โThings Hot Pink and Harry Styles Have in Commonโ
โWhich bed is hers?โ Flint asks as he propels me over the threshold.
โThe one on the right,โ Macy answers. Her voice is back to sounding funny, so I glance over my shoulder to make sure sheโs okay.
She looks fine, but her eyes are huge, and they keep darting from Flint to the rest of the room and back again. I give her aย whatโs upย look, but she just shakes her head in the universal sign forย donโt say ANYTHING. So I donโt.
Instead, I look around the room Iโm going to share with my cousin for the next several months. It takes only a couple of seconds for me to figure out that no matter what she said about being okay with me having my own room, she had planned on me rooming with her all along.
For starters, all her possessions are arranged neatly on one rainbow-colored side of the room. And for another, the spare bed is already made up inโof courseโhot-pink sheets and a hot-pink comforter with huge white hibiscus flowers all over it.
โI know you like surfing,โ she says, watching me eye the blindingly bright comforter. โI thought you might like something that reminds you of home.โ
That shade of pink reminds me of surfer Barbie more than it reminds me of home, but no way am I going to say that to her. Not when itโs obvious sheโs gone out of her way to make me feel comfortable. I appreciate she cared enough to try. โThanks. Itโs really nice.โ
โItโs definitely cheerful,โ Flint says as he helps me to the bed. The look he gives me is totally tongue-in-cheek, but that only makes me like him more. The fact that he realizes how absurd Macyโs decorating choices are but is way too nice to say anything that might hurt her feelings totally works for me. If Iโm lucky, maybe Iโve made another friend.
He drops my suitcases at the foot of the bed, then steps back as I sink onto my mattress, my head still spinning a little.
โDo you guys need anything else before I head out?โ Flint asks after we are completely disentangled.
โIโm good,โ I tell him. โThanks for the help.โ
โAny time, New Girl.โ He flashes me a ten-thousand- kilowatt smile. โAnytime.โ
Iโm pretty sure Macy whimpers a little at the sight of that grin, but she doesnโt say anything. Just kind of walks to the door and smiles weakly as she waits for him to leave. Which he does with a little wave for me and a fist bump for her on his way out.
The second the door is closed, and locked, behind him, I say, โYouโve got a crush on Flint.โ
โI donโt!โ she answers, looking wildly at the door, like he can hear us through the thick wood.
โOh yeah? Then what was all that about?โ
โAll what?โ Her voice is about three octaves too high.
โYou know.โ I wring my hands, bat my lashes, give a halfway-decent imitation of the sounds sheโs been making since her father flagged down Flint for help.
โI donโt sound like that.โ
โYou totally sound like that,โ I tell her. โBut I donโt get it. If you like him, why didnโt you try to talk to him more? I mean, it was, like, a perfect opportunity.โ
โI donโtย likeย him like him. I donโt!โ she insists with a laugh
when I give her a look. โI mean, yeah, heโs gorgeous and nice and supersmart, but Iโve got a boyfriend who I really care about. Itโs just, Flint is soโฆFlint. You know? And he was in ourย room,ย next to your bed.โ She sighs. โThe mind boggles.โ
โDonโt you mean swoons?โ I tease.
โWhatever.โ She rolls her eyes. โItโs not a real crush. Itโs more likeโฆโ
โMore like the aura surrounding the most popular boy in school?โ
โYes, that! Exactly that. Except Flintโs not quite that high on the list. Jaxon and his group have the top positions pretty much sewn up.โ
โJaxon?โ I ask, trying to sound casual even as my whole body goes on high alert. I donโt know how I know sheโs talking aboutย him, but I do. โWhoโs Jaxon?โ
โJaxon Vega.โ She fake swoons. โI haveย noย idea how to explain Jaxon, exceptโฆ Oh, wait! You saw him.โ
โI did?โ I try to ignore the way flying dinosaurs have once again taken up residence in my stomach.
โYeah, on the way to our room. He was one of the guys who nearly hit me in the face with the door. The really hot
one out in front.โ
I play dumb even though my heart is suddenly beating way too fast. โYou mean the ones who completely ignored us?โ
โYeah.โ She laughs. โDonโt take it personally, though.
Thatโs just the way Jaxon is. Heโsโฆangsty.โ
Heโs a lot more than angsty, if our conversation a little while ago is anything to go by. But Iโm not about to bring up what happened to Macy when I donโt even know how I feel about it yet.
So I do the only thing I can do. I change the subject. โThanks so much for setting up the room for me. I appreciate it.โ
โOh, donโt worry about it.โ She waves it away. โIt was no big deal.โ
โIโm pretty sure itย wasย a big deal. I donโt know that many companies that deliver ninety minutes outside of Healy, Alaska.โ
She blushes a little and looks away, like she doesnโt want me to know just how much trouble sheโs gone through to make me feel at home. But then she shrugs and says, โYeah, well, my dad knows all the ones that do. It wasnโt a problem.โ
โStill, youโre totally my favorite cousin.โ She rolls her eyes. โIโm your only cousin.โ
โDoesnโt mean you arenโt also my favorite.โ โMy dad uses that line.โ
โThat youโre his favorite cousin?โ I tease.
โYou know what I mean.โ She sighs in obvious exasperation. โYouโre a dork; you know that, right?โ
โI absolutely do, yes.โ
She laughs, even as she crosses to the mini fridge next to her desk. โHere, drink this,โ she says as she pulls out a large bottle of water and tosses it to me. โAnd Iโll show you the rest.โ
โThe rest?โ
โYeah. Thereโs more.โ She crosses to one of the closets and pulls open the doors. โI figured your wardrobe wasnโt exactly equipped for Alaska, so I supplemented a little.โ
โA littleย is an understatement, donโt you think?โ
Lined up inside the closet are several black skirts and pants, along with white and black blouses, a bunch of black or purple polo shirts, two black blazers, and two red and black plaid scarves. There are also a bunch of lined hoodies, a few thick sweaters, a heavy jacket, and two more pairs of snow pantsโonly a few of which are in hot pink, thankfully. On the floor are a few pairs of new shoes and snow boots, along with a large box of what looks like books and school supplies.
โThere are socks and thermal underwear and some fleece
shirts and pants in your dresser drawers. I figure moving here is hard enough. I didnโt want you to have to worry about anything extra.โ
And just like that, she manages to knock down the first line of my defenses. Tears bloom in my eyes, and I look away, blinking quickly in an effort to hide what a disaster I am.
It obviously doesnโt work, because Macy makes a small exclamation of dismay. Sheโs across the room in the blink of an eye, pulling me into a coconut-scented hug that seems
incongruous here at the center of Alaska. Itโs also strangely comforting.
โIt sucks, Grace. The whole thing just totally sucks, and I wish I could make it better. I wish I could just wave a wand and put everything back the way it used to be.โ
I nod because thereโs a lump in my throat. And because thereโs nothing else to say. Except that I wish for that, too.
I wish that the last words my parents and I spoke werenโt hurled at each other in a fight that seems so stupid now.
I wish that my dad hadnโt lost control of the car two hours later and driven himself and my mother off a cliff, plunging hundreds of feet into the ocean.
Most of all, I wish that I could smell my motherโs perfume or hear the deep rumble of my fatherโs voice just one more time.
I let Macy hug me as long as I can stand itโwhich is only about five seconds or soโand then I pull away. Iโve never particularly liked being touched, and itโs only gotten worse since my parents died.
โThanks forโโ I gesture to the bed and closet. โAll of this.โ โOf course. And I want you to know, if you ever need to talk or whatever, Iโm here. I know itโs not the same, because my mom left; she didnโt die.โ She swallows hard, takes a deep breath before continuing. โBut I know what itโs like to
feel alone. And Iโm a good listener.โ
Itโs the first time sheโs actually used the word โdie.โ The first time sheโs actually acknowledged what happened to my parents by name. The fact that she has makes it so much easier to say, โThank you,โ and mean it, even as I remember that Jaxon didnโt shy away from it, either. He
might have been a jackass all the way around, but he called my parentsโ death what it was. And didnโt treat me like I was going to shatter under the weight of one harsh word.
Maybe thatโs why Iโm still thinking about him when I should be writing him off for the jerk he is.
She nods, watching me out of worried eyes that only make me feel worse.
โI should probably get unpacked.โ I look down at my suitcases with distaste. It feels like I just packed them. The last thing I want to do is empty them right now. Not when my electric-pink bed is calling me like a beacon.
โI can totally help with that.โ She points at a door across the room. โWhy donโt you go take a shower and get into your pajamas? Iโll check on the soup my dad said he sent up. Then you can eat, take some Advil, and get some rest. Hopefully, when you wake up, youโll be better acclimated to the altitude.โ
โThat soundsโฆโ I really do feel crappy, and a shower sounds amazing. As does sleep, considering Iโve been so nervous about the move that I havenโt gotten much in the last week or so.
โPerfect, right?โ She fills in the blank. โIt really does, yeah.โ
โGood.โ She walks to her closet and pulls out a couple extra towels. โIf you want to hop in the shower, Iโll get you some warm soup and hopefully, in half an hour, this whole day will feel a lot better.โ
โThanks, Macy.โ I turn to look at her. โI mean it.โ
A grin splits her face and lights up her eyes. โYouโre welcome.โ
Fifteen minutes later, Iโm out of the shower and dressed in my favorite pair of pajamasโa Harry Styles T-shirt from his first solo tour and a pair of blue fleece pants with white and yellow daisies all over themโonly to find Macy dancing around the room to โWatermelon Sugar.โ
Talk about kismet.
Macy oohs and aahs over the concert teeโas she shouldโ but other than that, she pretty much leaves me alone. Except to make sure I drink an entire thirty-two-ounce bottle of waterย andย take the Advil she left on my nightstand.
A bowl of chicken noodle soup sits on my nightstand, but I lack the energy to eat. Instead, I slip into bed and pull the hot-pink covers over my head.
As I drift off to sleep, the last thought on my mind is that, despite everything, tonight is the first time I’ve managed to take a shower without fighting back tears since my parents passed away.