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Chapter no 36 – JOANNA

Finding You

โ€œIโ€™VE DONE ALLย I can, Jo. The space is booked.โ€ Honeyโ€™s stern PR voice rattled my jaw over the phone.

Three days before Project Eirโ€™s main launch event was supposed to happen, she called to tell me the lodge we had booked was suddenly unavailable.

โ€œHow is that even possible?โ€ I tried to hide my annoyance at my sister

โ€”she was working for free, after all.

โ€œThey said that there was a double-booking. It happens.โ€ A curious trill in her voice had me squinting my eyes.

โ€œHoney, I have sixty people counting on us for a day of fishing, foodโ€” what the hell am I going to do?!โ€

โ€œLook. I will take care of this. I made a few calls and thereโ€™s another location that will be perfect, but you have to trust me.โ€ With that, she hung up.

Panic skittered through me. I knew the county too well. I had a feeling that Mr. Baileyโ€™s farm wasย the perfect locationย that Honey was talking about. Even theย possibilityย of running into Lincoln after a month of hiding my broken heart was unbearable. Had he moved on? Would I see him? Was he as miserable as I was?

I still felt a sharp wrench under my ribs every time I thought of his muscled arms wrapping around me, tucking me into his side. I missed the way he smelled. I missed the uptick of his mouth when I teased him and he tried not to laugh. Allowing myself a rare moment of weakness, I tilted my head back against my pillow. I closed my eyes and traced my fingertips over my lips, imagining Lincolnโ€™s kiss lingering over me.

 

โ€œTHIS SURE IS SOMETHING,ย GIRLY.โ€ Mr. Bailey stood at the edge of the porch, shaking his head at the cars and trucks that lined his gravel driveway.

โ€œI truly canโ€™t thank you enough.โ€

His eyes slanted at me, but I caught the sparkle in them just as he winked and turned away to walk inside the Big House. I knew that hard ass was a marshmallow inside.

I looked up at the Big House. It had new black shutters, and someone had sanded down the peeling paint, prepping it for a new coat. Care and love were going into restoring the once beautiful house. I let the wave of sadness pass over me and then tried to replace it with the joy of knowing Mr. Baileyโ€™s home was being cared for.

I tapped my thumb against my thigh, trying everything I could think of to expend the nervous energy radiating through me as I waited for our event to start. My cheeks hurt from the plastic smile Iโ€™d set in place.

โ€œStop making that face.โ€ Honey walked up the stairs to stand by my side.

โ€œIโ€™m not making a face.โ€ I scowled at her. โ€œIโ€™m smiling.โ€ โ€œWell, you look like you shit your pants. Just relax.โ€

A little shotgun burst of laughter escaped me, and my first genuine smile of the day spread across my face.

โ€œThere you go.โ€ Honey bumped her hip against mine. โ€œLook around, sis. You did this.โ€ She tipped her chin in the direction of a large white tent down by the riverfront. People were milling around, shaking hands, checking out equipment. There was a buzz of excitement in the air. I caught Finnโ€™s eye by the water, and he shot me two enthusiastic thumbs-up.

โ€œCrazy, right? I canโ€™t believe the turnout.โ€ My eyes darted nervously around the crowd, and I sank my teeth into the inside of my lip.

โ€œJoJo, I always knew you would do amazing things. Enjoy it.โ€ She glanced over and caught me staring at Lincolnโ€™s front door. My traitorous thoughts tried to will him into existence.

Her gaze followed mine when she spotted Colin hauling trays of food out of the back of his truck. He insisted that The Dirty Pigeon cater our event, free of charge. My heart tugged, and I was so thankful for him.

Honey tipped her head, peering over her sunglasses. โ€œWho isย that?โ€

I smiled. I had wondered how long it would be until she noticed Colin. โ€œThatโ€™s Lincolnโ€™s friend Colin. He owns the bar in town.โ€

โ€œMmmm.โ€ She licked her lips and shimmied her shoulders. Well, Colin was in trouble. Before leaving me, she hugged my shoulders and squeezed. โ€œIncoming,โ€ she whispered.

I looked away from Honey to see my mom and dad walking up the gravel driveway. I was stunned they had made the trip back to the town they tried so hard to forget.

โ€œI told them how important this was to you, and I wouldnโ€™t let them make any more excuses. Now they can see you shine.โ€ Honey winked at me and my wide-eyed expression. She walked down the porch steps, gave our parents a quick hug, and made her way toward an unsuspecting Colin. I slowly raised my hand in a wave, catching my dadโ€™s eye.

โ€œHi, sweetheart!โ€ my dad called as they walked toward me. โ€œHey, Dad. Mom. Thank you so much for coming.โ€

โ€œJoanna this isโ€ฆโ€ My mother looked around.

I whooshed out a breath. โ€œItโ€™s a lot, I know. I canโ€™t believe so many people came.โ€

โ€œThis is really impressive, darling.โ€ My dad nodded in greeting as people walked by.

Suddenly, my mom wrapped me in a tight hug. โ€œWeโ€™re very proud of you. Iโ€™m sorry we didnโ€™t understand it earlierโ€ฆhow much this means to you.โ€ My dad reached out to rub a circle on my back.

As we separated, Finn walked up, his goofy grin wide across his face. โ€œOkay, boss. Youโ€™re up.โ€ He tipped his head toward the tent.

I set my shoulders and lifted my head. My mother squeezed my hand, and I took one deep breath before walking down to the tent to welcome everyone.

 

Iย HIKED UP THE RIVERFRONT, admiring the small groups of men and women packing up and leaving the water. Most were experienced on the river and spent the time chatting with each other. The air danced with laughter, and I felt a lightness in my heart that I hadnโ€™t felt in a long time.

The eventโ€”the first of many, I hopedโ€”was a hit. We had volunteers signed up and veterans looking forward to having someone to fish with on a regular basis. A few landowners offered access to the river on a rotating schedule. It was a resounding success. I breathed deeply and raised my face to the fading sun. I closed my eyes and let the warmth wash over me.

โ€œJoanna Banana!โ€ Finnโ€™s deep voice rumbled behind me, and before I could react, I was scooped up. I laughed as we twirled, and Finn gave me a big squeeze before letting my boots touch the ground.

โ€œShouldnโ€™t you be packing up?โ€ I poked at his shoulder.

โ€œNah. I saw your pretty face, and I had to come over to tell you how amazing you are. I really miss having you around.โ€

My smile falteredโ€”ever so slightlyโ€”at his words, but I recovered just as quickly. โ€œThings have been really busy. Iโ€™m so grateful people were interested in signing up and volunteering. My parents even came. Can you believe that? They went back to the motel, but I hope you get a chance to meet them.โ€ I peeked up at Finn. The conversation felt strained and awkward.

I walked side by side with Finn, looking down and trying to avoid asking about Lincoln. He avoided the topic too, and our rhythm felt off.

โ€œLook.โ€ Finn stopped and faced me, placing his broad hands on top of my shoulders. โ€œI know Iโ€™m a shitty friend for bringing him up, but I have to tell youโ€”I told him.โ€

I closed my eyes. โ€œYouโ€™re not a shitty friend. Iโ€™m fine,โ€ I lied. โ€œHow did that go?โ€ I searched his kind face and found his eyes were clear and happy.

โ€œHe was surprised. I kind of threw it at him in the middle of his sulking over you.โ€ He shrugged his shoulders. โ€œActually, I yelled it at him in the middle of the Johnson family dinner so Iโ€™m sure theyโ€™ll be talking about that for a while.โ€ Finnโ€™s straight smile spread widely across his face.

I couldnโ€™t help but laugh. Finn was nothing if he wasnโ€™t joyful. He draped an arm over my shoulders and pulled me in for a quick hug. He continued. โ€œLinc told me that you kept my secret. I knew you would, but it means more to me than you know.โ€ The seriousness in his face had me stopping my gait.

I smiled up at my friend, pushing away the sharp pain that tucked itself under my ribs at the mention of Lincolnโ€™s name. Finn noticed my shift in demeanor so he quickly changed the subject and started rambling on about how we could expand Project Eir.

I listened half-heartedly while we walked, and I tossed a stick to Bud. When I flung it left, Bud started after it, then stopped and veered right, running straight up the small hill toward the cottages.

I whistled, but he ignored me. I tracked his movements and stopped when I saw Lincoln standing on top of the hill, hands in his pockets, looking down at Finn and me.

Bud tore off in his direction, running happy little circles at his feet. Lincoln reached down to scratch Bud behind the ears, and my heart sputtered in my chest. My feet were rooted to the ground.

As I gaped at Lincoln, my chest felt tight. I could appreciate the long lines of his muscular thighs, and my core ached in response. My eyes moved upward to his trim waist that gave way to a broad chest. Lincoln had his hands in his pockets, and a small smile played at his lips.

He lookedย good. Rested and self-assured. I stepped out from under Finnโ€™s arm and absently ran a hand over my flyaway hair. Panic rose in my throat.

What is he doing here?ย My eyes searched Finnโ€™s.

Finn just looked at me and smiled. He leaned down and kissed my cheek before whispering, โ€œYouโ€™ve got this. You can do this next part on your own.โ€

Finn stepped away, raising a hand in greeting to Lincoln before walking toward a group of fishermen.

Lincoln ambled toward me. My heart raced faster with every step he took closer to me. I thought of Finnโ€™s words and sucked in a deep breath, willing my nerves to settle.

When he finally reached me, he stood tall, looking down at me. His face was strained, but his eyes were soft. โ€œHello, Joanna.โ€

I swallowed the hard lump in my throat and willed my voice to be steady. I looked up to meet his steely blue eyes.

A thousand emotions swirled inside of me. Excitement. Hurt. Longing.

Anger. Love.

Love.

No matter how long we had been apart, my love for Lincoln swelled in my chest. I cleared my throat, hoping my voice would not betray me.

Lincoln reached up, brushing a stray hair from my eyes. His fingertip traced down the side of my face, and he let his palm linger, just a moment. I

wanted to lean into his hand. Close my eyes and feel the warmth of him pass to me. Instead, I gaped at him, unsure of what to say.

โ€œI am so proud of you. Everyone in town is talking about this.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m surprised you came.โ€ The steadiness in my voice shocked me, and my insides did a little fist pump.

โ€œI didnโ€™t want to upset you, but I needed to see you.โ€ Lincoln dropped his hand, reaching into his back pocket. He pulled out a thick envelope and paused. โ€œI have something for you.โ€

A pressing rhythm drummed inside me.

Lincoln placed the envelope in my hands. โ€œI hope this helps explain everything.โ€

As I stared at the crisp, white paper, a thousand questions burned in my mind. Lincoln placed a hand around the back of my neck as he leaned forward. He smelled like pine and campfire smoke, and I closed my eyes, inhaling the warm, masculine scent. I was not strong enough to resist his lips against mine. He bent lower, and I felt his full lips press against my cheek.

Lincoln pulled back and walked away. I held the letter to my chest, tears burning at the corners of my eyes. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed me melting into the ground. The crowd was dispersing, people shaking hands and driving away. The big white tent was being disassembled. I watched Lincoln join Finn and Colin as they loaded up the last of the serving dishes.

On the back porch, Honey was charming Mr. Bailey. I couldnโ€™t wait. I had to know what was inside the envelope. I pumped my legs in swift strides up the side of the hill. When I was sure I was out of view, I jogged behind one of the nearby cottages. I tore open the envelope to find a letter in Lincolnโ€™s masculine handwriting.

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