โJust Because You Live in a Tower Doesnโt Make Youโ
a Prince
The ride isnโt as bad as I thought it would be.
I mean, itโs not good, but that has more to do with the fact that Iโve been traveling all day and I just want to get someplaceโanyplaceโwhere I can stay longer than a layover. Or a really long snowmobile ride.
And if that place also happens to be warm and devoid of the local wildlife I can hear howling in the distance, then Iโm all about it. Especially since everything south of my waist seems to have fallen asleepโฆ
Iโm in the middle of trying to figure out how to wake up my very numb butt when we suddenly veer off the trail (and I mean โtrailโ in the loosest sense of the word) weโve been following and onto a kind of plateau on the side of the mountain. Itโs as we wind our way through yet another copse of trees that I finally see lights up ahead.
โIs that Katmere Academy?โ I shout.
โYeah.โ Macy lays off the speed a little, steering around trees like weโre on a giant slalom course. โWe should be there in about five minutes.โ
Thank God. Much longer out here and I might actually lose a toe or three, even with my doubled-up wool socks. I mean, everyone knows Alaska is cold, but can I just sayโitโs
freakingย cold, and I wasย notย prepared.
Yet another roar sounds in the distance, but as we finally clear the thicket of trees, itโs hard to pay attention to anything but the huge building looming in front of us, growing closer with every second that passes.
Or should I say the hugeย castleย looming in front of us,
because the dwelling Iโm looking at is nothing like a modern building. And absolutely nothing like any school I haveย everย seen. I tried to Google it before I got here, but apparently Katmere Academy is so elite even Google hasnโt heard of it.
First of all, itโs big. Like, really bigโฆand sprawling. From here it looks like the brick wall in front of the castle stretches halfway around the mountain.
Second, itโs elegant. Like, really, really elegant, with architecture Iโve only heard described in my art classes before. Vaulted arches, flying buttresses, and giant, ornate windows dominate the structure.
And third, as we get closer, I canโt help wondering if my eyes are deceiving me or if there are gargoylesโactual gargoylesโprotruding from the top of the castle walls. I know itโs just my imagination, but Iโd be lying if I said I didnโt half expect to see Quasimodo waiting for us when we finally get there.
Macy pulls up to the huge gate at the front of the school and enters a code. Seconds later, the gate swings open. And weโre on our way again.
The closer we get, the more surreal everything feels. Like Iโm trapped in a horror movie or Salvador Dalรญ painting.ย Katmere Academy may be a Gothic castle, but at least thereโs no moat, I tell myself as we break through one last
copse of trees.ย And no fire-breathing dragon guarding the entrance.ย Just a long, winding driveway that looks like every other prep school driveway Iโve ever seen on TVโexcept for the fact that itโs covered in snow. Big shock. And leads right up to the schoolโs huge, incredibly ornate front doors.
Antique doors. Castle doors.
I shake my head to clear it. I mean, what even is my life right now?
โTold you it wouldnโt be bad,โ Macy says as she pulls up to the front with a spray of snow. โWe didnโt even see a caribou, let alone a wolf.โ
Sheโs right, so I just nod and pretend Iโm not completely overwhelmed.
Pretend like my stomach isnโt tied into knots and my whole world hasnโt turned upside down for the second time in a month.
Pretend like Iโm okay.
โLetโs bring your suitcases up to your room and get you unpacked. Itโll help you relax.โ
Macy climbs off the snowmobile, then takes off her helmet and her hat. Itโs the first time Iโve seen her without all the cold-weather gear, and I canโt help smiling at her rainbow- colored hair. Itโs cut in a short, choppy style that should be smooshed and plastered to her head after three hours in a helmet, but instead it looks like she just walked out of a salon.
Which matches the rest of her, now that I think about it, considering her whole coordinating jacket, boots, and snow pants look kind of shouts cover model for some Alaskan
wilderness fashion magazine.
On the other hand, Iโm pretty sure my look says Iโve gone a couple of rounds with a pissed-off caribou. And lost. Badly. Which seems fair, since thatโs about how I feel.
Macy makes quick work of unloading my suitcases, and this time I grab two of them. But I only make it a few steps up the very long walk to the castleโs imposing front doors before Iโm struggling to breathe.
โItโs the altitude,โ Macy says as she takes one of the suitcases out of my hand. โWe climbed pretty fast and, since youโre coming from sea level, itโs going to take a few days for you to get used to how thin the air is up here.โ
Just the idea of not being able to breathe sets off the beginnings of the panic attack Iโve barely kept at bay all day. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breathโor as deep as I can out hereโand try to fight it back.
In, hold for five seconds, out. In, hold for ten seconds, out. In, hold for five seconds, out. Just like Heatherโs mom taught me. Dr. Blake is a therapist, and sheโs been giving me tips on how to deal with the anxiety Iโve been having since my parents died. But Iโm not sure her tips are up to combatting all this any more than I am.
Still, I canโt stand here frozen forever, like one of the gargoyles staring down at me. Especially not when I can feel Macyโs concern even with my eyes closed.
I take one more deep breath and open my eyes again, shooting my cousin a smile Iโm far from feeling. โFake it till you make it is still a thing, right?โ
โItโs going to be okay,โ she tells me, her own eyes wide with sympathy. โJust stand there and catch your breath. Iโll
carry your suitcases up to the door.โ โI can do it.โ
โSeriously, itโs okay. Just chill for a minute.โ She holds up her hand in the universalย stopย gesture. โWeโre not in any hurry.โ
Her tone begs me not to argue, so I donโt. Especially since the panic attack Iโm trying to fend off is only making it harder to breathe. Instead, I nod and watch as she carries my suitcasesโone at a timeโup to the schoolโs front door.
As I do, a flash of color way above us catches my eye.
Itโs there and gone so fast that even as I scan for it, I canโt be sure it ever really existed to begin with. Exceptโthere it is again. A flash of red in the lit window of the tallest tower.
I donโt know who it is or why they even matter, but I stop where I am. Watching. Waiting. Wondering if whoever it is will make another appearance.
It isnโt long before they do.
I canโt see clearlyโdistance, darkness, and the distorted glass of the windows cover up a lotโbut I get the impression of a strong jaw, shaggy dark hair, a red jacket against a background of light.
Itโs not much, and thereโs no reason for it to have caught my attentionโcertainly no reason for it to haveย heldย my attentionโand yet I find myself staring up at the window so long that Macy has all three of my suitcases at the top of the stairs before I even realize it.
โReady to try again?โ she calls down from her spot near the front doors.
โOh, yeah. Of course.โ I start up the last thirty or so steps, ignoring the way my head is spinning. Altitude sicknessโ
one more thing I never had to worry about in San Diego.
Fantastic.
I glance up at the window one last time, not surprised at all to find that whoever was looking down at me is long gone. Still, an inexplicable shiver of disappointment works its way through me. It makes no sense, though, so I shrug it off. I have bigger things to worry about right now.
โThis place is unbelievable,โ I tell my cousin as she pushes open one of the doors and we walk inside.
And holy crapโI thought the whole castle thing with its pointed archways and elaborate stonework was imposing from the outside. Now that Iโve seen the insideโฆ Now that Iโve seen the inside, Iโm pretty sure I should be curtsying right about now. Or at least bowing and scraping. I mean, wow. Justโฆwow.
I donโt know where to look firstโat the high ceiling with its elaborate black crystal chandelier or the roaring fireplace that dominates the whole right wall of the foyer.
In the end I go with the fireplace, becauseย heat.ย And
because itโs freaking gorgeous, the mantel around it an intricate pattern of stone and stained glass that reflects the light of the flames through the whole room.
โPretty cool, huh?โ Macy says with a grin as she comes up behind me.
โTotally cool,โ I agree. โThis place isโฆโ
โMagic. I know.โ She wiggles her brows at me. โWant to see some more?โ
I really do. Iโm still far from sold on the Alaskan boarding school thing, but that doesnโt mean I donโt want to check out the castle. I mean, itโs aย castle, complete with stone
walls and elaborate tapestries I canโt help but want to stop and look at as we make our way through the entryway into some kind of common room.
The only problem is that the deeper we move into the school, the more students we come across. Some are standing around in scattered clumps, talking and laughing, while others are seated at several of the roomโs scarred wooden tables, leaning over books or phones or laptop screens. In the back corner of one room, sprawled out on several antique-looking couches in varying hues of red and gold, is a group of six guys playing Xbox on a huge TV, while a few other students crowd around to watch.
Only, as we get closer, I realize they arenโt watching the
video game. Or their books. Or even their phones. Instead, theyโre all looking atย meย as Macy leadsโand by leads, I mean paradesโme through the center of the room.
My stomach clenches, and I duck my head to hide my very obvious discomfort. I get that everyone wants to check out the new girlโespecially when sheโs the headmasterโs niece
โbut understanding doesnโt make it any easier to bear the scrutiny from a bunch of strangers. Especially since Iโm pretty sure I have the worst case of helmet hair ever recorded.
Iโm too busy avoiding eye contact and regulating my breathing to talk as we make our way through the room, but as we exit into a long, winding hallway, I finally tell Macy, โI canโt believe you go to school here.โ
โWeย bothย go to school here,โ she reminds me with a quick
grin.
โYeah, butโฆโ I just got here. And Iโve never felt more out
of place in my life.
โBut?โ she repeats, eyebrows arched.
โItโs a lot.โ I eye the gorgeous stained glass windows that run along the exterior wall and the elaborate carved molding that decorates the arched ceiling.
โIt is.โ She slows down until I catch up. โBut itโs home.โ โYour home,โ I whisper, doing my best not to think of the
house I left behind, where my motherโs front porch wind chimes and whirligigs were the most wild-and-crazy thing about it.
โOurย home,โ she answers as she pulls out her phone and
sends a quick text. โYouโll see. Speaking of which, my dad wants me to give you a choice about what kind of room situation you want.โ
โRoom situation?โ I repeat, glancing around the castle while images of ghosts and animated suits of armor slide through my head.
โWell, all the single rooms have been assigned for this term. Dad told me we could move some people around to get you one, but I really hoped you might want to room with me instead.โ She smiles hopefully for a second, but it quickly fades as she continues. โI mean, I totally get that you might need some space to yourself right now afterโฆโ
And thereโs that fade-out again. It gets to me, just like it does every time. Usually, I ignore it, but this time I canโt stop myself from asking, โAfter what?โ
Just this once, I want someone else to say it. Maybe then it will feel more real and less like a nightmare.
Except as Macy gasps and turns the color of the snow outside, I realize itโs not going to be her. And that itโs unfair
of me to expect it to be.
โIโm sorry,โ she whispers, and now it almost looks like sheโs going to cry, which, no. Just no. Weโre not going to go there. Not when the only thing currently holding me together is a snarky attitude and my ability to compartmentalize.
No way am I going to risk losing my grip on either. Not here, in front of my cousin and anybody else who might happen to pass by. And not now, when itโs obvious from all the stares that Iโm totally the newest attraction at the zoo.
So instead of melting into Macy for the hug I so desperately need, instead of letting myself think about how much I miss home and my parents and myย life, I pull back and give her the best smile I can manage. โWhy donโt you show me toย ourย room?โ
The concern in her eyes doesnโt diminish, but the sunshine definitely makes another appearance. โOurย room? Really?โ
I sigh deep inside and kiss my dream of a little peaceful solitude goodbye. Itโs not as hard as it should be, but then Iโve lost a lot more in the last month than my own space. โReally. Rooming with you sounds perfect.โ
Iโve already upset her once, which is so not my style. Neither is getting someone kicked out of their room. Besides being rude and smacking of nepotism, it also seems like a surefire way to piss people offโsomething that is definitely not on my to-do list right now.
โAwesome!โ Macy grins and throws her arms around me for a fast but powerful hug. Then she glances at her phone with a roll of her eyes. โDad still hasnโt answered my textโ
heโs the worst about checking his phone. Why donโt you hang out here, and Iโll go get him? I know he wanted to see you as soon as we arrived.โ
โI can come with youโโ
โPlease just sit, Grace.โ She points at the ornate French- provincial-style chairs that flank a small chess table in an alcove to the right of the staircase. โIโm sure youโre exhausted and Iโve got this, honest. Relax a minute while I get Dad.โ
Because sheโs rightโmy head is aching and my chest still feels tightโI just nod and plop down in the closest chair. Iโm beyond tired and want nothing more than to lean my head back against the chair and close my eyes for a minute. But Iโm afraid Iโll fall asleep if I do. And no way am I running the risk of being the girl caught drooling all over herself in the hallway on her very first dayโฆor ever, for that matter.
More to keep myself from drifting off than out of actual interest, I pick up one of the chess pieces in front of me. Itโs made of intricately carved stone, and my eyes widen as I realize what Iโm looking at. A perfect rendition of a vampire, right down to the black cape, frightening snarl, and bared fangs. It matches the Gothic castle vibe so well that I canโt help being amused. Plus, itโs gorgeously crafted.
Intrigued now, I reach for a piece from the other side. And nearly laugh out loud when I realize itโs a dragonโfierce, regal, with giant wings. Itโs absolutely beautiful.
The whole set is.
I put the piece down only to pick up another dragon. This one is less fierce, but with its sleepy eyes and folded wings, itโs even more intricate. I look it over carefully, fascinated
with the level of detail in the pieceโeverything from the perfect points on the wings to the careful curl of each talon reflects just how much care the artist put into the piece. Iโve never been a chess girl, but this set just might change my mind about the game.
When I put down this dragon piece, I go to the other side of the board and pick up the vampire queen. Sheโs beautiful, with long, flowing hair and an elaborately decorated cape.
โIโd be careful with that one if I were you. Sheโs got a nasty bite.โ The words are low and rumbly and so close that I nearly fall out of my chair. Instead, I jump up, plopping the chess piece down with a clatter, then whirl aroundโheart poundingโonly to find myself face-to-face with the most intimidating guy Iโve ever seen. And not just because heโs hotโฆalthough heโs definitely that.
Still, thereโs something more to him, something different and powerful and overwhelming, though I donโt have a clue what it is. I mean, sure. He has the kind of face nineteenth- century poets loved to write aboutโtoo intense to be beautiful and too striking to be anything else.
Skyscraper cheekbones. Full red lips.
A jaw so sharp it could cut stone. Smooth, alabaster skin.
And his eyesโฆa bottomless obsidian that see everything and show nothing, surrounded by the longest, most obscene lashes Iโve ever seen.
And even worse, those all-knowing eyes are laser-focused on me right now, and Iโm suddenly terrified that he can see all the things Iโve worked so hard and so long to hide. I try
to duck my head, try to yank my gaze from his, but I canโt. Iโm trapped by his stare, hypnotized by the sheer magnetism rolling off him in waves.
I swallow hard to catch my breath. It doesnโt work.
And now heโs grinning, one corner of his mouth turning up in a crooked little smile that I feel in every single cell. Which only makes it worse, because that smirk says he knows exactly what kind of effect heโs having on me. And, worse, that heโs enjoying it.
Annoyance flashes through me at the realization, melting the numbness thatโs surrounded me since my parentsโ deaths. Waking me from the stupor thatโs the only thing thatโs kept me from screaming all day, every day, at the unfairness of it all. At the pain and horror and helplessness that have taken over my whole life.
Itโs not a good feeling. And the fact that itโs this guyโwith the smirk and the face and the cold eyes that refuse to relinquish their hold on me even as they demand that I donโt look too closelyโjust pisses me off more.
Itโs that anger that finally gives me the strength to break free of his gaze. I rip my eyes away, then search desperately for something elseโanything elseโto focus on.
Unfortunately, heโs standing right in front of me, so close that heโs blocking my view of anything else.
Determined to avoid his eyes, I look anywhere but. And land instead on his long, lean body. Then really wish I hadnโt, because the black jeans and T-shirt heโs wearing only emphasize his flat stomach and hard, well-defined biceps. Not to mention the double-wide shoulders that are
absolutely responsible for blocking my view in the first place.
Add in the thick, dark hair thatโs worn a little too long, so that it falls forward into his face and skims low across his insane cheekbones, and thereโs nothing to do but give in. Nothing to do but admit thatโobnoxious smirk or notโthis boy is sexy as hell.
A little wicked, a lot wild, andย allย dangerous.
What little oxygen Iโve been able to pull into my lungs in this high altitude completely disappears with the realization. Which only makes me madder. Because, seriously. When exactly did I become the heroine in some YA romance? The new girl swooning over the hottest, most unattainable boy in school?
Gross. And so not happening.
Determined to put an end to whatever this is, I force myself to look at his face again. As our eyes lock and clash, I come to realize that it doesnโt matter if Iโm playing out some grand romantic clichรฉ.
Because he isnโt.
With just one look, I see that this brooding boy with his guarded eyes and defiant attitude isnโt the hero of anyoneโs story. Least of all mine.