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Chapter no 35

Fangirl Down

Josephine polished a pint glass and set it on the wooden shelf behind the register, turning it so the course logo was facing forward. Without pausing for thought or rest, she flew to the next box of inventory, slid the X-Acto

knife out of her back pocket, and sliced the tape, ripping the cardboard flaps wide. And did her best not to stare at the growing mountain of flowers, teddy bears, and bubble bath sets sitting just inside the door. Every time she turned around, another gift was being delivered. Accepting them was easy, but allowing herself to interpret their meaning was harder. She wasnโ€™t there yet.

So she kept stocking. Kept pushing.

She was so close to having the whole shop set up. Theyโ€™d open the doors tomorrow.

Right on time.

She wouldnโ€™t have spare moments to think about what was happening in Georgia. In fact, she didnโ€™t even want to know. It was day three of the Masters. Jim had let it slip on the phone this morning that Wells had made the cut and Josephine had been almost alarmed by the rush of giddy pride

that had rocketed through her bloodstream, but beyond that, she didnโ€™t even know his current score. That was fine. She needed to focus on the shop.

He didnโ€™t want her there. Otherwise sheย wouldย be in Georgia. End of story.

But as much as Josephine wasnโ€™t in Georgia, Wellsย wasย in Florida with her in so many ways. As agreed upon, half of his winnings from Torrey

Pines had been transferred to Josephine from his accountant yesterday, and after reeling over her new financial security, sheโ€™d promptly enrolled in a

health insurance plan. As soon as she paid the first premium, sheโ€™d burst into noisy tears. The upheaval of relief made Josephine wonder if sheโ€™d suppressed her worry over not having insurance for so long, sheโ€™d gotten used to living with the stress. And that realization was something she desperately wanted to share with Wells, which left her very conflicted.

Mad at him. Missing him. Mad at him. Grateful.

Josephine finished the glassware display and moved on to stacking boxes of golf balls, arranging them according to brand. When the letters on the box started to blur a little, she remembered her glucose monitor had been going off for fifteen minutes and forced herself to pop some tabs, chewing almost resentfully.

Breaks gave her time to think, and she really, really didnโ€™t want to think.

Thinking made the center of her chest feel like the Grand Canyon, just a yawning, arid place with acres of scorched earth and sharp plants.

Tell me you fucking love me.

For some reason, that was the part of their argument she replayed most. Because it was so Wells. Soย likeย Wells to demand something delicate with the roar of a king. Thatโ€™s what heโ€™d been doing all along. Shouting his

insecurities at her and disguising them as arguments. And she loved him so much for it. She loved him so much she could cry enough tears to fill a lake, just for missing his presence. The scruff of his chin, the scent of his deodorant, the roughness of his hips, those epiphanies that struck his brown eyes when she said something that made sense on the golf course, his

villainous frown. His deep voice, his grudging smile. The way he praised her, challenged her, coveted her. Spending a single second missing those things felt like a year.

And apart from that, apart from the razor-edged pining in her chest, she wondered if maybe, just maybe, heโ€™d truly done the right thing. She was hurt and bitter and still in shock from the man she loved banishing her, but the Golden Tee would be empty right now if Wells hadnโ€™t sent her away. It would be a shell. Or maybe the course would be showing it to prospective replacements. People who wanted to give it a different name, maybe do a wholeย newย renovation.

That would have killed her.

Missing Augusta was killing her, too. Slowly and painfully. Their cable had been installed this morning at the shop and the desire to turn on the

television was high. But no, she was too afraid to find out heโ€™d backslid and needed her.

Not when she wasnโ€™t there to help.

Josephine unstacked another box and got to work unpacking it. She was so absorbed in her task that she didnโ€™t hear Jim and Evelyn arrive. It wasnโ€™t until her mother planted a kiss on her cheek that she joined them in reality.

โ€œOh! Hey, Mom.โ€ She kissed Evelyn back, before giving her fatherโ€™s face the same treatment. โ€œWeโ€™re getting there.โ€

โ€œOh, Joey-Roo, itโ€™s really coming along. It looks wonderful,โ€ Evelyn effused.

Smiling was agonizing but she attempted one anyway. โ€œThanks. We still have quite a bit of landscaping to do outside, but nothing to prevent us from opening for business. Iโ€™m stopping by the bank tonight for cash. The credit card machines are up and running.โ€

Her parents nodded along with her verbal list of preparations. But when

she finished and they simply stared at her without responding, it occurred to her how frazzled she must sound.

โ€œSorry for the info dump. Iโ€™m just excited.โ€

โ€œOf course you are, Joey,โ€ Jim said, affection shining in his eyes. โ€œAnd weโ€™re so proud of you for . . . everything. Especially your determination to carry the Doyle torch. To keep it burning.โ€

โ€œWhy do I sense a but coming?โ€ Josephine asked warily. Evelyn smiled. โ€œWhen is there not a but coming with us?โ€ โ€œFacts.โ€

Her parents traded a look. โ€œFar be it from us to meddle in your romantic life, dear,โ€ Evelyn said. โ€œBut weโ€™re wondering if youโ€™re just going to ignore the flowers.โ€

Josephine squinted. โ€œThe flowers . . . ?โ€ โ€œAnd the giant teddy bears,โ€ Jim added. โ€œIโ€™m not following.โ€

Jim nudged his wife. โ€œDonโ€™t forget about the Bath and Body Works gift baskets.โ€ He winced. โ€œSeventeen of them, to be exact.โ€

โ€œOhhhh.โ€ Josephine figured she was abusing her tactic of choice, playing dumb, her gaze reluctantly tracking to the other side of the pro shop, where gifts from Wells were literally piled up to the ceiling. โ€œThoseย flowers and

bears and gift baskets.โ€

Evelyn nodded encouragingly. โ€œYes.โ€

โ€œI havenโ€™t decided what to do about those yet.โ€ โ€œDear.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll have to clear them out for the grand opening, butโ€”โ€ โ€œJoey, have you turned on the Masters?โ€ Jim broke in.

โ€œWe only got cable this morning!โ€

Evelyn just looked disappointed in her. โ€œHonestly, Joey. Quit being such a pussy.โ€

โ€œMom!โ€

The woman had the nerve to blush.ย โ€œWell. Stop!โ€

Jim was slowly recovering from hearing his wife say the P-word. โ€œUh . . .

Iโ€™m just going to turn it on. We can let Wells do the talking.โ€ What was that supposed to mean?

Josephine didnโ€™t know, but she lowered herself onto a box and hugged her knees, bracing. Maybe part of her had known for the last few days that as soon as she turned on the tournament, the ice layer that had formed on her lungs when Wells saidย youโ€™re firedย would melt. Just melt clean away.

And she was right.

There were a few minutes of footage of another pairing before the camera moved to Wells. But then . . . there he was.

Wearing pink.

That alone was enough to bring a watery, incredulous laugh tumbling out of her mouth, the shock that lingered inside her softening until it stung less.

And less. But then he turned around to retrieve a wedge from his bag and she saw it.

Her caddie uniform from Torrey Pines hanging from his back pocket. Josephineโ€™s heart squeezed so hard she gasped.

โ€œHas he been playing with that the whole time?โ€ Evelyn answered. โ€œYes.โ€

Josephine labored through a breath. A breath that hitched in her throat when the camera zeroed in on Wellsโ€™s face and she saw the patchy, whisker growth on his cheeks, the sunken quality of his eyes, the grim lines on either side of his mouth.

In short, he looked God-awful.

And yet . . . he was playing well and holding his own. Knowing the man like she did, however, it was impossible for Josephine to miss the effort it was costing him to maintain his spot on the leaderboard. He looked tired and haunted. Haggard.

A lot like she felt.

โ€œHoney, youโ€™ve done the hard part,โ€ Evelyn said softly. โ€œYouโ€™ve cleaned up the shop, restored it better than ever. We can rent clubs and sell

merchandise for the first couple of days. Rolling Greens and the Golden Tee will be right here waiting when you get back.โ€

โ€œBack from where?โ€

Jim implored the ceiling for patience. โ€œAugusta!โ€ โ€œDad, he needs to do this without me. Heย wantsย that.โ€

โ€œAnd I know you donโ€™t want to hear this, but that decision was fair enough, Joey. Relationships should be built onย evenย ground.โ€ He squinted an eye at her. โ€œDo you think that man wants whatโ€™s best for you?โ€

Of course he did.

The answer came to her without delay.

Her heart knew the truth, as well as her mind. Sheโ€™d never stopped trusting Wells, even in the thick of her anger. Sheโ€™d just been too hurt by his seeming rejection to acknowledge it. Now, though, with his beloved image moving on the screen, and quiet proof that he loved her adorning his body,

there was no more avoiding what she already knew. Heโ€™d taken that growth theyโ€™d achieved together and heโ€™d done the selfless thing. Heโ€™d made the decision she was too scared to make herself. His turn had arrived to be the strong one and heโ€™d risen to the occasion. Maybe she could have celebrated him for it if she hadnโ€™t been blindsided.

Now that sheโ€™d gained time and perspective, she had no choice but to see his actions for what they were. A man expressing his love the only way heโ€™d known how.

โ€œYes, I know he wants whatโ€™s best for me,โ€ Josephine said. โ€œAlways.โ€ โ€œDo you want whatโ€™s best for him?โ€

โ€œYes,โ€ she managed. โ€œOf course.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s love, honey.โ€ Evelyn tipped her head at the television. โ€œAnd even when itโ€™s hard or you have to swallow your pride, love should always be

celebrated.โ€

* * *

It wasnโ€™t that Wells didnโ€™t know how to win.

In his early days, heโ€™d won because being the best at something, being feared and revered, was like a drug after a lifetime of being ignored.

Suddenly everyone loved him and that felt great. It was a relief to know the people who treated him like an afterthought had been wrong.

Then he started winning for Josephine. Heโ€™d barely taken himself into account when theyโ€™d joined forces. Heโ€™d wanted success only so he could share it with her.

But on the final hole at Augustaโ€”day four, one shot off the leadโ€”he didnโ€™t have either of those things to win for. Accolades and reverence were fleeting in sports. Was it nice to win and earn back respect? Yeah. But if all of that shit went away, it wouldnโ€™t break him this time. Heโ€™d let it send him into a tailspin once, but never again. He knew what real success looked like nowโ€”earning the love and loyalty of his soul mate.

Did he want to win for Josephine? Hell yes. Purely because sheโ€™d believed in him when no one else would. But she wasnโ€™t there. In his head, maybe, but not physically.

And he was out of fucking steam.

Earlier today, heโ€™d rallied. Birdied nine holes, climbed to number one on the leaderboard. But heโ€™d bogeyed the last hole, gone into the water two

holes prior, and slipped to number two. Nakamura was lining up his shot now, twenty yards from where Wells stood. The veteran golfer was poised to win the Masters and he deserved it. Heโ€™d played four solid rounds.

And the guy probably wanted it so bad.

Look at that. His wife was waiting on the sidelines with the rest of the

gigantic crowd, holding on to an older womanโ€™s hand. Probably her mother- in-law. They were bursting with pride, waiting for Nakamura to sink this final putt and take the green jacket home.

Good. He was welcome to it.

Youโ€™re burning it all down, Josephine said in his ear.ย Why?

At the sound of her imaginary voice, Wells drifted back to a conversation theyโ€™d had in the dark one night in California.

โ€œWhich win do you remember most?โ€ Josephine had asked. โ€œMy second major.โ€

โ€œReally? Why?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know . . . I guess, because I wasnโ€™t an imposter on the tour after that.โ€

Josephine was quiet for a few moments, her index finger drawing circles in the middle of his chest. โ€œSo you remember it mostly because of how . . . other people would see you differently afterward?โ€

Heโ€™d been a little taken aback by that interpretation, but he couldnโ€™t completely deny it. โ€œI guess.โ€

โ€œBut what made it feel good for you?โ€

Another minute passed while he peeled back layers he didnโ€™t even know existed. Thatโ€™s what Josephine did. โ€œThe game . . . I was honored to become a part of the game. Itโ€™s old and loved by people whoโ€™ve come and gone . . . and thereโ€™s this beautiful ritual to it. Iโ€™d never had anything beautiful in my

life before that and I guess I was just stunned when it loved me back.โ€

Her appreciative exhale had roamed slowly over his body. โ€œRemember that, Wells.โ€

โ€œI will, belle.โ€

Recalling what it felt like to lie with Josephine in his arms and talk about their mutual love for the game had left his windpipe the size of a straw.

It shrank even more when Nakamura missed the putt.

The crowd let out an explosion of shock and disappointment. A rush of fire blew over his nerve endings.

Holy shit.

That shot should have been a gimme.

But the guy had missed. Which brought them even at fifteen under par. In other words, if Wells sank the next putt, he would win the fucking

Masters.

And he couldnโ€™t even see the shot. His brain wasnโ€™t working. Lack of sleep, lack of her, too much of everything else.

Josephine, where are you? Jesus.

He could recall her asking him, โ€œIf you could visualize the shot, what would it look like?โ€ He strode to the quarter heโ€™d left to hold his place, setting his ball in the same spot and pocketing the change. He turned his hat around, hunkering down and exhaling.

The crowd wasnโ€™t breathing.

The air had stopped moving. Not a hint of wind to dry the sweat beading on his forehead. His temples throbbed, along with the insides of his wrists.

It wasnโ€™t just a ball in front of him. It wasnโ€™t just a hole.

Or some sport.

It was the only good thing heโ€™d had in his life at one time. And he wanted to give this shot everything he had, didnโ€™t he? He had the right to want this

win.

Heโ€™d gotten here because of love and thatโ€™s how heโ€™d finish it.

Wells mentally calculated the yardage, the angle, took stock of the wind and the grass and his breathing. He took the putter from his caddie and lined up the shot.

And he took it for Josephine, but also for the directionless kid heโ€™d been at sixteen, the guy whoโ€™d lost his will to win at twenty-six but found his way back at twenty-nine.

And hell if the ball didnโ€™t curve high and right, then roll into the hole. Wells dropped his club as the crowd erupted, his new caddie slapping him on the back, reporters rushing at him from every direction, the crowd

surging toward the green as security attempted to keep them back, all under a totally airless blue sky. It was like something out of a dream, but it couldnโ€™t be, because Josephine wasnโ€™t there and he wouldnโ€™t waste a dream like that. Sheโ€™d beโ€”

There. She was standing behind the rope.

Wells free-fell right where he stood. The ground felt like it was rushing up to meet him, his heart thundering in his ears, but the image of Josephine didnโ€™t disappear no matter how many times he blinked or told himself it

was a mirage. She wasย right there, smiling through tears.

Holding herย WELLSโ€™S BELLEย sign. The original.

Sheโ€™d taped it together.

It fluttered to the ground when several fans boosted her up and over the rope, clearly recognizing her as his reason for living. His surroundings

became a blur, because Wells was jogging. And then he was running. But he didnโ€™t make it far before he was brought down to his knees, right in front of her, by gratitude and love so full and vast and all-encompassing that it rocked him to a core he didnโ€™t even know he had.

One Josephineโ€”and only Josephineโ€”had reached.

Ten years from now, people would claim he cried like a baby as he wrapped his arms around Josephineโ€™s waist and buried his face in her stomach. And he would deny it.

But he did. He cried like a motherfucker.

โ€œYou won,โ€ she half sobbed, half laughed. โ€œYou won, you won.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re here,โ€ he rasped, inhaling her scent, his hands roaming over her back to make sure she was real. โ€œYouโ€™re here.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m so proud of you,โ€ she whispered, her voice shaking with emotion. โ€œWells. Oh myย God.โ€

He buried his face deeper in her stomach for a moment, those wordsโ€” her prideโ€”making it necessary to gather himself.

โ€œYou were right. You did the right thing. I never could have done it myself.โ€ Her breath stuttered in and out. He held her tighter, trying to drown out the noise so he could hear. โ€œIโ€™m sorry I didnโ€™t see your act of selflessness for what it was. You love me, thatโ€™s why you did it. Even

though it was hard. And Iโ€™m just as proud of you for that, Wells, as I am of you winning today.โ€

Every syllable out of her mouth was an embarrassment of riches. Heโ€™d woken up this morning wondering if sheโ€™d ever speak to him again. Now she was validating the hardest decision of his life. Not merely forgiving

him, butย apologizing? Gratitude and relief poured down over his head like a healing rain, even as the need to reassure her overwhelmed him.

โ€œYou have no reason to be sorry. No. None. Iย hurtย you.โ€ He reached up and cradled her beautiful face in his hands, swiping away her tears with his thumbs. โ€œYouโ€™re forgiving me for that?โ€

โ€œYes.ย Do you forgive me?โ€

He started to issue another denial that she owed him an apology, but she laid a finger across his lips. โ€œFifty-fifty, Wells.โ€

This woman. She was a wonder. Every second with her was going to be a dream. Thank God he got to have seconds with her. Minutes. Years.

Decades. Every last one of them. โ€œThen I forgive you, too.โ€ He caught another one of her tears with his thumb, the very sight of it wrenching his heart sideways. โ€œAnd listen to me, weโ€™re going to be a team whether or not youโ€™re standing next to me in a uniform. When Iโ€™m not on tour, Iโ€™m with my girl. Iโ€™ll move to Palm Beach so fast, itโ€™ll make your ponytail crooked.โ€

She let out a watery laugh.

โ€œDonโ€™t worry, Iโ€™ll fix it for you. Iโ€™m an expert now.โ€

โ€œI love you,โ€ she sobbed with her eyes closed. โ€œItโ€™s like, painful, you know?โ€

Fuck. His vision was blurring again, too. So much that he had to bury his face in her stomach again so her shirt could absorb the moisture.

After taking several deep breaths to steady himself, he managed to look up into the eyes of his best friend, his equal, the woman he wanted to wake up beside every day for the rest of his life. He let the emotion in his chest flow out. โ€œI love you, too. So much. Deep down, I always believed weโ€™d find our way back to each other because love like ours doesnโ€™t just fade away. It cuts through everything. Itโ€™s the kind of love that starts and ends with us, you know? We both feel it.โ€ He lowered his head for a moment, struggling to catch his breath. Looking into her eyes was taking it away. โ€œWhile Iโ€™m down here on my knees, Iโ€™m asking you to be my wife. I can handle golf on my own, but I canโ€™t face a day where weโ€™re not together.โ€

โ€œIโ€™ll be your wife,โ€ she replied, her voice trembling with emotion. โ€œYes. I love you. Yes.โ€

Suddenly, he found the strength to stand again, to lift Josephine into his arms, holding her tightly, feeling as if he were soaring to the highest heights life could offer.

Life with Josephine.

โ€œI donโ€™t have a ring on me,โ€ he whispered hoarsely in her ear before pulling back to finallyโ€”thank God, finallyโ€”kiss her after what felt like an eternity. โ€œWill you accept a green jacket until I can get you one?โ€

She shook her head, smiling. โ€œIโ€™ll take you, Wells Whitaker. Iโ€™ll just take you.โ€

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