โThree months laterโฆโ
Dear Misha,
What. The. Hell?
Yeah, you heard me. I said it. I might also say this will be my last letter, but I know thatโs not true. Iโm not going to give up on you. You made me promise I wouldnโt, so here I am. Still Miss Fucking Reliable after three months of no word from you. Hope youโre having fun, wherever you are, douchebag.
(But seriously, donโt be dead, okay?)
You have the notes on the lyrics I sent with my previous letters. Kind of wishing I made copies now, since I feel like youโre gone for good, but whatโs the point? Those words are meant for you and only you, and even if youโre not reading the letters or even getting them anymore, I need to send them. I like knowing theyโre in search of you.
On the current news front, I got into college. Well, a few, actually. Itโs funny. Iโve wanted everything in my life to change for so long, and when itโs finally about to, my urge to escape slows down. I think thatโs why people stay unhappy for so long, you know? Miserable or not, itโs easier to stick with whatโs familiar.
Do you notice that, too? How all of us just want to get through life as quickly and as easily as possible? And even though we know that without risk thereโs no reward, weโre still so scared to chance it?
Iโm afraid, to be honest. I keep thinking things wonโt be any different at college. I still donโt know what I want to do. I wonโt be any more confident or sure about my decisions. Iโll still pick the wrong friends and date the wrong guys.
So, yeah. Iโd love to hear from you. Tell me youโre too busy to keep this up or that weโre getting too old to be pen pals, but just tell me one last time that you believe in me and that everythingโs going to be fine. Shit always sounds better coming from you.
I Donโt Miss You, Not Even a Little, Ryen
P.S. If I find out youโre ditching me for a car, a girl, or the latestย Grand Theft Autoย video game, Iโm going to troll theย Walking Deadย message boards under your name.
Capping my silver-inked pen, I take the two pieces of black paper and tap them on my lap desk before folding them in half. Stuffing them in the matching black envelope, I pick up the black sealing wax stick and hold it over the candle sitting on my bedside table, lighting the wick.
Three months.
I frown. Heโs never been quiet this long before. Misha often needs his space, so Iโm used to spells of not hearing from him, but something is going on.
The wax starts to melt, and I hold it over the envelope, letting it drip. After I blow out the flame, I pick up the stamp and press it into the wax, sealing the letter and finding the fancy, black skull of the imprint staring back at me.
A gift from Misha. He got tired of me using the one I got when I was eleven with a Harry Potter Gryffindor seal on it. His sister, Annie, kept making fun of him, screaming that his Hogwarts letter had arrived.
So he sent me a more โmanlyโ seal, telling me to use that or nothing at
all.
Iโd laughed.ย Fine, then.
When we first began writing each other years ago, it was a complete
mistake. Our fifth-grade teachers tried to pair up our classes as pen pals according to sex to make it more comfortable, but his name is Misha and my name is Ryen, so his teacher thought I was a boy, and my teacher thought he was a girl, etc.
We didnโt get along at first, but we soon found that we had one thing in common. Both of us have parents who split early on. His mom left when he was two, and I havenโt seen or heard from my dad since I was four. Neither of us really remember them.
And now, after seven years and with high school almost over, heโs become my best friend.
Climbing off my bed, I slap a stamp on the letter and set it on my desk to mail in the morning. I walk back, putting my stationary supplies back in my bedside table.
Straightening, I place my hands on my hips and blow out an uneasy breath.
Misha, where the hell are you?ย Iโm drowning here.
I guess I can Google him if Iโm that worried. Or search him on Facebook or go to his house. Heโs only thirty miles away, and I have his address, after all.
But we promised each other. Or rather I made him promise. Seeing each other, where we live, meeting the people the other one talks about in their letters, itโll ruin the world we created.
Right now, Misha Lare, with all of his imperfections, is perfect in my head. He listens, pumps me up, takes the pressure off, and has no expectations of me. He tells the truth, and heโs the one place I never have to hide.
How many people have someone like that?
And as much as I want answers, I just canโt give that up yet. Weโve been writing for seven years. This is a part of me, and Iโm not sure what I would do without it. If I search him out, everything will change.
No.ย Iโll wait a little longer.
I look at the clock, seeing that itโs almost time. My friends will be here in a few minutes.
Picking up a piece of chalk out of the tray on my desk, I walk to the wall next to my bedroom door and continue drawing little frames around the pictures Iโd taped up. There are four.
Me last fall in cheerleading, surrounded by girls who look exactly like me. Me last summer in my Jeep, with my friends piled in the back. Me in eighth grade celebrating 80โs Day, smiling and posing with my whole class.
In every picture, Iโm up front. The leader. Looking happy.
And then thereโs the picture in fourth grade. Years earlier. Sitting alone on a bench on the playground, forcing a half-smile for my mom who brought me to Movie Night at my school. All the other kids are running around, and every time I ran up and tried to join in, they acted like I wasnโt there. They always ran off without me and never waited. They wouldnโt include me in their conversations.
Tears spring to my eyes, and I reach out and touch the face in the picture. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. Like I was at a party I wasnโt invited to.
God, how Iโve changed.
โRyen!โ I hear someone call from the hallway.
I sniffle and quickly wipe away a tear as my sister opens my door and waltzes into my room without knocking. I clear my throat, pretending to work on the wall as she peeks around the door.
โBedtime,โ she says.
โIโm eighteen,โ I point out like that should explain everything.
I donโt look at her as I color in the same section I finished yesterday. I mean, really? Itโs ten oโclock, and sheโs only a year older. Iโm more responsible than she is.
I can smell her perfume, and out of the corner of my eye, I see that her blonde hair is down.ย Great.ย That probably means she has some guy coming over and will be well-distracted when I slip out of the house in a bit.
โMom texted,โ she tells me. โDid you finish Math?โ โYes.โ
โGovernment?โ
โI finished my outline,โ I say. โIโll work on the paper this weekend.โ โEnglish?โ
โI posted my review forย Brave New Worldย on Goodreads and sent Mom the link.โ
โWhat book did you pick next?โ she asks.
I scowl at the wall as white shavings drift to the floor. โFahrenheit 451.โ
She scoffs. โThe Jungle,ย Brave New World,ย Fahrenheit 451โฆโ she goes on, listing my latest non-school books Mom gives me extra allowance to read. โGod, you have boring taste in books.โ
โMom said to choose modern classics,โ I argue back. โSinclair, Huxley, Orwellโฆโ
โI think she meant likeย The Great Gatsbyย or something.โ
I close my eyes and drop my head back, releasing a snore before popping it back up again, mocking her.
She rolls her eyes. โYouโre such a brat.โ โWhen in Romeโฆโ
My sister graduated last year and goes to the local college while living at home. Itโs a great arrangement for our mom, whoโs an event coordinator and is frequently out of town for festivals, concerts, and expos. She doesnโt want to leave me alone.
But honestly, I have no idea why she puts Carson in charge. I make better grades and stay out of troubleโas far as theyโre awareโa hell of a lot better than her.
Plus, my sister only wants me in bed and out of the way so she can get it on with whatever guy is on his way over here right now.
Like Iโm going to tell our mom. Like I care.
โIโm just saying,โ she says, planting a hand on her hip, โthose books are a lot to wrap your head around.โ
โYou donโt have to tell me that.โ I play along. โAll those big concepts inside my itty bitty brain. Itโs enough to make me feel as dumb as a bag of wet hair.โ And then I assure her, โBut donโt worry. Iโll let you know if I need help. Now can I get my nine hours? Coach is taking us through a circuit in the morning.โ
She shoots me a little snarl and glances at my wall. โI canโt believe Mom let you do this to your room.โ
And then she spins around and pulls the door closed.
I look at my wall. I decorated it using black chalkboard paint about a year ago and use it to doodle, draw, and write everywhere. Mishaโs lyrics are scattered over the wide expanse, as well as my own thoughts, ideas, and little scribbles.
There are pictures and posters and lots of words, everything meaning something special to me. My whole room is like that, and I love it. Itโs a place where I donโt invite anyone. Especially my friends. Theyโll just make a joke out of my really bad artwork that I love and Mishaโs and my words.
I learned a long time ago that you donโt need to reveal everything inside of you to the people around you. They like to judge, and Iโm happier when they donโt. Some things stay hidden.
My phone buzzes on my bed, and I head over to pick it up.
Outside, the text reads.
Tapping my middle finger over the touchscreen, I shoot back,ย Be out in a minute.
Finally. I have to get out of here.
Tossing the phone down, I peel off my tank top and push my sleep shorts down my legs, letting everything drop to the floor. I dash to my arm
chair and snatch up my jean shorts.
Pulling them on, I slip a white T-shirt over my head, followed by a gray hoodie.
The phone buzzes again, but I ignore it.
Iโm coming. Iโm coming.
Stuffing some cash and my cell phone into my pocket, I grab my flip flops and lift up my window, tossing them out and sending them flying over the roof of the porch, down to the ground.
Scooping up my hair, I fasten it into a ponytail and climb out the window. I carefully push it down again, leaving my bedroom silent and dark as if I were asleep. Taking careful steps over the roof, I make my way over to the ladder on the side of the house, climb down to the ground, and pick up my sandals, dashing across the lawn to the road ahead where my ride waits.
I pull open the car door.
โHey,โ Lyla greets from the driverโs seat as I climb in. I glance back, spotting Ten in the backseat and toss him a nod.
Slamming the door closed, I bend over and slip into my sandals, shivering. โShit. I canโt believe how chilly it still is. Tomorrow morningโs practice is going to suck.โ
Itโs April, so itโs warming up during the day, but the early morning and evening temperatures still drop below fifty. I shouldโve worn pants.
โFlip flops?โ Lyla asks, sounding confused. โYeah, weโre going to the beach.โ
โNope,โ Ten chimes in from the back. โWeโre going to the Cove. Didnโt Trey text you?โ
I look over my shoulder at him.ย The Cove?ย โI thought they posted a caretaker on site to keep people out.โ
He shrugs, a mischievous look in his eyes.
Oooookay.ย โWell, if we get caught, you two are the first ones Iโm throwing under the bus.โ
โNot if we throw you first,โ Lyla sing-songs, staring out at the road.
Ten laughs behind me, and I shake my head, not really amused. The thing about being a leader is that someoneโs always trying to take your job. I was joking with my comment. I donโt think she was.
Lyla and Tenโa.k.a. Theodore Edward Neilsonโare, for all intents and purposes, my friends. Weโve known each other throughout middle school and high school, Lyla and I cheer together, and theyโre like my suit of armor.
Yeah, they can be uncomfortable, they make too much noise, and they donโt always feel good, but I need them. You donโt want to be alone in high school, and if you have friendsโgood ones or notโyou have a little power.
High school is like prison in that way. You canโt make it on your own. โIโve got Chucks on the floor back there,โ Lyla tells Ten. โGet them for
her, would you?โ
He dips down, rustling through what is probably a mountain of crap on the floor of the 90โs BMW Lylaโs mom passed down to her.
Ten drops one shoe over the seat and then hands me the other one as soon as he finds it.
โThanks.โ I take the shoes, slip off my sandals, and begin putting them
on.
Iโm grateful for the shoes. The Cove will be filthy and wet.
โI wish Iโd known sooner,โ I say, thinking out loud. โI wouldโve
brought my camera.โ
โWho wants to take pictures?โ Lyla shoots back. โGo find some dark little Tilt-a-Whirl car when we get there and show Trey what it means to be
a man.โ
I lean back in my seat, casting a knowing smile. โI think plenty of girls have already done that.โ
Trey Burrowes isnโt my boyfriend, but he definitely wants the perks.
Iโve been keeping him at armโs length for months.
About to graduate like us, Trey has it all. Friends, popularity, the world bowing at his precious feet… But unlike me, he loves it. It defines him.
Heโs an arrogant mouth-breather with a marshmallow for a brain and an ego as big as his man-boobs. Oh, excuse me. Theyโre calledย pecs.
I close my eyes for a second and breathe out.ย Misha, where the hell are you?ย Heโs the only one I can vent to.
โWell,โ Lyla speaks slowly, staring out the window. โHe hasnโt had you, and thatโs what he wants. But heโs only going to chase for so long, Ryen. It wonโt take him long to move onto someone else.โ
Is that a warning? I peer at her out of the corner of my eye, feeling my heart start to race.
What are you going to do, Lyla? Sweep in and take him from under me if I donโt put out? Delight in my loss when he gets tired of waiting and screws someone else? Is he doing someone else right now? Maybe you?
I fold my arms over my chest. โDonโt be concerned about me,โ I say, toying right back. โWhen Iโm ready, heโll come running. No matter whom heโs killing time with.โ
Ten laughs quietly from the backseat, always in my corner and having no idea Iโm talking about Lyla.
Not that I care if Trey comes running or not. But sheโs trying to bait me, and she knows better.
Lyla and I are both brats, but weโre very different. She craves attention from men, and sheโll almost always give them what they want, confusing
shallow affection for real feelings. Sure, sheโs dating Treyโs friend, J.D., but it wouldnโt surprise me to see her go after Trey, too.
Winning a guy makes her feel above us all. They have girlfriends, but theyย wantย her. It makes her feel powerful.
Until she realizes they want anyone, and then sheโs right back where she started.
Me, on the other hand? Iโm weak. I just want to get through the day as easily as possible. No matter who I step on to do it. Something I learned not long after that picture of me sitting alone on that bench on Movie Night was taken.
Now Iโm not alone anymore, but am I happier? The juryโs still out on that.
Reap, reap, reap, you donโt even know, all you did suffer is what you did sow.
I smile small at Mishaโs lyrics. He sent them to me in a letter once to see what I thought, and they make a lot of sense. I asked for this, didnโt I?
โI hate this road,โ Ten pipes up. His voice is filled with discomfort, and I blink, leaving my thoughts.
I turn my head out the window to see what heโs talking about.
The headlights of Lylaโs car burn a hole in the night as the light breeze makes the leaves on the trees flutter, showing the only sign of life out on this tunnel-like highway. Dark, empty, and silent.
Weโre on Old Pointe Road between Thunder Bay and Falconโs Well.
I turn my head over my shoulder, speaking to Ten. โPeople die everywhere.โ
โBut not so young,โ he says, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. โPoor kid.โ
A few months ago, a jogger named Anastasia Grayson, who was only a year younger than us, was found dead on the side of this very road. She had a heart attack, although Iโm not sure why. Like Ten said, itโs unusual for someone so young to die like that.
Iโd written to Misha about it, to see if he knew her, since they lived in the same town, but it was in one of the many letters he never responded to.
Taking a right onto Badger Road, Lyla digs in her console and pulls out a tube of lip gloss. I roll down the window, taking in the crisp, cool sea air.
The Atlantic Ocean sits just over the hills, but I can already smell the salt in the air. Living several miles inland, I barely even notice it, but coming to the beachโor the Cove, the old theme parkย nearย the beach where weโre goingโfeels like another world. The wind washes over me, and I can almost feel the sand under my feet.
I wish we were still going to the beach.
โJ.D.โs already here,โ Lyla points out, pulling into an old, nearly deserted, parking lot. Her headlights fall on a dark blue GMC Denali sitting haphazardly in no designated space. I guess the paint marking where to park wore off long ago.
Waist-high weeds sway in the breeze from where they sprout up through the cracks in the pavement, and only the moon casts enough light to reveal what lies beyond the broken-down ticket booths and entrances. Looming still and dark, towers and buildings sit in the distance, and I spot several massive structures, one in the shape of a circleโmost likely a Ferris wheel.
As I turn my head in a one-eighty, I see other similar constructions scattered about, taking in the bones of old roller coasters that sit quiet and haunting.
Lyla turns off the engine and grabs her phone and keys as we all exit the car. I try to peer through the gates and around the dilapidated ticket booths
to see what lies beyond in the vast amusement park, but all I can make out are dark doorways, dozens of corners, and sidewalks that go on and on. The wind that courses through the broken windows sounds like whispers.
Too many nooks and crannies. Too many hiding places.
I pull up the sleeves of my hoodie, all of a sudden not feeling so cold.
Why the hell are we here?
Looking to my right, I notice a black Ford Raptor sitting under a cover of trees on the edge of the parking lot, and the windows are blacked out. Is someone inside?
A shiver runs up my spine, and I rub my arms.
Maybe one of Treyโs or J.D.โs friends brought their own car tonight. โHoo, hoo, hoo,โ a voice calls out, imitating an owl. I tear my eyes
away from the Raptor, and we all look up in the direction of the noise. โOh, my God!โ Lyla bursts out, laughing. โYou guys are crazy!โ
I shake my head as Ten and Lyla hoot and holler, running toward the Ferris wheel just inside the gate. Scaling the grungy yellow poles about fifty feet above us, between the cars of the old ride, is Lylaโs boyfriend, J.D., and his buddy, Bryce.
โCome on,โ Lyla says, climbing over the guard rail toward the Ferris wheel. โLetโs go see.โ
โSee what?โ I ask. โRides that donโt run?โ She races off, ignoring me, and Ten laughs.
โCome on.โ He takes my hand and pulls me away from the ride.
I follow him as we head deeper into the park, both of us wandering down the wide lanes that were once packed with crowds of people. I look left and right, equal parts fascinated and creeped out.
Doors hang off hinges, creaking in the breeze, and moonlight glimmers off the glass lying on the ground beneath broken windows. The wind blows
through the elephant and hot air balloon cars on the kidsโ rides, and everything is hollow and dark. We walk past the carousel, and I see rain puddles sitting on the platform and dirt coating the chipped paint of the horses.
I remember riding that when I was little. Itโs one of the only memories I have of my father before he split.
The yelling and squealing of our friends fade away as we keep walking farther into the park, our pace slowing as I take in how much still remains.
This place used to be full of laughter and screams of delight, and now itโs abandoned and left to decay alone, all of the joy it once contained forgotten.
A few short years. Thatโs all itโs been since Adventure Cove closed its gates.
But regardless, deserted and neglected, itโs still here. I inhale a deep breath, taking in the smell of old wood, moisture, and salt.ย Deserted and neglected, Iโm still here, Iโm still here, Iโll always be hereโฆ
I laugh to myself.ย Thereโs a song lyric for you, Misha.
I stroll behind Ten, thinking of all the musings Iโve mailed my pen pal over the years that heโs turned into songs. If he ever makes it big, he owes me royalties.
โKind of sad,โ Ten says, wandering past gaming booths and letting his hand graze the wooden frames. โI remember coming here. Still feels like itโs alive, doesnโt it?โ
The night wind sweeps down the empty lanes between the booths and food stands, sending my fly-aways floating around me. The air wraps around my legs and blows against my sweatshirt, plastering it to my body like a skin as chills start to spread up my neck.
All of a sudden I feel surrounded.
Like Iโm inside the still funnel of a violent tornado. Like Iโm being watched.
I cross my arms over my chest as I hurry up next to Ten. โWhat are you doing?โ I ask, trying to cover my jitters with annoyance.
He pulls at the shutter of one of the wooden gaming booths, and although it gives a little, it wonโt lift completely due to the padlock keeping it shut. โGetting you a teddy bear,โ he answers as if I shouldโve known that.
โYou really think they still have prizes in there after all these years?โ โWell, itโs locked, isnโt it?โ
I chuckle and continue to watch as he grabs the side with both hands and heaves backward.
โJ.D., stop it!โ Lylaโs voice rings out in the distance, and I look up to see their dark forms still climbing the Ferris wheel.
โAha!โ Someone else laughs.
Ten gives up on the yanking and starts inspecting the lock, as if he can just pull it open, when I drop my gaze and notice the grungy and shredded red and white plastic table skirt underneath the shutter on the bottom half of the booth.
I lightly kick my foot out, seeing the plastic give way as it flaps back and forth, indicating Tenโs way in.
He stops, forgetting the shutter, and scowls at the skirt. โI knew that.โ โThen go get me a teddy bear,โ I demand, giving him a small smile.
And he dips down on his hands and knees, mumbling as he crawls through the table skirt. โYes, Your Highness.โ
โUse your phone for light!โ I shout as he disappears inside. โDuh.โ
I laugh at his muffled attitude. Out of everyone I call a friend at school, Ten is the closest to the real deal. Not as close as Misha, but close. I donโt
have to fake it much around him.
The only thing that holds me back from getting too attached to him is his friendship with Lyla. If I left the security of my fragile little circle, would he come with me?
I honestly donโt know.
โNo teddy bears!โ he calls. โBut they have inflatables!โ Like beach balls?
โAre they still inflatable?โ I joke. But he doesnโt answer.
I lean in close to the shutter, training my ears. โTen?โ I hear nothing.
The hair on my arms stand on end, and I straighten, calling again, this time louder. โTen? Are you okay?โ
But then something wraps around my waist, and I jump, sucking in a breath as a voice growls deep in my ear, โWelcome to the Carnival, little girl.โ
My heart pounds in my ears, and I yank away, whipping around to find Trey holding a flashlight under his chin. The glow illuminates his face, emphasizing his devilish grin.
Jerk.
He smiles from ear to ear, his light-brown hair and cocoa eyes shining. Dropping the flashlight, he rushes up to me, and I barely have enough time to catch a breath before he dips down, lifts me off my feet, and tosses me over his shoulder.
โTrey!โ I growl, his shoulder bone digging into my stomach. โKnock it off!โ
He laughs, slapping me on the ass, and I cringe, feeling his hand graze down my thigh.
โNow, dumbass!โ I shout, slapping him on the back.
He continues to chuckle as he sets me back on my feet, keeping his arm around my waist.
โMmmm, come here,โ he says as he backs me into the wall of the booth. โSo you gotta taunt me, huh?โ His knuckles brush the front of my bare thigh. โYou wear that little cheerleading skirt at school, where I canโt touch you, and now when I can, you wear shorts.โ
โWhat?โ I play with him. โMy legs look different in a skirt?โ
โNo, they look great either way.โ He leans in, the beer on his breath making me wince a little. โI just canโt stick my hand up a pair of shorts.โ
And then he tries to as if proving a point.
I knock his hands away. โYeah, the thing is…โ I say. โAย boyย whines. A man doesnโt let anything get in his way. Shorts or no shorts.โ
His eyes fall down my body and raise again, boring into mine. โI want to take you out.โ
โYeah, I know what you want.โ
Treyโs been flirting for a while, and I know exactly whatโs on his mind, and it isnโt dinner and a movie. If I give him an inch, heโll take a mile. I may not need a ring on my finger to have fun with someone, but I also donโt want to be a notch on his belt.
So I donโt give in to him. But I donโt reject him, either. I know what happened to the last girl who did that.
โYou want it, too,โ he shoots back, his wide shoulders and hard chest crowding me in. โIโm the shit, baby, and I always get what I want. Itโs only a matter of time.โ
I stare right through his ego, seeing a guy who toots his own horn, because heโs either afraid others wonโt do it for him or he needs to remind
himself how awesome he is. Trey Burrowes is a house of bricks balancing on a toothpick.
Something brushes my calf, and I look down just in time to see Ten crawling out from under the gaming booth. I move out of the way and push Trey back, noticing that Ten holds something in his hand.
โI got a sword,โ he says, waving the plastic inflatable in front of us. Trey snickers. โYeah, me, too.โ
And I swallow the bad taste in my mouth at his crude joke.
He turns away, growing quiet, his attention immediately drawn up to the Ferris wheel.
So easily distracted. So easily bored.
โTell you what,โ I say, speaking to Trey as I stroll over and hook an arm through Tenโs. โIโll let you take Ten home.โ
Trey jerks his head over his shoulder, looking at me like Iโm crazy. โAnd then you can take me home,โ I finish, seeing his eyebrow arch in
interest.
School ends in six weeks. I can fake this a while longer. I donโt want to go out with him, but I donโt want to wake up tomorrow to a nasty rumor thatโs not true plastered all over Facebook, either. Trey Burrowes can be nice, but he can be a real asshole, too.
A smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, and he turns back around.
โAll you have to do is catch me,โ I tell him, grabbing Tenโs hand. โSo count to twenty.โ
โMake it five,โ Ten jokes, backing away with me. โHe doesnโt know how to count to twenty.โ
My stomach shakes with a laugh, but I hold it back.
Trey smirks, staring at me like Iโm a meal he wants and nothing is going to stop him. And then he opens his mouth, slowly stepping toward us.
โOneโฆโ
And at that warning, Ten and I spin around and dash for the back of the park.
We both laugh as we race down paths thick with wet leaves and fallen branches, and whip around broken booths. We pass the Orbiter, Log Flume, and Tornado, which I remember used to play a lot of Def Leppard.
The Zipper still stands, dark and rusted, and we weave through the old swings, the cold chains brushing against my arms. They squeak, probably giving away our position as I charge after Ten.
โIn here!โ he shouts.
I suck in a breath and follow as he dives into a small building that looks like it was meant for employees. Stepping into the darkness, I pull the door closed behind me and wince at the musty air that hits my nose.
Ten takes his phone out, lighting the room with his flashlight, and I do the same. The floor is littered with debris, and I hear a drip coming from somewhere.
But we donโt pause to explore. Ten heads for what looks like a stairwell, rounding the railing and taking a step down.
Thatโs weird. The stairs lead below, underground.
โDown there?โ I breathe out, peering over the steel-green bars and seeing only pitch-black darkness below. Fear creeps in, sending chills down my spine.
โCome on.โ Ten begins down the steps. โItโs only a service tunnel. A lot of theme parks have them.โ
I pause for a moment, knowing full well that anything could be lurking down there. Animals, homeless peopleโฆdead people.
โThey used to control the animatronics and stuff from down here,โ he calls up to me as he descends with his light. โItโs a way for the staff to get
around the park quickly. Come on!โ
How the hell would he know all that?ย I didnโt know theme parks had an underground.
But I can feel the threat of Trey at my back, so I let out a breath and swing around the bannister, heading down after Ten.
โThere are lights on down here,โ he says as he reaches the bottom, and I come up behind him, glancing over his shoulder to see what lies ahead.
My stomach somersaults. The long, subterranean path is built solely of concrete, a square tunnel about ten feet wide from side to side and top to bottom. There are scattered puddles, probably from rain run-off, a pipe leak, or maybe cracks in the walls letting in ocean water. They glimmer with the track lighting overhead.
A black void looms at the end of the tunnel, and I run my hands up and down my arms, suddenly cold.
โThe lights are probably connected to the city,โ I say. โMaybe theyโre on all the time.โ
Of course, I have no ideaโand why would they be on all the time? But lying to myself makes me feel better.
I hear a door slam up above, and I jump, glancing up the stairs for a split-second before planting my hand on Tenโs back and pushing him forward.
โShit,โ I whisper. โGo, go, go!โ
We race down the tunnel, my heart beating against my chest as we pass random doors and more passageways leading off to the sides of the main one weโre running down. I stay straight, though, feeling an excited smile creep up despite my fear.
I canโt help but think if it were Misha chasing us, he wouldnโt run after me. But he wouldnโt lose, either. Heโd find a way to outsmart me.
I hear footfalls behind us, and I glance over my shoulder to see a light bobbing down the stairwell. Holding my breath, I grab the back of Tenโs T- shirt and yank him into the room on the right. The door is missing, so we swing inside and hide behind the wall, breathing hard as we try to be still.
โCareful, babe,โ Ten says. โYouโre acting like youย donโtย want to be caught.โ
Yeah, I donโt want to be caught. Iโd rather be waxed. Every day. Right before a scalding hot salt bath.
Itโs not that Iโm not attracted to Trey. Heโs good-looking and built, so why wouldnโt I be?
But no. I wonโt be one of his girls prancing down the hall at school in my skin-tight skirt while he slaps me on the behind and his friends pat him on the back, because Iโm his newest piece-of-ass trophy.
Insert hair flip and giggle. Not fucking likely.
Pressing my head close to the wall, I train my ears, gauging how close he is to us.
Did he turn back? Take a side tunnel?
But then I narrow my eyes, noticing a faint whine instead. As if thereโs a mosquito buzzing around the room.
โDo you hear that?โ I whisper to Ten.
I canโt make out his face, but his dark form stills as if listening. And then I see him digging in his jeans for something. A moment passes, and then his phone casts a small glow into the room, and I turn, widening my eyes at the sight of a bed, mussed white sheets, and a small table.
What the hell?
Ten moves farther into the room, getting closer to the bed. โSo thereย isย a caretaker on site. Shit.โ
โWell, if there is,โ I speak low, approaching him as I study the items on top of the sheets, โwhy didnโt he kick us out when we got here?โ
Ten holds up his phone, looking around the room, while I skim over the things on the bedside table and bed. Thereโs a watch on an old, black suede cuff laying on top of a picture of, what looks like, nearly an identical watch. Thereโs also a couple of paperbacks sitting on a pillow, an iPod with headphones attached, and a notebook with a pen lying next to it. I pick up the notebook and flip it over, seeing what looks like a manโs writing.
Anything goes when everyone knows
Where do you hide when their highs are your lows? So much, so hard, so long, so tired,
Let them eat until youโre ground into nothing.
Donโt you worry your glossy little lips, What they savor โventually loses its flavor. I wanna lick, while you still taste like you.
My chest rises and falls in shallow breaths, and my thighs clench.
I wanna lickโฆ
Damn. A cool sweat spreads down my back as a picture of lips whispering those words against my ear hits me. Iโve never been much into poetry, but I wouldnโt mind more from this guy.
A familiar feeling falls over me, though, as I study the tails of the yโs and the sharp strokes of the sโs that look like little lightning bolts.
Thatโs weird.
But no, the paper is cluttered with writing over more writing and scribbles and scratches. Itโs a mess. The rest looks nothing like Mishaโs
letters.
โWell,โ I hear Tenโs voice mumble at my side, โthatโs creepy.โ
โWhat?โ I ask, tearing my eyes away from the rest of the poem and turning my head to look at him.
But heโs not watching me. I follow to where his flashlight is shining, and I finally see the wall. Dropping the notebook to the bed, I peer up as Ten runs the light over the entire surface.
ALONE.
Itโs written in large black letters, spray-painted and jagged, each letter nearly as tall as me.
โRealย creepy,โ Ten repeats.
I inch backward, glancing around the room and taking it all in.
Yeah.ย Photos on the wall with faces scratched out, ambiguous poetry, mysterious, depressing words written on the wallโฆ
Not to mention someone is sleeping in here. In this abandoned, dark tunnel.
The distant whine suddenly catches my attention again, and I follow it, leaning down closer to the bed. I pick up the headphones and hold them to my ear, hearing โBleed It Outโย playing.
Shit.ย I immediately drop the headphones, a breath catching in my throat. โThe iPodโs on,โ I say, shooting up straight. โWhoever he is, he was just
here. We need to go. Now.โ
Ten moves for the doorway, and I turn away from the bed, but then I stop.
Spinning back around, I dip down and rip the page out of the notebook.
I have no idea why I want it, but I do.
If it is a guy living here, he probably wonโt miss it, anyway, and if he does, he wonโt know where it went.
โGo,โ I tell Ten, nudging his back.
And I fold up the page and stuff it in my back pocket.
Holding up our phones, we step out of the room and turn left. But just then someone catches me in their arms, and I yelp as Iโm squeezed until I canโt breathe.
โGotch-ya!โ a male voice boasts. โSo how about that ride now?โ
Trey.
Squirming, I pull out of his hold and twist around. Lyla, J.D., and Bryce stand behind him, laughing.
โDamn!โ Ten shouts, breathing hard. He was obviously caught off guard by their sudden appearance, too.
โYou mightโve turned off the flashlights,โ Lyla scolds with a smirk on her face. โWe could see them as soon as we came down.โ
I move past them, back toward the stairs, ignoring her. If we hadnโt been investigating that room, the flashlights on our phonesย wouldโveย been off.
โWhat are you guys doing down here anyway?โ J.D. asks.
โJust go,โ I snap, frustration getting the better of me. โLetโs get out of here.โ
Everyone starts moving back down the tunnel, and I glance over my shoulder, peering into the nearly pitch-black void and the doorway to the room weโd just been in.
Nothing.
Just dark corners, shifting shadows, and the occasional glimmer of fluorescent light catching in the puddles of waterโฆ I see nothing.
But I canโt shake the unsettling feeling that someoneโs watching us.
โThis was not the kind of fun I had in mind when you suggested the Cove,โ Lyla complains, carefully avoiding the small pools of water.
I turn back, trying to ignore my unease as I hurry up the steps. โYeah, well, donโt worry,โ I mumble loud enough for them to hear. โThe backseat of J.D.โs car isnโt far away.โ
โHell yeah.โ J.D. chuckles.
I fight the urge to glance back down the dark tunnel one more time as I ascend the stairs, the sensation of being watched lingering.