I felt like a fucking idiot.
For the past several weeks, I did everything I could to salvage my relationships. I spent more time with Finn and my mom, Deck and Colin, and Mr. Bailey. I stopped shuttering myself away despite the uncomfortable feeling that bloomed in my chest sometimes.
I knew I had to be a better man for myself, for them, and for Joanna. She might not ever forgive me for pushing her awayโpunishing her for my own fearsโbut until I was worthy, I was determined to work on myself.
I was so fucking proud of her. Word spread quickly in the county about Project Eir, and the buzz in our community swelled with pride for our girl. Once I had heard that she was planning a big event, I knew it was time.
Blowing out a stream of breath, I dialed the number. โHello?โ
โHi, is this Honey?โ โWell, holy shit.โ
So much for subtlety.ย I cleared my throat.โHi, Honey, itโs Lincoln.โ โOh, I know who you are.โ Well, she wasnโt giving me an inch.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
She hadnโt hung up on me yet so I took the opening. โI need your help.โ โWhat in the world makes you think that I would help you with shit?โ I had to smile at Honeyโs loyalty to her sister. I liked knowing Joanna had
someone to watch her back.
โI need to see her,โ I started. โMore than that, I need to make up for everything I put her through, the things I said to her.โ
โYou pushed her away, Lincoln. Itโs not easy for her to be vulnerable, and the second she was, you destroyed her.โ
My voice was thick with emotion. โI know. I thought I was protecting her.โ
โProtecting her from what?!โ Her voice pitched upward.
โI donโt even know anymore. Myself, maybe? Iโm aware that she deserves so much more than me, but Iโll be damned if another asshole takes my place. I need to show her itโs always been her.โ I hissed out a breath. Saying all that out loud wasnโt easy, and my insides felt raw.
Honeyโs voice softened at my confession, but her words were daggers. โWell, you better not fuck this up again or Iโll have your head on a platter.โ