe we could work together?โ€

But I was no perky cheerleader. I also wasnโ€™t a team player. โ€œSorry, Marshal. Iโ€™m on vacation. And just like work, I do that alone too.โ€ It was safer that way.

He shook his head. โ€œThe good ones are always stubbornly single.โ€

I cocked my head to study him. In his government-issue black suit and tie, he looked like the top Bible salesperson in the district. โ€œDidnโ€™t you get married?โ€ I asked.

He held up his bare left hand. โ€œDidnโ€™t take.โ€ Beneath the bravado, I caught a whiff of sad. โ€œThe job?โ€ I guessed.

He shrugged. โ€œWhat can I say? Not everyone can deal.โ€

I got it. The travel. The long weeks of obsession. The rush of victory when a case came together. Not everyone on the outside could handle it.

I wrinkled my nose in sympathy. โ€œSorry it didnโ€™t work out.โ€

โ€œYeah. Me too. You could make me feel better. Dinner? Drinks? Heard this place called Honky Tonk a few blocks over has decent scotch. We could go have a few for old timeโ€™s sake.โ€

I could only imagine Knoxโ€™s reaction if I wandered into his bar with a

U.S. marshal in tow. While his brother was a fan of law and order, Knox

had a rebellious streak when it came to rule books.

โ€œHmm.โ€ I needed to take a beat. I needed a plan, a strategy.

The opening of the station door saved me from having to formulate an answer. Then it was the scowl on Nashโ€™s face that left me too tongue-tied to spit one out.

โ€œYou lost, Marshal?โ€ Nash asked. His voice was deceptively mild with a bit more southern honey layered on top than usual. He was dressed in his uniform of dark-gray Knockemout PD button-down and tactical pants, both of which looked like theyโ€™d been washed and ironed. Both of whichย alsoย looked fifty million times hotter than Nolanโ€™s suit.

Damn you, thin shower walls. Damn you to hell.

My throat was dry and my brain went stupid, putting Nashโ€™s low groan from the night before on repeat in my head.

If broody, wounded Nash was s*xy, bossy-pants Chief Morgan was a panty melter.

His gaze flicked to me, then ran from head to toe.

Nolan kept his hand where it was above my head, but he shifted so he could look at Nash. โ€œJust catching up with an old friend, Chief. Have you had the pleasure of meeting Investigator Solavita?โ€

I now owed Nolan a knee to the balls. โ€œInvestigator?โ€ Nash repeated.

โ€œInsurance investigator,โ€ I said quickly before shooting a glare at Nolan. โ€œChief Morgan and I know each other.โ€

Usually I was good under pressure. No. Not just good. I wasย greatย under pressure. I was patient and smart and cunning when necessary. But Nash giving me that hard, authoritarian look like he wanted to drag me into an interview room and yell at me for an hour was definitely screwing with my balance.

โ€œIโ€™m guessing not as well as you and I know each other,โ€ Nolan said to me with a wink.

โ€œSeriously?โ€ I demanded. โ€œGet over it.โ€

โ€œAngel and I are close,โ€ Nash drawled without looking away from me.

Angel?ย Iย was the Angel from Nashโ€™s shower fantasy? My brain launched into a graphic replay of my nocturnal eavesdropping. I shook myself mentally and decided to deal with that information later.

โ€œWe share a wall,โ€ I said, not sure why I felt the need to explain. My past with Nolan was none of Nashโ€™s business. My present with Nash was

none of Nolanโ€™s.

โ€œShared a bath too yesterday,โ€ Nash said.

My jaw dropped, and a sound like an accordion getting crushed wheezed out of me.

Both men looked at me. I shut my mouth with a hard snap.

I was going to knee Nolan in the balls and push Nash down the stairs, I decided.

โ€œShe always was a sucker for law enforcement,โ€ Nolan said, rocking back on his heels and looking like he was enjoying this.

I was fuming, but before I could let the two testosterone-addled idiots have it, the library door opened. Nash moved to hold it.

โ€œMaโ€™am,โ€ he said to Cherry Poppa as she exited. โ€œCharmer,โ€ she cooed.

Nolan bowed.

โ€œItโ€™s certainly yummy out here,โ€ the drag queen observed as she headed for the door.

โ€œWell, this has beenย fun,โ€ I snarled at the idiots clogging the hallway before following the beautiful drag queen outside.

โ€œYou know what no one tells you about standing in the middle of a pissing contest?โ€ Cherry said to me with a toss of her blond curls.

โ€œWhatโ€™s that?โ€ I asked.

โ€œYouโ€™re the one who ends up smelling like pee.โ€

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