Nina calls me the day after Grandma’s party.
“You seriously invited Ben to your grandma’s birthday party?” she says, by way of greeting.
I stretch out on my bed. The sun filters in through the blinds, already high in the sky. I’m hiding from my parents in my room like a teenager. “My grandma invited him. Wait, how did you know that?”
“Three different people called me and told me that he showed up at the birthday party and caused a scene.”
“He didn’t so much cause a scene as sit there and enjoy the chaos that his presence caused.”
“Oh, dear lord.”
“Honestly, I’m sad I didn’t film it.”
I would have liked to replay that smug little smile of Ben’s. That wasn’t a superhero smile. That was the grin of a man who liked to watch shit burn.
“You’re really going to do an interview with him?” “Yeah. I’m helping to fill in some gaps for him.” “I’m not sure if that’s brilliant or stupid, Lucy.”
“Same.”
She laughs. “You want to come for dinner tonight? Emmett wants to join us, and he doesn’t work on Sundays.”
“Sure.” I need an excuse to get out of the house. “Great. I’ll text you the address.”
 |
Nina Garcia lives in what I’d always considered to be the most boring part of Plumpton. A builder had quickly erected a clump of homes on the northwest side of town, all of which looked vaguely similar. Driving down the street is like the beginning of a horror movie. It’s too perfect to be real.
I park my car on the street and climb out.
I guess I was wrong about Nina—she actually meant it when she said I should come over to see her kids. She always was just a little bit too nice for her own good.
A small, dark-haired child with something blue smeared across his mouth opens the door after I knock.
“Hello,” I say.
He says nothing. He just stares. I’ve always admired the way kids unabashedly stare at you. They don’t care whether you’re uncomfortable. Kids have zero fucks to give about your feelings.
“Mijo, go find your brother.” Nina appears and ushers the giggling child away. “Sorry. He loves answering doors. He’s been obsessed with it lately.” She steps back, sweeping her arm out. “Come in, come in.”
She’s wearing a casual green dress, her soft curls loose around her face. I’d never noticed Nina and Emmett taking much romantic interest in each other when we were younger, but I can see why they’ve hooked up now. They’re both just very pretty.
I can’t help but think that Nina is here to torture me. She’s the living embodiment of what I could have been, if I’d had an hourglass figure and a touch more common sense.
I walk into the house and through a surprisingly neat living room. All the toys are stacked nicely in bins in the corner.
From the back of the house, a child lets out a shriek. I jump, but Nina looks unfazed.
Emmett walks into the room, a child hanging off either arm. The blue- mouthed one who opened the door is upside down, giggling. Emmett smiles at me. His dark blond hair is mussed, like there was a playful struggle back there with the kids. The kind of hair that’s begging to be touched again. Maybe pulled a little.
Jesus Christ. I’m such an idiot.
“Is it just me, or did he get really hot?” Savvy’s voice is in my head suddenly. I let her back in and now she won’t leave.
A memory of a random day with her in the restaurant takes shape, almost against my will.
“I’ve always thought Emmett was cute,” I said, glancing over to where he was standing by the door to the restaurant.
“Yeah, but he’s like ‘shove you up against a wall and fuck you’ hot now,” she said, and then laughed at the expression on my face. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You blush like a schoolgirl every time I bring up sex. I wish we’d hung out in high school. I would have had the most fun corrupting you.” She reached across the bar to pat my hand. “But I’m glad I have the opportunity now. Better late than never.”
“What’s better late than never?” Emmett asked as he slid onto the stool next to me.
“For me to corrupt this angel,” Savvy said sweetly.
Emmett barked out a laugh as Savvy walked to the other side of the bar to help a group of guys.
“You and Savvy Harper are friends now, huh?” Emmett gave me a deeply amused look.
“Yeah, I didn’t see that one coming either.”
“That’s what you get for moving back to your hometown. Eventually, you end up becoming friends with the former prom queen cheerleader.”
“I heard that!” Savvy called as she grabbed a glass. “And I was homecoming queen, not prom queen. We didn’t have a prom court.”
“The fact that you even know that,” Emmett said incredulously.
“Some of us didn’t pretend to be too cool for everything.” She gave us a meaningful look.
“Hey.” I swung an arm around Emmett’s shoulders. “We weren’t pretending. We actually were too cool.”
“No, we weren’t,” Emmett whispered. I shot him a grin. “No, we weren’t.”
Savvy winked at me. “Good thing you’re hanging out with me now.”
Emmett is staring at me. I try to look like a sane person who isn’t being bombarded by past memories. I don’t think I succeed.
Nina grabs the upside-down child and sets him on the ground. Emmett puts down the other, taller one.
“This is John and Chris,” Nina says, pointing to the little one, and then the bigger one. I’ve met the older one before, but she correctly assumes that neither of us remembers it all that well. “This is Lucy.”
I wave awkwardly. I’m never around kids. I don’t know how to act with them.
“Lucy is an old friend,” Nina says to them. Neither of them look like they give a shit. The smaller one—already forgot his name—is staring at me again, though.
The doorbell rings again, and the older one shrieks. “Abuela!”
“Come on,” Emmett says, casting an amused glance at me. He ushers the boys out the door.
“I asked my mom to watch them tonight so we could actually have some adult conversations,” Nina says.
“They’re cute,” I lie (all kids look the same to me). “Oh, thanks.” She smiles.” They’re a handful.”
Emmett returns, minus the kids. He walks to Nina, slipping an arm around her waist. She leans into him with an easy familiarity. The sort of couple that’s been together for a while but still remembers casual affection.
When we were in high school, Emmett used to talk about leaving Plumpton. Of the three of us, he was the one who seemed the most restless, the most eager to explore the world.
I wonder whether he’s disappointed he never got out. Or whether he’s jealous of me, for up and moving to Los Angeles.
But I didn’t really get out. I wasn’t here physically, but in a way, I’ve spent every day of the last five years here. Other people moved on with their lives. Look at Nina and Emmett.
I’m still defined by everything that happened to me in my hometown. By my first husband, and the life I had in my early twenties. I’m like the football jock who never gets over peaking in high school, except I’m the tragic murder version.
Fuck, that’s depressing.
Emmett gives me a concerned look, like he can read that emotion on my face, and I quickly look away and pretend to be fascinated by the family pictures hanging on the wall.
“Can I get you a drink?” Nina moves toward the fridge, covered in papers with scribbles that are supposed to be art, and Christmas cards of smiling children, even though it’s August. “Emmett and I don’t drink alcohol much, but I can offer you a Topo Chico.”
“Sure, thanks.” I don’t need any alcohol after yesterday’s extravaganza.
My head still hurts a little.
She opens the glass bottle of mineral water and hands it to me. “I’m really glad you came.”
“Well, I’m not exactly flush with invitations, if you want to know the truth.”
Emmett leans against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are people nicer than when you left?”
“Maybe. Less hostile, at least.”
He half smiles. “Folks have had some time to think about it.” “And what conclusion have they come to?”
Emmett and Nina exchange a look, and I know exactly what conclusion people have come to. The same one they always come to.
“I think some people are realizing they were quick to judge,” Nina says. “The DA would have tried you if they had enough evidence.”
I suppress a smile by taking a drink of my water. Nina says it like she’s trying to convince herself. She’s been lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, coming up with logical excuses why I might not have done it.
“We always had our doubts,” Emmett says quietly. “I appreciate that.”
They’re both quiet for a moment, exchanging another look I can’t quite pin down. Nina grabs a towel from the counter and twists it nervously in her hands.
“I still don’t remember anything, if that’s what you wanted to ask,” I offer helpfully.
Nina twists the towel so hard I think she’s going to rip it in half, and then turns away to open the oven a crack. “Hope you like lasagna!”
And then Savvy’s standing next to Nina, grinning with her smudged eyeliner, dark blond hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun.
I freeze. She’s a horrible, perfect hallucination. Everything I’ve been shoving into the deep recesses of my mind for five years come back to life to haunt me.
I want to force her out again. She shouldn’t be whispering to me, and she sure as shit shouldn’t be standing here with that familiar smirk on her face. Nothing good will come of it.
Of course, desperately pushing her away for five years hasn’t gotten me anywhere at all. My first therapist, the one I saw right after moving to Los Angeles, would barely be holding back an “I told you so” if she were here. She told me that ignoring Savvy’s voice wasn’t the solution. “She’ll come back,” she’d said. “You can’t ignore the past forever.”
The therapist was right, I was wrong. What else is new.
“Lucy doesn’t like lasagna,” Savvy offers helpfully. “This woman continues to be the fucking worst, Luce. No surprise there.”
I wince. Emmett looks concerned again.
Savvy saunters over to him. “He’s still super hot, though.” “You okay?” Emmett asks quietly.
Next to him, Savvy sticks her tongue in her cheek like she’s giving him a blow job. She doesn’t look the way people always describe her now. They talk about her on the podcast like she was an angelic blond angel. Gliding through life with a halo shimmering around her head.
The Savvy in front of me is the real version. Highlights grown out, makeup half-assed, frayed red bra strap sticking out from her tank top.
I clear my throat and force a smile at Emmett. “Yeah. Fine. Great.”
I am not okay. Letting myself think about Savvy again has brought her back to life, and I don’t think she’s going to leave until I figure out what happened to her. I will be haunted by my friend and her murderous musings for the rest of my life unless I get my shit together.
Savvy lets out a long, disappointed sigh. “Are we going to kill a dude or what?”
“Why don’t you sit down?” Emmett gestures to the table. “Yes, please sit!” Nina says. “Dinner is almost ready.”
I force a smile as I slide into a chair, and brace myself as the memory of that day with Savvy forms again, as clear as ever.
LUCY
FIVE YEARS AGO
“Yeah, sure, let’s kill my husband,” I said with a laugh. “How should we do it? Knife him while he’s sleeping? Push him into traffic? Wait, I know. Poison in the liquor bottle. Matt sucks down those drinks so fast he’ll be dead before he realizes the taste is off.”
I laughed again, but Savvy didn’t. She cocked an eyebrow. My smile slowly faded.
“Savvy.” I shifted on the barstool as I realized that I was the only person kidding around. “I can’t kill him. I can’t kill anyone.”
“Why not? He deserves it.” I opened my mouth to argue.
“Don’t you dare say he doesn’t.” She wrapped a warm hand around my arm. “I’ve seen bruises on you so many times, and I know you’re not even telling me the worst of it.”
I wasn’t. The worst of it was too much to recount. It wasn’t even that it was humiliating, I just couldn’t bring myself to put together words to explain how he’d choked me until I blacked out. Or when “things had gotten out of control” (as he always liked to put it) and he’d dragged me by my hair from the kitchen to the living room and then slammed my head repeatedly into the hardwood floors until I saw stars.
“He deserves it,” I confirmed quietly. “But even if I wanted to kill him
—”
“We,” Savvy interrupted. “Even if we wanted to kill him. I wouldn’t
make you do it alone.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Damn, Savvy, I knew you were ride or die, but that’s next-level.”
She tossed her hair over her shoulder with a grin. “I’m the best friend in the world, you can say it. And as the best friend in the world, I would be delighted to help you off your dickhead husband.”
I stared at her, still convinced she must have been kidding.
She cocked an eyebrow. “What do you say? Are we going to kill a dude or what?”
Listen for the Lie Podcast with Ben Owens
**EPISODE FIVE—“A MYSTERY WOMAN”**
Today, for the first time, you’ll hear from Lucy’s ex-husband, Matt Gardner. Since Savannah’s death, Matt has avoided the press and only agreed to talk to me because Lucy asked him to.
He arrives at my hotel room in Plumpton early in the morning, looking older and more tired than in the photos I’ve seen. I ask if he agreed to this interview because of Lucy.
**Matt:** Yeah, she mentioned I should talk to you.
**Ben:** Why?
**Matt:** I don’t know, I guess she likes you. Or… she wants to know who killed Savvy.
**Ben:** Let’s talk about your relationship with Lucy. Did you stay in touch after divorcing?
**Matt:** No. I hadn’t spoken to her at all since she left town five years ago. But she came by the house a few days ago, and we also had lunch recently.
**Ben:** She reached out to you, then?
**Matt:** Yeah. She just showed up one day.
**Ben:** How would you describe your relationship when you were married?
**Matt:** Mmmhh… passionate. We were really in love, but we also fought a lot. We probably got married too young. But I was crazy about her. From the moment I met her, I was smitten.
**Ben:** What did you fight about?
**Matt:** Normal marriage stuff. Money, in-laws, work. We probably should have gone to therapy. I realize now that we just weren’t very good at communicating with each other. I take some responsibility for that. I wish we’d worked on it instead of giving up.
**Ben:** You wish you’d stayed married?
**Matt:** I guess I don’t mean that exactly… it’s hard to know what would have happened. But with hindsight, I can see a world where we took a step back and tried to see the good in each other.
**Ben:** After Lucy was released from the hospital, she went to her parents’ almost right away instead of home. Several people I’ve talked to said you asked her to leave. Is that true?
**Matt:** That’s true.
**Ben:** Why?
**Matt:** It was just a lot to handle at the time. Savvy—our friend, not just hers—was dead, and the police were already asking questions that… it was a lot.
**Ben:** The police were asking questions that made you suspect your wife had killed her friend?
**Matt:** Well… I don’t know. They were asking questions that made me uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have sent her away. I feel bad about it now.
**Ben:** Did you visit her while she was at her parents’ house?
**Matt:** Uh, once, yeah.
**Ben:** How was Lucy doing then?
**Matt:** I… think she was about the same. Sad. Confused.
**Ben:** What did you do while Lucy was at her parents’?
**Matt:** What do you mean?
**Ben:** Just, in general. It must have been strange, having your wife out of the house, right? What did you do?
**Matt:** The normal stuff. Went to work. I worked more, actually. The local media would sometimes pop up at my house, so I stayed there a lot.
**Ben:** Did you stay with any friends?
**Matt:** I think I crashed on a buddy’s couch once or twice, yeah.
**Ben:** How about any women? Did you stay at the homes of any women? Or have them over?
**Matt:** I mean… it’s been five years. Like I said, I crashed on some couches. Maybe some were women.
**Ben:** I have two people who say they saw you regularly coming in and out of the house of a woman I’m choosing not to name here, for her sake.
**Matt:** Like I said, I stayed with some friends occasionally. Got away from the media.
**Ben:** They say the two of you had been sleeping together since before Savannah died.
**Matt:** I don’t know who these anonymous people are, and I don’t know why they think they know what I’m doing behind closed doors.
**Ben:** They also said that the woman started spending some nights at your house very soon after Lucy left.
**Matt:** Again, I don’t know why these people think they know my business.
**Ben:** So they’re wrong? Or they’re lying?
**Matt:** Yes, they’re wrong. And what does it even matter? How is it even relevant?
**Ben:** Good point. Let’s move on. How did you get home from the wedding?
**Matt:** I drove.
**Ben:** Even though you were, by your own account, pretty drunk?
**Matt:** Listen, it wasn’t a great decision. But yeah, I did. And I’d sobered up a bit by the time I left.
**Ben:** When was that?
**Matt:** Not long after Lucy and Savvy left.
**Ben:** But you didn’t see them?
**Matt:** No, they took the back road. I took the main road, like they told us to.
**Ben:** And you went straight home?
**Matt:** Yeah.
**Ben:** And you were alone the rest of the night? No one came and picked you up later that evening?
**Matt:** You know what, I actually think I’m going to leave. This was a bad idea.
**Ben:** A neighbor confirmed to the police that they saw you come home.
**Matt:** [muffled noises] I’m done.
**Ben:** That neighbor has since reached out to express regret about lying. They saw you, but another car showed up shortly after. They said it was a woman, and you two had an argument in your driveway.
**Matt:** [muffled noises, banging]
**Ben:** They didn’t know who the mystery woman was, but apparently you were shouting at her, and then she left. And then you got back into your car and drove away. So, you told the police you were home all night, but you were actually out during the time Savvy was murdered.
And that’s the end of the interview, folks. Matt left then, and I haven’t been able to get in contact with him since.
