The earth shifted and slid beneath me, and I struggled to stay upright. It took me too long to realize I was
still, embarrassingly, clinging to Nuraโs arm. โTisaanah, this is Maxantarius.โ
I tore my eyes from the bright sun, blinking at our surroundings. Nura and I now stood in one of the largest gardens I had ever seen. It sprawled in all directions, flowers and greenery consuming every inch of earth. Nestled in the middle of it all was a little stone cabin. And there, crouched among wild white rose bushes, was a man who stood to meet us, sharp features pinched beneath the shadow of tousled black hair.
Blackย hair.
He wasnโt a Valtain.
This had to be a mistake. Now I understood the confused wrinkle on Willaโs forehead.
โMaxantarius? Really?โ He rolled his eyes, letting out a scoff. His purple silk jacket โ which struck me as horribly impractical clothing for gardening โ rippled under the sun as he crossed his arms across his chest.
His gaze settled on me. It was the brightest, iciest blue I had ever seen, so unnervingly stark that it edged on inhuman. โCan you tell me why youโre bringing strange girls in nightgowns to stomp my irises?โ
I looked down at myself, forcing myself not to be embarrassed by this shapeless cotton thing. Then looked down further, to the little blue flowers crushed under my toes.
To be fair, it would have been impossibleย notย to crush
something.
Nura only answered, icily, โYou havenโt shown up to the Towers for any mandatory appearances.โ
Maxantarius lifted one long, straight finger. โOne. That isnโt your concern, is it?โ Then another. โTwo. As you know, I am retired.โ
โYouโre still a member of the Orders.โ
He uncrossed his arms, jerking his sleeve up in one sharp movement, making a show of examining the inside of his right wrist. I caught a glimpse of a small, gold-colored tattoo. The sun. โIโve been meaning to get rid of this thing.โ
Nura didnโt react, save for a small tightening of the muscles around her eyes. So slight that I would have missed it if I wasnโt desperate for signs of communication, desperate to latch on to something other than the Aran words that I struggled to understand.
She gestured to me. โThis is Tisaanah. She has been assigned to be your apprentice.โ
I armed myself with the most dazzling, bright-eyed smile in my arsenal, inclining my head in a greeting.
Maxantariusโs eyes danced from me to Nura and then back to me, black eyebrows raised ever-so-slightly, sharp words dangling in the air.
And then, he laughed. โThatโs ridiculous.โ
โYou didnโt take one six months ago, so here you are.โ
โRetired. That was the agreement. And besides โ” His arms dropped, gesturing to me, then flailing into something like a shrug. โI meanโย honestly? Do I have toย sayย any of this? Where do I even start?โ
During that last question, his gaze flicked over me with an incredulous disgust that made my teeth grind together.
โWhat are your reservations?โ Nura retorted.
โWhat are myย reservations?ย You bring me a fragmentedย Valtainย whoโs practicallyย geriatricย and ask me what myย reservationsย are?โ
Geh-ri-act-rick.
I didnโt know what it meant, but I was sure it was an insult.
I steeled myself with a face of charming, earnest pleasantness. โIt would be honor to train with youโ ahโโ I didnโt even know how to approach attempting to say Maxantariusโs name. Instead I awkwardly cut myself short, offering a doe-eyed beam in its place, before turning to Nura. โBut maybe better if I could find Valtain?โ
He arched a brow, unamused by my practiced charms. โAnd sheโsย foreign. What is that, Thereni?โ
โThere are no Valtain in the Order of Midnight who are available to apprentices right now,โ Nura snapped. โYou are Tisaanahโs only option.โ
Gods. Well, that was just terrific. If it was even true.
Maxantarius and I glanced at each other, and in that moment, I was certain that we had to be thinking the same thing.
He snorted. โAs much as I love being a last resort, this is ridiculous. How old are you, anyway?โ Before I could answer, he shook his head, turning back to Nura. โI wonโt bother. This doesnโt even justify a response. You know it, I know it, and Iโm sure she probably knows it, too. You already know where I stand on involvement with the Orders.โ
I glanced from Maxantarius to Nura, reading the taut hostility in their stances, the sharp edge in the way that they looked at each other. And I tasted the thread of tension in the air that lingered between them, one that
seemed drawn from something deeper than this conversation alone.
There was history here. Old rivals, maybe. Orโฆ
I watched their unbroken stares, heavy with that distinctive blend of familiarity and resentment.
Orโฆ
โฆFormer lovers, perhaps. I tucked this theory away. Knowing these kinds of things about people always turned out to be useful, one way or another.
Details aside, one thing was certain: I strongly suspected that this argument was about more than just me. โItโs been eight years, Max,โ Nura snapped. โItโs time to
do something with your life.โ
โYour concern is touching, but Iโve given you an answer.โ
โYou are a member of the Orders, whether you like it or not. I wasnโt asking you for an answer.โ
โOf course. Holding true to pattern.โ
Silence. Nura and Maxantarius looked at each other with combative stares that were only barely shy of outright glares. The sound of birds flitting through the trees was suddenly deafening.
โIโm not doing this,โ he said, at last. โIโm sure youโve just beenย itchingย for an excuse to put me in my place. But itโs wrong for you to useย herย to do it.โ
โThatโs notโ I already told you.โ Nura straightened, letting out a puff of exasperated air through her nostrils. She turned to me. โHeโs just being a child. Heโs more than capable of teaching you.โ
โI am not,โ he retorted. โDonโt lie to the poor girl.โ
I looked at Maxantariusโs stubborn, steady gaze. Then Nuraโs set jaw and icy eyes โ equally immovable. I wasnโt sure exactly what I had stepped into, but I knew that if I brought up finding another trainer, Nura wouldnโt give in. Not after this whole argument.
I could do this, I told myself. I was an expert in making stubborn men do things that they didnโt realize they wanted to do. I wrapped Threllian Lords around my fingers like they were made out of putty. And how different could this petulant Solarie possibly be?
Besides, I didnโtย actuallyย need training. I could teach myself anything I needed to know. All I had to do was appease the Ordersโ technicalities, force myself through their requirements as quickly as possible, then convince them to help me get back to Threll.
Hopefully before Serelโ
I didnโt let myself finish the thought.
โHeโll come around,โ Nura said to me, quietly, then turned to Maxantarius, who had crouched down to observe his roses.
โDonโt you dare leave her here,โ he said, without looking up.
Iย hopedย she was leaving. Every minute she spent arguing would make my job more difficult later.
โItโs time to do something, Max. Youโre too young for this.โ A faint, tenuous warmth stretched in her voice, far beneath her words. It was only just audible enough to make him glance up, the wrinkle above his nose softening only slightly.
Oh,ย definitelyย former lovers. My suspicion became a certainty.
โGood luck,โ Nura said to me. โIโm sure I will see you soon.โ
And before I had the chance to stop her โ before I had the chance to ask any of the dozens of questions thrashing in my lungs โ she scribbled two jagged strokes onto her little scrap of parchment and simply disappeared.
Leaving me here.
โDamnย it, I told her not to do that,โ Maxantarius grumbled.
A breeze rustled the garden, making the flower petals tremor like butterfly wings, pressing the fabric of my ridiculous dress to my back and offering a sharp, jarring reminder of my wounds. Whatever pain relief Willa had given me was starting to wear off. At least the ache sharpened my thoughts.
I watched Maxantarius, who diligently ignored me.
Docility was probably not the best option. I could already tell that approach would neither endear me to him, nor help me make any progress. Normally, I would take a more flirtatious approach, but that seemed risky, too. He had only scoffed at my attempts at charm before.
โEager protรฉgรฉโ might have potential. Maybe.
I just needed to figure out what I had to work with.
I watched Maxantariusโs back, mentally reaching into the space between us, searching for any faint whiff of his emotions, his thoughts, his preferencesโ
A sharp, startling pain rang out in the back of my head, as if my fingers had been slammed in a door. Maxantarius whipped his head around to glare at me. โDoย not,โ he hissed, โdo that to me.ย Ever.โ
My jaw snapped shut, and I swallowed a rush of embarrassment.
Nura had clearly shielded her mind, hiding it from my abilities. As a Valtain, she would have a mastery of thoughts that would allow her to do such things. It hadnโt occurred to me that a Solarie could do the same thing, though now it seemed obvious that such protections would be necessary, living in this worldโ
โI apologizeโโ I started. โI onlyโโ
But Maxantarius rose without so much as looking at me. โFucking Valtain,โ he muttered. โSneaky bastards.โ
He strode to the door of the little stone cabin. I started to follow him, but he whirled around in the doorway, blocking it and sneering at me down the bridge of his nose.
โIโm not participating in this,โ he said.
And before I could respond, the door slammed so forcefully that I felt the wood reverberate at the tip of my nose.
 |
I shivered.
My back throbbed.
Maxantarius had not opened the door again after slamming it in my face. For a while, I had paced around the garden mulling over my options. The way things looked from where I stood, I had very few.
At first, it had been difficult to curb my anger, which grew more and more potent with every passing minute. I dragged myself across the plains, across the ocean, to get here. I hunted and bartered and hid. I nearlyย died.ย And โ in a thought that still clenched shuddering guilt in my chest
โ I killed.
All of that, so that I could be discarded outside the locked door of some petulant โteacherโ who refused to train me.
Gods, he wasnโt even aย Valtain. I didnโt know much about Solarie Wielders, but I knew that even though they could, theoretically, do most of what Valtain could do, the way they used their magic was very different than the way I used mine.
But.
I breathed in my anger, and exhaled resolve.
If they were going to force me into this situation, then fine. Iโd make everything I could of it.
I wasnโt sure what Maxantarius expected to happen, but I didnโt leave. Instead I sat down just outside the door, crossing my legs, waiting. He had to come out eventually. And when he did, Iโd be here. Besidesโฆ it wasnโt as if I had anywhere else I could go.
Minutes passed โ thirty, forty, fifty. Then hours. I watched the flower petals grow brighter and brighter under the waning sun, then reflect the warmth of sunset, then curl and fold in on themselves in dusk.
It was cold. Threll didnโt get cold, and I didnโt particularly enjoy the unfamiliar sensation.
The flower leaves gently curled, like an animal getting ready to sleep. I wondered if he had put some sort of protective spell on them to shield them from the chill. My teeth chattered.
And then, finally, the door opened. I jolted so abruptly that my back screamed.
Maxantarius stood in the doorway.
โYou look freezing,โ he said, matter-of-factly. โYes.โ I saw no point in denying it.
โAre you planning on going anywhere?โ โI have nowhere for going.โ
I tried to sound very pitiful.
He sighed. โFigures sheโd leave you here on the coldest spring night weโve had in years,โ he grumbled. Then he stepped back from the door, eyeing me warily. โIโm inviting you inside, but only because if I let you freeze out here, Iโd have to relinquish my moral superiority.โ
I didnโt understand what any of that meant, except for the important part. I pulled myself to my feet, wincing slightly as my back straightened and offering Maxantarius my most charming, grateful smile. โThank you, Max-an-tar-ee-us.โ
I was very proud of myself for correctly stringing together all of those syllables out loud.
He rolled his eyes as he stepped aside, holding the door open for me. โMax, please. Otherwise weโd spend half our damn lives saying that ridiculous name.โ
Thank the gods.
 |
Iย HAD NEVER SEEN SOย manyย thingsย packed into so small a space.
I stepped through the door and immediately stopped short. It took palpable effort not to let my jaw drop. My eyes didnโt even know where the look first.
Maxโs home was tiny, but every single wall โย everyย one
โ was lined with shelves that held trinkets and tools and art and sculptures and little strange whirring metal things. One shelf was devoted completely to what looked to be a very wide variety of sizes, shapes, colors and types of wine bottles. Four different rugs covered the floor, all overlapping each other at various angles, each a different color and texture.
A fireplace bathed all of this in flickering orange light, reflecting off little metal pendulums and curious, circling devices. A couch and two armchairs sat near the fire โ none matching โ and a dining room table with five different styles of chairs occupied the middle of the room. Around a corner, I caught a glimpse of a small kitchen, and a narrow hallway with a few closed doors.
โThese are all very useful and important things,โ Max said, somewhat defensively, as if he saw my eyes widen when I walked in.
I nodded.ย Sure.
There was no possible greater opposite to Esmarisโs vast, minimalist estate. At least it was clean in here. Cluttered, but clean.
โAre you hungry?โ
Max disappeared into the kitchen. As if answering for me, my stomach rumbled.
โYes.โ
He emerged with a bowl of soup and a teacup, which he placed at the table, motioning for me to sit. I did, and he
slumped into the chair across from me. He replenished a mostly empty wine glass from a bottle that was also mostly empty, and leaned back in his chair.
I sniffed. The soup Max had given me was different than anything I had ever eaten before โ thicker, and heavy with the still-unfamiliar smell of the ocean. I would have inhaled it even if it was disgusting, but it was good.ย Spicy, but good.
โThank you.โ I was so ravenous that I barely remembered to say it.
Max had shifted to leaning on the table, his chin propped against his knuckles, watching me in silence. I returned the favor, regarding him warily between bites.
He was younger than I might have expected. Perhaps late twenties, though there was a certain sharp, observant quality to his expressions that made him seem like he could be older. High cheekbones doused in flickering firelight. A flat, straight nose. Delicate, upturned eyes beneath creaseless lids that only emphasized their unnerving, cloudy blue. Up close, they looked even more strange. I knew an old man in Threll who had cataracts that looked a bit like those, though certainly not in such a striking blue. Somehow I doubted that Max had eyesight problems, though. His gaze seemed too deliberate, too piercing, for that.
โSo,โ he said, at last, โyouโre fromโฆ?โ โThrell.โ
โAnd how old are you?โ
โTwo-tenโโ I realized my mistake, too late, and corrected myself. โTwenty-one.โ
โTwenty-one,โ he echoed under his breath, shaking his head โ as if this was a ridiculous answer. โApprenticeships are complete at eighteen. Do you realize how peculiar this entire situation is?โ
I tried not to let Max see that I didnโt understand, but apparently I failed, because he added, โStrange. Unusual.โ
โEnough.โ
โTo be clear,ย allย of this is very, very strange.โ
โNura said of me that I cannot join Orders without training. Even though Iโm too old.โ
I didn’t bother to hide my irritation.
A smirk flitted across Maxโs mouth. โIโm glad you have enough sense to be frustrated by that bureaucratic stupidity.โ
โI did not come here to be sent back away.โ โโHere,โ to Ara, or โhere,โ to my house?โ
โBoth.โ
He let out a breath of a chuckle, as if this answer were simply an amusing joke, and finished his glass of wine. Poured another.
โSorry, how rude of me.โ He lifted the bottle. โWould you like some?โ
โNo, thank you.โ My gaze flicked to the walls, and the empty wine bottles that lined one of the shelves.
Noted.
But I needed more information about this man, if I was going to understand what he wanted. If I was going to figure out how to make myself invaluable.
I put my spoon down and took a sip of tea. Even that was spicy, making my nose burn. โHow are you knowing Nura?โ I asked, with calculated casualness. โIs she a friend?โ
Max snorted. โSheโs the second-highest ranking member of the Orders. Everyone knows Nura.โ
Oh, I did hear that bitterness. I smiled slyly at him. โYou know her another way, I think.โ
โWe fought together during the war, if you must know.โ Max straightened, narrowing his eyes. โBut youโre awfully bold for someone who dumped herself atย myย house and refused to leave.โ
โI canโt leave. What war?โ I knew very little about Araโs recent history.
But Max ignored my question. โYouย canย leave. You can do anything you want.โ
I paused. All at once, it hit me: for the first time in my life, that statement wasย true.
But then, that realization drowned beneath an onslaught of images. Esmarisโs dying face. Serelโs goodbye eyes. The incriminating burn of his departing kiss on my cheek.
Guilt clenched in my stomach. No. I wasnโt free. Not really. Not yet.
โI need to join the Orders,โ I said. โNura says I must be here for doing this. So no, I cannot leave.โ
โBad goal. For two reasons.โ Max raised a finger. โOne, because you shouldnโt join the Orders. I wish I hadnโt.โ Another finger. โAnd two. Because Iโm not going to train you. Itโs not personal, itโs just a matter of principle.โ
Beneath the table, my nails clenched against my palm. โI can help you in other ways. I can clean, or cookโโ
Max let out a choked laugh, brow furrowed. โAre you implying that I look like Iโm in desperate need of domestic help?โ
I glanced around the cluttered house and refrained from following up on that particular line of conversation.
โThere must beย somethingย Iโโ
โI donโt need to be harassed in my own home.โ Max stood up, stretching, then took my empty bowl and teacup. โYou can stay here for tonight.ย Justย tonight, and then tomorrow weโll figure out what to do with you.โ
I stood, too. Exhaustion sank into my eyelids, my bones, my muscles. Whatever Willa had done to heal me was miraculous, but she had been right: I was still not fully recovered.
โWashroom?โ I asked, and Maxโs arm waved from around the corner of the kitchen to gesture me down the hall.
That was a relief, at least. I had no idea how common such things were in Ara, and during my journey I had
relieved myself in enough disgusting or embarrassing places to last a lifetime.
I splashed some water on my face and then looked at myself in the mirror. It was an unusual piece โ clearly very old, framed with tarnished gold that twisted into a morass of little creatures. Bugs, dragonflies, lizards, snakes. My face reflected in the middle fit in far too well. Just another thing that looked like it would be rolling around in the dirt.
I grabbed a handful of my knotted hair, which I had still not managed to fully untangle. But in that touch, all I could feel was Esmarisโs hands clutching it, dragging me down to the ground with him.
Suddenly, the sight of it made me ill.
I peered out into the hallway, where Max was shu๏ฌing around the living room.
โDo you haveโ umโโ I racked my exhausted brain, searching for the right Aran word. โUmโ It saysโโ I held up my two fingers, bringing them together, making โsnp snpโ sounds with my tongue. โThis thing?โ
Max gave me a look of deadpan confusion. โHuh?โ
โIt saysย snp snp,โ I repeated, frustrated, bringing my fingers together again.
He stared at me like I was insane.
The Thereni word, of course, was screaming in my ears, even as the Aran one was nowhere to be found.
โOh.โ Max snapped his fingers in realization, then opened a drawer and held up a pair of gold shears. โScissors.โ
Iโd try to remember that and save myself some humiliation next time. I took them and returned to the mirror. And I did not hesitate, not even for a second, as I hacked my hair off in handfuls between my chin and shoulders.
I had kept it so long, after all, because Esmaris liked it that way. I didnโt have to care about that anymore. And by
cutting it all off, I could release myself from his final touch. Cleave away the last place he grabbed me.
A satisfied smirk curled the corners of my mouth.
I could feel Maxโs gaze as he leaned against the doorframe. โYouโre going to wish that you left it a little longer.โ
Another handful. I disregarded Maxโs statement. It felt good to have the ability to disregard the opinion of a man.
I shook my head, feeling the lightness, watching my shortened hair bounce above my shoulders. โIs good this way,โ I said, handing the scissors back to Max.
He shrugged. โYouโre going to have a hell of a time keeping it out of your face. Long is fine, short is fine. Itโs this in between stuff that gets you into trouble.โ He tucked the scissors into his pocket and jerked his chin toward the basin. โNot my problem, though, as long as you clean all that up.โ
I did as he asked. And I had never seen anything so beautiful as the fireplace flames claiming those tendrils of black and silver, shriveling them, reducing them to ash.
